Penance

They were alive. Her, as well as most of her crew. Thane. A hysterical giggle threatened to burst through her lips and she clenched her teeth together to stop it. They all expected to see a strong, collected commander Jane Shepard, not a human being who had just travelled to hell and back with them and survived and consequently, now felt a little unhinged. Jane wondered if the rest of them felt in a similar way – some of them did appear shaken, mourning for those who had been lost. Others hid their trauma behind a steely veneer or forced jokes. One way or the other, they were all affected by what happened.

“Commander.” Joker’s voice in her earpiece pulled her out of her reverie “We have reached the Mass Relay. We’ll be back in familiar territory after we go through. ETA ten minutes, ma’am.”

“Thank you, Joker.”

Yes, they had survived and were now going home to prepare for the final stage of this war, as well as to lick their wounds behind closed doors.

Shortly after they had fled the doomed Collector base her new lover had excused himself and had locked himself in his cabin deep in the bowels of the life-support unit of the ship. It had been almost four standard days already, during which he was only seen leaving them for meals, and irregularly so. They were all busy with additional repairs around the ship, making sure that it would remain in one piece during the trip back through the Relay and Jane hadn’t had the time to confront him about his suddenly cool behaviour. Now that there was finally little time to relax, she began to feel miffed at being ignored. When he had come to her cabin four days ago he was anxious and afraid, even, vulnerable in his need for her and yet he had tried to reject her. She had understood why he acted back then, but what was the problem now?

Her reverie was interrupted when Joker spoke to her in her earpiece:

“We’re at the relay, ma’am.”

“Good, take us through.”

“All hands, hold on, we’re going through the relay. Might be a rough ride again.” She heard Joker’s voice through the intercom.

Jane grabbed a secure hold on one on the side of the table in the mess hall, knowing it was securely bolted to the floor. There was a sharp jerk, an unpleasant sensation of falling, another jerk and they were through the Relay, back in the Omega Nebula.

“Well, that went better than the first time, commander.” Joker spoke to her through the radio. “No sign of trouble – everything is as it usually is in these parts of the Terminus systems.”

“Good.” She answered and let go of the table.

“Now what, Commander?”

“Now we head out of this place to a more pleasant location. The crew needs a few days of shore leave to unwind after this mission.”

“You’re the boss.”

She headed up to the command deck and waved hello to Kelly as she passed by her on her way to the star chart. Now… where to go? The chart gave her many opportunities – some more expensive than the rest – the crew was paid well-enough and could afford a little vacation, but on the other hand, she wasn’t sure how long that would last, now that they were on their own. She had given the proverbial finger to the Illusive Man and she had no regrets, but she was a realist and she knew she’d have to find someone else to fund her operations. Perhaps she’d have another talk with Anderson – see if the council had come to their senses. Not that she would hold her breath for that.

Finally, her eyes fell on a small, glowing dot a few clicks away from the Citadel – the Linus system. There was a nice resort planet here – sandy beaches, majestic mountains, big cities filled with entertainment – all sorts of things her crew needed at the moment. She zoomed on the Linus, ah, there it was, the planet Serila. A green jewel of a world, it twinkled invitingly on her map. Serila it would be.

Her choice certainly proved to be popular – the crew shuttled down to the surfaces by the dozens – the survivors which to forget at least for a little while their nightmarish ordeal. She couldn’t blame them. Even Miranda went down, carrying a suspicious bag that appeared to have a piece of multi-coloured cloth sticking out from an unzipped pocket? A bathing suit? Shepard grinned – that would certainly cause a furor among the males down there.

A few hours after their arrival at the planet Serila, the Normandy was almost empty, save for the few people who still needed to remained at the medical wing and those who just wanted to shut themselves in their cabins and forget about the outside world. Everyone had a different way of dealing with trauma. Kelly had her hands full, not to mention that she too was deeply affected by what happened. Jane just hoped everyone would manage to pull through and become stronger, rather than break.

