Past Titles

As Commander John Shepard stared ahead rather blankly at the console in his quarters, everything about what had just happened fell into place. The Normandy was officially a stolen prototype warship and he and her crew would probably be thrown out of the military or worse for mutiny. That was if they survived. Shepard was surprisingly calm, come to think of it. A gentle resignation had washed over him just a short while ago and he realized two things: his military career was over and he and his crew were possibly headed to their doom. The normally confident, self assured Commander’s faith in himself was just a little shaken at the moment and he admittedly could have used a little reassurance.

Almost on cue, the door to his quarters chirped and opened and Ash walked in. It was immediately and oddly soothing, and the simple act of her walking into the room made him feel better, bolstered. He stood.

“Skipper,” Ash started. It prompted a laugh from Shepard.

“I think we’re a little past titles, don’t you?” he said. Technically, it was true. Everything that had just happened in the past few hours made titles, regulations, the chain of command, everything seem completely obsolete. He was officially no more her commander now than he was a Hanar. He leaned on his desk and crossed his arms.

Ash smiled just slightly. “Yeah I guess we are,” she said. “So now we’re just…” She shrugged. “…a bunch of glorified pirates that shouldn’t even be wearing these uniforms right?” Shepard had to smile. “Just call us humanity’s best and brightest.” Ash concluded. He could hear the cheerful sarcasm in her voice. As much as Ash put on her mildly entertained, effortlessly apathetic coolness, Shepard knew it was just an act. He’d figured out her habits, and her defenses. And he knew she was here because she was worried about what was to come.

Shepard sighed. “I keep telling myself we’re doing the right thing.” Shepard said. He shook his head. He suddenly realized how worried he was as well. He looked down and scoffed. “I don’t believe me yet,” he said. He’d found over the course of their time together that he hadn’t even tried to hide his thoughts from Ash. She had become the closest thing to a confidante that he had and often times he found himself sharing small things with her that he hadn’t even thought about in years.

Ash stepped closer to him. “Then believe me, Shepard. You’re doing the right thing.” She took a breath. “Death closes all: but something ere the end, Some work of noble note, may yet be done, not unbecoming men that strove with Gods.” She smiled a smile of complete faith. And while Shepard was not a particular fan of poetry, he both appreciated and found it meaningful in reference to their situation. He was touched. “We’ll get home again, Shepard,” Ash continued. “I believe you’ll lead us through.”

He watched her swallow and take a deep breath. She stepped closer to him again, suddenly well within his personal space. It was an overwhelming comfort just having her near. Mixed with that comfort came an unavoidable, reflexive pang of desire for her. It happened whenever she stood close to him. It was electric. She found his eyes. “You’ll always be the skipper to me. Oh Captain, my Captain.” Her voice was soft.

Something changed then in the air. Shepard knew exactly what, and he knew he was about to mount a battle with his self restraint that he’d already decided he was going to lose. He’d decided it as soon as she’d walked in. He stood up straight in front of her.

“Is rank all you see when you look at me?” he asked softly, noticing the small, perfectly placed freckle on her right cheek.

She smiled. "No," she whispered. “I see a strong, passionate man. A man I'm proud to follow."

"I don't always want to lead you, Ash," Shepard's voice was low, slightly husky. The hint of his desire for her coming through it.

Ash looked down and for a moment Shepard thought he might have said something wrong. But when her eyes found his again they glistened with tears.

"I’m a fighter, Shepard,” she said. “It's who I am. My whole life I’ve had to fight for what I want,” she said. She was being straight with him. And he just looked at her silently as she spoke. “And not once have I ever felt like I was worth what I was fighting for.” She seemed almost choked up, and Shepard made note of his arms, still diligently at his sides. “You make me feel good enough,” Ash said quietly. It was an epic admission for Ash, a stark, simple, massively vulnerable statement, and it forced a wealth of different reactions to swell inside of Shepard. He felt happy to make her feel that way, sad and angry that she didn’t feel it more. But mostly Shepard felt something else. He felt an overwhelming need to taste her mouth, touch her face, hold her close. He knew in that second as he looked in her eyes that they would spend the night together, and then he couldn’t hesitate any longer.

