Light Within

Disclaimer: I do not own the game that this fanfiction is written for, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.


I do not own ToS or any of the characters depicted here.

-


A few hours later Kratos left the house, knowing that Lloyd and company had already left. He strolled through the streets of Meltokio brooding. However that came to an abrupt stop when he saw some one he did not expect to see within these walls.

“Yuan?” He called out to his old companion.

"Kratos? What are you doing here?" Yuan asked, surprised.

“I could ask you the same question.” Kratos replied calmly.

"I was going to go check up on the Chosen One's activities. I've heard reports that his moods have been... erratic... lately, and wanted to determine the cause," Yuan lied smoothly.

“I'll say...” Kratos muttered under his breath.

"So what are you doing here?" Yuan repeated, "You don't look well. Have you been feeling all right?"

“No worse for wear.” Kratos answered easily, though there was no truth behind it.

"Really," Yuan raised an eyebrow, "Well, whatever. I have business to attend to." He seemed to suddenly remember something, "Oh, Lord Yggdrasil was looking for you. Did you piss him off again or something?" He looked Kratos in the eyes, searching for a sign of what might have happened.

Kratos visibly flinched. “Ah, I see...”

"Kratos," Yuan said more softly, understanding now, "...Will you be all right? You know I'll always be there, if you need someone..."

Kratos smiled, though it was deeply bitter. “No, I've fucked that up once already, thank you...”

Yuan was confused. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

“Nothing...” Kratos answered quickly, averting his eyes.

"Don't give me that!" Yuan snapped at him, equal parts anger and worry showing in his face, "Don't *hide* from me like that, dammit!"

“It's been a while since you've *actually* cared Yuan.” Kratos said curtly.

Yuan was taken aback, the anger in his gaze now mixed with just a trace of hurt. "I never stopped caring," he said coldly, "Not once."

Kratos sighed, he seemed to have a habit of hurting people today, maybe he should stop while he was behind. “I'm sorry... it's been a long day...”

Yuan calmed a bit at the apology, enough so to raise an amused eyebrow. "A long day, already?" he replied, "Must have been some morning. What, did you wake up next to someone whose name you couldn't remember?"

“Worse than that I'm afraid...” Kratos said with a sigh.

"*Worse* than that? All right, now you *have* to tell me what happened," Yuan told him, a hint of playfulness in his tone.

“Then let us go somewhere a little more secluded...” Kratos said, starting to walk off.

Yuan followed him, curious and a bit concerned for his friend.

Kratos led him to the café he had frequented for the last couple of weeks. As usual the place was nearly completely empty, including his favorite seat. He led Yuan to it and ordered them both a coffee.

"All right, we're here," Yuan said, a little impatiently, "Now tell me what happened that made this morning so bad?"

“I woke up beside the chosen...” Kratos said quietly.

Yuan froze. "Which one?" he asked cautiously, unwilling to take anything for granted.

Kratos gave him a look like 'what-the-fuck-do-you-think-I'm-a-pervert?' “The male one.”

Yuan returned his look with a slightly apologetic one, as if to say, 'just making sure' before he allowed himself to react. "And you slept with that idiot... why?" he asked tartly, a bit irritated that Kratos hadn't come to him instead.

“I was drunk... and I...” Kratos sighed. “I don't know... It felt right... I guess.” Kratos answered, unsure exactly how to explain it. He wasn't sure that he was drunk enough to screw the chosen simply because he was the most convenient... but he was sure he didn't want to name what it was that made him commit such stupid action.

"'It seemed like a good idea at the time', is that what I'm hearing?" Yuan asked, irritation growing. He knew he wasn't being entirely rational about this, but couldn't seem to care.

Kratos sighed, placing his head in his hands. “I don't know...”

Yuan took a deep breath. "I'm... sorry," he managed grudgingly, "You've had a bad enough morning already just waking up next to the idiot Chosen, I don't need to make your day any worse."

Kratos suddenly snapped back to Yuan. “He's not an idiot.” He growled.

Yuan was startled by his rather vehement reaction. "Fine," he said, "Sheesh, you're touchy. All right, I won't call him an idiot if you don't want me to." He shook his head, "Though it's beyond me why you would care what I call the- what I call him."

