The Inter-Dimensional Courtship of Bowser Koopa

Chapter Three:
Saturday Night Special


The economy suite had managed to be semi-comfortable. Bowser’s sleep had been restless, bringing him awake several times during the night with fears that evaporated the moment he opened his eyes, leaving no trace of their passing.

“I know this will sound odd, but could I get a room very close to the front entrance here,” he had asked the clerk. The otter had given him a look the whole time that seemed to say he expected nothing but just that from a giant, naked turtle monster. Economy was the only kind of room the stolen credit chit from Slippy would allow.

The room ended up being just above the entrance, one floor up. This was fortunate because he had slept through three wakeup calls. It was enough. His exit door waited for him on the left of the main hotel entrance.

“That means they’ve left,” he mumbled to himself, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “Wish I could’ve seen Jill’s rack just one more time.” He had given up after watching after the initial orgasms. No doubt there had been more after he left.

Had he been around to watch them leave that morning, he would have seen Jill and Carlos still glowing, but unsmiling. They were off to catch a boat to France, where they would crusade against Umbrella alongside what allies could still muster the will to fight.

It was obvious that no one else had noticed the storage closet door changing from a metal shutter to a quaint wooden door. Maybe no one cared. As Bowser got close he could see the hinges were not quite touching anything, once again screwing into nonexistent matter. In the lobby a few individuals shuffled about, the service bell on the counter rang out an electronic chime as someone punched it. What would it matter if they saw him suddenly disappear? He’d not likely return.

Completing his hesitation, the koopa king turned the knob and leveraged the door open in one fluid motion. The same, silent darkness waited like a pool of used oil beyond the frame. He heaved into it.

+++

Humanity moved along after the Meteor. Even his friends and former comrades in arms had drifted away on their own courses. A year and one month after Sephiroth’s defeat found Cloud still living a loner’s existence.

He got by on odd jobs. Helping others who occasionally helped him back with gil. Life moved along rather uneventfully. There were still monsters that roamed the land, popping up from mako eruptions. Nothing he couldn’t handle.

But there were times when he could sense an unknown threat waiting around the bend of every day, like a cold draft on the back of his neck, or like mercury seeping into his bones. Nothing could be done about it except to wait for the advent. So he lived life from day to day, working.

When it came time to unwind, the soldier had picked up a new hobby. After just one experience from over a year ago he was hooked. Cross-dressing. Or, to be more specific, bar hopping while cross-dressing.

Shimmying into a dress was like stepping into a new skin. Cloud could be somebody else, be free from other’s expectations. Assuming the name Claudia, most could not tell she was a he until they drew close and remained sober. It wasn’t so much that he was gay or confused about his identity. Far from it. The soldier regretted letting Tifa go. Every time an attractive woman walked by he thought about sex. It was just that he never bothered to pursue a love life. Most of his brain blamed it on Aeris’s death, that he was still coping. The rest of him didn’t buy it.

The night was cool for summer. The occasional current of night air elevated the hem of his new silk dress. Tulip purple, it was his most elegant ensemble yet. Sewn into the bodice were shapes of wild flowers and tall grass outlined in silver threads. Long sleeves widened at the wrists, covering his developed warrior’s hands.

It was going to be a fun night, he could sense that too. The tingle of anticipation dulled the anxiety that had plagued him for months. That alone was reason enough to become Claudia for a night. Something more was coming though. Perhaps he would finally find a release for his pent up sexual frustration.

+++

Bowser waited in the nearby trees, struggling to notch a silver arrow. The tiny stick of wood refused to stay on the bow, dropping into the tall grass where Bowser would have to fish around for a few good minutes to find it again.

When he had finally prepared the weapon to fire, he waited for the target’s approach behind cover. It came soon enough, soft, careful footfalls that hinted at their creator’s wish to not be heard. Bowser shifted to aim and fire. The arrow slipped from the string once again, landing in the exposed roots of the nearby tree.

Bowser swore under his breath, and without thinking, curled the hand that held the bow into a fist. The short bow broke into three pieces with a dry snap.

Bowser swore again, this time in a low, pained voice.

Looked like he would have to wing it from now on.

+++

Lights from the nearest settlement burned on the horizon. They cast a faint blue glow on the thin clouds covering the sky above. In the trees behind a bird called out and went quiet.

Somewhere before him he heard a tree branch snap. His paced quickened. It would do no good to spoil such a wonderful dress. Not after all he had paid for it. Cloud needed to drink and party tonight with the usual guys, and he didn’t want to do so covered in grime. Random battles with monsters are not on the agenda tonight, he assured himself.

