The Miracle Potion

Banjo Kazooie

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Banjo-Kazooie related, but the video game. (SO FUN!) And I do not make a profit off of the writing of this story.

Story Summary: An interesting, new spell of Humba Wumba’s turns both Banjo and Kazooie into humans! While Humba tries to come up with a concoction to turn them back to normal, Banjo and Kazooie decide to experiment their new bodies by experiencing their love for one another.

I am a huge fan of the Banjo-Kazooie games and as I searched under Games here on adult-fanfiction.org, I was surprised to find a section for Banjo-Kazooie. There weren’t many stories of it up, so I decided to write this short story. ENJOY!

--

The Miracle Potion: Part 1

-

The days seemed less cloudy than usual. It had been only five weeks since the evil witch, Gruntilda, and her two meddling sisters were destroyed, thanks to the heroic Banjo and Kazooie. Now, the lands of Spiral Mountain, Jinjo Village, and the Isle’o’Hags were finally beginning to rest easily.

Many of the lands’ villagers were continuing their lives peacefully, not even daring to bring up Gruntilda or her sisters as a topic for conversation.

Yes, things were finally looking up, and the lands had Banjo, the great honey bear, and Kazooie, the feisty crested breegul, to thank.

However, even though many had moved on with their lives, there were those few who continued life as they had, including Mumbo Jumbo and Humba Wumba. Both continued conjuring spells, competing against each other for the greater victory. They’d even throw tournaments for entertainment across the land, using spells to turn talking trees into talking bricks, or they’d see who could make an innocent goldfish breath fresh air the longest. In most cases, Humba would beat Mumbo. Her spells did seem the most powerful. Mumbo would grieve in disproval, and demand re-challenges. And there were times that Mumbo’s spells would gain victory over Humba’s. Then, it’d be Humba’s turn to pout.

Still, the two continued competing. But never did they realize the miracle that a potion could cause.

-

One cool evening, Humba sat pondering her next spell. Using the power of tiny creatures called glowbos, she had, in the past, transformed her two great allies, Banjo and Kazooie, into many things in order to get through many of Gruntilda’s traps. They had helped them successfully. And they helped, according to Humba, a lot more than Mumbo’s spells ever did. But all she did was transform them into miscellaneous, everyday items. Mumbo transformed Banjo and Kazooie into animals, from a tiny termite to a buzzing bee. Humba wanted to make a spell that would be similar, but a bigger, better animal!

What could beat a buzzing bee? What could beat a wheezy walrus or a snapping crocodile?

Humba knew she’d find the answer!

While she mixed red with blue, green with orange, and pink with purple, she continued her everlasting experiments in order to beat Mumbo Jumbo at his own type of spell usage.

“What Humba need do now?” Humba asked herself. She stared down at a bowl filled to the brim with purple goop. “No good. Humba not do it right. If Humba not find the answer, Mumbo will beat her in another game. No! Must not give up. Humba will beat Mumbo!” And Humba fliped through pages of her books, pouring an inch of this or an ounce of that into many separate bowls. She tried many spells, from terrifying tiger to massive elephant. Tiger was too fierce, and elephant was too large!

“Giving up is no option,” Humba smiled. “What good animal that not even Mumbo think of? Humba must think…” And as she thought, Humba took a glance at her small, tanned hand. Her four fingers tapped on the table as her thumb rested nicely against it. Staring at her hand, Humba began to get an idea of an animal she knew and understood very well. Something she was quite familiar with.

She knew!

“That it!”

Humba acted quickly, mixing a blue powder with a pink powder. She shook both powders into a fine yellowy liquid, watching them mix to form black. Finally, her spell was complete. “This will beat Mumbo, definitely. Humba must place spell in pool, quickly!” And Humba did just that, mixing the substance in with her pool.

All she needed now was a guinea pig to test her mixture.

Or, two guinea pigs, whom she knew very, very well.

“Must fetch bear and bird.”

--

Meanwhile, far across the land, at Spiral Mountain, a very familiar crested breegul sat, bathing in the sun. She was Kazooie, Banjo’s best friend. She finally had rid herself of that awful blue backpack. It’s not that she didn’t mind living in it. It’s just really cramped in there!

But in honesty, Kazooie did love the backpack. It belonged to Banjo the honey bear. And Kazooie held a secret in her heart, one not even Banjo knew.

What was her secret?

Kazooie had a crush on that silly honey bear. She did not know how, nor why. All she knew was that she knew. She had spent many times with him. After all, they had lived in the same house for over two years. Ever since that day when she got lost and broke her wing. Banjo had found her cradling underneath a gloomy coconut tree one rainy night. He had gone out to take out his trash, and just had this strong feeling in his gut that someone was in trouble. He had a great sniffing nose, and he had found Kazooie.

