Because You Loved Me--Even If I Didn't Want You To

Chapter Twelve: Heartbreaking Decisions–Prelude to Chaos Emerald Shuffle
(AKA: The Bumbling Bee Helps Eggman’s Succeed. Hey– It Rhymes )

Make him decide Amy.

Those four little words continued to echo in the pink hedgehog’s ear, even now as she sat quietly in Tail’s workshop.

The pair had stayed with Rouge and Knuckles an hour longer, having no real conversations as the guys didn’t seem to really contribute and she and Rouge could no longer continue the conversation they had been discussing. So they’d called it a night and Sonic walked Amy home–then changed his mind and took her with him to Tails home. And by the time she’d looked up again, and saw him leaving, only after she asked did he tell her he was going to get some needed fresh air and went out for a run, leaving her sitting where she sat now. In silence. Watching as Tails tried not to burst into tears as he watched Charmy intently out of the corner of his eye.

But she couldn’t really say she was paying that much attention. All she had been able to think about was a single part of her previous conversation.

“You’ll have to make him choose. You can’t keep letting yourself be led on a string that he can just tug closer whenever he feels like it. You’re a sweet girl Amy and you deserve to be treated better than that. If he can’t realize what he has, then he doesn’t deserve you. But if you can’t stop and realize that, then you don’t deserve any better. But until you do, you’ll never be able to grow.”

Amy sighed softly as she put down the mug of cocoa, choosing to stir the drink instead of taking a sip of it like she’d planned on just a moment ago.

“You can’t keep sitting around, wondering if he’s with Shadow every time he’s gone. Or wondering just how deep their relationship is every time they’re together–trying to decipher each smile, wink, word they say to each other as something else. You’ll completely drive yourself crazy. You can’t keep chasing around a guy that you’ll never have, just like you can’t keep living your life for the same guy that can’t–or won’t–do the same for you. It’s not fair to you Amy and you have to start thinking about yourself. Make him decide Amy. Make him decide.”

Amy gave a soft sigh as she completely abandoned her drink.

The last thing she wanted to do was push Sonic–she wanted Sonic to show her how he felt–just like he had earlier that day. He had shown how he felt–didn’t he? He’d sang to her, given her lots of flowers. He even kissed her. Or okay, excepted her kiss, but he kissed back and that counted too

But...

Her heart sank a little at the thought. He’d let Shadow kiss him too. And more than once. And she knew he thought about him–he had on their way to Rouge’s condo, whether he realized she knew or not.

Sonic shouldn’t want to think about Shadow–or anyone–when he was with her right?

But then, how does she know that he was thinking about Shadow in that sense? Sonic had made him very upset lately and maybe it was just bothering him. He was there with her after all...thinking about Shadow the entire...

Amy wanted to smack her head into the table.

She knew she shouldn’t push him to decide–but why was he having such a problem choosing in the first place? Shouldn’t it be easy for him? He has to like one of them more than the other.

“But what if that isn’t me,” Amy asked herself softly, staring at the brown contents in the mug, giving off a rippling as soon as her soft breath reached the surface, causing her reflection to break up.

“Amy?”

She looked up, then downward to see Cream looking up at her in worry, holding a sleeping Cheese in her arms as she rocked back and forth on her feet, from the heel to her toes.

“What’s wrong Amy? You look so sad. Is it Mr. Sonic again?”

Amy sweat dropped. Was it that obvious?

“Well–sort of,” she admitted.

Cream gave her a cheerful smile. “Don’t worry Amy I’m sure he’ll come around eventually He seemed to really like you today He’ll probably like you tomorrow too ”

Amy gave a half hearted smile to Cream’s optimism. “You’re right Cream. I’m just getting worked up over nothing at all.” Then she even managed to give a short laugh. “You know how I get about Sonic ”

They both laughed lightly and Amy, feeling a little better after finding hope in her own words, smiled brightly as her forest green eyes lit up slightly. “You want to join me for cocoa?”

