Beautiful Goodbye

Title: Eternal
Author: x-Hitoshirezu-x
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Akuseru (Axel)/Rokusasu (Roxas)
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters in this fic.

Summary: This is alternate universe, as Roxas isn't Sora's Nobody in this fic. Roxas and Axel knew each other when they were living, having been best friends 'til the day they died. It only makes sense that as Nobodies things would be the same, right?

Notes: Axel's name before being a nobody: Lea (lee-Uh)
Roxas' name before being a nobody: Soar (like as in "soaring through the sky")

Song Lyrics: Vienna Teng: Gravity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter Two: Hey Love
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soar woke up, glancing left and then right. Where was he? .... Oh right. He'd died. Sitting up, he made a face. It was dark, or rather, it would have been dark if not for the bright neon lights that surrounded that city. He forced himself up, standing on shaky legs. For a few moments he couldn't walk, almost falling when he tried. His resolve was strong though as he forced himself to take that step. Once the inital step was taken, he was walking with no trouble.

It took him a few moments to realize that he had no idea where he was going, but he was determined. And then when he saw the oh-so-forboding castle, he sensed that that was where he was supposed to be going. If anything, maybe he could get a clue as to where he could find Lea. Anything was possible it seemed with that castle, or at least that's the thought that Soar had in his head.

With that new "quest" in mind, he headed towards the castle at a run. He didn't notice the shadows that moved, or the things that popped up from the ground from the shadows. He was too focused on the castle, and his need to see Lea again. After all, if he'd died and wasn't allowed to see Lea, his heart would break.

After awhile he realized that no matter how hard and how fast he ran, the castle didn't seem to be getting any closer. He frowned, slowing his pace to a jog before he stopped completely. His eyes watered. There was no way he'd be getting any information from that place now, not if it was running away from him like it was.

The realization that he might never see Lea again was slowly setting in, and before he could stop it, there were tears streaming down his cheeks, flowing slowly from his sapphire eyes. He was seperated from Lea, and he was almost sure of that now. A pained sob was wrentched from his lips as he collapsed to the ground just as the rain started to fall. There, Soar cried. His fists hit the ground, body trembling as mud was splashed into his face from the impact of his fist.

Unaware of how long he was there, the tears finally stopped, leaving him cold and empty on the ground. He didn't even notice the figure that was approaching til it was on top of him. He tried to cry out, but before he could make a sound, a hand covered his mouth and Soar went unconcious.

