Fleeting

“How did you survive this feeling?!” Nazeera laid miserably in her bed wishing she was dead, “I want to die!” she wailed into her pillow and hid beneath it. Azurelle shook her head at the older woman’s behaviour, was she this bad when she had morning sickness? It was not overly fun to hold her long black hair back while she was sick, but Nazeera had done it for her plenty of times; they both looked up as the door opened and Malik peeked around the door, he blocked being hit by a shoe with the door and muttered to himself, “I don’t care what you forgot! I do not like you anymore! I am never ever ever having sex with you again, you no good scummy…I hate you!”

“That is all well and good but I really need a book, I am sorry you are not well…though it is not entirely my fault.” Azurelle gave him an exasperated look as his head stuck through into the room, he was not saying the correct things and he would only make her angry at this rate, “…it will only last for a few months.” There was a noise from the bed and Nazeera sat up glaring at him with all her might, her lips in a tight line. “Point taken.” He shut the door and retreated without his desired book.

Azurelle made her way to the bed side and sat heavily, really, could her stomach grow any larger? She missed her feet! She didn’t like being the size of a cow either. The older woman regarded her with a hint of worry; Azurelle’s cheeks were rosy and her eyes glassy. Her poor little sister had had a mild fever since the middle of her eighth month and now that she was due at any time it caused concern for everyone – it would not help her to be ill now.

Pulling the girl into a gentle hug, Nazeera frowned unhappily, “how do you feel?”

“I’m scared, I want more time to prepare…I feel terrible, heavy and sluggish. I have barely any energy at all and I’m really nervous about the whole thing! What if something goes wrong? Or I mess up somehow?” she had spoken to the midwife and the woman had told her that she would be fine, it was a large baby compared to her petite size but she would do just fine. Reading through the little diary Maria had left was barely any help – Maria was strong and brave, her birth sounded so quick and easy. And Altaïr was doing his best to ease her fears but he didn’t know what to expect, he was just as anxious and if she was honest, he wasn’t the best kind of person to calm people – killing he could do, scared girls – not so much. “This fever isn’t helping either…where has it come from?!”

“I don’t know, sweetheart. You haven’t exactly had a fantastic time with this pregnancy…one minute you’re pregnant, then you’re not, then you are again, you are on and off with Altaïr, then there was Maria showing up and the thing with Altaïr…”

“I will never forgive myself for doing that – it was weak and stupid and I thought I was better than that!” she pursed her lips, “and Altaïr is a fool for asking me to do it in the first place!” laying down next to her sister, Azurelle smiled as a few thoughts ran through her head. “Hey, Nazeera…thank you.” Nazeera turned her head, what was going on? The girl turned on her side and ran her fingers through her older sister’s hair, “you have always been here for me…no matter what, you have always been with me and I’ve never told you how grateful I am – you have been my mother, my sister and my best friend.” She heard Nazeera sniffle as her arms wrapped tight around her, “and you are going to be an amazing aunt to my baby and I bet you will be the best mother.”

00

Nikil looked at the book in amazement, he had never seen so many different ways to climb a wall and this was only the basic stuff! He looked at Azurelle with a pleased grin, “how did you do all this?”

“My sister and I compiled it, Malik and Altaïr put it in an easy way to understand in this book. It is a thank you for trying to help Hannan that day in the garden and for everything you have done for me – to be honest, I think you have the perfect body type for these methods. You’re a little too old to be part of my lessons when I start.”

“This is…it’s amazing!” he exclaimed he went to hug her but wasn’t sure how to get to her around the bump; she giggled at his problem and simply ruffled his hair. “I have some free time, I’m going to try some of these right away!” the young novice ran from her, his face excited instead of his usual frown and he looked like the young boy he was for once.

A chuckle came from her left; she didn’t even have to look to see it was the Dai by her side. “He seems pleased with it, unless it was just a gift from you he was seeking.” She shrugged beside him, either way the boy was happy and Azurelle could test to see if her future lessons would help the Brotherhood. “He is very fond of you Azurelle; Nikil is such a solemn boy sometimes.”

