Light Within

I do not own ToS or any of the characters depicted here

-

Zelos crept out of the Desert Rose hotel in Triet. After everything that had happened lately, he needed to clear his head a bit. He was certainly glad that Mithos was gone, but somewhat unnerved by the thought that the group would keep visiting him, forcing Zelos to pretend that he was okay in his presence. He wandered to the edge of town, breathing in the cool night air of the desert.

Suddenly a hand came over his mouth and grabbed and twisted one of his arms.

Zelos, shocked, struggled against his captor wildly, close to panicking. He tried to twist around and see who it was that had accosted him.

Something hit the back of his head, just hard enough for him to lose consciousness.

-

Sometime later, Zelos slowly awoke. Moaning in pain, he fingered the bruised spot on his head, wincing as stabbing pains lanced behind his eyes. "Ow..." he groaned, then opened his eyes. He was in a dark cave, lying on what appeared to be a small cot. He peered into the shadows around him, trying to see if his captor was nearby.

A small fire was crackling near by. A person in sat just out of the lights edge, poking the fire slightly.

Zelos sat up, trying to see better. "Hey," he called out to the figure, whose features he couldn't quite make out through the shadows, "What's going on?"

"Awake finally?" A very familiar voice said.

Zelos stilled. "You know," he told Kratos after a moment, his tone deceptively casual, "if you wanted to talk to me, you could have just asked."

"Would you have come?" Kratos asked.

Zelos shrugged, "Hard to say at this point. I'd have been in a better mood, though. Head injuries make me cranky."

Kratos looked at him. "We need to discuss your groups movements."

"You want to know what they're up to, too?" Zelos asked resignedly, "Next I'll be getting calls from Martel. Don't you Seraphim ever talk to each other?"

"No, I know what you're doing. I want you to stop." Kratos said, a cold seething in his voice.

"And what makes you think I can make them stop?" Zelos retorted, “What do I tell them? 'Sorry, guys, but Kratos kidnapped me and told me you need to stop, and I know he's been your enemy, but I really think you should trust him now.' They'll have me locked up somewhere.”

Kratos sighed. "I'm not sure Zelos, but it has to stop before something happens that none of you can undo."

Zelos looked at him oddly. "It'd help," he said, "if you could convince me that they are not, in fact, doing the right thing right now. What makes you think the effects of this will be bad?"

"I'm not certain in my thesis yet... however if this continues something may happen that could end up destroying the planet." Kratos said.

Zelos gave a low whistle, "That bad, huh? I guess I can try to slow them down, make them look at what they're doing... but I really don't think I'll be able to convince them to stop entirely. Lloyd's too stubborn for that."

Kratos sighed exasperated "Yes, I know."

Zelos smirked a bit, then sighed. "So, is that the only reason you brought me here, wherever 'here' is? The others will be worried if I'm not there in the morning."

Kratos nodded. "I am aware of that, which is why I'm glad you decided to wander off in the middle of the night."

"Heh," Zelos chuckled humorlessly, "I should really know better than to do things like that, huh?"

Kratos sighed. "Yes, now especially that Yggdrasil has wandered off..."

"Wandered off?" Zelos said, suddenly nervous, "You mean he's not at Altessa's anymore?"

"...Altessa's?" Kratos asked in a confused tone.

Zelos blinked. "Oh, you meant he's not on Derris-Kharlan. He joined with our group for a while after Ozette's destruction. We left him in the care of a dwarf who lives in that area. The others don't know who he is, and I couldn't tell them without losing their trust."

"...What!?" Kratos shouted, taking on a very pale shade. "H-How long..."

Zelos thought back, "It's been a couple weeks, I think," he replied, looking away in an attempt to hide his memory of the distress he'd felt at having Mithos so nearby.

"...I see..." Kratos said, taking a very shaky breath. "Do they visit him often?"

"Not too much, I suppose," Zelos told him, "More than I'd like, but that can't be helped."

"I see..." Kratos said, a shake of his head. "...He hasn't... done anything has he?"

"Threatened me with violence once, briefly, but to be honest I was provoking him a bit," Zelos admitted, "Other than that, nothing. Callous and cruel as ever."

"That... is good to hear." Zelos may have been mistaken, but it almost looked like Kratos' body shook with relief.

"You okay, man?" Zelos asked, a bit concerned. It almost sounded as though Kratos was as upset as Zelos himself was over all this.

"That miserable bastard would try to strike me in the only place I'm weak..." Kratos said with a glare.

