Starboard Observations

Disclaimer: As always and though it saddens me, I am not an employee of Bioware and as such I take no credit or payment for writing stories featuring the wonderful characters that they created.

Author’s note: THIS CONTAINS MASS EFFECT 2 SPOILERS. So you have been warned. It is also something that I’m fairly certain will be nowhere close to being canon in the real story, but I had to write it anyway. In this story, which takes place after the defeat of the Collectors, after Shepard has cut ties with Cerberus, Ashley has agreed to come and be part of Shepard’s team on the Normandy SR2. That’s about as much back story as this has aside from the in game events on Horizon, etc.

Also, this story is dedicated to Midnight Reyn, who inspired me to write this in the first place, due to our wonderful rapport as the characters of Shepard and Ashley on Twitter (Ash - http://twitter.com/OperationsChief Shepard - http://twitter.com/johnshepardN7). Midnight was my muse for this one.  I hope you enjoy it.

Starboard Observations

By Badpie


Shepard paused before entering the starboard observation deck. He took a deep breath. Ash had been patient, open minded. She had tried to hide her confusion and her frustration for the good of the mission. He knew it had been difficult for both of them these last few days. Ever since she had come aboard the SR2, they hadn’t really gotten a chance to talk about things. They had both been trying to ignore it, but a few minutes ago, Ash had reached her breaking point. He’d watched her become visibly frustrated in the CIC and excuse herself from the rest of the team. And truthfully Shepard had reached his limit as well. They needed to clear the air.

The door hissed open and Shepard found Ash staring out the large window. The room was dim. She hadn’t turned any lights on. She didn’t turn to look at him as the door closed behind him. He could see her face in the reflection of the glass. Her expression was neutral and relaxed, if a little sad.

“Nice view,” Ash said quietly. She turned and smiled at him slightly, but he could see the pain in her eyes.

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Guess Cerberus was good for something.”

Ash shrugged and looked out the window again. “They brought you back. I’d say that’s something.”

Shepard nodded. “Yeah well…” He was trying to figure out where to go from there. There was so much to say to each other but no way for it come out.

Ash laughed slightly. “Cerberus.”

“Ash,” He started, but she kept going.

“No I understand now, why you worked with them.” Her brown eyes met his. “I get it. And you won. You beat the Collectors. I’m grateful for that. That…you’re okay.” She sighed. “I’m relieved that everything worked out.”

Shepard sighed stepped toward her. “Not everything worked out,” he said honestly. He stepped up beside her and looked out into the stars as well. “Not the way I’d hoped.” There was a long heavy pause between the two of them, and then Shepard couldn’t contain it anymore. “It was my fault Ash. I’m sorry.”

“No,” she whispered. “No it wasn’t. I was wrong. On Horizon. I said –“

“You said nothing but the truth,” he cut her off. “You were right. Cerberus was dangerous. I had to work with them, but I didn’t have to rationalize it the way I did. I guess you hit the nail on the head when you said maybe I felt like I owed them for bringing me back.” He turned to face her, drinking in her profile with his eyes. “I didn’t know what to say…when I saw you I…” This was harder than he’d anticipated. “I just didn’t know what to say.”

“Me neither,” she admitted and looked down. He watched her brow furrow. Her beautiful face that he had missed so much contorted just a little with pain. “When you showed up, Shepard…it was…” she took a shaky breath. “It was a storm of everything I’d felt in the past two years just…it just raged through me.” She shrugged. “I was at a complete loss.” She met his gaze. Her deep brown eyes were moist for just a second, but she blinked it away. “So I lashed out. I’m sorry.” Shepard had suspected the two years he’d been gone had been difficult for her. But he had done his best to convince himself that she had dealt with it, that she was okay, that she had moved on. He had selfishly tried to force himself to believe that she was happy again. He realized in this moment that he was wrong. She had been in a lot of pain, horrible pain. His chest ached at the thought.

“Ash I’m so sorry,” he said softly. “I’m just so sorry.”

She closed her eyes. “It’s okay. It’s not like you could help it. I mean… you know.”

“I know.” He touched her shoulder. He saw her relax and tense up at the same time. He couldn’t take it anymore. He turned her to face him and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He pulled her close and held her tight. She breathed out and reciprocated the hug around his ribcage. He closed his eyes. The last time he’d touched her was on Horizon, a short hug, witnessed by his crew, through armor - hardly what he’d wanted or needed. And now he didn’t want to let her go. She felt warm in his arms. He could feel her heart beating. He could feel his heart beating.