“He’s just very serious! I think he’ll make a good Assassin, he has a lot of heart…he just needs to learn how to stop before he hits or runs off something.” She turned to Malik and pulled his sleeve, “why aren’t you working?”

“well you see, I got a very difficult woman pregnant and she has become a nightmare in the mornings, foolishly I left some important documents in the room and she will not let me in to get it – therefore I can do now work.”

“You’re skiving then.”

“Yes. Shall we go for a walk?” she laughed at his smug look, he needed a break occasionally and he seemed glad to have a reason to get out of the study – let Altaïr gruel over a desk for once. They set to wandering about the fortress, Malik showing the girl some of the places she hadn’t been to yet and letting her ramble on. She was midway through a sentence when she stopped still and let out a hiss, “are you alright?” she nodded after a minute, complaining that it was just a restless baby and they carried on, the man giving her wary glances every now and then.

Azurelle nudged him gently against his side, “remember when I was ten and I asked if you were Nazeera’s boyfriend?”

He nodded, a smile making its way onto his face, “you said that if I ever made her cry, you would make me pay. I think I laughed at you and you saw fit to kick me in the shin.” They laughed at that memory, it was a long time ago but the man swore he could still feel the pain in his leg, “you were a terrible little girl, but Kadar loved you – if I so much as frowned in your direction he would give me so much trouble.”

She missed Malik’s younger brother, he was always nice to her and no one bothered her when he was around, “he told me that if I didn’t do as Nazeera said, bugs would crawl into my bed at night…I had nightmares for years. But that is not what I wanted to talk about – my threat still stands, I might look small but I have a mean punch.” She shook her fist in his direction. To the Assassin it was almost as frightening as being faced with a newborn kitten, “ha, uncle Malik is going to become baba Malik!”

Malik slowed to a stop, his face creasing as his brain processed his thoughts, “…crap. Altaïr’s son is my nephew.”

00

Altaïr yawned as he sat by his bed side with his little acrobat, her fever had gotten worse and the girl was feeling so drained that it was suggested that she stay in bed. During the last few weeks she had come to his room more often, struggling to sleep in her own bed and without a warm body beside her for comfort, the only touch she allowed him was simply to hold her. Most of the time he lay behind her with his hand stroking softly over her belly and they talked quietly until one of them, usually her, fell asleep. In the last couple of days she’d been struggling to keep her strength up, she had been walking around the fortress with Malik when she suddenly felt faint and the older Assassin forced her to see the midwife. The woman had said it would be bed rest from now on in case she became worse but she still didn’t feel it was a danger – any day now she would give birth and she would feel better.

“Altaïr…I-it’s getting worse.” Her voice sounded pained and he could see it clearly in her face, “it usually stops by now.” She was complaining of the contractions she’d been suffering from for the last few weeks. Only these had gotten longer, were coming steadily and were stronger with each one, they had begun earlier in the day and she had managed to sleep through them until now. “I don’t think this is pretend…”

He stood up and looked around the room helplessly, what was he supposed to do? “Do not move, I will fetch that annoying woman…” he didn’t want to leave her alone but he had little choice when everyone else was asleep. Promising to return quickly, Altaïr dropped a kiss to her head and left the room swiftly. She sat up uncomfortably as she was hit by another wave of pain, how had she slept through these?! She hoped this would be as bad as the pain would get, maybe this would be incredibly easy?

0

Nazeera was wrapped up in Malik’s black robe as she rushed down to the healing rooms, her sister was finally going into labour and she had to be there to support the girl. Malik had said he would keep an ear out for Hannan as Altaïr was already with Azurelle and no one else would be there if the baby woke up. It must have been just past midnight, what a horrible time for the baby to decide he wanted to be born; couldn’t he have waited a few hours until morning? A shout came from the room she was heading for and Nazeera’s heart leapt causing her to run hurriedly toward the lit room. When she arrived, Azurelle looked terrified, “calm down!” came the midwife’s voice, “it was just your waters breaking – nothing to get excited about!” she turned to Altaïr and the man looked down at her calmly, “out. This is not something you can help with, it would be best to go about your tasks and wait for news of the child's arrival.”