~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey love.
Is that the name you're ment to have?
For me to call?
~~~~~~~~~~~

Lea glanced around his new room. Stark white walls and a single bed. And a door. He didn't know if it was a closet or a bathroom because he'd yet to explore the room further then the cushy bed. At least there was one nice thing about the afterlife. He'd been there for what seemed days, but was really only a few hours. He remembered everything about his death. Walking into the street to grab Soar's teddy bear when it blew away in the wind. Soar's warning scream. The impact.

Soar's scream. It was a sound that he knew would haunt him forever. It was a sound that came too late. Full of so much pain. Love. Loss. And he, Lea, had smiled, as if to reasure his lover one last time. And then he'd found himself wandering in a dark world with bright neon lights. And then not even ten minutes after that, he found himself in this room.

Apparently, he was number VIII in what the other cloaked members called "Organization XIII". Soon after he appeared, numbers IX through XII appeared. He found out that once you became a member of this group, your name was changed to have an X in it. Frowning, he stood.

"Now let's see if I've got this right. Number I: Xemnas, formerly known as Ansem. Not too hard. Number II: Xigbar. No clue what that could be made from...don't think I wanna know either. Number III: Xaldin, . Bin Laden? No, too many letters missing. Number IV: Vexen, formerly Even The Chilly Acedemic. That one was easy. Number V: Laxeaus. Another name that I don't wanna know about. Number VI: Zexion, formerly Ienzo. The Cloaked Schemer. Good kid. And he's just that. A kid. He's about Soar's age, I'd guess..."

Lea trailed off there, his mind drifting towards the blonde-haired boy that he'd left in dying. Before he could get lost, he shook his head, getting back to the task at hand.

"Number VII: Saïx. The Luna Diviner. Odd. That's for sure. Then me. Number VIII: Axel, the Flurry of Dancing Flames. Pretty little weapon that they gave me."

Emerald eyes sparkled as he spun the chakrams around on his fingers, watching as sparks flew from them as they rotated.

"Number IX: Demyx. The Melodious Nocturne. Sexy thing he is. If I wasn't so loyal to Soar I could see myself having some fun in that blonde. Number X: Luxord. Old men like him shouldn't gamble like him. I suppose that 25 isn't too old though. Number XI: Marluxia, the Deadly Assasin. What a FRUITCAKE. His whole demenor just screams "Queen of the Queers". And lastly, our lovely Number XII: Larxene. I'll have to watch out for her and her pet lightning. Scary thing she is."

Lea gave a sigh, flopping onto his back on the bed. Groaning, he glanced to the cieling. He was already starting to miss Soar. Only one day together before they were torn apart. He didn't know what was worse. The fact that he'd told the blonde of his feelings, or that he'd died after telling him. It drove him mad. A snort was driven from him as he sat back up, glaring at the door.

"I'm not stupid. I'd appreciate if you'd just knock instead of standing out there like a moron, Demyx."

A startled chuckle reached his ears, and in the next moment Demyx was standing in his doorway, a limp body in his arms. Frowning slightly, Axel stood and looked at the other Nobody.

"What's that? Or rather, who's that?"

"I found him outside wandering around. Xemnas says he's Number XIII: Roxas. The Duel-Weilding Keyblader."

Demyx moved forward and placed the other on Axel's bed, taking a step back to reveal the mysterious boys face.

At first, Lea was too stunned to say anything, his fingers moving to run over the newly revealed blondes cheek. The touch was like electricity. He sucked in a breathe and gave a soft shudder.

"...how..."

"Xemnas says he died from a breathing problem. Or rather, he commited suicide because he went into an asthma attack and instead of using his inhaler he just, let himself choke to death. The leader said it was rather pretty to watch."

Lea growled, pointing towards the exit of his room.

"Get out, now, blondie before I kick your ass. Leave So---Roxas, to me."

"Hey, hey! Whatever you say, man! Leader-man's gonna come check on him after he finishes setting up his room and what-not."

With that, Demyx bowed with flourish before walking out of the room, leaving Axel and Roxas.

Fingers rose to lightly caress the blondes cheek as their owner frowned. His nose wrinkled as the blonde squirmed, his jade-eyes going wide as they met the familiar sapphire ones of the younger male.

"...Lea...?"

"So it is you, Soar. Or rather, your names Roxas now. C'mon, get up and let me check you out. I guess we were rather lucky that Xemnas decided you should be a Nobody too."

Roxas looked to the red-head, confusion obvious on his features.

"Nobody?"

"S'what we're called now. We don't have hearts anymore, apparently. Stolen by these things called Heartless. It's cool though. At least now we won't feel that annoying pain in the chest."

"What're you talking about? I have a heart!"

Axel shook his head slowly, standing up from the bed, wrapping his arms around the blondes waist, pulling him close.

"Sure you do, Roxas, sure you do."

"My name is Soar! Lea, what's gotten into you?"

The red-head lifted an eyebrow, a smirk crossing his features.

"What're you talkin' about? Your name is Roxas now. Get used to it. And mines Axel. A-x-e-l. Got it memorized?"

Roxas pushed the elder male slowly away, his eyes wide, tears welling up in them as he trembled.

"...how could you change so much in such a short time?"

Axel snorted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I havn't changed. It's you who's changed. Just accept what I say and everything'll be fine!"

"No! I have a heart and my name is So----"

"Your name is Roxas."

Both males yelped, though Axel recovered quicker then Roxas. They lifted their heads to face a tall man with glowing orange eyes and silver hair. He walked up to Roxas, walking around him, smirking lightly.