Distracted by the visions of the greatest Saturday night ever, the soldier didn’t see the hulking, spine covered shadow leaping from behind a boulder on the path ahead until it was too late. Before the hard edge sword could be half drawn from his back, it was upon him.

One mammoth claw grabbed his sword arm whilst the other produced what looked like a short club from its shell. For a moment, Cloud could see what looked to be a sparkling jewel atop the brandished weapon. Not wasting a second with panic, the soldier kicked hard into the thing’s belly. The creature let out a grunt and an audible curse, chased by hot, reeking breath. It managed to swing its head away from his left hook.

Several words Cloud could not recognize sounded out into the calm night. Continued punching and kicking created no visible signs of distress in his captor, nor a halting of the speech. The words must have been ones of power, for as soon as they stopped the bejeweled rod shimmered.

The last thing the soldier felt was a drugged sleep closing his eyelids.

+++

Cloud came to feeling well rested. As his vision sharpened, a modern city filled his eyes with gritty detail. Two cars going opposite directions cruised past, not bothering to rubberneck the cross dressing blond resting against a garage door. For one terrifying second he thought it was Midgard all over again. He cleared the thought out of his head. Midgard wasn’t coming back, at least not like it used to be.

The night was still cool but the cloud cover was gone. With another start, the soldier beheld foreign stars lit above his head. He was in another world entirely. This did not strike as much fear into him as one might think. He had long heard accounts of such happenings. And in almost every case, a way back existed.

It was then that he felt something in his hand. It looked to be a hastily scribbled note on a paper napkin. It read:

Hello. You’ll want to go into that bar to your left. You REALLY do. For both our sakes. You’ll be home before you know it. Enjoy.

PS: Nice dress.

PPS: You kick like a girl.

The soldier crumpled the napkin and threw it into the gutter. Getting to his feet he could see a squatting brick building next to the car repair he had been set outside of. With a stoic shrug of the shoulders, he drifted over to the bar entrance.

“Lucky Prize” was the name of the bar painted in black letters on a rectangular plank of plywood hanging well above the door. In the two small windows facing the street neon signs advertised alcohol brands. “Fredrick’s,” said one in red and yellow, “Preston,” on another with orange letters. The “n” had burnt out. Cloud stroked the back of his head, trying to remember if he had ever seen these brands before. He decided that he had not.

Past a battered metal door the smell of cigarettes and watery beer spiked into his nose. Floorboards creaked under his army surplus boots, the only part of his usual outfit he kept while in drag. There was a small crowd. Most people make quick eye contact before looking elsewhere. A few jeered and more than a couple of faces revealed interest.

Halfway to the bar counter a heavy hand clasped Cloud’s right shoulder, and squeezed. Turning around he saw that it was just the bouncer, a intimidating, football shaped man in a purple tank top, pointing at the weapon strapped to his back. He frowned for a moment before handing over the hardedge handle first. The bouncer made no comment. He only returned to his seat, placing the sword behind a small counter.

The bar itself was a squat rectangle with the fourth side being the back wall. The walls themselves consisted of peeling dark green wallpaper and grimy wood panels. The soldier took a barstool on the right side of the bar, near the wall, so he could face most of the room at once. Six or so other people, two women and four men, were sitting spaced apart from each other at the three counters. He surmised that this was a place for people who wanted to be alone.

Only one kept eyes trained upon him, a striking blond sitting on the opposite counter. No one looked anything like the creature that had brought him here.

“What’ll it be, Miss?” the bartender asked. The last word had been said flatly, containing neither disdain nor sarcasm.

Cloud was half tempted to order a Preston, but decided against it. “Surprise me. Something mixed.” He reached for his purse. His hand stopped halfway, only to return to cradle his forehead. Gil would be useless here.

“Don’t worry about it. The blond over there’s already covered it.” The bartender nodded back towards the woman who watched him. She smiled, one that revealed no teeth. They made eye contact again. Her eyes were textbook blue, hair coming down straight and long enough to touch the line of a tender jaw.

The woman got up from her stool and walked over to the empty seat next to the soldier. She wore a red garment that looked like a cross between a sports bra and a bikini top. An open green jacket stopped an inch above her belly button—toned belly and sides lay open for all to see. Her six-pack was defined, but feminine. The pants were blue slacks with a sizeable white star in a white circle on one leg. A second belt with empty gun holster hanged lopsided from one hip. It was many sizes too big for her. Intuition told Cloud that it had belonged to her father, or a mentor perhaps?