Zelos nodded in understanding, "Hey, man, Lloyd's safe. I've been keeping an eye out for him, since I'm the only one that doesn't trust Mithos, 'cept maybe Noishe. And he's always with the others." Small consolation, Zelos knew, considering Mithos' power, but it was all he had to give.

"Thank you Zelos." Kratos said, eyes shining with the depth of gratitude he felt.

Zelos shifted, a bit uncomfortable, "Hey, man, not like I could do anything else, after all that both of you have done for me."

Kratos merely nodded. "So then, I suppose then... ah." Kratos shook his head. "I am unsure... what to do..."

Zelos looked around at the walls of the cave, "Where are we, anyway?

"On the outskirts of the desert." Kratos told him.

Zelos nodded, "And I was out for how long?"

"Twenty minutes." Kratos answered.

"So I don't have to head back yet," Zelos said. For some reason, he felt more secure here in a cave in the middle of nowhere with Kratos for company than he had felt for weeks.

"Not if you don't want to," Kratos answered, giving him a puzzled look, "But I was under the impression you'd rather gag than be around me."

Zelos shrugged, "Well, maybe I've changed my mind a bit. ...It's nice to not have to pretend."

"Then you still have nightmares?" Kratos said in a softer voice.

Zelos nodded, "Yeah. I don't wake up screaming so much anymore, but... some nights, I hardly sleep at all."

Kratos sighed. "It must be difficult trying to hide that from Lloyd and the others."

"I couldn't, for the first week or two," Zelos told him, "They finally made Sheena go on a date with me so she could try and figure out what was up."

Kratos laughed, though there was little humor behind it. "That must have been a blow to your ego."

"What, that Sheena wouldn't go out with me unless they made her?" Zelos smirked, "Not so much; I know how she feels about me. She's too honest, and she can't stand how much I'm not. Not her fault. Anyway, I managed to throw her off by pushing the right buttons. It was a bit harder to make Lloyd go away, mind you."

"That's Lloyd..." Kratos said with a small smile. "Just like Anna."

Zelos forced a small smile, "Yeah, he's persistent. And after that, we sort of got swept up into things, and I was getting a bit better... and then there was Ozette."

"Mithos has been trying to stop me. He thought if he destroyed Ozette I wouldn't be able to get the sacred wood." Kratos said with a growl.

"Wait, what? You mean that was about whatever it is that you're doing, and not about Altessa at all?" Zelos asked, "The others are convinced that it's because of the dwarf living near there. He ran from Cruxis, then helped Rodyle with the Angelus Project in exchange for his continued secrecy. He thought Cruxis attacked Ozette because of all that."

"That may be part of it, though only slightly." Kratos confessed. "His major goals were stopping me and, as far as I can tell, infiltrating your group."

Zelos grimaced, "Well, he's certainly done that effectively. Genis isn't going to take it well at all when he betrays them."

"If he doesn't decide to just kill you all." Kratos said with a sigh.

Zelos shivered. "I think killing us all would be merciful compared to what he *could* do," he pointed out.

"Don't even suggest it." Kratos said with a glare. "I have first hand knowledge to Yggdrasil's many 'punishments'."

Zelos blinked at him, surprised by this sudden revelation. "Kratos," he murmured.

Kratos suddenly froze, then cursed himself in all languages at the level of his stupidity.

"Hey, it's all right," Zelos said, trying to sound soothing, "I'm not about to tell anybody."

Kratos sighed heavily, "Gods damn it..."

Zelos remained silent, not sure what to say. Clearly, Kratos had had much more opportunity to displease Yggdrasil than Zelos would ever get... he'd surely suffered far worse than what Zelos had endured. Quietly, Zelos slipped off the cot and moved to sit beside the campfire, wincing a little as the pain in his head flared up with the motion.

"I never wished that upon anyone else." Kratos said quietly, glaring at the fire.

Zelos nodded, "I know," he said softly.

Kratos chuckled, no humor in the laugh. "I think he has a thing for red heads."

Zelos shivered and made no reply; he didn't want to think about what that could mean for his future.

"I will keep him from you Zelos." Kratos promised. "I will not make you endure that another time, not if it is my power to change. Though you'll have to keep yourself from angering him."

Zelos looked at Kratos with wide eyes, stunned at the magnitude of that promise. "Kratos... I..." he started, and couldn't finish. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what that meant for Kratos. How many people could one man protect without breaking? "Thank you," he finally finished, feeling tears of gratitude spring to his eyes.

Kratos looked a little shocked to see tears in Zelos' eyes, and gingerly he lifted a hand up and gently wiped away the tears.

"It is not something I would wish on anyone..." He commented quietly

Zelos found himself leaning into Kratos' gentle touch ever-so-slightly as the older man wiped the tears from his eyes. He held Kratos' gaze. "Nor would I," he responded in the same tone, "I... don't want you to get... hurt... on my account."

