Themostfuckeduplemonevar

A/N: Hey yall, I was drunk when I wrote this, but I was sober again when I proofread it

Also my microsoft word decided to unregister itself

and wont let me use it so I wrote this on notepad with no spellcheck or grammar check.

If that offends you sorry. I fixed what I could, I dont think its unreadable Also this is the first 

time I've ever published anything like ever so let all the flames out, I want to hear how

shitty it is so I can get better. Trust me I wont cry. Also I blame notepad for the heinous

formatting of this note. Hopefully the story itself wont be all fucked up.

Enjoy the product of my sick drunken mind.

My name's Bill, I work at a pizza place for a psychotic Blaziken who decided that instead

of battling or living in the woods, she would run a pizza joint.

I have no idea why so dont ask me that shit. The place is called "Blazing

Pizzas" how cliche right? 

So I pull into work one night after a delivery to see Miss Bitch (shes a total cunt and I still

dont know how to say her name right) dealing with some asshole. It was past ten so all 

the instore folks had gone home, and

bitch was the only one actually making pizzas and taking orders, Joe and myself were the 

only drivers working at the time. Normally pizza places need a ludicrous amount of drivers

to get deliveries out on time due to the retarded people we have to deal with, but it had

been a slow week so only me and Joe were working that night. Anyway right as I walk in I 

hear this prick yell: "FUCK YOU BITCH, IVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SHIT, YOU'RE MINE!" and 

then he threw a fucking pokeball at her. Her overbearing feathery ass disappeared in a 

flash of red light into dudemans pokeball. I thought "Oh fuck no, you did not just capture

my boss!" I ran up behind this fucker and kicked the back of his knee and then slammed his 

face into the counter twice, blood went literally fucking everywhere as his nose exploded.

I wrapped my arm around him in a figure four choke and clamped his jugulars shut, right 

then Miss Bitch broke out of the pokeball. She grabbed that shit and was like "Bill get 

the fuck off that guy, he's mine." I let go of him and took three steps, then she beaned him

in what was left of his face with his own ball. Dudeman dissapeared into the ball instantly

he was half knocked out so the ball locked almost immediately. "What the fuck was that??"

I asked. She replied, "Oh just some prick dont worry he'll get his, now lock the door and

cut off the open sign."

I replied with a rather anticlimactic "K" and then did her bidding, as she ran and turned 

off the oven, the phone and the main lights. She looked at me and said "quick take him 

upstairs" I was quite surprised because she lived in the upstairs above the store, and 

that was usually forbidden territory, but I ran up there anyway because bad things tend

to happen to people who disobey her, and she was already seething over this guy.

I turned around when I heard her stomping up the stairs. "Get the fuck out of my way"

was the only queue I got, which was promptly obeyed. The door was unlocked and she vanished 

into the depths of her lair. I stood there at the threshold unsure of what to do, no one

ever ventured into that place, ever. "Well what the fuck are you waiting for? Get your 

bitch ass in here!" I walked in right as the lights were cut on. I saw her standing next 

to the switches. "Follow me"

"Aye mam" I thought and made haste to close the gap as she disappeared around the corner.

As I walked I noticed the complete and utter lack of decoration anywhere. Sterile white

walls, beige linoleum floors, and particle board hanging ceilings like the kind found in schools

or other public buildings. "Shit her life is that fucking store" I muttered under my breath

as I thought back to the rather lavishly decorated pizza shop below. We entered a room and

the first thing I saw was a literal fucking nest made out of sticks and lined with grass and

pinestraw in the center of the room. There was a computer and a plain desk with two pens

and a heavily scrawled upon notepad in one corner, a small footlocker and a shelf filled 

with strange pokeballs next to it. Instead of the top half being red, the pokeballs were 

black. I had never seen such a thing in my life. Knowing better than to ask her about it

I just stood there waiting for my next command. She told me to release him in the nest 

while she went and locked the door with a padlock "I thought oh fuck, im about to find

out how all those people disappeared." Turns out that truth is stranger than fiction, and

also much much worse.

