Never Have I Ever

“I’ve never saved the world,” Alister said with just a hint of a wicked smile.

“Sure you have,” Lara said, but downed a shot of the family port anyways. “You help me all the time.”

“It’s not the same and you know it.” Zip refilled the shot glasses in front of her. “Okay, my turn. Never have I ever had sex with a guy.”

“That’s hardly fair,” Lara said good-naturedly as she raised a glass to her lips. She drank it all in one gulp and set the glass back on the table. “Fine. I’ve never had sex with more than four other people at once.”

“Four?” Alister spluttered. “Four?!”

“Alister’s probably never had sex with more than one person at a time,” Zip joked, but he didn’t take a drink either. “Your turn, Alister.”

“I’ve never been approached by a prostitute.”

Zip and Lara both drank, then Zip said, “Never have I ever hired a prostitute.”

With a mischievous grin, Lara took another shot.

“What?!”

“Come on, Lara. You’ve got to tell us the story.”

“Was it a female prostitute?”

“Yes, but it’s not as exciting as you’re thinking,” she laughed. “I was in Cambodia, and her rates were low. The story involves a hammock, seven men, and lots of coconut milk.”

“Like hell that’s not exciting!” Zip refilled their glasses. “Come on, tell us! Alister and I will even take another shot.”

They did, and Lara shrugged. “Alright, but I warned you. I was on an excursion in Cambodia—it was myself and seven men searching for a very specific temple. We stopped one night in a village near where we thought the temple was, and a prostitute came up and propositioned some of the men. She was quite young, and the man who seemed the most interested in her had a nasty reputation for hurting women, so I bought her for the night before he could.”

“Go on.” Alister licked his lips.

“We went back to her hut, where I learned she had an infant. I paid her a bit extra to make me a delicious soup with a coconut milk base, and then I slept in a hammock with her and the infant rather than sleeping on rocks. A wise use of three pounds, if you ask me.”

“Aw man,” Zip said. “Well, you did warn us. You’re on shot nine, Lara. I’ve got five, Alister’s got three. One more shot and you lose.”

“Oh, dear.” She gave him a look of mock horror. “I suppose I’ll have to stoop to your level. I’ve never been turned on by my body. The fact that you two are playing this for the stakes we agreed on speaks volumes for your stances on this, so you lads had both best drink up.”

After doing so, Lara’s bookish assistant thought for a minute, then said, “I’ve never had sex while surrounded by books.”

Zip chortled. “Is that your ultimate fantasy, Alister? Sex in a library?” They both looked expectantly at Lara, who merely shrugged.

“I’ve never done that either,” she admitted.

“It’s never too late,” Zip said brightly, putting one last shot in front of her. “Never have I ever had a period.”

Lara drank her last shot and then stood up. “I admit defeat. Where would you two like to do this?”

“The library?” Zip suggested. Alister nodded his agreement.

“Alright, but first I need a few things from my room.”

They followed Lara to her bedroom, where Winston was straightening up. “Hullo, Winston,” she greeted him, opening her nightstand and taking out a package of condoms.

“Hello, Lara,” Winston replied with a smile.

“The lads and I will be in the library for the next few hours if you need any of us. Unless I pass out first, of course.”

“Oh, goodness. Shall I make sure they don’t take advantage of you while you’re unconscious, Lara?” Winston fretted.

“No, no, that won’t be necessary.” She waved him away. “I agreed to this when I was sober, and I can only imagine being unconscious would improve the experience.”

“Hey!” Alister protested.

“Only kidding. I’m not nearly drunk enough for that,” Lara assured Winston. “Thank you for your concern, though.” While she was there with the nightstand open, she grabbed several of her own personal toys and lubricants and tossed them onto the bed with the condoms. She then divided the pile into two and handed one set to each of her assistants. “Come along, gentlemen.”

Once again they followed her through her house, this time carrying her things for her. They arrived in the library, and Lara pulled the book cart over to the desk before unbuttoning her blouse halfway.