“Mind if I sit?”

“Go ahead,” Cloud stared. Her ass was as fit as her abs, yet looked to be even plusher than Tifa’s. Lusciously curved thighs begged to be squeezed as they strained against the denim. Barret would say that she was “thick” for a white girl. As fresh saliva flowed into his mouth, Cloud finally understood what that compliment meant.

“Saw you across the room and said to myself ‘self, he looks lonely.’ I come here pretty often. But I’ve never seen you before,” she said, holding out her hand. Cloud shook it.

“Cloud Strife.”

“Mary. Blue Mary’s what most call me. Your drink’s here.”

Cloud picked up the wide glass and took a mouthful on the light blue liquid inside. It was strong, both sweet and bitter.

“I see you ordered the one drink named after me.”

“A Blue Mary? A friend named it that, right?”

“Yep.” Her eyes grew distant for a moment, the fixed on his again.

“I really like your dress. The patterns on the front really bring the whole thing off. Purple is definitely your color.”

“Thanks.” Cloud remained still as Mary reached out to caress his face. The skin of her fingers had toughened, but her touch was gentle.

“You have such a lonely face. Intense too.” Both of her hands cupped Cloud’s pointed chin and pulled his face close to hers. He noticed that her lips were as red as her halter top. It seemed like every color on her body was the purist hue possible. The blues were blue, the reds were red, with no other colors mixed in, compromising things. This was easier to think about than what was happening right now. And what he was going to do about it.

Time ran out. Her lips pressed to his. The smell of her skin, like cherry candy, mixed with the mint liquor on her breath. The scent filled his consciousness until very little else remained.

The kiss ended and eyes locked once again. “Being alone has gotten a little old for me as well,” she said. “I think we need each other’s company in the worst way tonight.” Mary shot a glance at the bulge of silk below Cloud’s waist. With a single finger she traced its arc, barely making contact. “I know it’s kinda sudden-“

“It’s right on time,” the soldier said, feeling his cheeks grow hot. Thinking had pared down to one idea. This was what he needed. She was the person he had sought in all those bars all those nights.

“My place or yours?”

Cloud casually rubbed the back of his neck without thinking to do it. “It’s gonna have to be yours.”

The ride on her motorcycle took about fifteen minutes. Another four minutes to get inside and ride to the fifth floor of her apartment building in an elevator with no walls. The complex wasn’t in the posh part of Southtown, but was well maintained, Mary explained. “I move around a lot. My place is going to be kinda messy.”

Cloud thought it looked empty more than anything. A few dirty articles of clothing lay scattered about. A set of dishes stacked in the sink waited to be cleaned. Her undecorated bedroom held only a scuffed, worn dresser and a thick mattress on the floor. Mary threw her green jacket into the open closet. Cloud leaned his sword (taken back from the bouncer without comment) on the dresser.

A dog with white and brown spots huffed and rose from its bed on the room’s opposite end. It padded forward and sniffed Cloud’s boots twice, pants once. Then it turned to Mary and began to lick her hand.

“His name’s Anton,” she said and gave the dog a good scratch behind the ears. “He must like you. Usually growls at strangers.”

Strife watched Mary lead the dog out of the room. He had never seen its breed in his life. In the kitchen, she threw Anton a jumbo bone shaped biscuit, came back into the bedroom, closed the door.

The two battle hardened blonds embraced. Cloud’s hands jittered up and down Mary’s back, pressing her body into his. The muscles of her back were taunt, soft skin covering still more shapely strength. As they kissed neither opened their mouths entirely. Both sucked gently at the other’s mouth, as if to draw the breath inside into their own. Mary’s hips began to sashay and grind into his erection causing his breath to become ragged.

Mary turned around and lifted her oversized belt over her head to join her jacket in the closet. The belt that held up her pants followed. Her slacks hung loosely to her waist. She backed her ass onto Cloud’s stiff penis and rubbed it around in circles. This slid her pants down further with each stroke, revealing panties that were the same perfect red as her top.

“I’ve always wanted to be done right by guys wearing dresses. By someone who doesn’t look so tough on the outside, for once.” Her voice had grown a husky tone. “I get to be on top when you put that dick inside me,” and she hummed in satisfaction.

“Fine by me. I want you in control. Undress me, please?”

