That Blurred Line

Been a minute since I've written such a steamy scene, bear with it.

~*~

They started their seemingly aimless trek through the markets, entering through one of the lower levels to an open spread of closed vendor kiosks and scattered janitorial workers. Shepard immediately recognized the area, having confronted a Salarian named Chorban and a Krogan named Jax…she could picture both separate instances clearly, could see Kaiden and Ash at her side, as they always had been those days.

Moving up the stairs to the main level she knew she was drunk when she thought she saw Conrad Verner leaning against the opposite wall. A blink and he was gone. That was the moment Shepard knew she was in trouble this evening, without a doubt, and without an exit strategy.

The purple glow of the Nebula in the distance shone intensely through the windows, and though it was dark in the halls with this part of the station closed for its regulated ‘nighttime’, it was bright as day. A few more steps and Kaiden slowed his pace, his attentions focused out across the expanse of the metropolis below them. Shepard came to stand beside him, and the two watched over the balcony as transit vehicles flew between buildings, the orange clouds of the system they were in swirling as if the station itself was creating their orbit.

The silence was comfortable, for the moment. Shepard could feel her buzz intensifying, she knew it wouldn’t be long before she might become completely inebriated, and closed her eyes.

“We stood here; with Ashley…do you remember?” She asked softly, the stillness of the hallway making her whisper echo.

“I do.”

There was a deliberate resolution in his voice, and she knew he’d come here on purpose. She hadn’t known what to expect when he asked to relocate, she had figured he’d want to stay in a public place and had automatically thought they might head to another bar or other such social gathering places given their current state. For as much guilty pain as she still felt in remembering Ash, this place was peaceful, it was beautiful from where she stood, and she fought to savor the moment. A small smile touched her expression as she realized there was nowhere else and with no one else she would rather be right now.

“Where are you going, Shepard?” He finally asked, and her smile vanished.

“You know I can’t tell you that…”
“Don’t fuck with me.”

She opened her eyes and looked at him sharply. It wasn’t a rare thing for Kaiden to swear, but Shepard had never heard him curse so colorfully and with such passion behind it. Maybe she was just shocked because it was directed at her for the first time.

“Kaiden…”
“Listen to me,” He snapped, never raising his voice. “Life fell apart when you died, everything just crumbled to pieces. I know what I said on Horizon, I meant most of it…but damnit Shepard you can’t just expect that I be ok with all that fell in my lap that day and go back to normal.”

“I wasn’t asking you to.” She said, voice firm though her body swayed. Kaiden’s face gave away his deep sadness, and as he turned to face her he came a step closer.

“It took a little more than a year, for my chest to stop hurting every time I thought of you…and here you are, telling me I might lose you, again. Can you imagine how that feels?” He whispered.

The backs of her eyes started to ache faintly, and Shepard knew the water works were on their way out. Crossing her arms tightly over her chest in a vain effort to hold them in she shifted her weight to look at him squarely.

She knew he was well aware of how much trouble she could get into for divulging the kind of information he wanted to hear, but she desperately needed to give him something. She felt it in her gut, if she didn’t give him this one thing, the only thing he’d asked of her since they’d been briefly reunited, she may never see him again, regardless of the mission outcome.

“Please don’t ask for details…we know the relay the Collector’s use, and we’re going to use it to hit them at home…”
“Where?”
“I told you…”
“Sable, please.”

Shepard froze, her head still spinning. Kaiden had only ever addressed her by her first name twice. Right now, and the night before Ilos. He knew he’d hit a strong nerve when she stared at him, eyes screaming how helplessly lost she felt at that moment, and had no idea what gates he’d just opened. The first tear that started to roll down her cheek, as if she didn’t feel it, made his stomach knot. Impulse pushed his arm out, his thumb touching her cheek as lightly as a breeze and wiped the offending tear away.

It happened too fast, they were standing so close, the moment he touched her just broke every wall she had tried to force up against him and she had closed the distance. Recoil caught her just after she tenderly touched her lips to his, his smell invading her senses, reality rushed back and she hurriedly took a step away.

“I’m sorry…I can’t, I didn’t mean…fuck!”