While I released the nearly passed out former customer into her nest, Miss Bitch was 

digging around in her footlocker for something. What she pulled out made my balls shrink 

three sizes and my asshole take a suction on the chair I had found like a 29 cent plunger.

I immediatly began to pity that guy as she pulled the massive strapon out of the 

footlocker. This thing looked like someone had made it out of a one and a half inch pvc

pipe, the tip was flat, no taper whatsover, just like how a pipe should be. That wasnt 

even the most disturbing part though. The damn thing was easily 10 inches long and had 

these fucking ridges on it. They werent nice rounded ridges you see on high quality dildos,

no this shit was all sharp edges and ninety degree angles, meant to cause serous pain.

The actual straps had two inch spikes on it that were just blunt enough that they wouldnt 

penetrate skin, but whoever was getting fucked would be getting poked in more ways than one.

"GOD DAMN WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING!!!??" 

"I told you he was going to get his." She said in a husky seductive voice. Or at least

as seductive as a 6'2 firey eagle woman holding the strapon of death could accomplish.

"Oh my fucking god!" "Oh just shut the fuck up and enjoy the show before YOU piss me off 

too." I just gulped and nodded, I did not want that fucking thing anywhere near me. The 

guy in the nest began to stir and moan a little bit as she strapped up and climbed in 

behind him. She used her talons to literally cut his clothes off, while this occured he 

looked up at me and said: "what the hell, where am I, whats going on???" I just looked on

with wide eyes and stated: "Dude you shouldn't have tried that shit." Miss Bitch shot me a

shit eating ear to ear grin, I have no idea how that works with a beak, but she made it 

happen. Then she got down on her knees and grabbed the dudes ass and propped it up before 

her, lined up her sights and took the shot. Too this day I have never heard such a terrible

scream as what issued from that guy's mouth when all 10 inches of fat, ridged artifical

pvc blaziken dick entered his asshole at the speed of light. As she pulled out his hands 

gripped the closest sticks so hard they broke. That monstrosity was clearly meant to hurt

going both in and out, it honestly wouldnt surprise me if the sick bitch made it herself.

She rolled her hips and clawed and bit and pumped and thrust for almost half an hour until

that poor bastard finally passed out from bloodloss and pain. He blew his voice out about

five minutes in. Finally she pulled out of him with a small spray of blood, she stood up 

with blood and shit and various other things dripping off her "dick". 

"Clean this up and return him." was all I got as she walked out of the room while that 

torturous monstrosity swayed and dripped with each step she took.

I practically jumped up and grabbed the pokeball and snatched him up in it. The last thing

I wanted was to be involved with that fucking strapon for irritating the queen bitch

in her own home. That guy was covered in quarter inch deep cuts, and bite marks that went

all the way down his back, he was a bloody fucking wreck.

I went back into the hallway and found a kitchen looking area. More of 

those black pokeballs were sitting on the counter, why the fuck does she have so many?

I wondered.

I found some trashbags under the sink and went back to the "nest room" and used one to 

scoop all the contaminated pinestraw and grass into one of the bags. Right when I finished

she returned holding a nearly pristine pipedick, thats what I'm going to call it now;

The Pipedick. "Get naked bitch" she ordered. "FUCK NO, HELL NO, NO FUCKING WAY!!!!" I 

impulsively replied, there was no fucking way I was letting that shit happen to my ass,

she'd have to kill me first. "Shut the fuck up you stupid piece of shit!" She snarled,

"I'm not going to use this thing on you, I actually slightly tolerate you" Now she was sifting

around in the footlocker again to put away the pipedick, I noticed a couple pizza cutters

with something that looked like blood on them..... "After all that I'm horny and want 

some dick and you're here, and you're going to give me some dick so get fucking naked

right fucking now before you regret it bitch!!"