Kratos smiled. "Then let us both help Lloyd stop Yggdrasil from hurting either of us."

Zelos smiled back weakly, and nodded, "Yeah." Then he winced a little; his head still hurt a bit.

Kratos chuckled, the sound not nearly as dry as it was before. "I think I may have hit you a little to hard." He said then used first aid to heal him. "Forgive me."

Zelos shrugged it off, "It's all right; you gave me worse sometimes back when you were training me. Thanks for the heal, though."

"Those were a part of the training." Kratos scoffed.

"I know," Zelos countered in a bantering tone, "That doesn't mean they weren't injuries." He gave just a hint of a genuine smile.

"Yes but I healed those as well. I healed all of your injuries, whether I caused them or not." Kratos said, smiling back slightly.

Zelos' smile grew wider, and softer at the same time. "I remember. Thanks."

"I didn't mind at all, though your whining to this day still drives me insane." Kratos said with a sigh.

"Wait a minute. You're telling me you weren't there already? Coulda fooled me," Zelos replied, grinning.

Kratos growled at Zelos. "You are not nearly strong enough to be throwing around those insults."

Zelos smirked playfully, "I call 'em like I see 'em, old man, nothing more."

"You'll be calling something..." Kratos said with a low growl.

Zelos smirked at him, "You gonna make me?" There was a look in his eyes that was almost contented; he hadn't realized how much he'd missed this over the last five years.

Kratos glared at him, though none of the usual venom was there. "Draw your sword."

Zelos got up, drawing his blade as he did so. "Look out, old man, I've been doing a lot of fighting lately. I might just surprise you."

"I doubt it..." Kratos said, drawing his own blade at a leisurely pace and starting to circle Zelos.

Zelos assumed a defensive position, eying Kratos warily as he turned, looking for an opening.

"You still keep yourself to widely open." Kratos commented.

"How so?" Zelos questioned, a bit concerned despite himself.

"You hold your sword to far out and to loosely, how are you expected to hold up a heavier sword aimed at your head?" Kratos asked.

Zelos changed his stance and grip a bit. "Better?" he asked. Truth be told, part of him still longed to impress his old teacher with his skills.

"A bit, now let's see you in action. Come at me." Kratos challenged.

Zelos charged forward, swinging his sword toward what he thought might be a weakness in Kratos' defenses.

Kratos blocked, bringing his sword up in an arc.

Zelos fell back a bit, pacing a little as he looked for another opening, then charged again. This time, though, as he neared the other swordsman, a small, flat pebble that Zelos hadn't seen slipped from under his foot at exactly the wrong moment. He lost his balance and, barely managing to get his sword out of the way, crashed into Kratos, sending both of them tumbling to the floor.

Kratos grunted as they hit the ground. After a moment he raised his head to see if Zelos was alright. "Chosen?”

"Augh. Sorry, sorry," Zelos muttered. He couldn't believe he'd made such a stupid mistake.

"Fine... but you're hand is on... my, uh..." Kratos blushed lightly. "...could you remove your hand?"

"Huh?" Zelos asked, still a bit disoriented, then, "Oh! I, uh, sorry, I..." he blushed scarlet, quickly moving the offending hand and getting up.

“Thank you...” Kratos muttered. “Perhaps... I should return you to your lodgings...”

Zelos sighed just a little. "I guess so," he said, "It's getting toward morning, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry... I kept you up..." Kratos apologized.

"No, I would have been up anyway. I should be thanking you, really," Zelos replied, "It was certainly a better way to pass the time than sitting by myself and moping around all night."

"I hope your dreams will be cleared of those thoughts for a while." Kratos said.

Zelos tried to smile at him, "Me too. Thanks... for everything."

“I kidnapped you, I don't think you need to thank me so graciously.” Kratos replied.

Zelos shrugged, grinning just slightly, "Well, it's not often a kidnapper is so gracious, now is it?"

Kratos allowed a smile to tug at his lips. “Certainly chosen. Now I think I returned you back.” He summoned the mana inside himself and teleported Zelos back to his room.

Zelos lay down on his bed with a contented sigh, slipping off into a - for once - dreamless sleep.

-

Yggdrasil was not pleased. Not pleased one bit. It seemed his suspicions of Kratos were true. Kratos... that fool, had been leaking info to Lloyd's group. Yggdrasil turned a sharp corner to the holding cells. He would speak with the human personally on the matter.

He entered the room to where the human was shackled to the wall. He floated to him growling. "Foolish human." He slapped the man hard enough to knock him into consciousness.