“Here you are, Lads,” she said, hoisting herself onto the desk and licking her lips. “Your wish is my command.”

Alister was the first to react; he set his pile of things in his book cart and approached Lara cautiously, as if she was a priceless, one-of-a-kind relic and looking at her too intensely might crack her. He leaned in, almost hesitantly, and kissed her ever-so-lightly on the lips. She returned his kiss, and after a few seconds he placed his trembling hands on her shoulders, caressing them gently. “Would you mind helping me with my blouse?” she whispered encouragingly.

He reached down and began unbuttoning her shirt with some difficulty due to his shaking hands. When they were finally all undone, she cooperated as he pulled the garment backwards off her shoulders and cast it aside.

Zip, apparently jealous by the attention she was giving Alister, butted his co-worker to the side. “Hey, the deal was for the winners to share the loser’s body,” he reminded him.

“I didn’t see you making a move,” Alister shot back.

“No fighting, lads,” Lara chided them. “We’re all adults here; I’m sure you can share me without bickering.”

Zip kissed Lara firmly on her lips, his large hands sliding under Lara’s camisole and pulling it up over her brassiere. They broke away, and he pulled the undershirt off completely. Now Lara was sitting in only her trousers and brassiere on her father’s old desk.

“What do you like, Lara?” Alister asked, unbuttoning his own shirt.

“You’ll have to find out for yourselves,” she replied, brushing her fingers over one of her bra cups and watching in amusement as her assistants became even more hot and bothered.

“Anything we can’t do?” Zip seemed to be having a hard time standing still. “Like, is there anything you’ll kill us if we do or order you to do?”

“I’ll let you know if you try,” she answered cryptically. “But for the most part, no. Consider it the chance of a lifetime.”

Zip shivered. “Alright, I want you to crawl over to me on your hands and knees.”

Lara slid off the desk onto her knees and crawled to Zip’s feet. Really, ‘crawled’ wasn’t quite the word for it—she seductively slinked over to him, and just happened to be on her hands and knees while she did so.

“Oh, man.” Zip’s eyes practically rolled back in his head. “Uh… yeah…just, um…” He blinked, apparently unable to form a coherent thought.

“Do you want me to unzip your trousers?” Lara offered, hiding a smile. She would never do this for anyone she wasn’t good friends with, but as it was, she was rather enjoying herself. Right now it was just a psychological fascination with the minds of men and how easily manipulated they were, but she was sure that soon enough her lads would jump through hoops to bring her sexual pleasure, when she asked for it. “Do you want me to pleasure you like you’ve never dreamed of?”

“Yes.” Zip was practically panting as she unzipped his trousers and pulled them along with his boxers down to his knees. His erection was already completely engorged; clearly his distraction wasn’t an act. She carefully licked the swollen head, glancing up to give him sultry look as she did, and his whole body tensed.

“Careful, or you’ll miss the rest of the fun,” she teased, then lowered her mouth onto him. He moaned loudly, so she continued going. Relaxing her throat muscles, she slowly took him all the way into her throat until her face was nearly touching the neat patch of curly black hair at his base.

“How is she doing that?” Alister asked in amazement.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” Zip said with clear reluctance, intertwining his fingers in her hair and pulling her away. “Give Alister a turn so I can last longer.”

Lara turned to Alister and stroked his hip. “Do you want me to give you the same treatment?” she asked.

“Dear God, yes.” He started to unbuckle his belt, but Lara took over for him, her deft hands quickly freeing his erection. It was smaller than Zip’s, of course, but she didn’t particularly care either way. She kissed the tip of it, then looked up to smile at Alister while running her hands along the shaft in preparation. He reached down and stroked her hair. “Lara,” he murmured. “Lara, you’re so beautiful and… and… amazing.”

So Alister was the romantic type, just as she’d suspected. She lowered her mouth over his member, keeping her lips tight, and began to swallow in order to take him into her throat as much as possible. As soon as his tip passed the back of her mouth, however, he suddenly tensed and groaned. “Dammit,” he whispered.