‘I don’t…” Ash started, her voice shaky. “I couldn’t…accept it. I never...”

His lips instinctually found the side of her head as if they had never left it. He kissed her there, held it. The sensation of his lips on her hair made him open his eyes, forced him to admit that it wasn’t enough.

He pulled back from the hug slightly and held her face in his hands. There were tears now glistening in her eyes, threatening to fall at any second. He pressed his lips to her forehead, then her cheek. As they lingered there the first tear drop descended onto them, leaving a salty taste upon them.

She was holding his hands now on the side of her face and he was afraid she would pull away. He couldn’t let that happen. His lips descended upon hers softly. She didn’t protest. Both of them timidly tested the waters of each other for a few seconds and then plunged in. Kissing Ashley again created the illusion for Shepard that he had never left her, that he had kissed her yesterday. The familiarity and comfort of it overwhelmed him. They melted into each other, breathed each other. Two years of needing each other spurred their kisses on. They would need to talk. They would need to discuss things. They would need to sort out their relationship, their issues, and their past.

Later.

His lips closed over hers over and over. Her lips, the lips he had missed, the lips that occupied his thoughts were warm and pink against his. She breathed into his mouth with a small whimper that nearly brought tears to his eyes. Ashley was here, with him, in his arms again. The single tear that had run down her cheek was the only one that had fallen, but she was unmistakably as stricken in her need to be held by him as he was in his need to hold her.

Her breath was shaky as she pulled away to look at him, her hands on either side of his face. Her eyes were moist, pleading, desperately probing his.

"I missed you," She whispered. It was barely audible and the words caught in her throat and his lips were on hers again before she'd even finished.

He couldn't kiss her enough. He couldn't hold her close enough as his hands found her back and her waist. His thumb brushed against a small inch of her exposed skin on her lower back and he felt her body press into his.

Slowly becoming aroused, he pressed back into her. Every breath, every shift of her body made him more and more crazy to be with her. It was clear that she wanted him too.

Two years. It had been two years since he'd made love to her, and then only once. They hadn't had a chance for anything else before everything got so messed up. He couldn't wait another second.

He pulled his face from hers and looked into her eyes as he slowly stepped back with her. They made their way to the couch and as they stood next to it, without breaking his gaze from her warm brown eyes he slowly pulled her shirt up over her head. She did the same for him, allowing her fingertips to run the length of his chest, over his thin chest hair, grazing his nipples and causing his strong abs to contract with ticklish pleasure.

He took a moment to take in her tan flesh, her toned stomach, the perfect curve of her small waist, her lean, athletic arms. Her simple black bra cradled her perfectly shaped, pert, firm breasts. He ran a warm hand along the side of her neck as he found her eyes again and kissed her.

With his hands on her back and hers on his shoulders he lowered her to a lying position on the couch. He hovered over her face a moment, smiled, then kissed her again as her lips formed a smile as well. When he stood she was still smiling up at him and he saw the mischief in her eyes that he'd come to love so much.

With a crooked smirk he took her boots and socks off and tossed them aside. She giggled. He bent down, his lips descending on what he remembered was a ticklish spot just under her ribcage. She gasped quietly as he traveled lightly, lips barely touching her skin to the area just below the small adorable indent of her bellybutton, his hands confidently unfastening her pants at the same time.

As he stood again he gripped her pants and panties both on the side of her hips, which she lifted slightly as he pulled. They slid down past her firm ass, over her beautiful thighs, her gently scarred knees and down further until they were discarded as well. One of Ash's beautiful feet ended up in Shepard's hand. And he kissed the sensitive inside part just over her arch, coaxing another giggle from her as she put her head back.

He spent a moment caressing one of her legs, dragging his fingertips gently down her inner thigh. She closed her eyes and shifted just slightly widening the gap between her legs, allowing him a full view of her flushed center.

He hadn't forgotten how beautiful her pussy was. He wouldn't ever. It was perfect. An exquisite, sweet nectared heaven of light pink glistening petals. He wanted so badly to taste her again, to gently flick her hard sensitive little bud with his tongue. But he wanted even more to be inside of her.

As if reading his slightly conflicted thoughts, Ash made the decision for him. “Come here,” she whispered.

Shepard could barely breathe. His erection felt like it was going to burst through his pants. He worked to free it then quickly, never losing eye contact with her as he bent to remove everything from himself. When he was finally naked, when the air cooled his hot, tortured member he climbed onto the couch, placing himself between her legs. She moved one against him, her inner thigh running along his bare hip.