“Sure,” Cream smiled, climbing up onto a stool and sitting at the counter that was opposite from Tail’s workspace, placing Cheese in her lap.

“What’s everybody doing anyway?” Amy asked her as the small bunny poured herself a cup of cocoa and Amy slid her the small jar of sugar.

“Tails wanted to help Mr. Sonic with his new ring because he can’t get it off. So he’s going to try to use the emeralds. Cheese and I were helping, but with Mr. Vector and Mr. Espio and Charmy helping–”

“Why are they here?” Amy frowned slightly. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Team Chaotix–it was just that something always seemed to go wrong whenever they showed up anywhere.

“I’m not sure. But I think they want to help Tails because they keep following him everywhere he goes. Though Tails seems to be unhappy and doesn’t want their help,” Cream admitted.

Amy nodded. She didn’t blame him.

“Iiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ”

Both girls let out a startled cry as Amy placed down her cocoa quickly, spilling a little over the edge as they both turned around to see what the scream was.

The small bee was flying backwards at a quick speed, grabbing his chest slightly before he went crashing into a small tornado replica that Tails had hanging from the roof–both going crashing to the ground in a big heap.

Vector looked rather startled as he grunted his demands to know what was going on. Tails only looked up, sweat dropping at his broken replica before turning his head to where Charmy had been and giving a welcoming smile, almost as if he had been expecting the guest, while Espio, who had been working with him at his work table, had a shuriken tucked between his index and middle finger of his right hand at the ready.

Shadow stood right where the frightened bee had been flying, the ever present frown of contempt on his face as his crimson eyes studied the small heap on floor before ‘hmphing’, walking over to the two tailed kitsune.

‘He must have used Chaos Control to get in and scared Charmy,’ Amy thought to herself with a slight frown as she stood to her feet and made her way over with the rest of the room.

“Hello Mr. Shadow ” Cream greeted happily as she made her way over with Amy. Shadow ignored her in favor of Tails.

“I thought faker was suppose to be here,” he inclined, before his eyes looked around the workshop once more and he frowned in mild interest. “And what happened to your shop?”

“Uh...well...Charmy,” Tails admitted slowly and the small be gave a sheepish laugh from where he was and sweat dropped. “Sorry ”

“And Sonic was here but he went for a run for a while. I didn’t want him in the workshop because I don’t know what the emeralds will do if he’s here. He won’t be back for a few hours.”

‘So THAT’S why he left ’ Amy thought happily, her entire mood perking up lightly. Though where he thought she’d gone was beyond her–sort of. Deep down, she knew where she thought however. Though something else filled her curiosity and before she could stop herself, she turned her attention back to Shadow and asked–or rather blurted: “Why are you looking for Sonic anyway?”

Tails stopped in his explanations and Shadow turned in her direction, as if just realizing she was there. He didn’t say a word, only stared at her with a light frown that seemed to grow the longer he stared at her. Amy didn’t back down, though now she was frowning.

Tails looked between the pair rather nervously. “Huh guys?”

“What are you doing here?” both demanded in unison.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

How? How could he do this to her? After everything they’d done together–after all she’d done to get him here in the first place. With her. How could he just...want to leave?

Rouge let out a small growl as she tried to land one of her trademark kicks right upside Knuckles head, the echidna dodging some blows and blocking others with his arms.

“Rouge ”

“Shut up ” she cried in anger, landing on the tip of her right toe, almost in ballerina fashion before turning around gracefully, kicking her left leg outward, the heel rushing for Knuckle’s abdomen. She didn’t want to hear his excuses. They didn’t matter to her. All that mattered was that he stayed.

The crimson guardian blocked this hit as well, grinding his teeth together in slight annoyance.

“Rouge ,” he growled, catching one of her feet and holding it there, sounding as if he were trying to get her to listen to reason. Reason? Coming from Knuckles? Isn’t that an oxymoron?