Her face felt fragile in his hands, placed on her opposite cheeks. The feel of her skin on his was smooth and soft. He brought his lips to hers softly and quickly. He knew she wouldn’t protest, but the urgency he felt was intense as he pressed against her, and he found himself fighting the urge to devour her entirely. Her lips were full and warm and they parted to reciprocate. He felt her light warm breath mingle with his. The kiss was not timid, but it was slow and sweet. As they parted and their eyes met again Shepard’s entire body prompted him to kiss her again, this time more forcefully.

Time stopped for Shepard. This moment was the culmination of nearly a year of wanting to touch her. Both of their bodies relaxed into each other, relieved that it had finally happened. As they settled comfortably into their long awaited series of kisses, Shepard’s mind raced. His tongue mingled with hers. His hands found her back. Hers found his strong shoulders. Her fingers caressed the back of his neck lightly, sending shock waves through his body. He pulled her closer, pressing her against him, the soft give of her breasts only reminding him that they were wearing too many clothes. One of his hands entangled itself in her hair at the base of her practical military bun. It jostled it loose enough that she reached up with one hand and quickly let her hair down, allowing his fingers better access to it and releasing the sweet fragrance of the shampoo she used. He buried his fingers in her long, dark locks, gripping gently.

Ash was clearly as desperate as he was, her kisses becoming deeper and more breathless as her hands came to be pressed against Shepard’s strong chest. His heart pounded in his ears as Ash pushed him a step back. His back hit the wall hard, prompting a small muffled “umf” to escape his mouth into hers. Her full lips smiled and she caught his bottom lip between her teeth for just a second. He smiled too as he remembered a silly comment she’d made months ago about being a hellcat off the battlefield too. She yanked his shirt up over his head. Her short fingernails dragged lightly down his chest and torso, leaving a trail of very light, tingling scratches. Her unbridled enthusiasm excited him even more and he allowed her to dominate him against the wall for just a moment before swiftly switching positions with her. He grabbed her hard and spun her around, pinning her against the wall with even greater force. She gasped excitedly at his display of strength and Shepard somehow knew that both of them liked to dominate. It would be about give and take, surrendering and overpowering. The thought made the palms of his hands throb. Regardless of the little time they had together, Shepard was going to take it slow.

Her body arched against his. Her breath was harsh and ragged. He pulled his lips from hers and looked at her. A small smile crept onto her face as the tip of her tongue grazed his upper lip. She was teasing him. Her hands moved to his hips and pulled his hardness against her. Their mouths close, but untouching, breathing into each other, Shepard quickly balled the fabric of her shirt in his hands and pulled it up over her. He quickly discarded it and glanced down to the revealed, simple black bra that housed a pair of round, perky breasts. When his lips met her throat, she cooed and shivered, her nails pushing gently into his shoulder blades.

He wasted no time in undoing her pants and as he did so, she used him for balance as she kicked off her boots. He kissed her mouth again as he pulled slowly downward on her pants. When they passed her hips they fell almost on their own and Shepard couldn't resist reaching behind her to cup and squeeze one of her cheeks in his hand. Through the cotton fabric of her black panties he grabbed and held the firm round flesh in his hand.

He vocalized a soft, short groan when he felt the palm of Ash's hand on the front of his pants. She gripped him tightly through the fabric of his pants and he decided he needed to get the rest of her clothes off immediately. He knelt down slowly before her, his eyes at the level of her hips. As he did he slowly pulled her pants down, revealing more of her toned, long legs. He looked up at her, met her eyes as he helped her step out of one leg, then the other, removing her socks along with her pants. When they were discarded Shepard turned his attention the leg he still held and kissed the inner part of her knee softly. As he rose to stand again he paused to kiss the sensitive spot where her leg met with her torso. She laughed and shifted a little. Shepard smiled.

