The Penile Lobotomy

The Penile Labotomy II: On The Move

I dedicate this story to the notion that fanfiction is not something to be taken lightly. It is serious fucking business.

NEVAR 4GET OLE TIMMY BOY 1983-2007 I'LL KEEP LEADING EM ON BRO.


As far as it all goes, Delsus had decided that fucking Klein in the eye socket was easily the greatest sexual experience one could have. Brain matter was an excellent lubricant. Delsus didn't know what it was, but some how the soft, warm, slightly thick substance was the fastest way for him to reach climax. It was not quite unlike humping a bowl of Jell-O. A bowl of Jell-O that held memories of childhood and math class.

Here's the great thing. The rest of the party knew about this sad, terrible truth. But they hated Klein as much as Delsus and it was really no problem with them if he wanted to skull fuck the young alchemist. And fuck, Klein was an obnoixious cock sucker anyway. And since they lived in the world of Eternal Mana, all they had to do was ressurect Klein. For when they needed him to camp it up in battle. You know, flash some sack at the enemies. Then offer that sack to the monsters to suck on. Suck on until he was dead. Dead like I am inside. Also Klein was an anti-Semite.

So with the party turning its back to the horrible instances of rape and the necrophilic undertones, Klein had no one to turn to. So he'd cry in a corner and jack off, because it was really hot, you know?

One day Klein felt he had no choice but to tell someone his troubles. So he went to Lita. The fiesty red-head (because all red heads are fiesty) stayed by him and listened to his saddness and woe. "Geez, what a fag," she thought to herself. She also wondered if it would be possible to use Klein's tears as lubricant. But then he brought something up that got her right where her emotions were. Yes, I am talking about that.

"Lita," started Klein, "do you remember that night we met? At Heimdal's Gate?"

Lita paused and thought for a bit. Yes, that first time they had met. It wasn't so much love at first sight, but lust at first sight. Oh yes, they had done the nasty. Sheep skin condom and all. No glove, no love. It was quite possibly the most unsatisfying sex in the history of sex. After the awkward time after the act, they didn't speak. At all. Klein got dressed, while Lita proceeded to blog about how many fingers Klein was able to fit inside her. The total was one. They both tried to forget it, but for some reason now it was being brought up again. To advance plot or something.

"Yes, I remember. And I think we shouldn't talk about it. It was never on the mystical Book of Face, and thus was invalid." Here Lita was referring to the magical tome that everyone used to learn important facts about one's friends such as who like Eddie Money and Goatse. "We agreed that we'd never bring that embarassing incident again."

"But.. I just think that somehow we could recapture the magic of that magical evening where we were one. One in body and soul."

"There was no magic. You thought my bellybutton was my vagina."

They stared at each other for about twenty seconds, then started making out. Raw animal making out. Dry humping. They were setting sail on the USS VD (Lita had crabs from using the public washing hole). Oh this was wild. But not attractive. Oh sweet God no. It was like taking a stick of Old Spice deoderant and having it mate with a vial of Henry Kissenger's bile. Yet they went at it. They stripped each other in a rather haphazard fashion. At last Klein's massive (yet unexperienced) member flopped out and Lita was nude in all her nudely glory. Third nipple and all. And you know what third nipple means? That's right, she's an angel.

"Oh Klein, I'm gonna rock your world."

"Let's do it baby. My fuck rod is ready for the tufts of your downy mound."

Lita stopped. This was the problem. Klein didn't know shit. Thus, it was decided on the spot that she would take a page from Delsus' book and abuse the little shit-cock. But what? She herself did not possess a dong. She came up with a plan soon enough.

"I will not let you put it in me," she announced. "Rather, I am going to give you a tug job. Unless you'd like to use your uber-faggish alchemy to grow me a penis to use."

Klein wimpered and nodded. He knew he could do nothing as all he wanted was to fire his white pepperjack sauce all over something.

Lita pulled out her gauntlet claws. "Oh yes, I think this will do quite nicely." She grabbed his penis and began to stroke. No attempt at lube. She used he hand at first, but then allowed the claws to touch the penis. It had the effect of a cheese grater. First just small bits of skin came off. Then more. Blood started to pour out. "Where does the penis go Klein?"

"The penis goes in the vagina! This is how intercourse is done! Oh GOD PLEASE STOOOOP!"

"Yes. The penis goes in the vagina." Lita sped up the frame rate and proceeded to jack him off harder. "Not my belly button. Not the tufts of my downy mound. My vagina. My vagina hungers for cock, but unfortunetly your member is no longer suitible for my vagina. It was true. Klein's penis was now a ragged and torn piece of flesh. Yet Lita kept working on the bloody stump that was once his male sex.

Klein came all at once. One would think that it was impossible at this point, yet somehow his mayotard found some way to escape his dickhole. However, the force of the ejaculation caused his penis to completely rip off. It was handing on by a few strands of skin at this point and the explosion of sperm caused it to fly completely off. The semen, blood, and dick all launched forward and hit Lita full in the face. "GAGEGEGEGEGEHGAZETTER!" she cried in shock. The blood and semen covered her entire body while the torn up penis landed and stuck to her face.

"Let this be a lesson to you, Klein. Don't have sex. Ever."

As she turned to go Delsus emerged from the side hatch. "MOTHERFUCKING EXTREEEEEEEEMEEEEEEEEEEE!" he yelled. Delsus was quite drunk and high. He had been not only drinking but taking more coccaine than Tom Sizemore and Ray Liota on a lost weekend in Dallas. He smacked Lita in the back of her head with his crossbow. Her eye popped out and Delsus promptly stuck his dick right into the eye socket and literally fucked her brains out. He did the same to Klein shortly after but didn't bother removing his eye and fucked him pupils and all. "I AM THE MOTHERFUCKING FURY AND MY COCKSAUCE MAKES THE GRASS GROW AND THE SKY BLUE!!!!!! I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

After this incident Klein and Lita never spoke of what happened again. After they had been restored Klein castrated himself while Lita bought an iron box so that nothing could enter her vagina ever. Delsus continued raping Klein, but left Lita alone because he wasn't into Loli-con.