“It’s—I– this isn’t–” he rambled. Rouge frowned at him, trying to tug her foot away without falling and Knuckles quickly responded. “I don’t...want...to leave...”

“Then don’t,” Rouge replied exasperated, relaxing her leg so he’d let it down. After complying, she got in a quick low jab to his stomach, making him double over before she stood firm on the ground now, glaring down at the guardian. “You don’t have to leave. You can stay here–I already told you that ”

“I have to find the Master Emerald,” Knuckles reminded her with a slight wheeze.

“Then we’ll go find it,” Rouge hunched slightly, though she tapped her foot in annoyance. “It’s not like I haven’t found the piece before. How hard if finding the whole thing? We go, find it, and put it back where it goes and–”

“Rouge–I can’t come back here,” he cut her off, standing finally to his feet and glaring at her in a serious fashion. “I have a duty– I have to protect the Master Emerald. I can’t–”

“You could if you tried ” she insisted in annoyance. “You don’t have to stay there all the time ”

“Batgirl Why can’t you understand ” he snapped. “I don’t have a choice in this My island is about to fall I can’t just abandon–look. This duty was given to me by my ancestors. It’s an honor and one that I agreed to do to the best of my abilities and I can’t just–just–stop doing it because of you ”

There was a moment at silence as his last words seemed to sink in to both of their minds, Rouge taking a step backward as she looked down at her carpeted floor. She heard him sigh slightly. “...Batgirl...I didn’t–”

“Go,” Rouge snapped matter of factly and pivoting on her heel, but her back to him, crossing her arms over her chest as she closed her eyes and put her nose in the air, her wings up in almost a protective barrier fashion. “Go find your precious emerald. Then you can go sit on a rock and stare at it day in and day out in boredom as much as you want. It’s not like I should care anyway right?”

“Rouge.”

“ Just go.” she snapped angrily, her voice louder than she meant it to be. There was another heavy silence before without saying another word, he left in silence, the door clicking to a close.

Rouge eyes opened slightly, her face faltering as she wings seeming to droop as she uncrossed her arms and let them fall at her sides. ‘That stupid, insensitive, uncaring moron really left.’

She took a few steps forward, toward her couch. ‘That stupid oversized gem actually did mean more to him than I do? There had to be something there–there was something there. I know there was–why would he have bothered to stay so long if there wasn’t? So how could he honestly just ignore that? Ignore me?’

She plopped down on her couch, stilling looking a bit dumbfounded. ‘Okay, so maybe it was important that he gets the emerald back–but why couldn’t he come back after that? Or at least offer to let me come to Angel Island? Have I honestly meant that little to him. Have I been the stupid one this time?’

After a moment longer of sitting in her thoughts, Rouge let out an alarmed gasp and slowly, brought her hand up to her face, right under her eyes. Tears. ‘Tears. Oh great, now I’m –crying?

She could feel the anger rise in her chest as she balled up that same hand, the tears instantly coming to a halt. “No one makes Rouge the Bat cry,” she snapped matter of factly. “And no one–or thing–gets in the way of what Rouge the Bat wants ”

She stood to her feet, her trademark smirk crossing her face, her violet eyes glistening from the collection of tears that hadn’t gotten to fall. “This argument is far from over–no one is going to cast me aside like some common rag doll ”

With this, she stormed into her bed, slamming the door as she prepared to change in to usual attire.

She wasn’t through with Knucklehead–or his stupid Master Emerald– yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Running.

Running was Sonic’s muse–a lifeline in his life he wouldn’t dare dream of living without.

Whenever he had a problem, running was the answer. Rather it was running towards something, running away from something, or running to get his mind flowing and full of thoughts.

So when Tails made the suggestion, he gladly took the bait. And where he had run during this time, he wasn’t even sure anymore.