Kratos sighed leaning back in his chair. “He has quite a bit of intelligence...” He said quietly... almost fondly

Yuan looked at his old friend with an oddly speculative expression, a hint of unidentifiable emotion in his eyes. "I... see..." he responded, with an almost-unnoticeable trace of something somewhere between hurt and anger.

Kratos sighed closing his eyes, and remembering the feel of velvet skin and sky blue eyes... He felt a hint of a smile tug at his lips but repressed the urge because of his current company. The waitress came and gave the men their coffee. He thanked her than began to sip at his.

Yuan sulkily sipped at his coffee, staring across the table as if trying to see into Kratos' thoughts. After a long silence, he rose. "Well, I hope you feel better soon," he told Kratos, "Remember, I'm always there if you need something, anything at all, all right?" He decided to forgo the visit to the Chosen One for now; he needed to hear his report, not strangle him for stealing Kratos.

Kratos nodded to him. “Alright... if you could... would you tell Yggdrasil that I am investigating the earthquakes? I... do not wish to return anytime soon.”

Yuan nodded, "Of course. I'll see you later." He left the café, eager to get back to somewhere that he could sit and sulk properly.

Kratos watched him go. Sighing to himself he figured he might as well actually do as he said was and investigate...

-

“So you're the chosen of mana? Savior of the world?” A girl said in delight seeing Zelos leaning up against a wall outside of the Colosseum after the battle with those thugs.

Zelos turned to face the girl, a brunette with shining curls and wide green eyes. "Why yes, my beloved hunny, I am indeed," he purred, stepping closer so that he was just inside her personal space, "Was there... something you wanted from me?" Zelos had wanted to forget last nights incident since this morning, but couldn't simply wander off without the group becoming suspicious. This was the perfect opportunity.

The girl giggled. “Chosen one...” She ran her hands up and down his chest. “I would *love* to get to know you more...”

He smiled seductively at her. "I think that can be... arranged," he said, letting his voice turn husky, and leading her off into a small alcove, pressing his lips briefly to the corner of her neck and shoulder as he did so. His hands slipped around her waist, gradually making their way higher.

Giggling, the girl let her hands fall below his waist and massage him lightly.

Zelos moaned softly at her touch, feeling himself respond. He brought his hands around to the front of her dress, cupping her breasts and stroking them gently through her clothes, brushing his thumbs over the front of them and feeling her nipples begin to tighten.

The girl moaned into his touch, arching against him. She managed to undo his belt and slip her hands into his pants to rub his growing erection.

"Oh, yeah," he moaned in encouragement, bucking a bit against her hands. One of his own hands slipped down and hiked up her skirt, stroking the pale thigh he found underneath it, gradually bringing his hand higher.

She twitched at the feel of his hand on her and moaned wantonly. “C-Chosen one...” She cried out.

"Sh, sh, my hunny," he purred into her ear, "We wouldn't want anyone to find us here and spoil our fun, now would we?" His hand stroked her wet folds, gently parting them and sliding his index finger inside just a tiny bit, the other hand continuing to massage her breast.

She bit her lip in order to keep from crying out, her body thrusting downward slightly while her had worked away at his erection and the other one found it's way up his shirt.

Both her and Zelos were in for a nasty surprise when a cough interrupted them.

"Shit!" Zelos cried in surprise, jerking away and holding his pants closed with one hand as he turned to see who had interrupted them... and abruptly went pale. "Um... hi," he managed, refastening his pants as quickly as possible, and ignoring the discomfort.

“Hello Chosen.” Yuan said coldly.

The girl quickly redressed herself and made her excuses and left.

"Was there something you wanted?" Zelos asked, irritated, "or are you content just to spoil my fun?"

Yuan's eyes narrowed. “Your fun eh?” He nearly spat the words.

Zelos raised an eyebrow at him. "Is it just me, or are you grouchier than usual?" he asked mock-casually.

“Chosen one, may I have a few words with you somewhere more private?” He asked in a completely calm voice though his eyes gave way to the hatred he was feeling.

Zelos snorted, "As if I could stop you. Sure, lead the way."

Yuan turned on his heel then lead him, of all places, to Quand la lune est noire. He even took them to the usual seat that Kratos and him had sat at.

Zelos looked around in mild surprise. "You know about this place, too? This is the place I always used to come to with... with Kratos..." His expression fell for just a moment, pain showing on his face, before he shook it off, "Man, what a coincidence, huh?"

