Light Within

You guys enjoying this? I do a lot of rape fics eh? Freak...

Ah hah... never mind. On to the fic, warnings in summary.

-

It was many hours later when Yggdrasil gave the order and Kratos was released from his cell.

Still without clothing, disgusted and ashamed by himself, Kratos hurried to his quarters and took a scalding hot shower, scrubbing at his skin until it was raw, once again unable to shake the feeling of filth ingrained beneath his skin. When he was done, he dressed swiftly and headed for the planet, wanting to be as far from his tormentor as possible.

In his haste he blindly headed in the direction of Meltokio, landing just outside the city scape. He looked up at the city, then not caring where he really was, headed for the only café he liked in the walls. He easily found it and even easier found the seat he and the chosen once sat at.

He drank for about an hour, knowing that no mater how much he consumed it wouldn't drown out the horrors he had just been though.

Zelos was out for a late-night stroll, wandering through Meltokio, where the group was staying to rest up before they entered the Coliseum matches. He wandered past the old café he and Kratos had once frequented, and glanced in the windows as he passed, and did a double-take. There, sitting in his old familiar spot, was Kratos... and it looked like he'd been drinking.

With a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, Zelos approached the table and sat down across from his old instructor. “Yo, you okay there, man?” he asked quietly.

Kratos startled, glancing up at Zelos. “...Chosen...?” He asked, his voice barely audible. The alcohol in his system was drowning nearly all his senses. “Why... are you here?”

“I was taking a walk, and I saw you in here,” Zelos explained, “Why we're in Meltokio is kind of a long story.” He quickly assessed the older man's state. He was completely trashed, and since Zelos knew that Lloyd was alive and well, there was only one conclusion he could draw... one very unpleasant conclusion. “Can... can I do anything to help?” he asked softly.

“You could kill me.” Kratos said in a nearly sarcastic manner, if not for the fact that a tear made it's way past his eyes and down his face.

Zelos almost wanted to weep himself, seeing the strongest person he'd ever known looking so... broken. Instead, he just shook his head. “No,” he responded softly, “no, I really couldn't.”

Kratos laughed a humorless laugh. “No, you couldn't... I can't, even now... I still live after everything...”

Zelos sighed. “I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...” he murmured, reaching out a bit belatedly to wipe away the single tear from the older man's face.

Kratos sighed heavily. “No... nothing could be done... anything that should have didn't... nothing will...” His words were slurred and were no longer coherent.

Zelos blinked at him, and smirked just a little despite the pain in his heart. “Right... I think *you* have had quite enough. Can you stand?” He considered his options. He could get the older man a hotel room... but he wasn't sure he could make an excuse to slip off and check on him in the morning, and he didn't want to just leave him alone.

Bringing him back to the mansion would be risky... but if he put Kratos in a room as far as possible from the others, and made sure Sebastian knew to keep them away from it, it should be okay... and it would allow him to keep an eye on Kratos at least until morning.

“I think...” Kratos couldn't form sentences, so he gave up and tried to stand. He got up and nearly fell over again, then leaned heavily on Zelos' shoulder.

Though struggling slightly, as Kratos was pretty heavy, Zelos managed to support him. He slung Kratos' arm over his shoulders and wrapped his own arm around the man's waist for balance, then started guiding him gradually through the streets. He was thankful for the late hour; it meant that no one would look twice at someone hauling a drunken man home to bed.

Kratos moaned as they walked towards the mansion, clinging to Zelos for support. Now and then he'd try to form a sentence, only to fail and stop again.

Zelos was too focused on keeping both of them upright to be able to pay too much attention to whatever Kratos was trying to say. Finally, they reached the mansion. Opening the door quietly with his free hand and then shutting it behind them, he guided Kratos up the stairs and into a bedroom as far from the other occupied rooms as possible.

Kratos stumbled into the room cursing when he hit his knee on something, though he couldn't feel the pain that should have been present.

Zelos guided him over to the bed, pulling down the covers as he did so. “Are you going to be all right from here?” Zelos asked, “I'll be nearby if you need anything, the third door down on the right. Don't open any of the others, I don't want them to know you're here.” He knew he probably wasn't getting through, but felt obligated to at least say it, in the faint hope that Kratos would remember.

Kratos nodded dumbly, then quickly stopped when that brought pain.

Zelos looked at him, then decided it would be best not to rely on that. He headed toward the door, intending to fetch a pen and paper so he could leave a note... perhaps a note pinned beneath a glass of water and some pain pills.

Kratos' hand shot out, grabbing Zelos' wrist. “Wait...” He said quietly.

Zelos stopped, turning around to face the other. “What is it?” he asked gently, “Is there something else you need?”

Kratos looked uncertain for a moment, then pulled Zelos down on top of him. “Stay here with me...” He whispered into his ear.