When he stood again to face her, his arms on either side of her, hands pressed against the wall, they looked at each other. Their mouths close, but again not kissing, Ash quickly unbuckled Shepard’s belt and pants. With her fingertips pressed gently on the skin just above his belt, just below his belly button, she stepped forward. He stepped back. They moved like this until the back of Shepard’s legs felt the bed behind him.

Placing a small, teasing kiss on his lips, Ash undertook the task of dropping Shepard’s pants. They fell easily to his calves and his cock felt relieved of the tightness of them. It pulsed under his boxer briefs. Shepard was taken by surprise then as Ash pressed his chest and forced him backwards. He fell onto the bed and she yanked the rest of his pants off, tossing them to the side. They both laughed.

Then as he met her eyes, everything slowed into a clear, resounding focus. His eyes stayed locked on hers in an affectionate smolder as she removed her final coverings slowly. Her bra was first. She slipped out of it, dropping it to the floor. Her breasts were perfect. They were smallish and pert, with a full round shape. Shepard found himself thinking it was a shame that they were always so covered with armor.
She removed her panties next, drawing the fabric down to reveal herself. Shepard’s eyes moved to her hairless middle, already flushed pink with her need for him. He ached for her.

He met her eyes again then. Shepard was certain in that moment that Ash was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. The orange glow from his desktop console danced over her slim curves. They stared at each other intently for a voluminous moment until he couldn’t wait anymore.

“Get over here,” he ordered quietly. A small, sexy smile snuck onto her face as she climbed onto the bed, moving cat-like and gracefully up the length of his body. Her hands rested on his shoulders as she brought her face close to his, hovering just above, and then he slowly wrapped his arms around her, taking note of every inch of her delicate flesh under his fingers. He rolled them both over, and took another moment to gaze down on her face before he kissed her again. Here brown eyes were dark with arousal, her cheeks warm and pink, her lips already parted and panting.
As they kissed, Ash moved under him, spreading her legs so he could nestle himself between them. She ground her hips up into his still tragically covered member. She sighed and whimpered into his mouth. Suddenly he longed to hear her breath, her voice. He wanted to taste her. His lips traveled downward to her chest, her breasts, her small pink nipples, down her strong, perfectly toned torso, eliciting small sounds of approval from her. He licked just under her ribcage, prompting a small spasm and giggle. She was ticklish there. It made him laugh.

When he reached his destination, her kissed her mound, the inside of her upper thigh, the skin around her neat, pink folds.

“Kiss me please,” He barely heard it, the words distorted by breathy desperation. Shepard was not a man to tease too much, so he was more than happy to submit to her request. The soft cry she released when he finally touched his lips and tongue to her drove him crazy. She was wet, slick, warm and tasted sweet. Shepard used his lips and tongue softly and slowly on her, circling, licking, kissing, coaxing more and more small cries from Ash’s lips. The heel of one of Ash’s feet pressed into the area between his shoulder blades and after a short time, he felt her hips begin to roll with his technique, felt her hand rest lightly on his head. She was close to orgasm. Her movements and breath proved it. Finally he felt her whole body shudder as she whimpered and moaned. He felt her twitch and quiver and moisten more under his mouth and tongue, the taste of her pulling a low, soft “mm” from his lips. When her voice sounded sufficiently tortured, he stopped.

He kissed her inner thigh and sat up, now unable to stop his fierce desire to fuck her. She sat up with him as he removed his boxer briefs finally, the air of the room cooling his erection. He was on his knees, Ash before him, now also on her knees. She kissed him hard, still drunk with ecstasy, then wasted no time in bending down to take him in her mouth. It happened so suddenly it brought a surprised groan to his lips. Her hands rested on his hips. He watched her, her hot wet mouth and plump lips moving expertly over his head and shaft. Shepard was larger than average if not remarkably huge so when she was able to take all of him into her mouth to his base he couldn’t stop himself from breathing her name and touching her face.