I shuddered and did as I was told, but not without some hesitation, after that show, I 

figured she probably had blades in her pussy or something like that. "Now lay on your back

in the nest" "ummm ok" Now this wasnt my first time having sex, but definitly my first time

with a pokemon, especially one as psycho as her. As I laid down like a good little human

she came and straddled me, I couldnt help but notice the slit of a pussy and nipples that

I swear weren't there before. She leaned in and put her sizeable tits in my face and gave

a simple command that all males know how to follow. "Suck." And suck I did, I devoured her

tits, anything to keep her happy at this moment. Before I knew it she was laying all her 

wieght on me, wrapped her arms around my head and had that stupid little smile all girls 

get when you use your mouth the right way plastered all over her face. Another interesting side

effect was that I actually started to relax and felt my schlong start to lenghten and 

stiffen.  A few moments later a taloned hand broke the union of my mouth and her nipples.

My head was pressed into the soft pine straw as she used her other claw to snatch my meat 

and align it with her snatch, and as suddenly as a piledriver dropping I was entirely in

her. She roared in pain? Pleasure maybe? I have no fucking idea, but that shit had to

have hurt, it sure fucking hurt for me. My dick isnt exactly a milimeter peter  and she hadnt

been opened up at all beforehand. The first thing I noticed was her heat, like holy shit

she had to have a 140 degree internal temperature, she was like a jacuzzi for my dick.

It felt fucking awesome, until she started bouncing up and down, that was when I noticed

the dryness, It wasnt sexy or fun at all, as a matter of fact it fucking hurt, it felt 

like she was trying to strip my manhood like a fucking wire.

It stayed shitty like that for about two minutes until she finally got wet enough for some

properly lubricated fucking. I was starting to enjoy myself and reached up to grope her

boobs when she grabbed my wrists and forced them down by my head. (bitch is fucking strong)

"No no no, you only get to watch, hehehehe." "you're fucking crazy" I thought, "I mean shit,

my dick is inside you, thats not exactly watching." So I layed there and enjoyed being 

ridden like a rapidash, and watching her sizable tits bouncing in time to her movements.

That is until she started moaning and grabbing my chest with her sharp ass claws. I shouted

as she dug furrows in my pecs with her claws, her only reaction was: "shut the fuck up

before I gag you!" So I sat there and bore through it, that strange mix of pain and pleasure

for almost an hour. See being clawed to death isn't exactly very condusive to orgasm, but

when it finally came, it fucking came hard. I saw stars and shot my load so hard it sent that

bitch over the edge into her third fucking orgasm. Next thing I know my dick is suddenly 

cold as ice and her dripping cunt is seating itself directly on my mouth. "Whuuu teeeh ffu

uuu?" "Remove your human filth from me, NOW!" I shuddered and then flipped her off.

"FFFUUUHH UUUUU!!" A fireball appeared next to my head and a pair of talons were pressed 

onto my eyelids. "Don't fucking play with me boy!" Well I wasn't about to get slaughtered 

by a level 70 something blaziken so she could rearrange my asshole, so I swallowed my

pride, and swallowed our cum. "Gooooood" she purred, then climbed off. "now get your shit

and get the fuck out." "gladly, but first what is going to happen to that guy?" "Oh his 

pain has just began" she let out a little demented giggle, I gulped and grabbed my clothes

and ran down the stairs streaming blood and cum and sweat and whatever the fuck else was

on me. Grabbing some paper towels from the store I somewhat dried off, and I packed the cuts

on my chest, then tied them off with my shirt. Now covered with makeshift bandages and wearing

only my pants I ran out the door and into my truck, not noticing the blue and yellow eyes 

watching from the steps.

I quit that job the next day. Too bad the bitch has my phone number and adress....

If it's not completely terribad I might post more, but I wont know that unless you tell me

and if it sucks, please do tell me to fuck off and die. Trust me It would make my day.