“Actually...” Yuan said coolly, “Kratos *took* me here...” He knew he had Zelos' full attention with that, and smiled.

Zelos' eyes widened, and his heart stung for a moment. "He... he did?" Zelos asked, "Uh... like when would that have been?" He had a sinking feeling he knew the answer.

“Right after he slept with you.” Yuan answered simply, his smile bordering on sadistic.

Zelos' face fell, "Oh." He took a deep breath, trying to ease the ache in his chest. "So you were the one he went to, to console him over having gotten so drunk that he slept with the idiot Chosen?" he asked bitterly.

“Quite.” Came Yuan's cutting reply. He knew he could easily undo everything that Kratos had accidentally done in a moments time with his lies. In the end it would be better for all of them.

Zelos sighed. "What was it that you wanted?" he asked dully.

“Your report.” Yuan answered.

"Oh, right." Zelos took a deep breath, "Well, in order to get around the Shadow Temple, we need a Blue Candle. The Research Lab refused to make us one unless we rescued a half-elven scientist named Kate from the dungeons, since it's kind of our fault they put her there. We've rescued her, and will be taking her to Ozette shortly; then we'll pick up the candle and go look for Shadow."

“Then you're making progress... good.” Yuan said. “Anything else of interest?”

"Nothing you don't already know," Zelos replied.

“Good then. I suppose that's all I need from you.” He said then stood. “Till the next report.” He turned and left.

-

Mithos came into Zelos' room at midnight. The chosen was sleeping but he could care less. The idiot chosen had almost revealed his secret to everyone when they went to Sybak. He walked over to Zelos and grabbed him by the neck, hauling him out of bed.

Zelos was suddenly and quite rudely awakened by a hand about his neck, half-strangling him. "Aagck... what the..." he gasped out, trying frantically to pry the hand off, not even registering his captor's identity just yet.

Mithos dragged the idiot out of the dwarf's house, away from everyone. Once he believed he was far enough away, he threw Zelos down. “What in hell do you think you are doing?” He yelled at the Chosen.

Zelos blinked up at him blearily. "Well, I *thought* I was sleeping, but apparently you had other ideas," he muttered, voice still thick with sleep.

“I'm not talking about that, idiot. I'm talking about you almost revealing me to everyone today at Sybak.”

"Huh?" Zelos blinked at him, "Did I? I'm, uh, I'm sorry about that, then. I guess I didn't realize what I was doing." Zelos was still not completely awake.

“Sorry hmm?” Mithos said, his voice nearly sweet, then he kicked Zelos in the stomach so he doubled over, then kicked him viciously in the face.

Zelos cried out in pain, writhing on the ground. He whimpered a bit as he tasted blood, wondering what would happen next.

Mithos walked over to him, lifting his head off the ground by his hair. “Sorry doesn't cut it.”

Zelos winced, gasping in pain at the pull on his hair. "Oww... please, my lord... ack... it won't happen again..."

“No fool. I was much too lenient last time, now you will suffer for your disloyalty.” Mithos hissed, his body becoming that of it's older form.

Zelos whimpered, beginning to tremble at the sight of Yggdrasil before him. "My lord... I meant no disloyalty... it was an accident..." he stammered, but he knew his words would make no difference when the lead Seraph was in this kind of mood.

“Do they really trust him?” Yggdrasil said, mimicking Zelos' voice. “That is what I heard when the others had turned to leave...” He growled, pulling Zelos to a standing position.

"I was talking about Kratos!" Zelos cried out, between gasps of pain at the rough treatment he was receiving.

“Even though he wasn't present... How fascinating...” Mithos, now Yggdrasil growled. “No, not any excuse will save you now fool. Your arrogance has made you stupid, just like your former mentor.”

Zelos shut his mouth, trembling harder now. He really had been talking about how the group seemed to trust Kratos' words despite all he'd done, but he knew there was no way he'd be able to convince Yggdrasil of that now. So he watched through frightened eyes, waiting for what he knew would happen.

Yggdrasil pushed Zelos face down onto the ground. He brutally ripped away his sleeping trousers and undergarments. Not even waiting he thrust into the body, holding him by the hair to keep him in place.