“Not yet, babe,” she shook a finger in mock disapproval. “You look so freaking hot in that thing. I gotta keep you in it as long as possible.” She dropped to her knees in front of him. With eager hands she rolled the lower part of the dress up till the hem was at Cloud’s belly button. With one hand the solider held the fabric out of the way so he could see everything going on. The other hand ran its fingers through her hair.

Mary almost tore Cloud’s black silk panties off, leaving them to crumple over his boots like a fallen flag. He was uncircumcised, the foreskin and shaft a light dirty pink color standing out against pale white skin. She passed her fingers over his pubic hair, savoring the rough feel of it. She took his balls in hand, palming them, running her hardened fingers over their smooth underside.

Mary leaned in between his legs to press her face into the skin behind the scrotum and inhaled the smell of the soldier’s musky privates. This gave him a bird’s eye view of her panties and ass jutting out below and far from reach. He groaned, almost fainting in the heat of the moment.

Mary pulled one testicle into her mouth, then both. Sucking gently she let her tongue roam their underside as she hummed some more. Then she was moving up, placing the tip of his penis on her lips.

Cloud didn’t breathe.

Mary pushed her head forward, letting her lips remain tight on the shaft as it penetrated. This tactic gave him the feeling similar to pushing into a sphincter. She didn’t even grip the base of his penis as her head picked up speed. Bobbing up and down, she made no attempt to fellate him quietly, slurping and smacking her lips. Her tongue slid up and down the penis’s underside just as it had with his scrotum, applying pressure with the middle part of the muscle.

“Mary. It’s lovely.”

Cloud alternated between squeezing his eyes shut with pleasure and looking down to watch Mary eat. The sight of her still fully clothed, breasts swaying in the act made the prickles of ecstasy coming from his penis double.

Mary took him out of her mouth. Her tongue remained extended, a single strand of saliva still bridging to the head of his penis. She grinned with increasing desire, looking the soldier in the eyes once more. Her right hand reached out and milked his member slowly. “Mouth needs a break. Been a while since I’ve gone down on someone.”

Both hands released and unhooked the red halter top, bringing it over her riled hair and tossing it against a cracked wall.

Cloud let out a low whistle of admiration. The breasts on the policewoman’s chest were larger than Tifa’s. The nipples peaked proud and high. Fuller than any he had seen this close. “Impressive, no? They’ll be the death of my lower back one of these days.” She slapped his thigh playfully.

Standing up, Mary parted her tits. “I need you to lick between my boobs till it’s really wet. Snap to it.”

“Yes Sir!” Cloud cupped her soft breasts, placing a thumb on each nipple. He lapped hurriedly. Her skin was a little salty with a hint of sweetness. The smell of the policewoman’s body consumed his brain like before in the bar.

The soldier’s slobbering left the cleavage almost dripping. Before he could put his puckered lips to a nipple Mary was on her knees again. She returned to servicing his member for a few seconds. A delicate moan emerged from her stuffed mouth, as if having a bite of her favorite dessert.

When she had gotten his cock slippery again, Mary pressed her breasts together. Cloud got the point. He clasped his penis and pushed it into her cleavage from underneath. Still plenty wet from his tongue bath, her tits slid up and down his penis easily. They would push his foreskin over the tip on the way up, and expose the now scarlet glans on the way down.

“Don’t even try to hold it back,” she said as they worked.

The tension built in his feet, toes beginning to curl. It ran up his legs. His torso grew rigid with it. Then the knot of delight building in his penis came undone. A low cry and a series of gasps ejaculated from his mouth.

Semen spurts leaped to her neck and chin. The rest rose into a puddle on the top of her cleavage.

Cloud fell to his knees and kissed her deeply.

Afterwards Mary broke off to the bathroom to wipe off. She came back with a warm moist washcloth and wiped off her lover’s retreating cock. “Don’t want to stain that dress of yours.” They exchanged a coy smile.

“That’s nice of you. In the heat of things I wouldn’t have cared about the mess.”

“Don’t mention it. Lets lie down so I can catch up and you can rest.”

The lovers removed their footwear and socks before laying down, face to face, on the futon. Mary took his hand and placed it inside the crotch of her pants with all the tenderness of handling a kitten.

“You shave down there.”

“Every last bit. I wanted to feel simple and clean for tonight.”

Cloud rubbed his thumb back and forth, middle finger pressing through her slit. He traced her lips and jaw with the index finger on his free hand. Mary began to squirm. He slipped his middle and index finger into her vagina. Pushing them up in the direction of her belly, he stroked in quick jerks, hoping to find her g spot.