Kratos groaned, his head aching and ears now ringing. Slowly, he opened his eyes, to see a very angry Yggdrasil standing before him. "Lord Yggdrasil," he managed, "to what do I owe this... unexpected pleasure?"

“Do not act coy with me human, you know very well why you are here.” Yggdrasil said icily.

Kratos knew, in fact, of several possible reasons why he might be here. It would be difficult to determine which one, though, without revealing the others. "I see..." he replied.

Yggdrasil glared at the man, eyes burning with anger and deeply troubled expression. It almost seemed as though he were sad about being betrayed. “Do you even want to try to explain?”

Kratos certainly did *not* want to try to explain; he might start giving the wrong explanation by accident. Instead, he hung his head as if in shame over whatever he had done. "There is no point, my lord," he muttered.

“I see... Yggdrasil said with a glare. “So then you betray me to Lloyd... that whore's child?”

Kratos gritted his teeth to keep from shouting in Anna's defense. It wouldn't do any good at this point. He forced himself to respond instead, "My lord... forgive me." For not stopping him millennia ago, when it was still possible.

“You have to earn my forgiveness Kratos, no longer may you simply have it.” Yggdrasil said with a growl.

Kratos shut his eyes tightly, as if by doing so he could deny what was about to happen. But the feeling of the shackles holding his wrists was all too real. He trembled ever-so-slightly, with a mixture of fear and loathing, as he whispered softly, “Yes, my lord.”

Yggdrasil sighed. “You make this so difficult, more than it has to be. My offer still stands. I could make your son an angel.”

“Never,” Kratos replied flatly, his tone almost venomous. The very thought of Lloyd having to suffer life under Yggdrasil's thumb... Preventing that was worth anything Yggdrasil could do to Kratos.

Yggdrasil slapped him. “How dare you human! I gave you the only offer aside from killing him and you have the audacity to throw it back in my face!?!”

Kratos looked downward, refusing to react to Yggdrasil's actions. Nothing he could say now would improve his situation any; best to stay silent.

Yggdrasil growled, knowing the human would simply brush off whatever he had done to him. It irritated him to no end. “Fine then Kratos, keep your silence...” He growled. “Then I will make you scream for death!”

Kratos shivered at Yggdrasil's tone, knowing that he would, but he was far too proud to consider giving the angel lord any of the responses he might want. Besides, Yggdrasil was becoming more and more unpredictable lately... sometimes, Kratos honestly didn't know what would earn him a reprieve and what would enrage his leader further.

Yggdrasil lifted his hand and a spell made quick work of Kratos' clothing. “I will leave you with nothing Kratos, not your dignity, your mind, or even your soul...”

Kratos gritted his teeth, closing his eyes and mouth tightly as if that could somehow afford him some protection. He was trembling slightly now, despite his best efforts; he was completely exposed before a malicious and clever being, a mockery of his old apprentice...

Yggdrasil's hands gingerly ran up the man's front, before find and torturing a nipple into a hardness before bringing his mouth to it and biting it hard enough that is bled.

Kratos writhed, clenching his jaw to keep from crying out at the sensations. Instinctively, he tried to flinch away, but there was nowhere he could move to.

“Your pain is nothing in comparison to my own...” Yggdrasil said with a hate filled glare. “You have inflicted this on yourself.” He said, his hands trailing downward to his navel, playing with it lightly then moving further down.

“You shame yourself.” Yggdrasil said tsking. He grabbed the member, stroking it lightly, touching all the right places. No mater how non-consensual the act, he still knew how to get Kratos' body to react to his touch...

Kratos shuddered with unwilling pleasure as he felt himself hardening despite his position. He wanted to cry out, wanted to plead with Yggdrasil to stop, but he knew such a reaction would only please the sadistic being before him.

Yggdrasil smiled wickedly. “You enjoy that... don't you...” He moved down and licked the twitching arousal. “You enjoy being controlled, being held.”

Now Kratos did cry out, in a mixture of pleasure and revulsion. “You... bastard,” he whispered furiously.

“My parents were married actually.” Yggdrasil said with a laugh, enjoying Kratos' reactions. He took nearly all the member into his mouth, sucking and running his teeth along the sensitive places. He bobbed at a steady rhythm, working his way to a faster pace.

Kratos gasped and squirmed, half-trying to escape and half-trying to thrust into the warm cavern of the other's mouth. He felt ill, revolted by the physical reactions he was unable to control. Finally, cursing softly at his helplessness, he felt himself coming into Yggdrasil's mouth. He hung his head, ashamed, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.

