That Blurred Line

Last chapter, enjoy!

~*~

Hazy consciousness began to creep through his limbs, eye lids fluttered as light started to register. A pressure over his heart brought him around completely, and Kaiden gasped awake. For a terrifying moment he thought he had taken home a stranger, had hallucinated Shepard being here. He wouldn’t put it past a drink like tequila to do that, especially since for some reason he couldn’t remember how much he’d had to drink.

He looked down to a mop of brown hair sprawled across his chest, a tan arm wrapped around his stomach and a muscled thigh twisted in the sheets that trapped their legs together. As carefully as he could manage with sore arms, he swept away some of the hair that had fallen in the face of his companion. The purple light that poured in through the automatic blinds that had opened not too long ago as a wakeup call colored her auburn hair in reds and blues as it sifted through his fingers. Relief, like a cool draft washed over him when he could finally see Shepard’s peaceful expression, still lost to the depths of her dreams.

She was smiling softly, all the worry lines and deep-rooted anguish he’d seen last night at the bar was gone. Lying back, Kaiden closed his eyes, a headache starting at the base of his skull as he ran the events of the night before over and over again in his mind. He still didn’t believe it; it was too good to be true, even though she lay here with him now as real as the bed and the room itself. Lifting the arm she was laying on he brought his hand to her back, pulling her closer to him.

Shepard shifted at the movement, mumbling something incoherent and rubbed her cheek against his chest. The only way to really describe the feeling he got in his stomach at the gesture was to call it butterflies, and he opened his eyes to look down at her again. Her eyelids were fluttering; her brow furrowing as she began the process of waking up. A small bubble of panic rose in his throat as there was no question, she would leave him when she woke, she would leave and she might not come back ever again. He fought it down resolutely, not allowing himself to sour what could be his last hour with her because he couldn’t stay collected. Instead, he relaxed back into his pillow, eyes open and staring at the ceiling as he waited for her to come around completely.

It didn’t take too much longer, a groan signaling her eyes had opened and a tensing of the muscles in her thighs was in preparation for a stretch. Kaiden heard her breath catch in her throat, before her head lifted from his chest.

“It wasn’t a dream…” She whispered, scooting upwards against his side to look him square in the eyes.

All he could do was watch her expression, trying for what he was worth to think of something to say to her, before she left him. He wanted to beg her to stay with him, though that was impossible. He considered for a moment just biting his tongue and joining up with Cerberus just to be with her again, though he knew he could never honestly work with a corporation like that, no matter what excuses he used to justify it. Every muscle in his body wanted to pull her face down to his and kiss her until neither of them could think straight, though he worried that would have horrible consequences.

As if she’d read his mind, however, she leant forward and touched their lips so softly he almost didn’t feel her. Leaning forward he deepened the kiss, but only enough to bring her closer to him, her hands falling to his hair.

Shepard’s heart was pounding against her chest so hard she thought it was going to burst, the migraine that she’d felt upon opening her eyes to the obnoxiously bright light just a moment before had immediately dissipated. Her stomach felt a little uneasy due to her movement, but she diligently ignored it in favor of straddling Kaiden.

The kiss wasn’t supposed to lead to anything, hadn’t been meant to, but the moment she rested herself across his waist Kaiden didn’t think he’d be able to refuse her if she tried to go further.

Sitting up slowly, Shepard broke away from her minstruations to pull her hair back in to the barrette she’d had it in the night before. Kaiden watched, not knowing whether or not it was a good idea to touch her any more than he was. The fear that was gnawing at his insides growing stronger, all he wanted was to run his hands across her belly, to pull her back to him, but the liquid courage he’d ridden on last night was completely gone. He found himself turning a mess, sober in the face of his lost lover, who’d stayed with him for the night.

Shepard noticed, and gently lay back across his chest, weight resting on her elbows that sat on either side of his head. She touched their foreheads together, noses brushing softly, and began to play with his hair again. She loved his hair.

“I know I don’t have to tell you, I’m leaving the Citadel today.” She murmured, carefully keeping her features smooth and without the pain she felt at saying those words. He couldn’t respond, but nodded his acknowledgement.

“I’m not going to say goodbye…because I plan on seeing you again.” She paused, a frown touching her expression. “As long as you’ll have me when I return.”

“Always.” He whispered, his voice not strong enough for anything louder.

The look he gave her was drastically more hopeful than the previous, but was still tinged with agony. She felt for him, knew what he was fretting about. Unfortunately she also knew there was nothing she could do to make him feel better right now, short of leaving the galaxy to perish.

Pushing with renewed energy Kaiden sat up; Shepard cradled in his lap, and kissed her fervently. He didn’t want her to leave him today unsatisfied, physically or otherwise. The sound she made when she felt the growing warmth underneath her told him she felt the same.

They took it slow this time, mapping each other meticulously with fingers and lips and teeth. In this light he could clearly see the scars that adorned her entire frame, could feel every jagged rise of skin as he tried to touch every part of her. She had a particularly deep mark that curved just above her breasts, almost like a necklace but lower on her chest. He trailed the scar with kisses and one of her hands came back up his neck to his head. It drove him crazy when she played with his hair.

