Light Within

I do not own Tos or any of the characters depicted here

-

A week had passed, a week full of nightmares and tear-soaked pillows, of cheerful smiles that never quite reached his eyes, and a week of flinching away from any sudden touches. The group was becoming concerned about Zelos' well-being.

Lloyd called a meeting, convincing Sheena to take Zelos out on a date so they could talk, and later she approached him asking him.

Zelos couldn't quite believe what he was hearing; but he could hardly refuse, after constantly hitting on Sheena before. "Sure, my voluptuous hunny!" he replied with a grin, "It's a date!"

Later that night the two went out, receiving well wishes from the others.

They went to a restaurant near the sea. Regal had set up a private booth for them that had a great view of the ocean.

After about an hour of conversational chatter, Sheena looked Zelos straight in the eyes and asked, "Zelos, have you been sleeping well these last few nights?

Zelos put on his best innocent expression, "Like a baby. Why, have you been having trouble or something?"

Sheena kept her gaze calm. "Yeah I have. I keep waking up to you screaming."

Zelos smirked a bit, "Like I said, I've been sleeping like a baby. As any parent will attest, that involves waking up screaming every few hours."

"Yeah but thing is, you're no longer a baby." Sheena said slight sarcasm in her voice. "So what's been waking you?"

Zelos shrugged, "Just old stuff. It comes and goes sometimes. I'll be fine soon."

Sheena scoffed. "Something you've been crying about for a week, when you hardly even flinch when someone would bother you before."

Zelos looked away, deciding to play his final card. "Look... you heard about what happened to my mom, right? Sometimes... the memories come back, that's all. It always fades away sooner or later, and I'll be fine." He looked at Sheena pleadingly, "Don't tell the others, okay? This is... it's personal."

Sheena sighed, she had heard rumors... but never the full tale. "Zelos..." She wasn't sure what to say to say to him. Recently they all seemed at a lose of words to him, especially when they accidentally walked in on him crying.

"Don't worry about it," Zelos told her, then grinned cheerily, "Next week, the hunnies of the world will have their beloved Zelos back, never you fear!"

Sheena sighed loudly, glaring at him with her usual spite. "Fine, whatever Zelos."

-

They finished their date in relative silence, and Zelos was relieved to get back to his room. Sighing as he flopped down onto the bed, he wondered how long he could keep the others' questions at bay. He knew what buttons to press to make Sheena leave him alone, but he shuddered to think what would happen if Raine or Regal started to pry.

"Quite the night you had." A sarcastic voice said from his window.

Zelos' heart seemed to stop beating for a moment, then made up for it by going into overtime as he sat up all at once. "Geez! Give me a heart attack, why don't you!" he cried.

Yuan chuckled. "Forgive me chosen."

"I'm not talking to you right now," Zelos informed the seraph firmly. He'd gotten in enough trouble regarding the Renegades lately.

"Strange, since you were the one who came to me wishing to become my spy." Yuan said, a slight irritation to his voice.

"Well, the deal's off," Zelos said, "Go away."

Yuan glared at him. "I see, and what brought about this change of heart, might I ask?"

Zelos turned away, "I don't have to tell you."

"Really..?" Yuan said with a humorless smile on his face. As quick as a wild cat he had moved across the room, pushed Zelos down on his bed, and covered his mouth so he couldn't scream. "I do believe you and I have a binding contract, and here you are trying to break it. I can not help but wonder why."

Zelos panicked, struggling to breathe through his nose, his screams and whimpers muffled by Yuan's hand as he thrashed, eyes wild, desperately trying to free himself.

Yuan rendered Zelos' struggles useless. "Mayhap we should talk else where..." He said, then teleported them to his office.

Zelos kept struggling, not really hearing Yuan's words. Despairingly, he wondered why this kept happening to him.

Yuan got off of Zelos and moved over to his desk, motioning for him to take a seat.

Trembling a bit, Zelos sat, watching Yuan nervously and waiting for his next move.

"Now, calmly explain to me this decision." Yuan said, none of his earlier anger present.

Zelos began to calm down slightly, seeing that Yuan didn't appear to be threatening him yet. "Look, I-I just don't want to work for you anymore," he said, "It's just getting too risky."

"I assumed you aware of the risks when you first signed on." Yuan stated calmly.

Zelos looked away, shuddering, "Yeah, well, maybe I've found out about some risks I wasn't aware of before."

Yuan tilted his head curiously. "What do you mean?"

Zelos shook his head, realizing that he'd said more than he intended, "Nothing, okay? Just... just leave me alone."

Yuan raised an eyebrow. "Not until I understand." He said simply. "Those who decide to quit the renegades are placed under several test to ensure that they aren't traitors." He commented. "At the end of these tests, if you aren't found a traitor, your mind is erased of all memories linking to the renegades. This process takes one month. If you aren't found a traitor..." he added, a near edge to his voice, like a knife.