Speaking of people hiding in their living quarters, she knew that Thane was still in the life-support module. He hadn’t gone down to the planet, hadn’t even come out to ask where they were. Perhaps he’d asked EDI.

His silence, now that she had little else to do pass the time, was even more frustrating. Surely she deserved more than that. An unpleasant little thought flitted through her mind. Perhaps he didn’t like their coupling. Perhaps she hadn’t been good enough, or it had just been too weird for him. Perhaps him avoiding her was his way of letting her know that.

With a huff, she headed for her quarters. She had no desire to go down to the beach, mix with the crowds or party. She needed peace, quiet and decent sleep. If Thane wished to break off their little arrangement – she refused to call it a relationship at the moment – let him. She had too much pride to humiliate herself by going to him and demanding an explanation like a jilted lover.

The elevator arrived on her deck with a quiet hiss and she stepped out of it, then into her cabin.

Suddenly she felt absolutely exhausted, barely able to stand on her feet. Sluggishly she tugged at her clothes, dumping them on the floor before crawling into bed. She fell asleep the moment her face touched the pillow and dreamt of humanoid reapers and the Illusive Man doing striptease in a polka dot dress.

It must’ve been several hours later even if it felt like she had just closed her eyes when she heard the door of her quarters hissing open, followed by carefully measured steps – not too silent and not too quiet, probably carefully calculated to make enough noise so that she’d hear his approach – Thane was capable of moving completely silently, but he had enough experience not to stalk a woman who slept with a loaded gun under her pillow.

The bed under her dipped when he sat down next to her. Before he could say anything, she hissed:

“What do you want?”

There was a slight rustle behind her, he was obviously startled by Jane’s angry tone.

“I came to apologize.” Was the susurrating answer. “I have behaved atrociously towards you for the past several days.”

Finally, she turned around to look at him and was taken aback by his appearance. He looked haggard and exhausted, his clothes creased, hands hidden between his knees. He wouldn’t turn to look at her, dark eyes firmly fixed on a spot on the floor.

“After we escaped the Collector Base, I couldn’t comprehend that this was really happening.” He began.

“What exactly?” she inquired carefully.

“That I was still alive. I went there believing that it was a one way ticket. That it would be where I would die. I hadn’t counted on me living. Surviving.”

She frowned at that – he had never mentioned any of this before their departure for the base.

“I thought we resolved this.” She said quietly, remembering his anger, frustration and despair that he had developed feelings in such a moment of his life, his desperate wish to live, to experience those feelings to the fullest. “I thought you wanted to live.”

“I did. And I do. So much. But I never believed it would really happen. And now I’ve gotten my wish – I will probably live for several more months.” He answered, voice carefully dispassionate. “And after that, I will become a burden. A helpless cripple who’d slow you down and get in your way.”

She pulled herself up to a sitting position.

“Thane, surely you weren’t thinking of cutting me off because you were afraid of what the future has in store for you.” She said, all her previous anger dissipating and worry coming into its place.

“It was exactly what I was thinking of doing.” He intoned sadly.

She pulled back.

“Is that why you’re here?”

Finally, he turned to look at her – his expression was open and hungry.

“No. I am a selfish man, Siha. I cannot let you go so easily.”

She blinked but had no time to say anything else because his lips covered her in a sweet kiss, strong arms wrapping around her form and pulling her closer to him. He pulled back for a moment to look at her, their noses rubbing together and their eyes met, warm breaths puffing against each other’s lips.

“I want to be with you, for whatever time I have left. If you will have me.”

She stared at him, but he made no move to kiss her again. His embrace was loose enough that she could easily slip away, should she wish it.

“You don’t have to make a decision right away…” he began but she shook her head.

“We have no time, Thane. The Reapers are coming and you…”

“Have an expiration date?” he said with a self-deprecating little smile.