"I see that he's rather fiesty, eh, Number VIII? Seems to me that you used to know him. I warn you, any feelings that you had for each other when you were alive will soon fade away. With no heart to keep them intact, they'll slip away."

"I already said that I have a heart!"

Xemnas lifted his hand, whipping it across Roxas' cheek, sending the boy to the ground. Axel growled, but didn't make a move to help the blonde.

"Listen, XIII. You are no longer living, your heart has been taken by the Heartless and your name is Roxas from this point on. If you argue with me more, I'll have Saïx teach you a more...perminant...lesson. Do I make myself clear?"

The blonde boy nodded, bowing his head in submission to the obvious leader. Content with this reaction, Xemnas nodded once to Axel, leaving the room with chuckle.

"Roxas, listen..."

"No, it's okay. It's not the same anymore..."

Roxas fled the room, tears streaming down his cheeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~
Look love
They've given up believing
They've turned aside our stories of the gentle fall
~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn't until almost a week later that Axel got to see Roxas again. The blonde and him had been assigned patrol, and whether the blonde wanted to admit it or not, he craved the company of the red-head he still loved. Or believed he loved. After all, he had no heart to love with, right?

"Roxas, c'mon. The superior is gonna get suspicios if you just stand there staring off into space. I know that you don't like me, and I can deal with that, just as long as you don't end up getting hurt because of it."

Roxas flushed, averting his eyes as he snapped from his thoughts. Nodding once, he began to walk away from the castle, his eyes scanning around as he sighed. Patrol was boring, though this was only the second time he'd done it. The first time had been with the sitarist, Demyx, number IX.

The younger boy quickly came to find that Demyx was playful and nieve, or maybe he really was stupid. Whatever he was, he was sure that Demyx was a friend. The elder blonde belived that he had a heart, just like he himself did. That was enough to make Demyx an ally. Now all he had to do was convince Le---Axel, that he had a heart too.

"Hey, you could at least talk to me, Roxas."

"Whatever, Axel. I'm not doing this patrol with you because I want to."

The words were cold as they reached Axel's ears. He frowned. His former lover had turned into a brat in just under a week. Did death really affect someone so much?

"You don't believe me at all, do you, Axel?"

"What? What's there to believe. Xemnas is the one who found us, renamed us, gave us a place to live, and you'd turn around and not believe that he has our best interests at heart?"

"And what makes you so sure that he really cares?!"

Roxas spun on his heel, glaring up at the red-head. His sapphire eyes were filled with pain, longing, and something else that Axel couldn't quite make out. It scared him. There was so much negativity coming from just the blondes aura alone. He'd have no choice but to dilude the boy into thinking he believed him.

"Alright, alright. Calm down, Roxas. I know you're right. I mean, if there wasn't a heart inside of me, then I wouldn't be able to feel so strongly about you, right? After all, we have no emotions either, and you're clearly pissed."

The younger male raised an eyebrow, then slowly nodded his head. There was no denying that his feelings were just as strong as they'd been when he'd died. But to him, Axel had changed just as much as his name. It was unnerving. The male was colder, and more withdrawn.

But what about himself? He could feel himself caring less and less about everything. He didn't want to admit it, but he was constantly annoyed, and upset. He was turning into an emo. (A/N: Yes. He TURNED emo, people!)

"Did you hear me?"

"...what?"

Axel sighed, rubbing his forhead in exhasperation.

"I said, there's a nice little nook over there where we can sit and talk. Do you want to?"

Blinking slowly, Roxas nodded his head, letting Axel take the lead, following quickly after him, least he be left alone. Upon reaching the "nook", he found that it was really more of a back alley with bairly any lighting at all. Nervously, he waited til the red-head was comfortable against the wall before he slowly sank to the ground, settling there.

"First of all...Roxas, do you remember why you died?"

"Because I wanted to be with you."

It was a simple answer. A truthful one. Axel frowned.

"For me? But when you got here, you told me I'd changed."

"...you have. And I have too. That doesn't change....it doesn't change that I came so that I could be beside you. I still want to be beside you."

"We can't always have what we want, Roxas."

It was like being stabbed through the chest. It stung. But, they had no emotions, right? So it shouldn't hurt. Shouldn't make him sad. Shouldn't have brought tears to his eyes.

Axel noticed. Instantly, he was on his knees beside the boy, tugging him into his arms, lips brushing over his eyes as he attempted to soothe the blonde.

"No...Don't cry, Roxas. You can't cry...we can't cry..."

"...then why are your eyes wet too, Axel...?"

Indeed, when Roxas pulled his fingers away from the red-heads face they were wet. The two shivered, clinging tightly to one another as feelings they shouldn't have had started to flood into the hearts that they should also not have had.

"Axel..."

"Shh...Roxas, just let me hold you..."

"Mmm..."

Axel's fingers curled, tangling into the blondes locks, his head tilting forward to take in the boys scent. A rush came to him, and soon, he pressed his lips to those of the younger males. There was hesitance on the other end, but soon, he could feel Roxas pressing up into his lips.

Roxas' eyes slid shut, his arms wrapping around the male, clinging tightly to him, even as he gave axcess to his mouth. The others tongue treaded carefully, refamilliarizing itself for a moment before pulling away, allowing them both the chance to breathe.

"Axel...I..."

"No. Not here. After patrol. My room."

Roxas only nodded.