Realising what was happening, Lara quickly took a deep breath and swallowed him as deeply as possible to avoid having to taste his semen. It wasn’t a taste she particularly cared for, no matter whose it was—which was why she rarely ever performed oral sex on men, as well as why she had quickly learned how to deep throat.

When Alister finished pulsating, she pulled her head away, gulping for air, and wiped her eyes, which always seemed to tear up a bit when she went down on men. Zip chuckled. “Nice, Alister.”

“None of that, now,” Lara said. “I’d like to see how long you last.” She rose and leaned her arms on the desk, her perfectly-formed ass sticking up in the air. “Why don’t you come fuck me while Alister gets hard again? I bet you won’t last much longer than him.”

“Hey now.” He spanked her lightly through her trousers. “You say that, but you’ve never seen me in action.”

“So show me,” she challenged, sliding her trousers and underwear down her hips and then to the floor and stepping out of them. “Put me in my place, if you can.”

He inhaled sharply at that and fumbled for a condom while she unhooked her bra with Alister’s help. He squeezed a bit of lubricant onto his fingers then inserted them into her. Lara moaned theatrically, though in reality it did nothing for her. Zip pulled his fingers out and rubbed the remaining lube onto the condom. “Ready?”

Before she could answer, he forced himself into her. She yelped, more from surprise than pain, but immediately Alister was by her side. “Are you alright?” he asked, looking anxious. “Is he hurting you?”

Zip’s fingers found her clit, and a shiver of pleasure ran through her. “I’m fine, Alister,” she assured him breathlessly. The initial pain was quickly wearing off and yielding to intense pleasure. For all his borderline-sadistic leanings, Zip hadn’t been exaggerating on his button-pressing skills. Lara spread her legs wider and massaged her breasts, as much for herself as for the boys this time. “Could you get my vibrator from the cart, please? It’s pink.”

Alister retrieved it for her, and Lara handed it to Zip, who immediately put it to good use. “Yeah, you like that?” Zip slapped Lara’s left ass cheek, using his other hand to keep the vibrator pressed between her legs.

“Yes!” She squeezed tightly around Zip, writhing against the desk with a bit more enthusiasm than she would have if she weren’t trying to prove a point. “More, please.”

“Unh, yeah.” Zip picked up the pace, and Lara could hear the strain of holding back affecting his voice. “Is that good, Baby Girl?”

Ignoring the creepy pet name (she realized it was common in the states, but still…), Lara shifted her weight on the desk to her breasts and put her hands behind her. “Will you hold my arms, Zip? Restrain them like you’ve got me handcuffed? I’d like that quite a lot.”

The vibrator stopped, and a moment later it was set near her head on the desk. As Zip grabbed her wrists, Lara knew she’d won. He thrust deeply into her, using her arms for leverage, and his body relaxed against hers as his erection throbbed comfortably inside her. Presently he pulled out, and Lara stood up and grinned at him.

“What did I tell you?”

“Hey, I couldn’t help it!” Zip carefully removed the condom and disposed of it. “You were the one going ‘hold my arms, Zip! Imagine me handcuffed, Zip! It turns me on!’ What’s a guy supposed to do?”

“Let me know when you’re ready for round two,” Lara said with a small, smug smile. “Alister?”

He was already waiting for her, condom in hand. “I’m ready,” he said, his face turning pink. “That was… quite impressive.”

She took the condom and put it on him, then pushed him backwards onto the desk. “My turn to be on top,” she announced. Alister didn’t seem upset by this, so she climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. He gasped as she lowered herself onto him.

“That’s… that’s bloody amazing, Lara,” he said, giving a little shudder as she tweaked his nipples. “You’re like… Aphrodite incarnate.”

She ground against him at her own pace, building her own pleasure even as she brought Alister closer and closer to the edge. Zip stood back and watched them, periodically stroking himself in an attemptto get back to full size.

“You know how I can tell she’s turned on right now, Alister?” Zip said sagely.

“How?”

“Look at her face. She looks like she’s out free-climbing, you see it?”