Zelos cried out in agony, feeling something tear that really shouldn't have. He tried to squirm away briefly, but every movement only increased his pain, and so he just held as still as he could, whimpering slightly. Tears of pain flowed down his cheeks.

Yggdrasil didn't even wait for Zelos to adjust, just mercilessly pounded into him. He slowed slightly so he could enjoy the feeling for a bit, instead of just cumming.

Zelos was practically screaming in pain at every thrust; he could feel blood running down one thigh. He sobbed helplessly as Yggdrasil slowed, extending his torment.

Yggdrasil built a rhythm back up, moving faster as he went. Then to ensure that Zelos knew his punishment, he slowed back down and tried to find Zelos' spot.

Zelos shuddered hard, crying out in horror as Yggdrasil found that place inside him, a sudden rush of pleasure mingling with the awful pain. "Please..." he choked out, "just stop... just stop it..."

“Why chosen... you're enjoying you're self...” He said, petting his slightly hard arousal.

"No..." Zelos sobbed, "no, just... stop..."

“Not until you learn.” Yggdrasil answered, petting him into full erection. “You will learn your place and who your master is...”

Zelos writhed, hating the sensations, hating that he was responding to Yggdrasil's touch, hating the part of him that wanted to give in and take what pleasure he could from this. He gritted his teeth, but couldn't suppress another whimper, of pain and frustrated rage.

He moved at a quicker pace, making sure to hit Zelos' spot with every thrust. He played with Zelos till he was dripping with pre-cum. His hips gave terrible jerks he felt his impending orgasm come on to him.

Zelos cried out in pain each time Yggdrasil thrust, but the strikes on his spot combined with the hand on his member kept him hard despite the terrible pain. Finally, with a sobbing cry, he felt himself coming over Yggdrasil's hand as the angel lord pounded into him.

The clenching of Zelos and the wail sent Yggdrasil over the edge and he came into the man, crying out and biting into his neck.

Zelos sobbed brokenly, curling in on himself as he lay on the cold ground, trembling and bleeding.

“I hope you have learned your lesson foolish Chosen.” Yggdrasil said with a sneer. “Any more actions to betray my trust and I *will* kill you.”

Zelos nodded as well as he could; at this point, he would say anything just so long as Yggdrasil left him alone. His sobbing continued unabated.

-

It was an hour later when Kratos came to see if Lloyd was all right and if Zelos had forgiven him. He approached the house when he his angelic senses picked up a soft sob of to side, just out of sight.

Zelos had briefly attempted to move back to the house, but moving his legs at all caused him intense pain, and he hadn't been able to concentrate well enough to heal himself. He was currently curled up on his side, still bleeding and with shreds of clothing hanging about him. Sobbing gently, he was the very picture of misery.

Kratos gasped loudly. “Zelos!!!” He ran to the other man and bent down, lifting Zelos' head off of the ground and into his lap. “What in the name the great Kharlan Tree happened to you?” He instantly began to heal him.

"Y-Yggdrasil," Zelos managed through his tears, "...You c-came to find me?"

“I... I heard you crying...” Kratos said. “You... how long have you been here?”

Zelos shrugged slightly. “Dunno. Long enough to get really cold." He was shivering badly, a natural result of wearing next to nothing while lying on the ground in the forest at night.

Kratos finished healing his body, then took off his coat and wrapped Zelos in it. He lifted up the trembling boy in his arms easily enough. “Do you want me to take you back to your bed... or...” He was afraid to suggest anything else.

"I...I guess... I dunno," Zelos whispered, "...I don't... want to be alone..."

“Do you want me to take you home...? I could leave a note for the group saying that you had urgent family affairs.” Kratos offered.

Zelos laughed bitterly, "Home, what's at home that I don't have elsewhere? Sebastian, I suppose, but he's not much company." He seemed to consider for a moment. "Still, I guess it's better than the rest of them seeing me like this... but they know I don't have any family left except Seles, who's stuck in that abbey... they're not gonna believe I had to leave for that."

“Perhaps some personal business then?” Kratos suggested.

Zelos glanced down at himself, “Yeah... somehow I think this counts as 'personal business'. Tell them what you want. I just...” he shook his head, “just don't leave me alone.”

Kratos nodded, bringing out a piece of paper and writing out a note, then teleporting it into the house. He then teleported Zelos and himself to Zelos' mansion, carrying him upstairs to his room where he laid him down on the bed then pulled up a chair and sat beside him.