As he kissed her mouth again, he lowered himself down to blanket her warm body. His muscular arms held him over her. She touched his face and smiled. He had missed her. Far more than he'd realized even. He was suddenly acutely aware of how far away from her he'd been and for how long. And now he needed to be as close to her as he could be.

He lowered to his elbows and slid his hands behind her back to unhook her bra. She arched her back to allow him access and he removed it, revealing her small pink nipples. She had the most beautiful breasts. They were firm, round b cups. He remembered that her nipples were sensitive. His fingers traced light circles over her breast as he kissed her. He felt goosebumps rise under their tips

He kissed the side of her neck slowly and softly. As she shuddered and exhaled he slowly pushed inside of her. Soft, tight, slick walls yielded gently to him. He closed his eyes, felt dizzy. He felt her body respond underneath him, her hips roll to take him in further. Her fingers dug gently into his back as a soft sound escaped her lips, lips he found again with his own.

Gentle kisses, close, rhythmic breath, slow, gentle mutual thrusts. He felt her hands on his hips, his back, his shoulders, kneading gently in sync with her breathless moans. He kissed her jaw, her ear, cupped her small face with his hand. Tears had escaped her eyes. He stopped to look at her face. She looked into his eyes and caught his bottom lip in his. He smiled just slightly, resuming the intimate rhythm.

It didn’t take long until pressure built at the base of his spine, forcing short moans from his own mouth. He pulsed inside of her softness. Her voice and body language told him she was getting close. As one of her legs bent further, bringing it up on the side of him, his hand found the soft underside of her thigh. He held her there as he moved, and soon her whole body tensed and shivered as she came. She was quiet, gripping him tightly, throwing her head back, mouth open. The tight quivering spasms of her soft inside pulled and milked him to his own release. He grunted softly into the side of her throat. He pulled her close tightly as he came into her, throbbing and twitching, becoming more and more sensitive. He pushed deep as the two of them each let out one last noise of release.

The breathed together for a moment, their breath fractured and heavy. Shepard kissed Ash’s panting, wet lips as he gently withdrew from her. He found the spot on the couch next to her warm body and held her close. She turned her face up to his to kiss him deeply, her tongue exploring his mouth with a last summoned hint of desperate cathartic desire.

They were both sweaty, the air cooling their hot flesh suddenly. Shepard saw the goosebumps form on Ashley’s skin and he pulled her into a spoon position. He felt her relax into his body.

The two of them lay there on the couch, their clothes in rumpled piles nearby. They both looked out the window at the stars. They were quiet for awhile, Shepard’s lips pressed lightly to the back of Ash’s shoulder. The quiet was comforting, the hum of the engine the only music accompanying their tryst.

Shepard finally broke the silence. “Well,” he started. “Now that that’s over with…” he joked.

Ash laughed. It was musical to Shepard. She repositioned herself onto her back and looked up at him. She touched his face.

“I guess this doesn’t count as talking,” she said. She smiled.

The corner of Shepard’s mouth turned up. “No. No it doesn’t count as talking. We do…need to talk though.”

She nodded. “I know.”

“I’ve got two years of your life to catch up on.” He kissed her collarbone.

“Oh that,” Ash kidded. “I’ll sum up.” Her face got serious. “I hated nearly every minute of it.”

He touched her cheek, stroked it. “Everything changed, Ash” he said quietly, sadly. “When I woke up. Everything was different.” He sighed. He shook his head. “Not you. Not how I felt.”

Her eyes softened and she touched his cheek, letting her fingers run over the newly healed scars there. She smiled. “Your scars are nearly healed.”

“Nearly,” he said, his eyes on hers. She smiled, knowing what he meant.

“So,” Ash started.

“So,” Shepard repeated.

“What happens now?” She was smiling, but Shepard knew it was a good question.

He took a deep breath. “How about dinner tomorrow?”

She grinned. “You mean like a date?” They both laughed.

“I can’t promise anything fancier than whatever Rupert cooks up, but I could probably scrounge up some crappy cheap wine.”

Ash chuckled. “You make it sound so amazing.” She teased.

He grinned. “It’ll give us a chance to really talk.”

Ash nodded. “I’d like that.”

Shepard sighed, hating what he had to say next. “I guess we should get back,” he said. “Before someone comes looking.”

“That would be awkward.”

“A bit, yeah.” He kissed again, for once knowing full well that it wouldn’t be the last. It gave him comfort, made him happy. “Let’s get out of here,” he said and then they sat up, dressed and walked out together. It was officially the first time Shepard was truly excited to be alive again.