Devil May...Moan?

I was a fool. An idiot who didn’t deserve to live or call this planet home. Yes I said it ladies and gentlemen, the great Dante has admitted to his shortcomings and is giving up the good fight.

Okay so I’m not giving up, but damn if it wasn’t tempting. The woman that stalked back and forth in front of my desk was anything but inviting and her bitingly sarcastic remarks were starting to wear on my nerves. I’d already agreed to help with Apostolos so why was I getting the third degree…for the third time this evening? It was a question I would have liked to have answered, but the only one who could give me that answer was currently trying to rip my head off with words.

“Do you ever shut up?” The question forces her to pause in her tirade and she turns to pin me with an icy glare. “For your information, Mr. Macho Devil Hunter, you are facing something that is half indestructible and half invincible, do you understand what that means?” she growled.

“Yeah, more fun for me.” She rolled her eyes and pushed my own booted feet off of my desk to replace them with her finely shaped rear. “Wrong, jackass. It means that if we can’t destroy him then no one can. I thought you would be a great addition to this team seeing as how you’re the great son of Sparda and all, but you seem to be lacking one key ingredient. Brains.” The insult was snarled with the most amount of contempt she could possibly put into her words and had she been anything other than human I would have suspected her to start breathing fire any second.

“Look babe, there isn’t anything I can’t handle and some freak who thinks he’s invincible isn’t going to bring me down. I’ve been to Hell and back and I’ve fought some of the nastiest shit in the world. There isn’t anything this bastard could do that would make him look like anything more than a punk.” She looks taken aback for a moment before that familiar sneer turns her lips up. “And you getting pinned to the ground by your own sword was what, a normal greeting for you? Give it up, jackass, you’re not as bad as you think you are and that just means that the rest of us are going to suffer for your mistakes.”

Now that hit below the belt. “I could handle him by myself with one arm tied behind my back. He just caught me off guard.” It sounded lame, even for me, but she seemed satisfied that I knew what we were going up against because she stood up and sauntered away from my desk, an angry sway to her hips that almost had me drooling. “I’m going out for a while, I need to clear my head and do some thinking. Think you boys can get along long enough for me to do that?” she asked, tossing me a scathing look before turning a slightly less biting look towards Riddick.

“I think Dick and I will be fine. Run along mother hen while us helpless little eggs do some male bonding.” She looked less than pleased at my sarcastic remark before she turned and disappeared out into the rain outside.

Letting my head fall back I give Mr. Stoicism a sneering once over while he continues to lean against my back wall, looking totally unaffected by anything that had transpired between Kira and myself. “What, no goodbye kiss? No heartfelt goodbye? Shouldn’t you treat your girlfriend like a normal person?” He gave me no answer.

I swing the chair around to face him, grinning broadly as I kick back and stretch out. “Come on Dick, talk to me here. I’m lonely.” Still no answer. “You’re a dull one aren’t you? What, can’t speak unless you’re in the heat of battle? Or do you need your girlfriend to loosen you up? Speaking of which, is she as hot of a piece of ass as she looks?” His shoulders tensed and he raised those dark goggled eyes to me. I can feel the heat of his gaze and the thought makes me smirk. “Ah, finally hit a nerve did I? Come on, Dick, tell me what it’s like. You can’t leave a fellow guy in suspense here, especially when I haven’t been laid in a while.”

A tick starts in his jaw and the muscles in his arms flex slightly. Everything about this guy was carefully contained violence. Not only did he look like he benched small Toyotas for his personal workout, but he had the perfect stoic attitude to go with it.

“Just one little word…please, come one man, don’t make me beg. Is she tight or has she been around the block a few times?” I waggled my eyebrows at him, smirking slightly to add emphasis. “Is she a screamer? Oh I bet she is. With how fond she is of giving me a good tongue lashing I bet she wails with the best of them doesn’t she?”

The tension in his shoulders increased and I watched in fascination as he channeled all that anger and irritation away, forcing himself to stand still. “Does she like to take control? I’ll be she does. She’s too dominant to let a guy bend her over.” I pause to groan appreciatively at the new images assaulting me. “I can just see her climbing on top and ridin’ me like no one’s business…and man, that chest! I’d really like to get a hold of those bad boys. She’d have me panting in two seconds flat! Though she does seem like a bit of a wild cat, I bet she puts up a struggle at first doesn’t she? Have to toss her around a bit before she’ll let you-” My words cut off abruptly as strong hands grip the front of my newly acquired shirt and jerk me to my feet.