Everything was a blur anyway and it wasn’t like he actually cared where it was–just as long as there was ground underneath his feet and he had somewhere to go.

And it was during this time, that Sonic’s mind had gone into over drive of the past events of his love life. And the people involved within it. Man, when had his life gone from having great times and stopping Eggman to caring about who’d he’d whether kiss under the moonlight?

Though Tails would have been proud–he actually did a few equations of sort in his head to try and help himself out. And this was probably the most thought he’d ever put into a single subject–not that he was stupid mind you. Sonic was just more of touch and go person. He didn’t give much thought to his actions–he just went with whatever popped up into his head and went on instinct from there. If they didn’t work, he moved on to something else that would. Which was why he avoided love all together–you actually had to put some thought into that a lot of time. And Tails wouldn’t be able to make all the solid plans for him with that or make him stop and think when he was being too rash.

Sonic’s speed slowed down as he got closer to Tail’s Workshop, his mind still in overdrive.

Amy was nice girl. Sweet and kind. A little stubborn but headstrong in just about everything she did. She was always caring about him or anyone really and nearly smothering him with affection though thankfully, she had toned that down a lot lately. And man, could she make a seriously good chili dog.

Any guy would be more than happy to see a girl like Amy coming–and Sonic didn’t like the idea of someone else having what he missed out on. He didn’t like feeling like he might regret something...

And then, there was Shadow. He was actually nice–okay okay, that was laughable so we’ll rephrase that. He’s not as perky as say, Amy or Cream. Or even Tails. But his demeanor could often make him misunderstood very quickly, something Sonic had found out quite quickly. Sweet he wasn’t, but he was serious, strong willed. Just as stubborn, if not more so than Amy. And he could show his feelings just as strongly depending on the situation–though he had a tendency to go the extremes. Like say...trying to destroy an entire planet. And that was never a good thing but Sonic had to admit–it was a nice gesture.

Shadow was the ying to his yang, his complete opposite in sense. And Sonic would only be lying if he said he didn’t like kissing him–the guy had a mean kiss that just sort of did this ‘knock the wind out of you’ thing.

But then again, so did Amy. Sonic smiled slightly. Yeah–Amy had a really nice kiss too. Soft and sweet–just like she was. And her slim body just fit so perfectly in his arms when he held her close...

But in Shadow’s arms, he felt peaceful. Safe. Calm. Protected.

Though if Amy got angry with him, all he had to worry about was surviving blows to the head with a Piko-Piko mallet. When Shadow got upset–well–yeeeah.

Amy had a beautiful smile that could light up an entire room and everyone around her. Shadow’s smile was a treasure, as it wasn’t done often–though it usually just confused everyone and startled planes out of the sky because it was so rare that it simply scared people.

Sonic slowed to a walk as he reached the front door, his gloved hand on the doorknob. Though he didn’t twist and pull the door open. He hesitated a moment longer.

When Amy was upset, it made him upset–guilty– and want to fix things so she would smile again. When Shadow was upset, he still wanted to fix things because Shadow–well– yeeeah–and he’d want him to be calm again.

Amy was like Tails–she never gave up on him, always believed in him. Shadow never said those words but he did show them in his actions some times.

Sonic’s grip tightened on the doorknob as he closed his eyes for a brief moment.

Amy was a excellent cook–seriously, the best chili dogs ever. Shadow was an excellent racing companion–he loved to run with him as he was truly a thrilling and fun rival. And eating and running were two of his favorite hobbies. .

They both had things that made them special yet they both had the same qualities, only each showed said quality in a different light. But which light did he really want to bask in more? Which one did he honestly believe could work? He wouldn’t dare think of long term–nothing was guaranteed and that was just too much–but in the near future? Or even just for a moment...

Then. . .it just all seemed to click. Falling into place like a jigsaw puzzle that took months, maybe even years to complete.