“A callous way to put it, but it’s the jist of it.” She agreed. “In this situation, however, either of us could be dead tomorrow. Or in an hour. “As for your condition, the Hanar might think of something. And if they don’t…We humans have a saying – we’ll cross that bridge when we reach it. No point in waiting and thinking. I will have you, Thane.” She informed him, expression calm and serious. She knew what she wanted and she also knew that there was very little time to obtain it – for the both of them.

His sullen, anxious expression brightened immediately and he moved to kiss her again, but she put the tips of her fingers on his full lips. A soft tongue sneaked out to lick at the sensitive pads of her digits and she shuddered, almost forgetting what she was about to say.

“However” she began more forcefully “If you ever do something like this again, I will be very displeased.”

The smile on his face was playful now, the dark eyes narrowed in mirth.

“And what are you going to do if I displease you again, Siha?” he asked her, wrapping his hands around her waist and pulling her closer until she straddled his thighs. Strong hands ran up and down her naked hips, caressing the smooth human skin. Her own hands went to his chest, running over his scaly hide, once more marveling at how smooth and silken it felt, no hint of scratching.

He sighed at her touch and let go for a moment from her hips so that she could tug his coat and slide it down his toned arms, revealing the form-fitting vest he wore underneath. Her graceful but callused fingers played with the zipper and the straps of the garment and she was about to tug it open as well when his hand gently caught her wrist and he shook his head. She gave him a curious and slightly apprehensive look, as if to ask “Now what?”

“As I said, I treated you badly for the past several days.” He murmured, and gave the palm of her hand a soft, wet kiss, a hot, slick tongue running over the sensitive flesh. She gasped and felt a tightening low in her belly. “Tonight is just for you. It’s my apology, Siha.”

Part of her was about to protest, but she also wanted to see what he had in mind in order to appease her wounded pride.

He laid her back down on the bed, kneeling between her splayed thighs. His mouth covered hers in another kiss and she forgot all about her bitterness for a moment as she wrapped her arms around the broad shoulders and her thighs around his narrow hips, shamelessly grinding against him and feeling him harden, the only barrier between them being the sleek leather he wore and the flimsy material of her underwear. Thane’s groan reverberated through her as she did so and he pulled away, regarding her with hungry, feverish eyes.

“You’re not making this any easier.” The drell noted, but there was amusement in his voice, rather than a genuine accusation.

She grinned up at him.

“Well, it’s your penance, is it not? Might as well make it count.”

His answer was to grasp the hem of the thin undershirt she wore to bed and tug it up until she was free of it, now clad only in the white sensible boxershorts that came along with the rest of the clothes Cerberus had provided. Absently she thought that now that she had someone to take them off, maybe she had to invest in some sexier lingerie – something more cut out and with more lace.

Shepard was brought out of her lingerie musings when tender hands cupped her breasts and gently massaged them, rolling her nipples between thumbs and fused middle and ring finger. She whimpered when the tightening and the heat in her belly intensified. He leaned down and took one of her nipples in his mouth, his agile tongue running around the hardened nub, fingers still playing with the other one, their groins pressing together once more and she could feel how hard and hot he was, throbbing against her moistening center.

He took his time with her breasts, caressing, squeezing gently, licking and sucking, alternating between the two, making no move to go further down or go back up. She didn’t mind, really, but the rest of her craved attention as well. Making a mental note to ask him later what this fascination with her breasts was, her hands gently but insistently pushed his head down and after a final suck, he eagerly obeyed. His tongue traced the line between her sharply defined abdominal muscles and dipped into her belly button for a moment, wetly teasing and circling and she shuddered again under his ministrations, her fingers still splayed over his scalp, following the sharp angles and smooth plates until she reached the ridge above his cheeks and tenderly caressed the underside where tender pinkish flesh met shiny greenish scales. He closed his eyes and his breath hitched at her touch and Jane grinned with delight – she had found a sensitive spot.