Zelos froze, then pulled back a bit, his face flushing. “Kratos, I... that's a really bad idea right now,” he told the other man firmly, “Trust me, you're not thinking clearly, okay?”

“I need you...” He said his voice soft. “I want you...” He said, pushing Zelos back down so he could kiss him gingerly.

Zelos suppressed a moan at the gentle warmth of the kiss. “Kratos...” he repeated, his tone a bit huskier than he'd intended, “you... you shouldn't be doing this. I... I don't want to let you do anything you'll regret, okay?” His tone was pleading; he wanted Kratos, but not when he was sure that the man would either kill him or have a breakdown as soon as he was sober enough to know what they'd done.

“No...” Kratos said, kissing Zelos' neck. “I want you... I don't care about anything else...” He clung to him desperately.

Zelos made a strained whimpering noise in the back of his throat as he felt Kratos' soft lips against the sensitive skin of his neck. “I... what?” he said, trying to recall what he'd been talking about, “Oh, right... we shouldn't...” It was getting harder to think with Kratos' body pressed up against him; he could feel his blood flow changing directions.

Finally, realizing that he wasn't going to be able to get away, he gave in, promising himself that he'd stop the moment Kratos started to seem uncomfortable. He pressed his lips firmly to the older man's, marveling at the heady sensation.

Kratos kissed back, then parting moved to his throat, sitting up with the other. His hands easily found their way to Zelos' pants buckle, undoing it and lowering the pants with one hand and raising his shirt with the other. He pushed the shirt up and over the chosen's head and began playing with his nipples.

Zelos moaned loudly, startled by Kratos' audacity. His hips jerked a bit toward the hand that had lowered his pants, and he arched into the older man's touch as his nipples drew tighter. He reached out and began running his hands over Kratos' body, finding the edge of his shirt and tugging it upward, his movements fumbling a bit.

Kratos chuckled softly, leaning forward and kissing one of the erect nipples. His other hand worked past Zelos' undergarment and onto his erection. He toyed with it, experimenting to find what made the other man moan.

Zelos gasped and moaned as Kratos' touch found his hard member, completely at the other man's mercy. He leaned forward to place a few feathery kisses on Kratos' neck, his hands giving up on removing the shirt and instead simply slipping underneath it to stroke at the skin of the older man's back.

Kratos moaned at the simple touch. He finished tormenting the one nipple and moved on the other. His hand moved to lower, giving his nuts a squeeze before using both hands to remove his pants and undergarments.

Zelos moaned and jerked his hips a bit, whining a little as Kratos' hand left his member. Then, feeling bolder, he began tugging at Kratos' shirt again with one hand, while the other dipped enticingly just below the waistband of his pants.

Kratos groaned in appreciation allowing Zelos to remove his shirt and helped him with his pants. When they were both equally naked Kratos took in Zelos form with noises of approval. “Beautiful.”

Zelos looked over Kratos' body, “So are you,” he murmured, tracing one hand down over Kratos' chest and stomach, then further still, lightly stroking his hard member. “Absolutely gorgeous.”

Kratos smirked. “Thank you chosen one...” He said, then lifted Zelos up and placed him on his lap again so their mutual arousals rubbed against each other. His kissed his neck up to his face, leaning in and gently kissing him. He ran his hand through Zelos' hair deepening their kiss that started as lust and was slowly turning into something else...

Zelos moaned deep in his throat at the contact between their bodies, and responded enthusiastically to the kiss. He buried one hand in Kratos' auburn locks, the other moving down to grip both of their pulsing arousals, holding them together and slowly stroking.

Kratos moaned, bucking his hips into Zelos' hands. “Go-Goddess...” He cried, pulling away from their kiss to breath. “Uhn... Zelos...” He ran his hands up and down Zelos' spine, rubbing when he found a place that made him moan.

“Oh, yeah...” Zelos moaned, “so good...” He stroked a bit faster, gasping for breath even as he placed kisses along Kratos' collarbone, then moved up his neck to his jawline. “Mmm,” he moaned against the sensitive skin, “want you...”

Kratos leaned up to Zelos' ear and practically purred to him, “You can have me...”

Zelos moaned louder at Kratos' sensual tone, and with his free hand grabbed one of Kratos'. He kissed at the fingertips, then slowly took two fingers into his mouth, licking and sucking at them. His other hand continued stroking their members lazily.

Kratos moaned and wantonly bucked into Zelos' hands. “Ah, goddess...” He cried at the added sensation of Zelos' mouth on his hand.

Zelos purred a bit, loving how he could make Kratos respond to his touch. Slowly, he slipped his mouth away from the fingers and guided the hand downwards, releasing his grip on their arousals and rocking back a bit to allow Kratos access.