Zelos looked indignant, "I never said a word about the Renegades to anyone," he growled, "and I've had opportunities." His expression fell, "Look, can't we... work something out? I can't miss a month. I... made a promise." He wasn't sure exactly when the promise he'd made to Kratos to help Lloyd had become so important to him, but he knew that he couldn't break it now.

"Then I suggest you continue working with me." Yuan said. "I do not have enough faith in you chosen, not to allow me to not take this step should you decide to quit."

Zelos sighed, "Fine. Fine, I'll keep reporting to you." He couldn't go any further without revealing things that he didn't ever want to talk about, least of all with Yuan.

Yuan smiled, content in his victory. "Then I'll need your report, as was the original intention for my visit."

"The group is continuing to travel around Tethe'alla acquiring summons; I believe that we'll be headed to Flanoir next, to meet Celsius," Zelos told him.

"...Summons? Why are you doing that?" Yuan asked.

"They're trying to break the mana links," Zelos replied, "Volt and Undine told us about how the mana links connect the two worlds, and they think that by breaking the links, they might be able to stop the worlds from competing for each other's mana."

Yuan made a thoughtful noise. "I will have to do some investigating into this myself."

Zelos nodded, "Is there anything else you wanted to know, or can I get back to bed?"

"I will allow your insolence to go unpunished for this moment," Yuan said with a glare, "but should you ever act in such a manor towards me again I will not be gracious."

Zelos shuddered again as the memory of his most recent punishment sprang to mind unbidden, but he simply nodded, "Got it."

"Good, then you may return home." Yuan said, knowing Zelos knew of the teleporter that would return him to his last destination.

Zelos nodded, and stepped on the teleporter, returning quickly to his room and sitting on the edge of the bed.

-

A knock was heard on the door a while later. "Zelos, are you there?" Came Lloyd's voice.

"Yeah, come on in, bud," Zelos called, suppressing a sigh. It seemed the world was determined to test the limits of his acting skills tonight.

Lloyd entered, carrying a two drinks. "Um... hey." He greeted softly. "Would... you like to talk?"

"Not especially," Zelos admitted, "but hey, don't let that stop you. What have you got there?"

"Ah, just some iced tea." Lloyd said, actually looking shy. "I... don't want to make you angry..."

Zelos shook his head, "It's fine, bud. I... understand if you guys have been worried. I haven't exactly been myself lately, have I?"

"Kinda..." Lloyd said, blushing lightly. "I... uh, we're all worried about you."

"Yeah, I know. It's... I've just got some personal stuff to get through, okay? Stuff that happened in the past." A week ago was technically the past. "It's kinda been on my mind a lot lately. I'll be okay soon enough, all right? So don't worry about me."

"But that's what friends do. They worry about each other." Lloyd said, staring into his drink.

Zelos didn't know what to say. He'd never really had friendship like this before. And he wasn't really sure that Lloyd's reactions indicated only friendship, either, making the situation very delicate. "I appreciate the sentiment, Lloyd," he said, "but this is my problem, okay? It won't do anyone any good for the rest of you guys to be losing sleep over it."

“All right. Well then, we won't worry about it and you let us help you get over it." Lloyd said with a broad smile. "You don't have to tell us if you really don't want to, but you could at least give us a little clue besides leave me alone."

Zelos smiled up at him tiredly, "Get some sleep, Lloyd, okay?" He couldn't, just couldn't, bring himself to give them 'a little clue', as Lloyd suggested. He couldn't bear the idea of them discovering what had happened to him... and especially with who. He needed them to trust him if he was to help Lloyd, and if they learned who he'd been reporting to... no, he couldn't afford to tell them anything.

"You too Zelos, and whatever it is that's hurting you... I hope one day you'll believe in our friendship enough for you to tell me." Lloyd said, smile never wavering.

Zelos' heart gave a pang at Lloyd's innocent faith. "Goodnight, Lloyd," he said softly.

Lloyd stood and before leaving said a quick. "Goodnight."

With a sigh, Zelos reclined on his bed and closed his weary eyes, hoping to get at least a little sleep before the nightmares woke him once more. Soon, he was dozing lightly.

-

The group ran into Ozette as the city burnt to the ground.

"What happened here?" Lloyd shouted as they searched for survivors.

"I don't know!" Genis replied, "It was some kind of ultra-powerful spell!"

Zelos had spotted something through the flames. "Hey, look over... here..." he trailed off as he realized who he was looking at.

Lloyd quickly ran to the person and saving them from nearly being killed by a falling building. "Goddess! We have to get out of here!"

"Uh, yeah," Zelos said, gathering his wits, "Come on, everyone, it looks like the fires haven't spread to down below." He led them down the branch-road to where Presea's house lay, thankfully intact.

A while later the boy regained consciousness. "...Ah... wh-where...?" He asked softly.

"You're safe," Raine told him gently, "We're in the lower area of the village. Can you tell us what happened?"

Mithos looked at the woman, a nearly shocked expression taking his face. "...I... I don't know..." He said shaking his head. "Suddenly the sky lit up and angels started attacking."