“Oh yes…” Alister pushed Lara’s hair out of her face. “I see now. She’s got that little bit of colour in her cheeks, and she seems so, so…”

“Relaxed and excited, at the same time,” Zip finished.

“I am right here, you know,” Lara reminded them. “Though it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if my climbing expression matched my sex expression; they involve similar thought processes, you know.”

“Is that why your knickers are always wet after a free climb?” Zip teased her.

“That’s it, I’m having Winston doing my laundry from now on,” she retorted, but didn’t refute him. “It’s true, though; I am rather enjoying this.”

“Yeah?” Zip asked with interest.

“Is that so?” Alister ran his hands down Lara’s arms.

“Mmm. This is my favourite position. It’s so easy for me to hit all the right places when I’m on top like this. Though I don’t suppose you lads are interested in seeing me get off. You two won the game; I’m sure you have nothing to gain from seeing me all hot and bothered and screaming in ecstasy from your ministrations. Besides, I can be very violent when I have an orgasm, what with all the thrashing about. I’m sure you two would rather let me take care of my pleasure in private with the vibrator after you’re done.”

Her statement worked as intended. Zip was suddenly and miraculously hard again, and Alister seemed to be having a hard time breathing.

“No, no way!”

“That sounds absolutely incredible.”

“Yeah, we want to see that.”

“Show us how to please you, Lara,” Alister begged. “We’d love the chance to see you like you described.”

“Hm, if you insist…” Lara brought Alister’s hands to her buttocks. “Zip, we may need your help. Grab the book cart and bring it next to us, then get behind me.”

“Yeah!” Zip climbed onto the desk behind Lara; the antique desk didn’t so much as creak. “What do you need me to do?”

Lara reached over and found a medium-sized toy and a bottle of lubricant. “I need you to get me ready for you. Start with this, please, but put a condom on first,” she handed him one, “because when I’m ready to have you inside me I won’t want to wait long.”

“Are you sure you’re real?” Zip asked suspiciously. “I thought only desperate pornstars did that for the money. Or at least, that’s what one of my exes told me.”

“I think I’m real, and I rather like it.” Lara shrugged. “Women are all different; some don’t like any penetration at all, while others, like me, want as much as possible.” She glanced over her shoulders. “Now, if you please…”

“Alright, I’m going.” Zip lubricated the dildo well, then, with Alister obliging Lara by holding her cheeks apart for him, inserted it into her back entrance. Her hands squeezed Alister’s shoulders for a moment and she grimaced briefly as it burned at first, then her body adjusted to this new intruder and she began to relax around it. It was uncomfortable for less time than usual; she thought the alcohol’s effects probably had something to do with that. Zip slowly worked it in and out of her as she ground her hips against Alister’s .

“Is she liking it, Alister?” Zip asked over Lara’s shoulder.

“I think so. Her eyes are closed, and—“

Lara cut him off with a moan. “I’m liking it quite a lot, thank you.”

Zip sped up a bit, frequently pressing his fingers into the sensitive spots at the base of her spine, which made her enjoy the whole thing even more. Lara was impressed in spite of herself that he had figured it out without her mentioning it.

The still mildly uncomfortable sensation gave way all at once to intense pleasure, and she abruptly stopped and reached behind her. “Now,” she said, messily rubbing lubricant onto Zip’s erection. “Come on, hurry.”

“Alright, chill, I’m going as fast as I can.” The toy was removed from her, and a moment later she felt an even bigger object pressing against her opening. She relaxed onto Alister, who resumed his task of holding her cheeks apart, and with a grunt from Zip and a cry from Lara, he was in.

“Are you alright?” Alister asked anxiously, rubbing Lara’s upper back.

“God, yes, better than that.” She leaned her upper body back so Alister could have access to her breasts. Her research assistant took the cue and began fondling them.

“Damn, girl, you’re too good to be true.” Zip pushed the ends of Lara’s ponytail over her shoulder and began kissing the back of her neck. “But if this is a dream I hope someone drugs me up and keeps me in a coma for the rest of my life.”