The policewoman gritted her teeth and grunted, alerting him to the sweet discovery. The soldier laid the pressure on thick in response. She took the finger exploring her face and placed it into her mouth.

Just as Cloud’s hand began to cramp Mary clenched her eyes and gyrated her pelvis further onto the surging hand. Taking the fingers in her mouth out, the policewoman yelled. “Gah! Harder. Jesus, don’t stop. Don’t…” He could see her muscles flex. Then release.

Cloud carefully removed his hand from between her legs. One by one he placed the well-used digits into his mouth, sampling her hot, salty sauce on each. “That made me thirsty,” he propped himself up on an elbow, “I’ll get us something to drink.”

“That’s considerate of you. I’ll take milk.”

The soldier brought back two glasses of milk and a half eaten package of chocolate cookies. They sat cross-legged, eating and drinking. Each focused more attention on the refreshments than on each other.

“Time to get out of these cloths,” Mary said when they had finished. “Good for the skin.”

The policewoman helped Cloud from his one-piece dress. She placed it on a spare coat hanger, not wishing it wrinkled. Turning around, she unzipped her fly and let the slacks telescope around her feet. The primary red panties joined them.

Something about having a naked man just standing there seemed to compel concealment. From nowhere a smidgen of modesty darkened her cheeks. One arm crossed over her nipples, while the left hand covered her groin. Her pose was that of Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus, a painting Cloud would never see. At the outside signs of shyness he lowered his face in a conditioned reflex.

A second later he was on his back with Mary on top.

“Fooled ya.”

Cloud let out a rare laugh. “Should’ve realized by now. You’re too self possessed to be embarrassed by anything.”

“Think you got me figured out, Professor Strife?” her face cooled. Lips pressed into a thin line. “Being left alone eats away inside until it kills you.” Her voice had flattened along with her expression.

“Mary-“

“Got ya again. I’m not that serious.” She chuckled. Cloud wasn’t so sure that was true, but decided to let it pass. Her smile returned quickly.

They resumed kissing as they had before. Mary eventually slid in her entire tongue for the soldier to suck fervently. The only other noise in the room came from the occasional vehicle on the street below. Cool breezes brought the faint smell of ocean salt in from the bay to mix with the musk of their sex.

“Are you ready?” she asked, setting his member straight up with her hand.

“Yes. Take care of me.”

Pink lips bent inward as she lowered herself onto him. When she had taken him to the hilt she withdrew slowly. Lust burned bright in his belly at the sight. Maroon labia minora emerged from the cleft to caress his shaft as she withdrew.

Placing both hands on Cloud’s slim shoulders Mary guided him back in again. By now she was getting wet enough to be free of chaffing. Another retreat and another descent found her setting a steady pace. Two beats. Then one. Then two more.

The soldier supported her ass as she picked up speed, the symmetry of it somehow filling his hands with a sweet ache. Her shorn mound and plush thighs slapped loudly on his milky body. Cloud found his moans were in sink with hers.

Mary stopped her pounding to swirl her hips. “Like this trick ya big sissy? You’re gonna lick me clean, got it?” She began to brush her fingers over her clitoris.

Cloud agreed.

The soldier’s testicles drew close to the base of his shaft, letting him know climax was near. His penis had felt numb inside her vagina when they started. That numbness had given away to a teasing tickle. Now, each stroke of Mary’s created moist shivers of delight. He bit his lower lip and held on for as long as he could.

It was the policewoman who first leapt off the plateau. Her lips spelled out “O,” while pronouncing that same vowel. Her vagina milked his cock.

With both hands still worshiping her ass, Cloud pushed himself as deep into her as their bodies would allow. His entire lower body seemed to spasm. Muscles he never knew existed rippled with delight. With a contented whimper the soldier sprayed Mary’s insides.

Not wasting a second the policewoman pulled herself away from his penis. Loose cum dribbled from her cleft down her left inner thigh. She placed her crotch over his head. Without being told, the soldier’s tongue retraced the dripping cum back up her leg to the doorstep of her vulva. She shivered at the further titillation, sat down on his face.

“Don’t miss a bit of it,” Blue Mary whispered.

+++

Are they done yet? Bowser asked by writing on the Scroll.

Black text appeared. Don’t worry about Cloud’s return home. I’ll take care of that later.

“A break for once. Finally.” What’s next? he scribbled.

The reply floated up onto the yellowing parchment.

Bowser read it, and grinned happily as stars winked in the cloudless night sky.

Cast thus far:
Cloud Strife – Final Fantasy 7
Blue Mary – Fatal Fury