“You want me to leave?”

“I have never had a man in this room when a baby is being born – now wait outside like all the others before you.” He was hesitant to let go of Azurelle’s hand, she had held onto him the entire way here and looking down into her desperate grey eyes he did not want to leave her to do this alone. “Oh please, here is her sister! This is women’s work – out!”
Nazeera took his place beside the girl and she smiled at him, she told him everything would be fine and that this was not something Azurelle would want him to witness. But Azurelle looked so frightened – how could he leave her like this, he had promised to stay with her!

She gave him a pained smile as another contraction hit, “I-I’ll be fine…how hard can it be?”

00

By early morning he had had no news, Azurelle was still in labour, he had thought distracting himself with work would help him relax but every passing second had him worried and he was already so anxious. He wasn’t even the one giving birth! Why was he going slowly mad as time passed? Was she coping well? Was she in a lot of pain? How long until he could have his child in his arms? “Relax, Altaïr, there is nothing you can do!”

“Malik, it has been hours! An entire night! Should it really take this long?” he continued his pacing up and down. Occasionally staring at his young son playing on the rug, the boy had been no trouble at all, usually he demanded attention or tried to crawl off down the halls but he seemed to sense his father’s mood and behaved. Altaïr bent down and picked him up, he had not given the poor baby any attention since Azurelle had started her labour, “were you so much trouble when you came into the world?” the baby seemed to ignore him in favour of looking over his shoulder.

“Mama!” Altaïr and Malik looked to the doorway, when had the woman become so good at sneaking around. Maria smiled tiredly from the entrance, her clothing was dusty from her ride home, she looked exhausted and he knew she must have been, it was a long ride from Jerusalem but she seemed thrilled to see her precious son again; Altaïr handed the overly excited baby over to his mother and heaved a sigh of relief – she had come back to him. As she stroked the baby’s head, the Assassin noticed a clean white bandage around her hand.

“Cut myself while putting my horse away…I have just come from the healing rooms actually. Azurelle seems to be struggling.” She watched as Altaïr’s face winced in concern and he began his pacing once again, “she is exhausted and it sounds like she’s ready to give up.” Malik scoffed from the desk, why was she telling him this? Was she trying to wind Altaïr up? Just as he was about to open his mouth and tell her to be quiet; her next sentence stunned him into silence. “I think you should go to her, she needs you more than you think and you always seem to soothe her with your presence – I doubt the midwife will give you trouble as she’s willing to try anything now.”

Altaïr looked at her, his mouth ajar slightly in wonder – Maria wanted him to ignore her and go to the brunette? He had never really pegged the ex Templer as such a soft soul, “…Maria?”

“Bugger off, Altaïr.” She snapped, “Don’t question me just go to her! She’s in so much agony a distraction would do her good!” Altaïr pulled her to him and kissed her mouth, careful not to crush his son in the process before running out and leaving Malik to stare bewildered at the English woman. What had just happened?

0

It had come to the point where Azurelle felt she could no longer push, she had been told to over and over again but nothing seemed to be happening! Was he too big for her to push out? Or maybe Nakim’s wife had been right – she wasn’t made to have babies. Nazeera encouraged her as much as she could but the older woman was tired, her stomach churned with nausea and she didn’t want to see her sister in so much pain. The midwife looked more than annoyed, she was not blaming Azurelle for the problem but the girl had gotten it into her head that this was all her fault and this seemed to intensify the pain she felt. Azurelle was frightened, she was exhausted and no matter what she did it seemed like her baby wouldn’t budge! There was nothing she could be given for her pain that would not hinder her further.