~~~~~~~~~~~
But don't you believe them!
Don't you drink their poison too...
These are the scars that words have carved...on me...
~~~~~~~~~~~

No sooner did the door to Axel's room close before Roxas found himself pinned to it, his breathe already hitching as Axel attacked his neck, the zipper on his cloak having been unzipped in the short amount of time.

"Axel!"

"Shh...I'll take care of you, I promise..."

Gentle fingers slipped the boys cloak off, a soft "whmpf" being sounded as it hit the floor. Next came the boys t-shirt. When Axel was satisfied with Roxas' bare chest, his kisses changed direction, moving up and to the blondes mouth, plundering it as curious fingers caressed already hardened nipples. He smirked as the boy bucked upwards towards him.

Roxas' hands weren't idle for long, moving quickly to tangle into the red-heads own cloak, fiddling with the zipper before tossing it to the ground, his lips pulling away as he trembled.

"Axel..please...!"

"Little minx..."

The blondes cheeks took on a pink tint, and Axel found he couldn't deny the boy. His lips trailed down across Roxas' jaw, then down his neck, stopping to nip and suck at his collarbone, leaving a bright mark to claim the boy. All the while, his hand was traveling to the boys pants, popping the button of the jeans open, slipping inside to tease the boy through his boxers.

Roxas whimpered, arching into each touch he was given, his breathing becoming heavier with each stroke, suck, or bite. He carefully pushed the elder away from his neck, ridding him of his shirt before he was returning the favor, his lips ghosting lightly over the red-heads pale skin, nipping here and there. Upon reaching a pert nipple, his pouty lips wrapped around it, suckling softly as his tongue darted forwards to flick over it.

Axel's body reacted accordingly. His hidden cock slowly growing in size with each lick, and suck. Soon, his hand abandoned the boys length, both now focused on ridding the boy of his pants and boxers. Once that task was over, he gave Roxas a reassuring kiss, leading him towards the bed.

"Just lay down and let me do all the work for awhile, Roxas...I owe it to you..."

The blonde could only nod. He lay, waiting for the other to give him a sign. However, his eyes didn't stray from the elders body as his pants were dropped, revealing that Axel hadn't bothered with underwear at all. Flushing brightly, Roxas whined, his lower lip jutted out in a pout.

Axel just chuckled, crawling onto the bed, carefully spreading Roxas' thighs and crawling up between them.

"What? You want my cock that badly?"

"Axel!"

The red-head smirked, leaning forward, his lips hovering right next to the blondes ear.

"What? Don't you want to know how bad I want to fuck you? To fill your tight little hole with my pulsing cock? To make you scream for more...Harder...Faster..."

A moan was torn from Roxas' lips, despite the blondes obvious embarassment over the words. However, his body responded in kind, his erection pushing forth a small bead of pre-cum.

"D---don't talk like that..."

"Aww. You're so cute."

Axel moved his head away from the boys ear, shifting downwards, a hand taking hold of the younger boys length. He smirked at the pre-cum there, then leaned down, flicking his tongue over the tip, tasting the salty fluid there.

"Axel!"

"Hush and enjoy..."

Whimpering, Roxas obeyed, his hands clinging to the sheets beneith him as he whined.

Rolling his eyes, Axel took the head of the blondes length into his mouth, rolling his tongue along the head, a soft purr slipping past his lips as he pulled away.

"So sweet..."

Before the boy had a chance to respond, Axel had taken half of his length into his mouth and was sucking hard upon it. Roxas' whole body shuddered, his mouth open to emit soft gasps, and occasional moans.

Axel worked the length lovingly, taking care to tease the vein that ran along the underside, ocassaionally pulling up to dart his tongue into the slit at the head. He fumbled in the desk beside the bed while keeping the boy distracted, pulling out a small bottle of lotion. Smirking around the length, he popped the bottle open, coating his fingers with the fluid. Slowly he pulled away, giving a flick to the boys arousal.

"Roxas...spread your legs wider and relax..."

The blonde did as he was asked, spreading his legs a bit wider and even slightly out, his hole being reveled to the male above him.

"I---is this okay?"

"Better then okay, beautiful..."

~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey love...
That's the name we've long held back,
From the core of truth.
~~~~~~~~~~~

