Just Like in Soap Operas, but Worse

AN: AXEL IS GAY. OK??? JEEZ.
**

“Ok, so you spilled your soda all over her top and then you touched her boob?” I say, finally letting out the laughter I’d been holding in for the past couple of minutes while Axel was telling me about his disaster of a date.

“Shut up,” he says but I continue laughing. This is just too good to be true.

You know that time when you were 5, when your mom got back from that Saturday afternoon shopping with her bags full of cookies that you just cant wait to get? This is my Saturday afternoon cookie. And I am loving every bit of it.

Before I get to mock Axel any more, Amy yells for me from downstairs. I walk down and tell her Axel will be joining us. She couldn’t be more happy, the idiot. All four of us walk into the car, Amy and Axel in the front, Sora and me in the back. Don’t ask me how it got that way, Axel was so eager to sit front. He yelled SHOTGUN! SHOTGUN! until we all went a little deaf in both ears.

At least this gave me a chance to have a little eye sex with Sora, and I mean, seriously, who didn’t want a little bit of that?

Knowing Axel, though, makes this really hard for me. He will probably be staring at us through the rear-view mirror the whole, fucking, time.

Axel is like that little brother you wished you never had. His nose being in all your business. He also has that habit of talking too much, about stuff he really shouldn’t know about in the first place.

See my concern about him sitting in front with Amy?

“So Axel, you go to Riku’s school, right?” she asks Axel cheerily. Makes me sick. And of course, Axel acts the exact same way back. They should just get married instead of my dad and Amy. At least then I wouldn’t have to go to the wedding.

“Yes, Ms. Gheyler, I do. We are best friends, right, Riku?”

“Yeah sure, whatever,” I say, wondering how the fuck Axel knew Amy’s last name when even I didn’t.

“Then you can tell me what Riku is like at school. I want all the gossip!” Amy said, smiling the biggest (and ugliest shitty fuck of a) smile I have ever seen. I twist my face in disgust and pray to any God who’ll take me that Axel keeps his mouth shut about yesterday’s event.

“Well, actually...” he starts, and I know I need to shut him up somehow. Gotta keep it cool, we don’t want Amy to suspect anything now, would we? But before I get to do anything, Sora comes to the rescue.

“Mom!” he shouts, “Can we stop? I need to go to the toilet. Look, there’s a gas station!” Amy turns to the right and into the parking lot of the gas station.

“Hurry, sweetie, we will be late,” she calls after Sora, who hurries to the toilet. I clear my throat and kick the seat in front of me, jabbing what I hope to be Axel’s ass.

“Hey Axel, you sure you don’t have to go to the toilet?” I say, trying to be as obvious as I can to him. He turns around and looks at me and shakes his head. I kick the seat again and widen my eyes. “Sure you do, you who drank that bottle of water before we left…”

Finally, after I pretty much bruised his ass through the seat cushion, Axel agrees to go to the toilet, and I join him. I need to tell him the rules of this ride. I push him into the little room, that Sora was already standing in, looking at himself in the mirror.

“Okay, listen, Axel, there is something I need you to do for me…” I say softly.

“I’m not giving you a blowjob in the men’s bathroom of a gas station,” Axel says quickly and I shake my head, and my face recoils in disgust for the second time. “Really, take Sora!” he says and points at Sora. Sora groans in frustration and turns around.

“Amy doesn’t know!”

“She doesn’t know what?” And Axel is being his stupid self, surprise surprise.

“She doesn’t know about me and Sora, and we would really appreciate it if you didn’t tell her,” I say, trying to be as nice as I can and I gotta say I am doing pretty well now, don’t you think? Axel nods and Sora walks up to us, almost pushing us out of the room.

“Now leave, because I really gotta go, and I don’t want you in here listening to me pee,” he said and he now managed to push us out of the room.

“Need a hand?” I ask and Sora chuckles before closing the door. I turn to Axel and he has a smirk on his face that I really wanted to punch out. “What?” I groan.

“Need a hand?” he repeats, giving me his infamous eyebrow raise.

“Shut up,” I said and shoved him hard before walking off to Amy’s car again. We sit inside and she looks at us with a question mark, followed by a, “where’s Sora?”

“He just really had to go,” Axel says and smiles. “A lot. Like, he needed to take a massive lea-” And there goes my foot up Axel’s ass again. “-eave of absence…?” he squeaks.

It took about five minutes before Sora came back, he sat in the car and excused himself. Amy wasn’t mad about him spending maybe just a little too long in the bathroom. If you ask me, I think my whole eye seckzing got him a little too worked up and he had to take care of some biz, you know what I’m saying?

After 30 minutes of small chitchat between Amy and Axel we finally arrived to the mall, and at the bridal shop (that just happened to have tuxedos, imagine our luck). Please, bitch, like the whole thing wasn’t planned.

Amy had already tried on two dresses, and the only one really paying attention was Axel. Each time she came out, Axel’s face lit up like it was Christmas and everyone was opening presents, completely distracted from the fact that he was hiding out and watching porn.

“Axel, could you help me a little in here?” Amy called from the dressing room. Sora’s face crunched up as Axel walked in to help her, which made me laugh. I shifted closer to Sora on the couch we were both sitting on. Slowly leaned my head in close to his ear.

“I want you,” I whispered and I could feel him shiver. I’m not gonna lie, it turned me on. I took the opportunity of the privacy we had and the fact that I was so close to nibble on his earlobe, just barely.

“Riku…” he moaned quietly, before pulling away a little so that there were no physical contact between us. “My mom is in the room next door, separated with curtains,” he whispers, lowering his voice to barely audible, “and you know I still think you’re a moron, right?”

I groaned softly, and moved closer to him. “God, you’re such a prick.”

“Says the virgin.”

“Firstly, shut up. Secondly, one kiss?” I whisper, begging just a little, which is so not like me. I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, or more correctly, what hasn’t gotten into me. Sora looks at me and smiles before moving in to give me a quick peck on the lips.

“That’s all you’re gonna get here, now fuck off to your side of the couch.”

I sit back to where I used to be a few moments before and make a point of letting my lips jut out in the slightest, for lack of a less homosexual word, pout.

“Are you PMSing or something?” I say and reach out to trace his thigh with the tips of my fingers. Just like I thought, he removed my hand and looked quite uncomfortable, always glancing over to the dressing room.

“You do know guys can’t PMS, right?”

“Actually they can.” He gives me a confused look. “It was a science project at school, which proved that guys do PMS. So are you?”

“Sure Riku, whatever you say,” he mutters.

“Whatever I say?” And I present him my famous Riku smirk that only I have seen before (nobody at school is worthy of my sex of a smirk).

“When we get home,” he says blankly. And that’s when Amy and Axel came out. Amy was wearing a slender white dress, which made her look 15 pounds lighter (I would say it wasn’t much really for a cow like her, but even I’m not that cruel) with a small diamond tiara on her head. The dress was sleeveless. The top was shaped like a tank top, and because I will not talk about my boyfriend’s mom’s boobs (which were sticking out like HOLY FUCK), that’s all I’m going to say.

I quickly stand up and point at her. “That is gorgeous, let’s get it!” I almost shout. Amy was a little taken aback by this, same with Sora and Axel (and myself a little). “So, are we ready to go home? Now? Yeah?”

I grin widely when no one responds. “Great.”

**

AN: This chapter SUCKS. But the NEXT chapter will be out much sooner, to make up for this suckiness. And more exciting.
Sorry for the long wait. If you’re still here; freaking A!
Lol to the flames. That’s cool. I never claimed to be a brilliant writer, did I? I failed all my english courses y’know. It shows, doesn’t it? ;_;