Sonic opened his eyes and groaned a bit. Why hadn’t he realized it before? The answer had always been right in front of him and he had simply ignored it. Geez, sometimes he could be just as clueless as Knuckles...

Sonic took a deep breath and opened the door, stepping into the entry way. He knew exactly what he wanted. Who he wanted...

With a blink of his own eyes, he ran through the house, looking around a bit. Funny–he hadn’t noticed the first time he came that it was a rather messy and a lot of things were broken. But then he’d had a lot on his mind.

Tails was never messy–he was the messy one of the duo. And neither were very clumsy and broke things, as Tails always thought things held some sort of significance But than he remembered who was there with them–and then that all made sense too.

Sonic burst into the room, his face perking up and emerald eyes shining as his sight fell right on the cluster of people in the room, zeroing in on a single person before he called out their name. The entire room turned around, the hedgehog in question first, looking rather confused.

Smiling his trademark smile, Sonic took a step–just one step–before Charmy slowly flew past the group and in front of his view with a small tray holding three colored gems.

Each of which beginning to glow as soon as the small be was directly in front of Sonic, so brightly that the small bee stopped, looking down at the small tray in confusion then up at Sonic before they began to glow brighter.

Each emerald lifted itself off the tray, hovering for a moment before one by one, they began to shoot themselves directly at Sonic’s direction, aiming for his neck.

Sonic could hear a symphony of sounds: a light humming in his ears but he wasn’t sure where it was coming from–Tails screaming that he shouldn’t be there yet–startled cries, gasps, someone telling him to watch out, a cry of pain from Charmy after he tried in vain to stop at least one of emeralds, a little trail of crimson running through his fingers as he floated down to the ground, cradling the hand in question.

Emerald eyes widened in shock before each emerald lunged themselves into place, each taking a spot on his collar, the only spot left directly in the front of collar.

The emeralds dimmed for a moment before causing the entire ring to glow, this time, all six chaos emeralds glowing as they reacted violently to the other energy source.

Sonic’s pupil’s turned completely white as his iris’s once again became the size of a pea. His breath caught in this throat and he froze in silent pain, his lips quiveringly slightly. He could no longer hear the sound of his friends in the room...only hum that grew louder with each passing second–he thought his ears would bleed.

He could feel himself holding his head as he grinded his teeth together, a voice filling hsi head so loud that it completely killed the humming, deafening him. Confusing him.

Hot. He was so hot now–the heat was suffocating him, the burning white heat killing him.

He had to be dying...he couldn’t breath anymore...he couldn’t see anymore. He wasn’t even sure he was moving anymore. All he could feel was heat, the dizzy heat. And hear the deafening voice inside his head, screaming at him with such force his might explode. He’d heard that voice, heard to so many times before. It commanded him. Demanding him. Giving him a order he had to follow...

A piecing scream entered his mind, shattering his thought–was that his own voice sounding like someone was ripping out his soul? He couldn’t tell anymore. All he could feel was burning pain all around, aching in his neck as the voices kept screaming at him. Then. . .

...suddenly it stopped. Just...stopped.

Sonic wheezed in pain as he brought his hands up his face–he hadn’t even realized they were around his neck, though now his white gloves were stained in wine red. They shook slightly in front of him before he shook himself before he heard:

‘Sleep Sonic. You must rest now...you have much to do...’

And almost in slow motion, the ocean blue hedgehog swayed from one side to the next, his hands dropping at his sides as he tried in vain to take a stumbling step forward.
A word he wasn’t even sure of fell from his lips so lightly he couldn’t even hear it before falling to his knees, he crumpled to the ground a heap, the blood smearing the wooden floor beneath him as it seeped from the golden collar.

The last thing he saw was the hedgehog’s look of alarm before the entire group moved with a jolt, before his eyes finally fluttered to a close, the soft hum of his collar welcoming him into sweet, blissful darkness.
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Author's Notes:
Thank you very much for reading and feel free to leave feedback if you like. More to come.