She turned sharply, failing to register his stunned expression as the world started to jumble. Reaching out a hand to steady herself against the balcony, she brought her free hand to her eyes, the tears pushing hard, the wails of agony burning her throat begging to be released. What the fuck was she thinking?

Her arms were shaking, almost a shiver, in the anxiety that coarsed through her, waiting for him to shut her completely out, to finish them, to never speak with her again. She wished, more than anything to be sober right now. That kiss wouldn’t have happened; she wouldn’t even be here. She wouldn’t be blowing things way out of proportion, she wouldn’t be so foolishly emotional.

Kaiden stood at a loss once more. Tonight had turned out nothing like he thought it would. He’d been stationed here for the moment simply due to the lack of need for an engineer anywhere else after Horizon was lost, or so Anderson has told him. Fighting in the front lines had lost all pull for him; he no longer cared to risk his life in the line of duty unless Shepard was there to lead them. It had been an irrational decision, but he hadn’t seen any other way out, his heart just wouldn’t have it. He had figured earlier that he’d have a drink, maybe two and then head back to his temporary ‘apartment’…which was more akin to a rat nest, and go to bed. He’d foreseen nothing exciting about the day at all, and here he stood, kissed breathless by the woman who’d not only gotten him drunk, but tormented his memory with every passing minute.

To top it all off, he knew enough from vids and debriefings the last week to know that the Collector’s were the only ships to travel freely using the Omega 4 Relay. Any other ship that had ever passed through it, never returned. It was the only logical answer to the question she was refusing to answer.

His voice was failing him; his hands shook in his indecision. What was only maybe a minute or two felt like an hour, before he took the two steps necessary to touch Shepard’s shoulders and turn her back to face him. Her eyes were red and starting to get puffy, her cheeks were dry which meant she was struggling to keep the pain locked away, her brow wrinkled in the effort. His heart couldn’t deny her, especially not like this, and he stopped fighting it.

Shepard’s vision was hindered by the emotions welling up around her eyes, and though she didn’t see it right away she felt his hand reach up to brush away a couple of the stray hairs hanging in her face, it was her only warning before that hand was behind her neck applying a very subtle pressure, and his lips came back to hers.
The pillar she found her back pressed against was cold, Kaiden’s body warm and inviting pressed along her front, and her head became light. Her limbs began to feel heavy, and when she opened her mouth slightly to gasp for air Kaiden’s tongue swiftly invaded. The moment began to gain momentum, her nails dug into his shoulder blades, but not too hard, his arms wrapped around her waist, but not too tight. They were subconsciously leaving themselves a way out.

Her hands began to move of their own accord, in slow sweeping motions across the expanse of his back, moving upwards until she could tangle her fingers in his dark hair. It was still long enough for a decent handful, and he moaned deep in his throat when she tugged slightly. The sound was so honest; she felt it immediately between her thighs, a whimper escaping her because of it. Cautiously in return, Kaiden pulled her shirt away from her back to let his hands wander across her bare skin, the feel making his resolve weaken further. She felt just as he remembered, silk stretched over steel, her years of military training making her body a sculpture, a piece of art.

Shepard couldn’t resist, she opened her eyes a little, just to see his handsome face, to make sure he was really there, really kissing her, and her stomach tightened. A tear was slipping silently from the corner of his eye, his hand movements taking on a desperate note, and although she never wanted to stop she gently pushed on his shoulders. He stepped back but didn’t raise his head, and didn’t unwind his arms. She fit so perfectly to him; he never wanted to let her go again, didn’t want to look up and see rejection in those eyes.

“Kaiden,” She started, mimicking his earlier move and pressing her palm to his cheek. Instead of brushing away she left her hand where it was and felt him lean into the touch. “I don’t want to do this…if it’s only going to cause more pain.”

His grip loosened slightly, but she held onto his shoulders to prevent him from stepping away fully until he responded to her voiced concern. She did not want to carry this further only to walk away with a broken heart once again; but she didn’t want to push him away if there was some way to make it all work.

“No…it’s not the logical choice. But, I don’t think I have the strength to watch you walk away from me right now.”