He couldn’t take it anymore. He touched both sides of her face and pulled her up to kiss him. Passion took a slight detour as they embraced, pressing their naked skin against each other for the first time. Shepard felt an unsurprising wash of affection for Ash as he pulled her close, their mouths still locked in a tender kiss.
Ash pulled away. “I want you inside me,” she whispered. Shepard realized they were words he’d been dying to hear for months. He appreciated that Ash was a woman that wasn’t shy about telling him what she wanted. He had never been a talker in bed himself much. He was generally pretty quiet during lovemaking, but he got the feeling Ash was vocal, and it drove him wild.

Ash turned quickly and pressed her back against Shepard. He kissed her neck. She took his hand and placed it on her middle. He rested it there, relishing the heat from it. She arched her back and pressed her perfect ass against his cock, rubbing slightly.

“Now,” Ash whispered into his mouth. He needed no more prompting. She arched more, allowing him access from behind. He positioned himself at her nearly dripping opening, the heat from it on the head of his cock intoxicating. He kissed her mouth as he pushed slowly inside of her until he could go no further. Through her nose came a strained noise of pleasurable pain. Shepard breathed out sharply too at the tightness of her. He thrust slowly a few times, kissing the side of her face, one arm wrapped around her still upright frame, one hand resting on the curve of her hip. After a moment Ash lowered herself to a bent position, placing one of her hands on the bed below her. Her other one held Shepard’s hand on her hip. He intertwined his fingers with hers as he moved slowly inside of her. He caressed her perfect back, her soft skin, ran his fingers along the back of her neck and gently into her hair. She looked back at him. She was moving with him now, rolling her hips in a synchronized rhythm with him. Moans escaped her. Shepard felt dizzy as her volume increased and her hips moved more hungrily. She released his hand on her hip and it joined the other one in front of her for leverage. Shepard increased his speed slightly, sliding easily in and out of her. She was so wet, so tight, so hot on him.

“OhfuckI’mgonnacum,” Ash whimpered quickly and breathlessly and then she did. Shepard groaned and closed his eyes at the feeling of her orgasm. She cried out, rolled her hips hard, clenched and released him over and over. She felt amazing, sounded amazing, looked amazing. He could have come then, but stopped himself.

As she came down from her euphoria she looked back at him and smiled. Her back had sheen of delicious looking sweat on it. Her cheeks were red. She breathed heavily. Shepard could tell she would need a short break from him. Her climax had been incredibly intense. He withdrew from her slowly, then moved to lay her down on her stomach. She did, still breathing hard and smiling.

He hovered over her, kissed her cheek. She was so damn hot he couldn’t stand it. He moved her long tousled hair from the back of her neck and kissed it. He kissed her shoulder, and between her shoulder blades. He left a trail of soft kisses down her back, running his fingers lightly across her slightly salty skin. He kissed one of her perfectly round cheeks, grabbed it with one hand, squeezed, then playfully bit her there gently, prompting a squeak and a breathless laugh from her.

She rolled and sat up then, meeting his mouth with hers. She kissed him deeply and then rolled him over onto his back. Their lovemaking changed then as she straddled him and pushed herself onto him again slowly. It slowed, becoming more obviously about the connection the two of them shared. They watched each other’s eyes as she rode him slowly. He closed his, tilted his head back and then felt her lips on his neck, her breasts pressed against him as she moved. His hands roamed, explored, traveling her thighs, her hips, her back, waist and breasts. She arched her back and sat back, letting her head fall behind her, her hands resting on Shepard’s thighs as she writhed like liquid on top of him.

She whispered his name once between her sighs of pleasure. She would come again soon, he realized. He sat up to meet her, let her hands use his strong shoulders to aid in her movement. Her fingertips dug into his flesh intermittently with each pang of pleasure that rocked her. With one hand her grabbed one of her ass cheeks, aiding her movement, delighting in the soft flesh under his palm. His other hand rested firmly on her back. He kissed her throat, then her mewling lips. He watched her eyes on his as she came then. Her breath quickened and she whimpered. This orgasm seemed less intense than the last two and lasted longer than her other ones. He could feel his own climax building, could feel his cock start to warm and twitch with the prelude to his eruption. His own breath became ragged and guttural as she touched his face, kissed his lips.