Shepard crossed her legs behind his back and lifting herself up by his shoulders rubbed herself against the bulge still trapped under the sheets. He took the hint, wrestling the offending fabric out of his way before Shepard lowered her hips, maneuvering effectively so that he slipped inside her without any extra guidance needed.

He moaned appreciatively, face still buried in her chest, large hands wrapped around her hips. Rotating her waist, Shepard started an even pace, grinding forcibly but lifting slowly. A deep flush started across her cheeks and down her neck as she leant back on her hands, rolling her entire body it seemed as she thrust against him.

Keeping the slow stride, Kaiden lifted his hips into her, meeting her movements with counter-thrusts. She was watching him, alternating between his eyes and where their bodies were connected, her face twisting as she picked up the pace of her movements, but only a little at a time. The need for a better angle came quickly after the tempo started to increase more rapidly, and before he could do anything Shepard brought her legs to Kaiden’s sides and pushed him to lay flat on his back. His eyes were so clear, rich brown mingled with ribbons of green starring intently at her, the passion behind them more than words could describe.

Sitting atop him with her hands on his chest Shepard leant down to kiss him; his fingers running down her back and up under her thighs. He tightened his grip suddenly, stopping her steady bouncing and keeping her hips raised away from him as he started to thrust upwards. She felt him deeper inside of her at this angle than she had last night, and her inner walls tightened around him when she remembered how good he’d felt then too. A rumbling sound rose from his chest, muffled through their kiss, and she knew from the sudden jerk to his movements that he was close.

The memory of holding him inside of her the last time warmed her insides, an electric shock of a sensation racing down her spine to where he was pounding into her finally pushed her to climax. Breaking away from him with a gasp, she dug her nails into his chest as he started to guide her hips to meet his thrusts. His hair was in his eyes, sweat rolled down the side of his face as he started to push harder, her body still shuddering in pleasure as he stumbled upon his end. Like before, she trapped him inside, a moan escaping him as the warmth that surrounded him became warmer, her hips bearing down on him, squeezing around him.

Shepard draped herself across his chest in a position similar to how they’d fallen asleep last night, and focused on regulating her breathing. She could still feel him throbbing inside of her, his arms around her back, lips touching every now and again to her shoulder and neck.

Never had she felt so at home, so at peace with herself than she did in his arms, sated and loved. All this time, in which she meant the past month and a half she’d been conscious again, she’d felt empty, devastated. Though rebuilt new and improved, there was a hole in her chest that refused to heal. Finding Kaiden safe on Horizon had put a couple of the missing pieces together, even after what he’d said in an irrational anger. Right now, nothing was missing. It didn’t matter that they were in what could’ve been a closet instead of an apartment, didn’t matter that life was moving on without them just beyond that door. They would return to reality soon enough.

All that mattered was Kaiden Alenko, and she knew she had to let him know that.

“I love you, Kaiden.”

His arms tightened around her back when she whispered this into his ear, his heart hammering against his ribcage, and with a firm hand lifted her eyes to meet his. Stroking her cheeks tenderly with his thumbs, Kaiden smiled for what felt like the first time in his life.

“I love you, Sable.”

~*~

After a couple hours of just lying in his arms she’d sat up with great reluctance, dressed in her civvies and waited as he did the same. He’d asked to walk her to her ship, and she’d smiled. They both had taken their time, Shepard not wanting to leave, at least not without him, and Kaiden not wanting to watch her go. When they finally reached the docking bay via the C-Sec central elevator, Shepard couldn’t take the silence or lack of physical contact, and had all but attacked him before the doors opened. He still couldn’t deny her, and he knew he never would.

“I don’t know how I’m going to stay sane without you by my side.” She’d told him, kissing him once more before turning to head into the airlock of the new Normandy.

She turned to look at him before the doors closed behind her, hoping against hope that it wouldn’t be the last time she’d see him. For his credit, he’d smiled for her, a genuine smile that promised so many things, so much happiness. She couldn’t help but return the gesture.

Once aboard Shepard noticed that the majority of the crew had already returned from leave, the rest had roughly 20 minutes to report before they left port without them. Her ground team, all current members were milling about the command center, Miranda and Jacob reviewing coordinates, Mordin speaking intently with Kelly Chambers, Garrus looking as if he’d been there for the sole fact of waiting for her arrival.

She felt so fulfilled, ready to get back on track and get things done. She made a mental list of her priorities as she turned to speak with Joker, the pilot sitting quietly at the helm.

“Ready for take-off?” She asked, and Joker grinned up at her.
“Your glowing, Commander.” He stated instead of answering her pointless question. Of course he was ready for take-off.

She cocked an eyebrow at him, but couldn't keep the smile from her face. She would be glowing for a long time to come, her stomach fluttering as she recalled the events of her night. The Council had been useless to them, to her, but Kaiden had given her the strength no army could.

“It was a much needed shore-leave.”

~*~

Oook, that's the end! For now...there will probably be a sequel, but not until I've beaten my current paragon play-through 100% (me1 through me2)...leave me some reviews and I might get it going sooner!