Kratos eyes went to Zelos' and he gave him a serious look, that was part lust, part passion, and a strange new emotion. “Are you sure..?” He asked uncertainly.

Zelos nodded firmly, meeting Kratos' eyes, “Yeah.” His own gaze mixed desire with trust, and a hint of something he wasn't prepared to look closely at right now. “Please,” he said, his voice a husky whisper.

Kratos nodded in confirmation then pressed his fingers in one at a time stretching him. He took his time and was extremely gentle. After he felt he had stretched him enough, he moved his hand and placed his arousal in it's place, slowly pushing in and he had to stop himself several times from simply thrusting into the incredibly tight heat. He groaned as he pushed himself all the way to the hilt. He stilled for a moment giving Zelos time to adjust before moving and setting a rhythm.

Zelos moaned at the sensation of Kratos filling him up so completely. After taking a moment to let himself relax, he nodded, panting slightly as he looked into Kratos' eyes and shifted his hips a little, moaning as something inside him was struck.

Kratos smirked and thrust against it again.

“Ah! Goddess, yes!” Zelos cried out, throwing his head back and closing his eyes almost involuntarily, closing out everything except the feeling of Kratos inside him, and stroking across that spot just so...

The cry went straight to Kratos' head. He pushed Zelos down on his back on the bed and began a fevered thrusting into the man. He kissed Zelos, one hand working it's way onto his and the other hand in between them to stroke him. His thrusts became wilder as his impending orgasm took over all of him driving all thoughts from his head. With a cry of passion he came into the beautiful man.

Zelos cried out as Kratos struck his sweet spot again and again, finally coming all over his stomach and chest as he felt his insides being filled with Kratos' seed. He lay there panting beneath the other man, mind blissfully blank.

Kratos moaned softly as he nearly fell on top of Zelos. He lay on the other man panting and trying to regain his breath. After a minute or so he carefully dislodged himself from the other and cuddled up to him. Within moments he was, for the first time in a long time, asleep.

Zelos thought perhaps there was something he should be remembering, but his brain seemed to have turned into mush. Giving it up for a lost cause, he wrapped his arms around Kratos, and soon he, too, was sleeping contentedly.

-

Zelos woke slowly to sunlight shining in his eyes and an utterly contented feeling. As he rose gradually into consciousness, he felt that he was wrapped around something warm. That was rather unusual; most of his dates didn't stay the night. He opened his eyes and blinked a few times to adjust them, then froze, the sight of Kratos beside him helping to jog his memory of last night's events.

“Crap," Zelos said softly, "he's gonna kill me...”

Kratos arose slowly, mind fighting sleep and a nagging need to find out where the hell he was. “Warm...” He half muttered.

Zelos wavered uncertainly between staying there and helping Kratos with his inevitable hangover, or simply getting out before the older man remembered what they'd done. Against his better judgment, he decided to stay put. “Hey,” he whispered, “you all right?”

Kratos' eyes snapped open. “Zelos?!” He nearly screamed. “H-How?! Wha..? Where am I?!” He demanded.

Zelos swallowed hard, very nervous. "Calm down," he said, "and try to be a bit quieter, I don't want the others to figure out you're here. We're in my mansion."

“Others..? Mansion..?” Kratos asked, extremely confused.

Zelos sighed. "Yes," he said, "the others are here. You know, the group of people your son is traveling with? That's why I'm here in Meltokio. We're in my mansion. It's where I live when I'm not off traipsing across the countryside."

It all dawned on Kratos suddenly. His grew wide. “I... we...” He clutched his head. “I think... I need a bucket...”

Zelos' eyes widened, and he sprang up, looking around. "Dude, not on the bed!" he pleaded, searching for something he could grab. Finally spotting a decorative bowl on the end table, he handed it to Kratos.

Kratos threw up into the bowl. “...I guess this answers how I ended up here...” He said bitterly.

"I suppose it does," Zelos agreed, still a bit nervous, "Can I, uh, get you anything? You want a glass of water?"

Kratos nodded. “Please...”

"Be right back," Zelos said. He quickly pulled on his clothes and went out the door, moving as quietly as he could toward the kitchen so as not to alert anyone else to his presence. He got a glass and filled it with water, then made his way carefully back to the bedroom, handing it to Kratos, "Here you go, that should help some."

Kratos graciously took the glass, drinking it in small gulps. “Thank you....”

"Hey, no problem," Zelos replied, "You, uh, you were really out of it last night..."

“Zelos...” Kratos said quietly. “We... what did we do...?”

Zelos paled. "You don't, um, remember at all?" he asked nervously. If he hadn't been going to Hell when he died before, he certainly was now. And death didn't seem too far off...

“I... do...” Kratos said, narrowing his eyes. “I just didn't want to believe...”

