Anger Management

Sonic: Hey guys! Welcome to chapter 18 of….ANGER MANAGEMENT!!!

(You see Chaos with a sign with the words: “Get well CC13“)

Sonic: Oh yeah, before I forget, CC13 called us this morning and announced she will be leaving the hospital on Thursday.

Chaos: And I hope the bitch will get out of the hospital with crutches!!!

Sonic: Chaos! Stop being a jerk!

Chaos: Well for your information, I am the God of Destruction! And not only that, My name happens to be Chaos! Do the math!

Sonic(fuming): Anyway folks, she managed to write this chapter before the end of the week as promised! So I….

Chaos: Blah! Blah! Blah! Get on with the damn story already so I can be an prick and make smart-assed comments!

Sonic(rolling his eyes): Are you still pissed about that whole ice-cream thing?

Chaos: The hell do you think I feel!? I just ate cow guts for fucks sake!

Sonic(grinning): Don’t forget the dead mix of insects I put in there!

Chaos: That too…..-_-

Sonic: Now without further interruption…here is Chapter 18!!!

Chaos(holding a flag with CC13’s face on it): Yay…..whooo……another fucked-up chapter!!!

Sonic: That‘s the spirit!

(Sonic throws a chilly dog at Chaos, which splattered on his face)

Chaos(angry): That’s it!!! Grrrraahhhhh!!!

Sonic: Oops!

(You can see Sonic running with a very angry water-demon behind him)


ANGER MANAGEMENT
Chapter 18: Sweet Celebration


(As the rays of the morning sun hit the charred and ruined streets of Station Square, and the surroundings began to clear, a blue figure can be seen surrounded by several familiar faces…)

“Chaos you did it!!! You thrashed that bastard real good!,” Knuckles shouted as he waving his hands into the air. “I never saw you fight like that before! How the heck did you do that energy shot?,” Tails questioned as he grabbed my hand and examined it. Same old Tails. I could see Shadow and Espio, standing a few feet away….with smirks on their faces….It’s good to be back! Then I felt a pair of hands sneak it’s way around my waist. “I miss you Chaos!,” Sonic chirped from behind as he hugged me. “Oh Sonic, really?,” I teased. I got a smack on the ass. “ Ow! I guess that’s a yes!,” I blushed. Suddenly Omochao popped out of nowhere and hugged my face. “I miss you too…ack!,” I chocked as I tried to pry the happy chao of my face.

“I was kinda wondering…how did you escape from Eggman’s base?,” asked tails. “I would tell you…if you stop poking me…,” I said as I crossed my arms. “Sorry!,” grinned the kitsune. “I didn’t really know how I escaped…it was strange,” I mused as I thought deeply. “What do you mean?,” Espio asked curiously. “Was it…Chaos Control?!,” Shadow added, with a smirk. “That‘s what it was? From the very instant the whole base exploded, a huge blinding light swallowed me. As I regained consciousness, I found myself on the altar of the Master Emerald. Then the Master Emerald glowed a bright green as I touched it,” I said looking down into the ground. “That never happened before…was it the Master Emerald who teleported you out of harm’s way?,” Knuckles said as he rubbed his chin. “I think it was…I know I’m connected to it, maybe it didn’t want me to die…I don’t really know,” I said looking at the sky.

“If my theory is correct, the Master Emerald and you are one and the same,” Tails suddenly said. “What do you mean? That it wasn‘t an accident?,” Sonic questioned. “Yes, you see, Chaos and the Master Emerald are…as a matter of fact one and the same. According to my research, both he and the Mater Emerald contain the same energy wavelength,” lectured Tails as he walked back and forth. “Damn it Tails, Speak English!,” Knuckles shouted impatiently. “All right, all right! What I mean to say is, If Chaos gets hurt severely, the Master Emerald senses it and teleports him to safety! Chaos is a part of the Master Emerald as the Master Emerald is a part of Chaos! Boy was that too hard to understand?!,” Tails squealed angrily. Everyone had sweat drops on their heads….

~~~~~~~~~~~o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What are we gonna do to Metal Sonic’s carcass?,” Espio said looking at the charred body of the would be overlord. “I could probably use him as spare parts for my cyclone! I always wanted a new engine core!,” Tails screamed as he ran to the Metal Sonic’s corpse and dragged him to who knows where. “Tails wait! He might still be alive!,” Shadow shouted. “Let him go Shad, I wouldn’t wanna be Metal Sonic right now!,” laughed Sonic as we watched the mad fox dragging Metal Sonic’s carcass across the street.

“Well guys, I’m tired, not to mention thirsty! Let’s go to my office and party!,” I shouted happily. “We already had a party actually…to remember all the wonderful, kinky and naughty things you did!,” Omochao squealed. “What?!,” I blushed as the Sonic and the guys snickered from Omochaos’ comment. “Let’s just go…,” I signed as I walked towards Chaos Corps. Building….with Sonic and the others telling jokes behind my ass…..