The elder male used one hand to steady the boys thigh before his other moved closer to the puckered entrance. His lotion-coated index finger circled around the hole, pushing teasingly before finally allowing it to slip inside. He was stunned to find the boy tighter then even the first time. Cooing softly, he began to work the finger in and out, crocking it here and there to make sure it was actually being stretched.

Roxas winced slightly as the finger entered, his eyes closing as he forced himself to relax. A soft whimper was torn from his lips, but Axel's cooing calmed him and it wasn't until the second finger was pressed into his body that he first made a sound of pain.

"Axel..."

The male paused, leaving his fingers sitting inside of the boy. He leaned over the blonde, hovering his lips above the others, a smile on them.

"Ne...sing for me, okay?"

"S---sing...?"

"Mmhmm."

The fingers began to scissor inside of the boy, and thus Roxas began to sing, soft whimpers and moans, gasps and cries slipping past his lips, each sound adding fuel to Axel's already hard cock. A third finger was entered, paused, and then began to move. Gently the elder fucked the boy with his fingers, twisting them and spreading them apart, intent on making sure his actual penetration wouldn't hurt.

When Roxas keened, the red-head couldn't help but smirk. He curled his fingers, brushing them over the boys pleasure spot, watching as the boys cheeks went from pink to red in a matter of moments, the body eagerly thrusting towards his fingers, seeking more of the pleasure. It was then that Axel knew the boy was prepaired. He pulled his fingers slowly away, clucking his tongue at the soft whimper that followed their removal.

"Now, now...the best part is coming..."

The red-head made sure that his length was well coated before he moved closer between the boys thighs, the head of his cock pressing against the boys entrance. He purred, looking down at Roxas, a smirk on his lips.

"Tell me what you want, Roxas."

"..."

"I won't until you say it."

"......"

"C'mon."

"........."

Axel shifted slightly forward, adding pressure to the tight hole, but not enough to actually penetrate. Roxas gave a needy whimper.

"Say it and it's yours."

"...do me."

"Nuh-uh-uh. That ain't gonna cut it."

"...Put it in me."

"Put what, where in you? My finger in your bellybutton?"

Axel slipped a finger into Roxas' bellybutton, fingering there lightly.

"N--not there!"

"Then in your ear?"

Axel reached his hand up, but it was swatted away.

"Man, you make this so hard, Roxas. What do you want? Just tell me."

"...ck...inside me..."

"What was that?"

"P--put your cock...inside me..."

"Inside you where?"

Roxas whimpered, finally giving in.

"P--put your cock inside my ass....and fuck me..."

"See, now that wasn't so hard."


~~~~~~~~~~~
so don't turn away now
I am turning in revolution
these are the scars that silence carved...on me...
~~~~~~~~~~~

Roxas opened his mouth to respond, but a scream was emitted as Axel's length finally pierced him, sinking fully to the hilt in one swift thrust. He was left trembling, his chest heaving as he gasped for breathe, the pain overwhelming him for a few minutes. He looked at te other, shocked to find fingers lightly caressing his cheeks and wiping away the tears that had began to fall. He took comfort in this action, waiting til there was no pain before he rocked his hips gently against the males.