Zelos got beneath the covers, snuggling into the soft warmth of the bed. He looked up at Kratos. “Thank you,” he said sincerely, “You really didn't have to do all this... especially after what happened...”

“No, especially because of that I... I owe you greatly chosen...” Kratos said, a sad tone in his voice.

Zelos looked confused. “Huh?” he said, “But I thought... I figured you'd never want to see me again after... and from what Yuan said...”

“Yuan spoke... to you?” Kratos said, looking just as confused.

Zelos nodded. “Yeah... he made it sound like you were disgusted with yourself for sleeping with me...” He said, conveniently forgetting that all Yuan had had to do was confirm Zelos' own suggestion.

“No, I was disgusted with myself. For using you... for doing the same thing I said I'd protect you from.” Kratos said, a slight worry working into his eyes.

“What?” Zelos was slightly incredulous. “Dude, how much of that night did you forget? I wanted it just as much as you did, okay? I was just worried about you because of what had happened before... I didn't have any problems with it.” He gave the older man a faint smile, “So stop worrying about that. I don't have any regrets, except that you weren't entirely yourself.”

“I remember that night perfectly now.” Kratos said, a smile working it's way onto his lips. “It's... a pleasant memory.”

Zelos' smile grew more genuine. “I'm glad to hear that.” He said. "I sure won't forget it."

“Hm... so, are you feeling better?” Kratos asked, genuinely concerned.

"Physically," Zelos said with a sigh, "...Just... don't ask me to go near him anytime soon, okay?"

“If I could do it, I would have no one go near him ever.” Kratos said with a sigh.

"That'd be nice. Just lock him away in whatever fantasy world he wants to live in, and spare the rest of us the pain," Zelos replied, smirking bitterly.

“I wish it was that easy.” Kratos said, just as exasperated.

"Yeah," Zelos sighed, "What's it gonna take, do you think? To really get rid of him? Do you think we can really do it?"

“We have to, this world and all living things depend on it.” Kratos said. “Lloyd has what it takes, as does his companions. All of them.” He looked straight at Zelos.

Zelos looked away. "Well, clearly, I don't have what it takes to face up to him," he muttered, "Just look at me."

“This isn't your fault Zelos.” Kratos said seriously, gripping his chin and gently turning it towards him. “None of it.”

"I keep telling myself that," Zelos whispered, looking into Kratos' eyes, "so why do I still feel so... worthless?"

Kratos pulled Zelos into a embrace. “You are not worthless, far from it... There are many people who care about and love you.”

"What, the rest of the group? They don't know me, not really," Zelos pointed out, "And if they did, if they knew everything I'd done... I don't know what they'd do. Or maybe you mean Seles? She still halfway blames me for her mother's death." Tears stung at his eyes, "If I were to die tomorrow and be replaced by a doll, like Tabatha... who would notice?"

“I would... Lloyd would... all your companions would.” Kratos answered. “Even if you don't see it, your companions care and that is why you protect them from the shadows.”

Zelos gave a humorless laugh, "Protect them? How, by reporting on their actions to whoever asks? Not that I can stop now, mind you... I already tried that... I know better with Mithos. Really, I'm much more of a liability than a protection at this point."

“Zelos, you and I both know that's only part of the truth.” Kratos said with a shake of his head. “You've been helping me protect them and lead them to what they need.”

"I...I guess so," Zelos replied, "I... want to believe that I have a place among them, you know? But... after everything that's happened, after all that I've done and everything else... I don't know if I can ever truly be a part of what they have."

Kratos shook his head. “I can't give you all the answers you seek.” He forced him back into a laying position. “You can only do what you need to do.”

Zelos nodded, "Yeah, you're right..." He looked at Kratos gratefully, "Thanks. Really, thanks for everything."

“It's fine.” Kratos said smiling. “Now sleep, your body still needs to compensate for all the blood you lost.”

"Yeah... I guess you're right about that, too," Zelos said with a yawn, "I'm feeling pretty worn out." He glanced at Kratos, "I know it's selfish of me, but we both know I'm selfish... could you stick around until morning? I just... really don't want to wake up and be alone right now."

“All right Chosen...” Kratos said with a small smile.