~~~~~~~~~~~o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As we entered the building, we were greeted by the receptionist. “Oh Hello Mr. Zero! How was your vacation?,” the receptionist cheerfully asked. “Chaos, we told all everyone you went to take a vacation. Just play along,” Sonic whispered as he nudged me on the back. “Er…Oh right! It was nice…I got sunburned!,” I lied. “That’s nice to hear! Have a good day Mr. Zero!,” the receptionist replied. “Man…note to self, get new receptionist,” I thought as we entered the elevator.

As I approached my office, a crashing noise was suddenly heard. “What the heck? Someone’s there,” whispered Shadow as we silently approached the door. “Let me see…I think I can hear what their saying,” Espio inquired as he put the side of his head against the door. “Well? What do you hear?,” whispered Knuckles. “Something about…a CD…,” Espio whispered back. No sooner did he finish his sentence when a very horrible thought popped into my head. I kicked the door open. “Fucking Paparazzi!!! Hold it!!!,” I screamed as I kicked the door open. I was greeted with 10 sets of eyes…all belonging to 5 humans in ninja suits. “Damn Chaos! You must be popular!,” laughed Omochao. “Now they sent ninja paparazzi after you!,” Sonic grinned.

Suddenly one of them shouted. “We’ve been compromised! Scatter!!!,” the ninja shouted as he threw a smoke bomb on the floor and jumped out the windows. Two others joined him and jumped out. “Oh no you don’t!!! I screamed to the remaining two as I stretched my arm and smacked one of them. “You‘ll never catch me! Hahaha!,” screamed the other ninja as he bolted for the door….and suddenly feel down to the floor, holding his stomach. “I’ve got this one,” Espio said calmly as he appeared in front of the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We tied up the two ninja paparazzi together on the couch as Sonic went into the kitchen. “All right human, what the hell are you doing in my office?!,” I screamed grabbing him by the collar. “Ha! Foolish monster! We will never tell!,” laughed the ninja. “We are trained by the high order of the paparazzi for this kind of situation!,” mocked the other one. “I knew you would say that! We‘ll see if you won‘t crack!,” I threatened. “Sonic! Come out!,” I shouted. Sonic came out of the kitchen holding a large boiling kettle, with an evil look on his face. “W..what are you going to do with that?,” gulped one of them. “This!,” I said as I grabbed the kettle from Sonic and poured it on the ninja’s crotch.

(An unholy scream can be miles away coming from Chaos Corp. building…)

“Ahhh! Whhhyyy?!!! Auuuggghhh!!! My…manhood!!! Ahhhhaaaaggghhh!!!,” screamed the ninja as he collapsed to the floor…writhing in pain. “ Now I suggest you tell me your plans…because I know lots of other methods of interrogation!,” I smiled sadistically to the other ninja. “Ok! Ok! Don’t hurt me! We were sent here by G.U.N. to steal a Chaos Emerald from your office!,” blurted the ninja.

(Author’s note: G.U.N. is the mysterious military organization that tries to capture Sonic and the others and the one who is responsible for he whole Ark Incident 50 years ago! Now back to the story! ^_^)


“I don’t have any Chaos Emeralds in my office!,” I shouted to the ninja. “And why the hell does G.U.N. want any Chaos Emeralds?!,” I questioned. “We don’t know! We were just hired to search the place! Honest!,” cried the fool who was now screaming like a baby. “Fine! I’ll just have to ask G.U.N. then!,” I screamed angrily as I grabbed the two paparazzi ninjas and shoved them inside a near-by closet. “Don’t worry about it Chaos, I’m sure if those G.U.N. creeps try anything, I’ll pound ‘em senseless!,” Knuckles assured. “Damn straight!,” added Shadow.

Somehow I think there’s more to this than what those ninjas are telling us…..

~~~~~~~~~~~o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Meanwhile, A helicopter can be seen hovering over Station Square….the G.U.N. insignia can be seen etched on the side of the chopper.)

“Commander, we lost transmission from the ninjas!,” The pilot said. “It doesn’t matter, the bug has been set, I can hear everything,” a shadowy figure laughed as he starred into a 4 small monitors. The monitors showed different angles of the inside of Chaos’s Office…


Sonic: That was a long chappy! I hope you guys enjoyed it! Oh wait….

(Sonic picks up the phone)

Sonic: Wow! Great!

Chaos: Who was that?
Sonic: It was CC13! She told me chapter 19 is going to have a lemony orgy!

Chaos: What?! No! NO! NO!

Sonic: Yup! CC13 said she hasn’t done a lemon for quite a while now! So please Chaos, stop acting like you hate it!

Chaos:……leave me alone….-_-

Sonic: Anyway folks, be sure to check back on the next chapter of….ANGER MANAGEMENT!!!

Chaos: I swear, that little chao is a bad influence!

Sonic: Like your not!

Chaos:…touche.

Next Chapter, Chaos a la mode!!!