I didn’t appreciate just how big he was until that moment. He held me off the ground effortlessly, as if I weighed no more than a cardboard cutout. The goggles were gone and those strangely iridescent eyes bore into mine with such dark intent that it sent a shiver down my spine. “Hit a nerve did I?” I murmur and his eyes blaze angrily before he turns and slams me into the wall. Dust and dirt from the cracks in the ceiling rain down over my head as he gets up into my face. His lips pull back into a vicious snarl and for a brief moment in time I looked into his eyes and glimpsed the animal he kept caged.

It was nothing like the demon I held within me that I could control and use for my own purposes. It was a caged animal, vicious and blood thirsty. A beast that would kill without discrimination. It was a monster that he lived with, a delicate balance he preserved with steady stoicism and, more than likely, daily battles to assuage the beasts thirst for violence. And for a brief moment I actually feared that he might rip me to pieces and leave me bleeding on the floor while he stood over me, staring at my bleeding corpse as if he cared nothing for the life he had taken. The thought was a sobering one and I gave him my best blank stare. I would fight him if he wanted to fight because no way was I going to end up like some chunk of meat that wouldn’t even leave anything to identify me by.

But as the seconds ticked by he simply held me there against the wall, his breath scorching my lips and his strange iridescent eyes pinning me just as easily as his arms held me pinned to the wall.

I could feel my demon stirring from the tension and the worst part, was that my body was starting to react to the danger level of the situation. I’d always been a junky for danger and fear, it was like an aphrodisiac for me and it did not discriminate. I could be facing the fuckin’ ugliest demon in the history of demons but if he was scary enough to get my pulse racing it was enough to get my blood flowing directly to my groin. And though Riddick wasn’t ugly, he certainly wasn’t a woman so the response was a bit unnerving and I couldn’t help but squirm. I so didn’t want to be here right this second.

His eyes narrowed and somehow I knew that he knew. His eyes closed briefly and he sniffed at the air as if he could actually smell my desire. Those cold, reflective eyes snapped open once more and pinned me with a gimlet stare. “You will stay away from Kira.” he growled in that low rumbling voice of his and all I could do was nod.

His grip tightened briefly on my shirt before he let me go. I slid down the wall and landed awkwardly on my feet, stumbling away from the wall slightly. He gives me his back and stalks towards the couch against the opposite wall, pulling his goggles down as he went.

Feeling shaken and embarrassed at being scared I jerk my chair upright and drop into it with a soft huff of irritation, kicking back and propping my feet up on the desk. He drapes himself over the couch, his long legs stretching out to prop his feet up on the opposite armrest while his arms fold behind his head like a makeshift pillow. I had to wonder if it was too late to back out of this screwed up deal or not.

Rolling my eyes in frustration I kick back and close my eyes, gritting my teeth against my embarrassment. It is silent again except for the rain pelting the roof so when he speaks it startles me into nearly toppling over backwards out of my chair. “Take care of that problem. I can smell you all the way over here.” he growls and an indignant blush creeps into my cheeks. So he really could smell the fact that I had a raging hard-on at the moment…the thought was creepy as hell.

“No can do, Dick. I don’t think I want you listening to me jack off in the bathroom. That may be how you get your jollies off but I don’t want any part in it.” The insult rolls off my tongue so easily that I momentarily forgot who I was talking to and for a second I tense up, expecting him to jerk me out of my chair again.

But with his next words, I almost wish he had jerked me out of my chair and shook me a bit. “There ain’t nothin’ wrong with voyeurism. But if you don’t take care of that problem I will. I’ve got a sensitive nose and I don’t need your horny ass stinking up the place.” he growled.

Me being the smartass that I am, I couldn’t help my next comment. “Wow, that’s the most I’ve heard you say since I met you, Dick. You trying to sweet talk me into giving you a show big guy?” The moment I said it, I wished I hadn’t. I didn’t want to know if he really did want to see me jerk off, the thought was disturbing at best, but even as I thought it my cock gave an interested twitch.

Oh fuck no. I was not interested in having some psycho mother-fucker watch me beat off just so he could nap a little easier. This was just the result of getting a little adrenaline rush and having no one around to help me with my…problems. I was just lonely, that was all. No way some psycho asshole could interest me, it was just the adrenaline.

There was a firm knock on the door and I jerked upright, giving thanks to whatever gods were listening for the distraction. Striding across the room I pulled the front door open to find a delivery boy on my front step holding several large pizza boxes. The scent of fresh pizza made my mouth water and I took the outstretched boxes with glee. “Let me guess, put it on your tab and you’ll pay it off at the end of the month?” the young man answered in a dry, monotonous tone.

Smirking, I shut the door in his face and turn for my desk. He knew the drill and I didn’t have time to stand around while my pizza’s were getting cold. Placing them both on the top of my desk reverently, I open the lid of one box and grab a slice. “Ugh! Those bastards! They put olives on it anyway.” I was almost tempted to step outside and beat the living daylights out of the delivery boy but it wouldn’t do me any good to shoot the messenger…literally. And besides, I was starving and the pizza was right here. Couldn’t let a perfectly good pizza go to waste could I?