"Please..."

"Mmm..."

Axel slowly pulled back, his length following, waiting til just the head was inside of the boy before he pushed back inside, filling the blonde once more. He smirked as the boy arched up too meet his thrust. It couldn't be completely pleasureable for the boy, and he knew it. His hips pulled back once more, pausing briefly before he snapped them forward, impaling the blonde deeply.

Roxas let out a soft shriek, his back arching off of the bed, fingers ripping at the sheets as he trembled. His sapphire eyes locked on the jade ones of the male inside of him.

"Don't...don't stop...take me....claim me...Please..."

"...as you wish..."

The two fell into a harsh rythem. Axel's thrust's weren't kind and gentle like the first time, they were harsh and demanding, making Roxas cry out with every thrust. Roxas' hips however moved in sync, the tears cascading down his eyes as his hands clung to the red-heads shoulders, leaving little red welts in the skin.

For them, it wasn't the love that drove them to this pace. It was need. Roxas' need to be owned, and Axel's need to be his owner. Each thrust was harder then the last, more bruital. Through it all, Roxas mearly cried, whimpering the males name over and over, pleading for more.

"Harder...Axel...take me harder...!"

A grunt was his responce, and he was forced slightly backwards up the bed as Axel shifted his legs, pushing them up by his ears, his hips driving deeper, harder. A scream was torn from Roxas' lips, but it was muffled by Axel's mouth.

The harsh pace soon turned frantic as Roxas cried for release. Release that only Axel could grant him.

"Please...Axel...please...!!"

"Cum for me, beautiful...scream my name as I fill you with my seed..."

The words the Axel never thought he'd hear from himself were slipping free. Maybe his death had changed him more then he'd thought. A startled scream broke him from his musings. Roxas was thrashing beneith him, the tears not of pleasure now, but more pain. The red-head bit his lip, grabbing the boys length, stroking it quickly, his hips pistioning in and out of the boy.

Roxas' breathes were non-exhistant. Only screams fell from his lips now, and then, he came, his eyes going wide as he saw white.

"L---LEA!!"

His old name threw him over the edge, and with one final, frantic thrust inside of the blondes convulsing body, Axel came, a whimper of "Soar" slipping from his lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~
This is the same place...
No not the same place...
This is the same place, love...
No not the same place we've been before!
~~~~~~~~~~~
When Roxas woke the next morning, he found himself fully clothed and in his own room. He frowned. He didn't believe that Axel would sleep with him and leave him. Axel wasn't that cruel now. ...Was he?

In seconds, Roxas had bolted from his room, dashing towards Axel's, pounding on the door, tears already welling up in his eyes. His pounding went un-heeded, and what little restraint Roxas had fled him. He screamed, slamming his fist into the door, sobs wracking his body.

He didn't notice Demyx, nor the look that the elder blonde was giving him. It wasn't until a gentle hand was placed on his shoulder that Roxas reacted. And violently. He spun around striking out at the male without even thinking.

A few moments later, Demyx was on the ground, holding his bright red cheek, a pout on his lips. The younger realized his mistake and quickly knelt beside the elder, a soft cure spell slipping through his lips as he healed the males cheek, an apologetic look upon his lips.

"I'm sorry...I thought that you were Axel..."

"Axel's out on an order from Xemnas. I was on my way to tell you, but I guess you beat me to it."

"...Oh."

So he hadn't been abandoned. Axel had just made sure that he was in his room before leaving. A relieved sigh escaped him as he smiled at Demyx.

"Thank you, Demyx."

~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey love!
I am a constant satellite...
Of your blazing sun!
My love!
I obey your law of gravity...
This is the fate you've carved on me...
~~~~~~~~~~~
TBC...

Author's Note: That took me alot longer then I actually thought it would, and I'm so sorry that you've had to wait this long. I sometimes go through long periods of writters block. Like, really long periods. My poor Xephyer story is suffering the greatest right now because of it. However, Beautiful Goodbye's next chapter has been titled and started. I still wouldn't expect anything for at least a month. For you loyal readers, thank you~! It means alot to me!