Chocolate brown eyes looked down at her in genuine sincerity, and though she failed to say so she knew in her heart she felt the same. For a long while they just held each other, the heat between them still alive and burning, but lessened under the weight of the seriousness of the situation. He surprised her when he finally spoke.

“I have a place, ten minutes walk from here…” He said into her hair, her cheek pressed against his collar bone.

“Yes.” She replied instantly, before the question was even properly asked. “But only if it’s what you really want.”

“There is no doubt in my mind.”

~*~

The walk had taken longer than originally quoted to her, but only because the moment they had separated from their embrace to begin moving they both remembered how much damage had been done by the Mezcal worm. Gravity was playing tricks with Kaiden’s legs as he fought valiantly to walk normally, without the falter in his steps. Shepard was relying on the walls to guide her path. They were probably both a sight to be held, she was sure.

They were winding their way through the Wards when Kaiden reached out and took her hand, the need too great for him to ignore. He had to touch her. She was his ghost, and he didn’t want her to disappear again. Shepard had jerked a little at the unexpected display, but refused to look a gift horse in the mouth and instead intertwined their fingers reassuringly.

Finally reaching a plain white door, marked with a letter and numbers, the duo pushed inside to a dark dwelling that felt cramped even with the lights off. Kaiden didn’t bother to turn them on. As soon as the door hissed shut he wrapped her back up in his arms, determined to pick up where they’d left off. Shepard didn’t mind, her body was tingling uncontrollably, rational thought was flying quickly out the window as she was once again pinned to the nearest wall.

Their tongues danced feverishly, her hands gripping his shirt for both support and to attempt relieving him of it entirely. It didn’t take much encouragement, and the offending garment was stripped away and thrown into the blackness without further prodding required. His dog tags danced across his chest with the movement, his lips meeting hers again in deliberate strokes as her hands fell to his shoulders. Feather light touches were scattered over his front, her finger tips teasing trails across his belly before moving along his ribs and back up along his spine. He growled against her lips, the fire growing brighter.

Shepard deepened her touch, pulling him closer to her, feeling his hands grip the bottom of her shirt before it was pulled over her head. She let it drop carelessly, her mind blank except for the sensation of his skin on hers as he stepped back to her, wrapping his arms around her again and completely encompassing her in his warmth. He kissed her neck when she draped her arms back over his shoulders, his hands moving smoothly to the clasp of her bra. Though the shirts had come off roughly, he took his time pulling each strap off her arms, stroking his fingers across every part of her he touched in the process.

A deep sigh escaped her when his hands retreated back down her sides, tracing the ugly scar that ran from her left armpit to the small of her back, her head falling back as his lips moved across her collar bone. She felt the pressure of his touch move across her backside, before he reached further to grab the tops of her thighs and hoist her up against him, her legs automatically wrapping around his waist. The change in position allowed her to feel the warm bulge in his pants, pressed snuggly to her most intimate parts, and her breath caught in her throat. Her thighs tensed, holding him against her, and he circled his hips. The friction wrung primitive noises from both of them, before he reclaimed her eager lips.

The adrenaline Kaiden could feel made it possible for him to push away from the wall, Shepard still tangled around him and made it to the bed in the middle of the room without falling or dropping her. They rolled together until Shepard found leverage to keep him beneath her, her mouth descending on his while his hands found purchase on her hips and she ground against him.

Sitting up, Shepard scraped her nails lightly down his stomach, before stepping back off the bed. He sat up to lean on his elbows, worry touching his features briefly, fear that she was going to run making his heart race. But she smiled, a small delicate smile that she reserved just for him. A smile he’d never thought he’d see again, even after he found out she was still alive.

With long fingered hands, she fumbled briefly with the clasp of her pants, her nervousness rising again before she finally managed to shimmy out of her briefs and her underwear. Kaiden sat up the rest of the way, sitting on the edge of the mattress he pulled her to him. Her belly bumped his nose and he kissed it softly, running his hands restlessly up and down her legs and back. The need to have her right now, to lay her out and reconcile their chemistry was a powerful feeling, and he hesitated under the suddenness of it.

“Kaiden…” Shepard whispered, running her hands through his hair soothingly.