Taking a bite I nearly moaned as the cheese melted on my tongue and the smooth sauce mingled with the taste of freshly baked crust. I could live with the olives stinking up my pizza, it’s not like they tasted horrible or anything, I just liked my pizza to have a certain appeal. The delicious circle was crafted specifically to entice the senses and I expected to be able to enjoy it as such.

I was startled out of my near orgasm by a gruff voice in my ear. “Do you always get hard over pizza?” I swiveled around to face him only to wish I hadn’t. He wore a small mocking smirk that made my blood boil with anger. So fucking what if I liked pizza enough to get excited about it? It’s what happens when you’ve got nothing else to occupy your time but fighting demons all the time.

The bite of pizza that rested on my tongue now was tasteless and dull and I could have punched him in the face for it. How dare he ruin this perfect moment? Swallowing the piece of lead, I give him the death glare he deserves and drop the slice back into the box. “I really fucking hate you.” I grumble and he gives me a blank stare before reaching into the box and taking a slice of pizza.

He removes his goggles and in the darkness of the room his eyes are bright and chilling. I’d never seen eyes that could be so fucking creepy. They belonged on a cat, not a man. Then of course there was the question as to whether this guy was actually human or not. He looked human enough. But then again, so did I. Not everyone would guess that I hold something inside of me that isn’t human at all and the brief glimpse I had into his eyes was enough to cinch the idea for me. This guy wasn’t human.

The question is past my lips before I can stop myself and I have to grind my teeth in irritation for letting myself act like such a girl. “Were you born with those eyes?”

Said eyes turn slowly in my direction and I freeze under their calculating weight. Like I really expected him to answer the question? But much to my surprise, he lowered the slice of pizza from his mouth and gave me a curious look. “I got locked up in triple max security slam. They told me I’d never see daylight again. Taking that as a hint, I dug up a doctor and traded with him to give me these eyes. Never had a problem with the dark since then.” He growled. I realized then that he wasn’t in a perpetually pissed off mood, his voice was just too deep not to sound like he was growling every time he speaks.

He seemed to take my silence as meaning I was done and raised the pizza to his lips, biting the tip off and chewing thoughtfully. He swallowed and wiped his lips with the back of his hand, glaring at the pizza almost curiously. “What do you call this?” He growled quietly and I had to answer him with a smirk. “It’s called pizza, Dick. Where are you from that you’ve never had the food of the gods?”

He gives me a withering glare and I return it tit for tat. “I’ve never been to Earth.” he states with a note of annoyance in his voice. “This backwater rock never interested me.”

Never…been to earth? “Whoa…wait a minute, are you saying…you’re not from Earth?” Okay, I was a half demon born of a full demon and a human. Nothing should have surprised me, but for some reason, the idea of aliens still made me laugh.

“Oh god, you’re really here to abduct me and take me away to your spaceship to do experiments on me aren’t you?” I suppose I deserve the glare he gives me and some part of me is actually relieved at his anger. But this still didn’t make any sense.

“If you’re an alien from outer space, what are you doing on Earth fighting demons?” The question seems to confuse him but I don’t have the courage to laugh at him for it. “Kira followed your ‘demon’ here on a bounty. I came along because this guy is wanted all across the galaxy, every planet we’ve passed has postings of a reward for his capture. They’re willing to pay for him dead or alive.”

Man, this Apostolos guy must really be something. “Is he really that bad?” Again, that withering glare. I was starting to feel like a two year old getting scolded for asking questions and that was starting to piss me off. “When I fought him earlier,” he started, looking peeved at having to explain himself, “I could see his similarities to you, but he’s not just from Earth. He’s part Furyian as well.”

I give him a confused expression and heaves a long suffering a sigh. “I’m a Furyian. Now imagine a bastard with your powers and my strength.”

Fuck…we were in trouble. But just the thought of how strong this mystery demon was made my pulse speed up and got my adrenaline pumping. This was one hell of a fight we were getting ready to walk in to and I couldn’t help the small sliver of excitement that crept up my spine. His snort of disgust drew me back from my musings and I glare at him. “What?”

“You’re hard again.”

“Eat your fuckin’ pizza, Dick.” I grumble and stalk around my desk to drop into my chair. This was going to be a long night and we had lots of ground to cover tomorrow. If I didn’t get to enjoy my pizza I’d be damned if I didn’t get to enjoy a bit of peaceful sleep.

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Okay so I lied, there was a Yaoi-ish scene there but I really couldn’t resist. Besides, I’m pretty sure this story is getting a little dull without a few interesting scenes to spice it up^^ Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and please review!