Yggdrasil smirked, licking his lips and leaning up to kiss the man's face. He forced his tongue into the others, effectively raping his mouth. He hummed a delighted note, enjoying the man's taste in both ways. “Do you feel bad about what you receive from me teacher?” He asked using the name he had not called Kratos in a long time.

Kratos' only response was another horrified shudder, as he desperately tried to prevent the tears in his eyes from falling. He wondered vaguely how they had come to this; his only conclusion was that if he had somehow been able to provide Mithos with better guidance, things would be different. In a way, this was his punishment for failing his student so long ago.

Yggdrasil leaned back down, biting his way down to the tortured nub, then kissed it softly. “I think you enjoy it more than you did with your wife.” He said kissing back up to his shoulder. “More than with Yuan...”

Kratos was losing the battle against his tears, as he'd already lost his fight against his body's pleasure; he could feel them tracing two thin, wet lines down his cheeks. “Never,” he whispered furiously, his only feeble defense against the other's foul words.

“Your body says otherwise.” Yggdrasil rebuked, nearly sounding like the fourteen year old that was lost four thousand years ago. He leaned up and licked away Kratos' tears. His hand moved down his own body, going out of Kratos' range of vision.

Kratos hung limply in the chains that bound him. He cursed his weakness on many levels, even as tears flowed freely down his cheeks, but could make no response.

A low moan resonated in Yggdrasil's throat. His face taking on a shade of pink. His other hand played with Kratos' torso and arousal, working him back into a unwilling state of excitement. He bucked at whatever he was doing with himself, another low pitch groan slipping past his lips.

Kratos gasped at Yggdrasil's touch, unwanted though it was. He writhed beneath the other's hand, torn once more between pulling away and pressing into the loathsome, horribly pleasing sensations.

“...Kratos...” Yggdrasil moaned softly. “Hmm...” He hummed, apparently finished what he was doing. He smiled at him before lifting himself up and impaling his body on Kratos' waiting member.

Kratos cried out at the sudden rush of sensation; much to his disgust, the sound trailed off into a moan of pleasure. With an effort of will, he kept his hips still, refusing to thrust into the tight heat surrounding his unwanted erection. Bitter tears still flowed freely down his face; he no longer made any effort to control them.

Yggdrasil groaned, leaning against the body of his former mentor. “Ah... teacher... please... show me love as you once did...” He shivered, his body thrusting against Kratos.

"I cannot," Kratos whispered brokenly, "You are not the boy I cared for." But his control was breaking, his hips beginning to rock forward and backward of their own accord.

“Teacher...” Yggdrasil whimpered, his voice's tone sounding very much like Mithos'. He bucked his hips against Kratos' slight movements, crying out whenever they hit a specific place.

Kratos wanted to protest hearing Mithos' voice in the man atop him, but he couldn't put the words together. He bit his lip to suppress a moan at the sensation of Yggdrasil bucking against him, but finally, he lost the last vestige of control over his body's movements. He thrust fully into his former student's tight opening, and pulling his hips back, thrust again, setting up a swift rhythm.

Yggdrasil cried out every time Kratos thrust into him. “Ah!! Oh...!” He bucked back against him, whining and leaning down and biting into his shoulder to keep from being to loud. “Pl-Please teacher!!”

Kratos cursed softly as he felt his climax approaching. He arched his back as, with one final thrust, he came inside Yggdrasil's body, then slumped in his chains, weeping quietly.

Yggdrasil thrust against Kratos twice more before he came with a cry of his own, a single tear slipping down his face. He leaned against Kratos taking in shuttering breaths before he relaxed completely and looked up at Kratos with nearly hesitant eyes.

Kratos turned away, shamed and broken, unwilling to see his old apprentice's eyes looking back at him from a monster's face. He could feel his tears splashing across his nude body as his shoulders shook ever-so-slightly with suppressed sobs.

Yggdrasil looked sad for a moment before his eyes turned cold. “Pathetic. You're weak, as always Kratos.” He snapped. “I wouldn't hesitate a moment if I could kill you!” He stood up off of him, growling at him. “If I ever hear a breath of your attempts to betray me again I WILL kill your only happiness.”

"I understand, Lord Yggdrasil," Kratos whispered.

Yggdrasil scoffed, cleaning himself up then signaling another angel to do the same for Kratos. He left the man to stew in his self-loathing.

The handcuffs that kept Kratos chained to the wall also kept him from retreating mentally; they were chafing at his wrists, a reminder of his earlier activities. As soon as he was certain he was alone, he wept bitterly, cursing his lack of control, his weakness, and above all the cruel fate that had brought them to this position.