Their first coupling right before the departure on their suicide mission had been desperate and frenzied, if immensely pleasurable in itself as she had pushed him to the bed, rubbed him to hardness and then rode him with abandon, watching him writhe under her, but it had been over too quickly. They had both been too tightly wound up, too desperate to take their time and explore each other’s bodies much. Now they had time, and she planned to make the best of it.

She kept exploring the ridge and the much softer flesh of his cheeks and neck, feeling it vibrate with his pleasured purr. This time he did not protest as she unzipped his vest and pulled it off his broad shoulders, delighting in the sight of his tightly muscled torso.

The drell’s body was quite similar to that of a very-well built if slender human in shape, broad shouldered and well-muscled chest, washboard stomach and a v-shaped back tapering down to narrow hips. The entire expanse of his flesh was covered with tightly knit together scales, iridescent even in the faint light coming from the luxurious aquarium on the far wall, now empty again because the fish died on her, again. The scales were paler green on his chest, darkening towards his back and shoulders, intersected by dark, almost black stripes that followed the sleek likes of his muscles. One notable difference was that being a reptilian, Thane had no nipples and although she had initially been concerned about that particular lack of an important human erogenous zone, she was beginning to discover other ones, equally sensitive.

His fingers hooked under the elastic of her panties and pulled them down her hips and past her knees until she remained completely naked beneath him, absently noticing that he deposited them carefully somewhere on the bed next to them. Thane looked up at her, their eyes meeting as his hands grabbed the back of her knees and slowly spread her legs wide before his gaze travelled down and focused on her center.

Her ass was nestled against his groin and she felt him throb even through the confines of his suit, which must’ve been painful by now. Thane licked his lips, eyes still focused between her legs and she felt almost apprehensive under that intense scrutiny and made to pull her knees back together when he suddenly leaned down and gave her a tender, experimental lick.

She let out a soft mewl and the fingers caressing the scales on his scalp spasmed, her hips shuddering as he licked around her folds again before tenderly dipping his tongue between them. The human body was different than what he was used to, and yet similar at the same time. Drell women had no breasts, so Jane’s had been a novelty for him, something he was eager to explore and to see the kind of reaction he could elicit.

However, even the educational videos Mordin had provided him with earlier today – and he did so with a terribly self-satisfied smile – hadn’t prepared him for the strength of her reaction, of the way she had quivered in delight under his ministrations.

He held her thighs wide apart, his grip tight and secure and yet his mouth remained gentle as he explored her, marveling at the difference of taste and texture and shivering alongside her as he felt her tighten around his tongue. He remembered what it felt like being inside her, feeling those strong inner muscles grip his throbbing length as she rocked above him, gun-callused fingers splayed on his chest, her pale skin slick with perspiration.

He throbbed in the tight confines of his form-fitting pants as his tongue tenderly traced the tender bud of her clitoris and delighted in the new loud moan that left her lips, her head rolling from side to side on her pillows, breasts heaving in pleasure.

He withdrew for a moment and whispered:

“Siha… Look at me.”

Blunt nails trailed over his scalp and she took several rapid, calming breaths before looking up to meet his eyes as he held her gaze and dipped his tongue inside of her again. She sucked in her breath through her teeth and he felt her muscles tensing but she managed to hold his gaze. There was something incredibly intimate about this, and not just on a carnal level, something primal.

Their eyes were locked together even as he brought her to completion when she finally looked away, her back arching against the soft mattress and her thighs suddenly tightened around his shoulders. Her inner muscles spasmed deliciously around his question tongue and Thane closed his eyes as well, savouring the intimacy of this moment.

Afterwards she sagged in his arms for a moment, gasping for breath, all of her muscles slack in his grip. Jane’s eyes were unfocused, staring deliriously up the ceiling and he carefully let her legs down on the bed and leaned back. His body pulsed with unspent desire but he had promised – to himself and to her, that he tonight was all about her. Thane had vast experience with exercising self-control, so why was it so damn difficult to do so now?