Zelos felt something inside him grow cold. "I understand," he said, feeling as if someone else was using his mouth to talk, "Just do us both a favor and wait until the group leaves before you go anywhere, okay? I'll have Sebastian bring you some painkillers." He left quickly, before the pain could catch up to his heart, running back to his usual bedroom.

Kratos moved to stop him but the pain made him stop. “Zelos... wait...”

Zelos laid down on his own bed and let his soft pillow absorb the tears he couldn't hold back. He should have known better... but Kratos had been so insistent, and Zelos had wanted him so much... he should have known it was just the alcohol and a need for comfort talking.

When had it become so important to him?

-

Finally managing to compose himself, Zelos fixed his usual mask in place. With a broad grin, he strode into the dining room, where the others were finishing breakfast. "Yo, no need to worry, the Great Zelos has arrived!" he announced.

Everyone but Colette ignored him.

“Good morning Zelos!” She said happily.

"Well, good morning, my little angel! <3" Zelos said to her, "And how are you today?"

“I'm good!” She answered brightly. “How bout you?”

"I'm feeling pretty good today, too!" he lied cheerily.

“That's good.” She said smiling. “Breakfast is really good this morning.”

"That's good to hear!" Zelos said, sitting down at an empty spot and helping himself, "I need to keep up my strength, after all."

Colette nodded her agreement, then went back to her conversation with Lloyd.

Zelos turned to Sheena, who he'd quite conveniently ended up sitting beside, "And how are you today, my sweet, voluptuous hunny?"

“Can it pervert, unless you want everyone to know about what you were doing last night.” Sheena said under her breath.

"You wouldn't happen to be jealous, would you, Sheena?" Zelos asked her suggestively, "Because you know, I'm sure I could find some time for you..."

Under the table Sheena stomped on his foot.

"Gah! Owowowowow..." Zelos whimpered pitifully, "Fine, be that way..."

“Baka...” Sheena said with a growl.

"Huh?" Zelos said, looking at her blankly. He didn't know more than a few words of Mizuhoan.

Lloyd suddenly spoke up. “So last night I woke up to this thumping noise and a woman screaming.”

“Oh yeah, me too.” Colette said. “It was awful! I thought someone was hurt!”

Zelos blushed just slightly - he hadn't realized that they'd been quite *that* loud... and what was that about a woman? - but after glancing at Sheena's irritated expression, wisely held his tongue.

“Then I heard a man shout...” Colette said. “It sounded like... I don't know... like he was happy and angry at the same time...”

Suddenly feeling wary of the reactions from the other more worldly members of the group, Zelos busied himself with eating his breakfast. The last thing he needed right now was Raine beating him up for corrupting her students.

“He sounded... familiar.” Colette finished.

Zelos felt a heated blush spread across his cheeks. "Well, my hunnies," he declared loudly, "once we've all finished with breakfast, we should head down to the Coliseum and enter the matches."

Sheena gave him a terrible glare. “Well I'd *have* to agree...”

Zelos quailed slightly, and focused less on talking and more on finishing his breakfast. The sooner the group was distracted from last night's events, the better.

“Are you okay Zelos?” Colette asked him.

Zelos looked up at her, surprised. "Of course I am, Colette!" he said with a wide grin, "Never been better!"

Colette smiled back, though it seemed to be not completely real... “Okay.”

"How about you? Are you doing all right?" Zelos asked, just slightly concerned. He knew a fake smile when he saw one; he'd given enough of them...

“You're sad...” Colette said quietly. “You look like you want to cry...”

Zelos was shocked, but quickly recovered. "Why would I want to cry?" he asked cheerily, "I've got all my lovely hunnies with me here! You don't need to worry about me, Colette, okay?"

“...Okay...” She agreed with a nod.

He smiled at her, "That's the way." He didn't want to trouble Colette with his problems; she had enough to deal with as the Chosen of the declining world. He wondered vaguely how she managed to be so strong in spite of everything, but shook it off. He couldn't afford to think, his mask might falter.

Sheena nudged him. “Raine wants to talk to you outside.”

Zelos paled slightly, swallowing hard, but nodded, giving one last smile to both of them before heading out to see what Raine wanted. "Hello, my cool beauty," he said as he approached her, "Sheena said you wanted to talk to me?"

“Zelos. I could careless about what you do in your free time, but I do *not* want it affecting my students! Do you understand?” Raine said, straight to the point.

Zelos winced slightly, "Yes, ma'am. Sorry about that."

“Good then.” Raine said, walking back into the house.

Suddenly, Zelos' gaze was caught by something in a window up on the top floor.

Kratos was in the window staring straight at him. He gave a small wave to Zelos.

Zelos turned away, but not fast enough to hide the hurt that he still felt. Taking a deep breath, and pasting a smile back on his face, he went back inside.