“I know what you mean; I keep expecting to wake up in my bed in need of a change of pyjamas.”

Pleased by their compliments, Lara continued to rock back and forth between them, losing herself in the unbearably wonderful sensations. She was on the brink of an incredible climax, hovering in that place just before the point of no return where every tiny bit of stimulation threatened to push her over. It was lovely, and she wanted it to last forever.

“I’ve never seen her quite like this, even when we found the holy grail,” Alister commented.

“We must be doing something right, then.” Zip alternated between kissing the backs of her shoulders and spanking her, while Alister was more interested in kissing her lips and cheeks and neck and playing with her hair and breasts. All of which was quite alright with Lara, who responded with inviting moans and murmurs of “more, please” to keep them going.

After a near-eternity of this blissful, unreal state of sensation, she finally couldn’t stand it anymore. Her entire body stiffened, and then, with a half-voluntary scream of pure euphoria, she completely gave in. She undulated violently between her two assistants, her muscles tightening and relaxing around them without any input from her. Somewhere in her mind, she was aware of the other two finishing with her, but she was too focused on the wonderful surge of electrical current and endorphins flooding her system to care about anything but her own orgasm.

Gradually, the rush subsided, and she slowly came to a stop between them before collapsing on top of Alister, who had sustained a mildly bloody lip from the encounter.

“Wow,” Zip said.

“Wow,” Alister echoed.

“That was lovely,” Lara said, her voice muffled by Alister’s shoulder. “Let’s do this every weekend I’m home.”

There was a knock on the door. The lads quickly scrambled to safely disengage from Lara and clean up, and once they moved on to rushing about to find their clothes, Lara sat up on the desk and called, “come in!”

Winston entered with a tea tray, much to the chagrin of a very naked Alister and Zip. “I took the liberty of preparing scones and tea for you.”

Lara beamed. “Thank you, Winston! You remembered how much I love them after a good--” she glanced at the butler and changed her mind about the word she’d been intending to use. “--er, a good romp.”

He returned her smile. “Of course. It’s only natural for a butler for the Croft family to be able to remember things like that. You have to remember who I’m serving.”

“You’re one hell of a butler, Winston.” Lara leaned over and kissed Winston on the cheek. As usual, he seemed oblivious to the fact that she was stark naked, let alone perched on top of her father’s antique desk.

“I hope you enjoy the Devonshire cream,” he said. “I remembered how much you used to crave it after your, ah… exploits with Amanda. However, I also brought lemon curd for Mr. Fletcher and jam for Zip. The tea is Lady Grey, your favourite.”

“Thank you, Winston.” She glanced at the boys, who were both hiding behind the desk. “Don’t be silly, lads. It’s only Winston.”

“If you don’t need anything else, I think I’ll be on my way,” Winston said, giving her a slightly tired smile. “It’s a bit past my bedtime.”

Lara glanced at the clock. One in the morning. “I’m sure we can fend for ourselves. Sleep well, Winston. We’ll try not to disturb you.”

With a slight bow, he left the library and shut the door after himself. As soon as he was gone, Lara strode across the room, still completely nude, and took her father’s old bottle of brandy out of its hiding place on a bookshelf. Zip and Alister watched her with confused looks as she opened it and poured a bit into each of their teacups.

She grinned at them and raised an eyebrow, spooningclotted cream onto a piece of scone. “I’ve never had Devonshire cream licked off my body,” she said pointedly, ‘accidentally’ splashing a bit onto her breasts. “Particularly not in my father’s library.”

Zip and Alister exchanged hesitant looks. “I dunno, Lara,” Zip scratched his head. “I’m kinda spent.”

Feigning offence, Lara used her arm to bring her breast up to mouth level and made a great show out of licking herself clean.

“Then again, I’ve never played Never Have I Ever with spiked tea in your father’s library,” Zip quickly offered.

Alister nodded his agreement. “Me neither.”

Lara ate her scone piece to help hide a smile. She knew they’d see it her way sooner or later.