“Come on, you can do this, you are doing so well and I know it hurts but you are strong.” Nazeera could only offer encouraging words to help, “just think, a little longer and he’ll be in your arms – no more barriers between you, skin to skin with your baby…just a little longer.”

“just rest for a moment, sometimes your body just needs to catch up, there is no danger to your baby.” the midwife told one of the other women to get the girl some water and then sighed, she hated these long births and it did not help when the girl was so young! When would they learn to use precautions?! Why did Assassin's always choose such dainty girls to impregnate with their big babies? “…Altaïr, I told you to – ” the man passed her, pretending not to hear her warning and went to the brunette, he stroked her sweat dampened hair back from her flushed face and she opened her eyes in surprise when large hands touched her – too big to be a woman’s touch.

She visibly brightened, reaching shaky hands to grip into his robes, “is he being stubborn? Like his mother?” she breathed out a little laugh at his comment and nodded, “since when did you back down from a bossy male? I have heard you are doing so well, this will soon be over and you will be able to see your feet again.” She nodded again and relaxed a little as he rubbed her stomach in soothing circles.
Upon witnessing Azurelle’s confidence slowly returning, the midwife decided to let him stay – she would make this one exception.

Nazeera held her sister’s hand firmly, relieved that the girl seemed better, her fever had not helped during the entire situation but with the Assassin's arrival things were looking up. Altaïr rubbed the tension from her lower back; his lips resting on her head when he wasn’t talking to her and his free hand constantly stroked her cheek or moved hair from her face. She cried out painfully as her contractions returned vengefully and she was ordered to push again – this time with better results. Had she just been too anxious and frightened before? The older sister felt her hand go numb as it was squeezed painfully hard with each push; she did not envy Altaïr’s robes as she heard the material rip in the acrobat’s grip.

After what seemed like an eternity one of the assistants announced that she could see the baby’s head – it was almost over. Azurelle hid her face in the crook of Altaïr’s should as she felt a horrible burning, tearing sensation, she felt as if she would rip in two and almost screamed. Everything seemed to slow down for her once a different cry was heard, peeking out from the Assassin's shoulder she watched as the women fussed about before she caught a glimpse of the baby – her baby. The brunette looked up at Altaïr’s face and she saw a crooked smile break across his face, his hazel eyes looking with disbelief before glancing down at her matching expression, he couldn’t help himself as he leant down and kissed her lips again and again, she was too happy to protest. Nazeera grabbed her attention and they shared a pleased look with each other, “well done, you have a very healthy – ”

The midwife cut herself off and handed the now clean and wrapped baby to one of the assistants, her eyes suddenly hard as she began ordering the others around, “what is it? What’s wrong?!” Azurelle tried to sit up further and the woman yelled at her not to move.

“You’ve been torn! You will be fine just do not move.”

Azurelle whined, she wanted her baby; she wanted to hold her baby! Nazeera shushed her as she noticed the girl begin to panic, mistaking it as fear when all the girl wanted was the strange woman holding the little bundle in her hands to give her her baby! “Altaïr!” he’d understand, he wouldn’t think her frightened like Nazeera did, and he would get her baby for her. “I want to hold him!” he looked at her with a tinge of worry in his features, the midwife wanted her to lay down and remain still but she fought against his hands as he tried to push her down on the bed.

“I know, let them help you first! I promise you will be the first to hold him but you must do as you are told.” His ears picked up the older woman telling one of her assistants to fetch a doctor immediately before the girl bled to death. The Assassin's head snapped to look at the woman with wide eyes and she sent him a pleading look back – asking for his silence on the matter. Turning back to Azurelle he gave her a tight smile, “he will be in your arms soon.”

“I feel dizzy, Altaïr…what’s – what’s happening?” she took a few deep breaths as she began to feel sick, it must have been exhaustion, she thought. Exhaustion from the long labour and her fever was making her vision hazy around the edges, she looked around the room for the woman holding her child, unable to focus she whimpered miserably, “I want my baby…”

000

Ta Da!