"Angels?" Lloyd asked.

"Those with wings are angels, aren't they?" Mithos said, with a nearly puzzled look.

"Angels... destroyed the village?" Presea asked in her unsettlingly neutral tone, now tinged with just a hint of the anger she must be feeling.

Zelos was nearly shaking with disgust at the entire scene. The sheer nerve of Yggdrasil! ...But if he tried to tell them who Mithos was, they'd want to know how he knew... so he simply tried not to draw attention to himself for now.

Lloyd growled. "Damned cruxis!!"

“What's your name?" Genis asked.

Mithos looked at the group. "My name is Mithos... I live on the outskirts of town..."

"That's the same name as the ancient hero!" Lloyd said with a smile.

"Wait... you're a half-elf, aren't you?" Genis asked.

"I... no..." Mithos said taking a step back.

"It's all right," Raine said soothingly, "Surely you can tell... Genis and I have the same blood flowing through our veins."

"But you're with humans and..." Mithos started.

"They're our friends!" Colette told him cheerfully.

"Half-elves and humans? No, you're lying!" Mithos said, fear and doubt taking his voice.

"She's telling the truth," Genis informed him, "Raine and I have been accepted by this group."

"You can relax among us," Raine assured him.

"...But..." Mithos started but was interrupted by Altessa walking into the city.

"What happened here?!" He demanded.

"Altessa?" Lloyd asked, "How come you're here?"

"Angels... came and destroyed the village," Presea told the dwarf.

"Angels... so this is their punishment..." Altessa said, looking terrified and deeply saddened at the same time.

What do you mean...?" Lloyd asked.

"N-Nothing! It's nothing!" Altessa said and fled.

"Wait!" Lloyd shouted, but was blocked by Tabatha.

"STOP." She said mono-tonelessly.

"But..." Lloyd tried.

"THE MASTER BELIEVES IT IS HIS FAULT THAT OZETTE WAS DESTROYED. I HAVE TO RETURN, EXCUSE ME." She said, then turned and left.

-

That night, Zelos had difficulty getting to sleep. He'd already known a fair amount of what Altessa had told them, of course; he wouldn't lose sleep over that sort of thing. No, he was simply having difficulty sleeping in the same house as the person who... as Mithos was.

A soft knock was heard on his door.

Zelos swallowed hard, lying in the bed. He did *not* want to answer that. But if it was who he feared it to be, it would make no difference whether he allowed him to come in or not, except in Mithos' mood. "Yeah? Come in," he called softly, trying his best to sound casual.

The door opened and Mithos entered. "Chosen." He said softly.

Zelos tried to suppress the tremors that ran through his body as he sat up. "What is it that you want... 'Mithos'?" he asked, his voice not quite as steady as he would have liked.

Mithos sighed, an irritated tone rolling of his tongue. "I see you're still sore about your punishment."

"'Sore'... is not the word for it," Zelos said, a little angry now, seeing how lightly Mithos was treating his emotions. Not that he'd expected any differently, but... it was still irritating.

"You deserved that Zelos, you should be thankful I allowed you to keep your pathetic life." Mithos said with a glare.

Zelos kept his mouth firmly closed. He certainly couldn't bring himself to thank Mithos for what he'd done, but he knew that if he said what he wanted to say right now, he would only anger the angel further.

"Anyways, that is not why I am here." Mithos said. "I want you to report all of Sylvarant's chosen's actions to me."

Zelos smirked a little, "Well, let's see. After Gnome's seal, she made us fruit sandwiches - which actually aren't bad - and then talked to Lloyd for a while, then went to bed. She followed along when we went to Sybak, and only tripped twice - that I can recall - along the way... of course, we were riding the Rheiards most of the way, so that hardly counts, does it? And then while we were in Sybak..."

Mithos glared at Zelos. "That is NOT what I asked..."

Zelos blinked innocently. "You said to report on all of her actions. I'm doing my best, I don't really watch her that closely." He knew he was pushing it, but he felt he needed to assert himself somehow.

Mithos grabbed Zelos' neck. "Chosen, you are standing on a blade..."

Zelos swallowed hard, all humor gone from his expression, "Yes sir."

"Good." Mithos said and released him. "Now, your report."

Zelos rubbed his throat a bit and cleared it. "Ahem. They've been going around and making pacts with the Summon Spirits, as I'm sure you've noticed. They seem to be intending to break all of the mana links, in the hope that it will keep the worlds from vying for each other's mana."

"Lunacy." Mithos said, tsking.

Zelos shrugged, "I really don't have any influence over what they do, my lord. They seem quite determined to continue on this path."

"Hm, this may prove interesting in the end..." Mithos said, a nearly sadistic smile taking his face.

Zelos shivered. "That's really all I know, my lord."

"Then my orders for you are as they always have been. Watch, wait, and when the time comes, strike."

Zelos nodded, and bowed as well as he could while sitting down, "Yes, my lord."