He rolled them both over quickly until he was on top of her, close to her. He thrust and panted as she bent her legs, her heels now pressing on his muscular behind, pulling him into her desperately. His hand pressed hers into the bed next to them and their fingers intertwined. They both squeezed and clung to each other.

“Come inside me,” Ash’s hot breath whispered into his ear. It sent him plummeting over the edge with a low groan. He felt his cock burst and convulse, felt his whole body tense, felt his hot cum spill into the incredible woman below him. He thrust with each copious spurt, releasing a couple of short loud moans.

Ash pulled him close as he breathed into her neck and he finally collapsed partially on top of her, exhausted. He brought his head up to look at her, caressed her cheek. Her eyes looked moist. Her face looked exquisite. She looked as if she wanted to say something, but wordless, breathlessness was all that came forth. Shepard realized he must have been making a similar face, because then Ash smiled up at him and kissed his still panting lips. He smiled back, then rested his forehead on hers and closed his eyes.

After taking a moment for both of them to catch their breath, Shepard placed two short, tender kisses on Ash’s phenomenal lips. He then moved to the side of her and lay on his side.

As they lay next to each other Shepard found his fingertips tracing light lines on Ash’s chest, breasts and stomach. She grinned at him.

“What?” he asked her.

She shook her head. “I wasn’t gonna say anything,” she responded.

“First time for everything,” he teased gently. His fingers found the ticklish spot under her ribcage he’d discovered and she jumped and giggled. She bit the shoulder that was next to her head. “Ow!” he whispered sharply. They laughed a little. He kissed her softly.

“Well this certainly complicates things,” Ash said quietly. Her face fell a little and Shepard could tell she was worried. He moved a piece of her dark hair away from her face and sighed.

“Doesn’t seem all that complicated at the moment,” he said quietly. His fingers traced her collarbone. “We’ll worry about it when we get back,” he added.

“If we get back,” she whispered.

They looked at each other then. He didn’t really know what to say to her, how to calm her fears. He had the same fears. There was no way to dance around the possibility that this mission was fucked. “We will,” he finally decided upon. It seemed to reassure her.

She looked so vulnerable now, lying naked next to him, worry on her face. This was the side of Ash few were privileged enough to see, he thought. He felt lucky. They would have to sort out their feelings for each other later, but Shepard knew this was special to say the least. Real.

“God you’re beautiful,” Shepard whispered. He wasn’t usually a flatterer and he knew generally Ash wasn’t receptive to sappy stuff, but he couldn’t help himself then. She was beautiful. There was no denying it.

Ash smiled warmly at him and moved closer to him. She placed her hand on his chest. He caught it, brought it to his mouth and kissed her palm. She rested it on his cheek then. He pulled her close.

“How far out are we?” She asked quietly. She sounded sleepy.

“Five hours maybe,” he said. He could see sleep creeping onto her face. He was starting to feel it too. “Should try to sleep,” he whispered. Ash smiled at him and snuggled up next to him. She closed her eyes and smiled, lulled to sleep by her afterglow.

It didn’t take long for him to realize she’d dozed off. He ran a thumb over her elegant cheekbone. He felt relaxed, surprisingly stress-free. He knew he wouldn’t sleep. Even with his exhaustion his mind would still be racing for the next couple of hours. He would lie there awhile, and then carefully sneak out of bed to do some work.
But for now he would lie still and enjoy the feeling of Ash’s breath making her body rise and fall slightly. He would commit to memory the feeling of her warm skin pressed against his. Silently, as his brain resumed its constant calculations he went ahead and added one more item to his list of reasons they needed to succeed in their mission.