Jane finally managed to gather her wits about her and looked up at him, noticing his rapid, shallow breaths, the darkening of the silken flesh around his neck and cheeks, the telltale bulge in his too tight pants.

With a smile she pulled herself up and crawled to him, reaching for the zipper holding the garment together, only to frown unhappily when his hand gently grabbed her wrist. When she looked up Thane shook his head.

“Siha, I did say this is all about you.” He seemed ready to say something more but the unhappy twist of her lips stopped him in his tracks.

“If tonight’s all about me…” she began lightly “then you’re supposed to do whatever I want. And right now I want to make you feel good too.”

Thane’s jaw worked and she could see the tiny ripples in the reddened flesh of his neck as he tried to think of an argument to stop her, but in the end there was none and they both knew it. There was no further protest from him as she finally freed him from the tight confines of the form-fitting pants. His organ sprang out and he let out a guttural moan of relief as she helped him tug the pants the rest of the way down his toned thighs and elegant ankles, then dropped them on top of her own underwear.

The first time they had both been in too much hurry to pay too much attention to details, but now that they had time, Jane focused her attention on the hard organ in her hand. Relatively similar in shape and size to a human one, if a little thicker than what she was used to, it was coloured similarly to the soft flesh of his neck. She noticed with barely concealed amusement that even that part of him retained the subtle iridescence of his flesh. His testicles hung snug against his thighs, a little higher up than a human’s, taut and round and she cupped them tenderly, rolling them between her fingers and watching his reaction with delight. The organ in her other hand jumped and throbbed, a bead of clear fluid gathering at the tip. Curiously, Jane leaned down and licked the little drop away, marveling at how silken he felt against her tongue. His muscles flexed and trembled when she did that and he let out a sound that was so low that she felt it more than heard it, a vibration that traveled through her entire body and made her shiver with pleasure.

His taste was… different than what she was used to, rather sweet than bitter or salty, musky and as exotic as everything else about him. Curious and eager for more, she took the flaring tip in her mouth and swirled her tongue around it, delighting in yet another vibrating rumble that erupted from his chest when she did that.

“Siha…” his fingers were tangled in the curls of her short black hair. “Stop… I’m going to…”

‘Good.’ She thought and pressed her mouth further down his engorged length, her hands caressing his sides, tracing the patters of darker scales that ran along his ribs. He tried to pull away and then push her head away, obviously concerned about finishing in her mouth but she wouldn’t have any of it, clamping down on him and suckling and licking him until he finally let out a hoarse, guttural moan and more of the same sweetish liquid filled her mouth and shot down her throat.

She felt him spasming, throbbing, groaning and arching into her touch, until finally, spent he fell down on the pillows of her bed, toned chest rising and falling rapidly as he shivered in the aftershocks of his orgasm.

Well, human and drell weren’t so different in the manner they reached their sexual peak after all, she thought as she licked her lips and looked down at his supine form.

She crawled up and lied down next to him, pillowing her head on his broad shoulder, sighing with pleasure as his strong hands immediately embraced her and pulled her even closer. Unsure if Thane would welcome a kiss after what she had just done, Jane just nuzzled the gossamer flesh of his throat, but he would have none of it, leaning down and capturing her lips with his, tongue questing permission and she eagerly opened her mouth, letting him explore and taste himself on her tongue. It was wet and messy and utterly delicious and she clung to him for dear life.

Even as they kissed the world began to glow and tilt curiously around Jane and she suddenly remembered Mordin’s words about Drell’s bodily fluids’ hallucinogenic qualities. Ah, well. It was too late to worry about that now. Compared to other trips she’d had over the years – the Prothean Beacon, Morinth’s influence, at least this one would be pleasant. Very pleasant, Shepard thought as she felt eager fingers tenderly circling her entrance before spreading the soft folds and sliding in.