When he looked up she bent to kiss him, smoothing her hand across his cheek before running back along his jaw into his hairline. He couldn’t take it anymore, floating high on depressants made the decision a lot easier to make when he picked her off the floor and rolled on top of her once she hit the mattress. No more beating around the bush, so to speak.

He left her panting on the bed for just a moment to remove his pants, kicking them aside to some corner of his room and returning to her just as quickly. Kaiden pushed the couple further up the bed, laying Shepard’s head against the pillows at the top. She arched her back to help the movement, pressing her breasts into him, the supple skin yielding beneath rock hard pectorals. Their hips finally came back together, the heat almost unbearable, the sensation of their nakedness threatening her sanity. Her patience was wearing thin, her heartbeat increasing. Distantly, she thought she felt her implant humming, but decided to blame it on the alcohol in her system.

With the very little light in the room, Kaiden could see the silvery outlines of her body, her dark eyes watching him, waiting for him. A fine sheen of sweat had started to cover her chest and neck, the tiny droplets glittering like jewels on her skin; her cheeks flushed dark enough that even he could see in this minimal light. Shepard writhed in anticipation; she was on the verge of begging. Kaiden had the anxious hands of a man who needed to be in control, but he kissed her as if she would break. She withdrew her haste, softly running her hands along his arms and chest in an effort to be comforting as he stared down at her.

“I…”
“You don’t have to…” Shepard insisted quietly, touching her palms to either side of his neck to keep him from looking away. She knew what he wanted to say, and it
wasn’t necessary.

He fell silent, the debate still lingering in his expression, and Shepard lifted her hips against him. The distraction was successful, and he groaned before rotating downwards. They finally came together as he pushed inside of her slowly, reveling in the tightness, the warmth. Shepard fought to relax, to memorize how he felt inside her again. It had been so long.

Once fully seated Kaiden stopped, held as long as he could, their breathing heavy. She was still holding his eyes, her face twisted in ecstasy, and he lost it. They crashed together, teeth and tongue battling as he began to thrust in earnest. Lifting her legs to press her heels into his thighs Shepard moaned unabashedly, her world rocking around her. This was what she needed, not just a night of heavy drinking, not a fling with a stranger, Kaiden made her complete again.

His pace became erratic; breaking away from her kiss he lifted himself to his hands for better leverage and found her staring up at him. Her eyes, those gorgeous ice blue depths liquid and shimmering passionately, saw only him. His stomach tightened as she curled upwards, lips caressing his chest and he dropped his head to her hair.

“I’m not going to last much longer…” He admitted quietly, and Shepard’s hold
tightened.

“Neither am I.” She answered, voice strained and husky, breath hitching with every thrust.

Twisting his fingers into the hair at the nape of her neck he lifted her face to his, needed to kiss her as his climax rolled up on him. He’d had every intention of pulling out due to the lack of protection they were using, but Shepard was faster and tightened the circle her legs made around his waist. He couldn’t fight her hold, didn’t want to, and pushed as deeply as he could, her body wracked with spasms as her orgasm hit her not a moment before his.

Weakness hit both of them immediately following, the alcohol and the exertion catching up with them too quickly for Shepard’s tastes. Though Kaiden felt as if he would crush her, Shepard pulled him back down to lay on top of her and held him tightly, not wanting him anywhere else. The sweat on his back was cooling as she ran her fingers gently along his spine, feeling the goosebumps rising in their wake, his chest expanding rapidly to catch his breath.

“I never thought…after everything that I said, you would ever be here, in my arms again.”

He shifted when she didn’t respond, raising his head to look at her. She was smiling, her talented hands still playing on his back, and he quirked an eyebrow.

“It’s the only place I’ve wanted to be since I woke up.”

The warmth that touched his chest wasn’t from their recent activities, the pain that had gripped him so hard since she died was gone, his shoulders felt lighter and his head clear. Shepard was looking at him intently, but she wasn’t waiting for anything, she was perfectly content to lay here for the rest of the night, with him still inside her. He let the silence stretch, before placing a very soft kiss on her temple and, gathering her in his arms completely, rolled to his back so that she lay atop him.

Sleep claimed them both not moments later.

~*~

One more chapter to go, sit tight, it might take a minute...