He carried her to his house, and he helped to mend her wing. He got help from Tooty, his little sister. Immediately, Kazooie knew Tooty was a good kid, and immediately Kazooie knew that Banjo would make an outstanding friend. Since that day, Kazooie had found a new home to live in, since before that time, she was a loner and had nowhere else to go.

Now, four long years had passed. She and Banjo had found many fun adventures. And the most biggest of all was when the awful witch, Gruntilda, kidnapped Tooty in order to become beautiful. Tooty was a very pretty bear, and since she’d been kidnapped, she’d become much more beautiful, turning the eyes of many male honey bears. Banjo, being the big brother he was, would step in to make sure his sister was safe from those eyeing bears. Kazooie always got a good laugh whenever Banjo would punch one right on the snout. Banjo had toughened up since battling Gruntilda, Kazooie noticed. To her joy, Kazooie knew many things about that great honey bear that no one else knew.

He was clever, as many would not think him to be. But Kazooie knew his intelligence. He had found her, after all, using his amazing snout. He also helped with cooking and cleaning.

Still, after all the two had been through, Kazooie never dared tell Banjo of her feelings. She knew he would not accept, for they were too different. He was a bear! She was a bird! A love could never form between them. Kazooie knew she had to accept her fate, a fate of being friends with the bear, and that was that.

“Bird?”

Her thoughts escaping her, Kazooie looked up in hopes that Banjo had returned from his fishing trip with Mumbo Jumbo. But instead, she found Humba Wumba looking down on her. Since Humba was female, Kazooie had no fun nicknames for the spell user. “Hi. What brings you to Spiral Mountain?”

“Humba has new spell, hoping you would give it a try.”

“Another one?” Kazooie groaned. “When are you and Hut Boy going to stop the madness?”

“But Humba got good this time,” she smiled. “Humba come up with major concoction not even Mumbo could do.”

Kazooie hated to admit it, but she was curious. She stood to her stick-skinny feet, and folded her wings behind her. “Really? What’s the spell do?”

“It big,” Humba said proudly, curling a piece of black hair around her finger. “It turn bird and her bear friend into greatest creatures in world!”

“Greatest creatures in the world, eh?” Kazooie gave off a cute chirping giggle. “And what creatures are those?”

“Bird find out, but first must retrieve bear. Meet Humba at her hut back in Jinjo Village.”

“Sounds like fun,” Kazooie nodded. “Alright, fine. I’ll get Banjo and we’ll come see you.”

Humba said her thanks before turning and walking back through the cave leading into Jinjo Village. Meanwhile, Kazooie spotted a familiar brown fuzz in the distance, making its way towards her. She knew it was Banjo. He came up the road, carrying a tiny cooler and fishing pole. Upon his head sat a tan fishing hat with a hole in it. Kazooie waved at him with her wing, and he waved back as he jogged up the road.

“Hiya Kazooie,” Banjo sat down his cooler and fishing pole. “Today the fish were really biting. I caught four big ones! Sadly, Mumbo only got one. But it was funny, you should’ve seen what he did. He took out his wand, ready to zap the fish, but he got wet and accidentally electrocuted his self! Jam Jars and I never got a better laugh! You should’ve come with…”

“That’s okay, Banjo,” smiled Kazooie. “You know I ain’t into fishing.”

“Yeah, I know.” Banjo opened the cooler. “Well, looks like its fish for dinner.”

“I guess so.” Kazooie fidgeted her wings. Banjo looked at her with worry. He knew something was wrong, cause anytime Kazooie fidgeted her wings, something was on her mind.

“What’s wrong, Kazooie?”

“Oh! Uh…” Many of times Kazooie had lied to Banjo. Mainly when she fidgeted, it was her pondering her crush on the honey bear. And every time she’d lie, saying the weather was putting her down or something had irritated her, or even that she forgot to do a chore. This time, Humba’s words bothered her, but this time, she knew she could not lie to Banjo. “Well, Humba just left after you came back. She said she has a knew spell she wants to try on us, and I told her we’d go right over as soon as I got a hold of you.”

“Another one, huh?” Banjo sighed, giving off a stretch. “What do you think it’ll be this time?”

“Don’t know,” Kazooie shrugged. “But Humba said it's huge! She said she’s gonna transform us into creatures not even Mumbo would have thought of.”

“Ooh! Sounds like fun.” Banjo looked at the fish he caught. He smiled. “Well, we have a while before dinner. Do you want to go and see what she has in store for us?”

Kazooie cackled, a laugh Banjo had grown fond of. “Sure! I could always go for a next adventure.”

And so, after Kazooie hopped into Banjo’s backpack, the two made their way for Humba Wumba’s hut, now located in Jinjo Village.

--

Greeted by the Jinjos, Banjo and Kazooie waved before entering Humba’s hut. She lifted her head from the book she was reading, and the moment she knew who her guests were, she smiled triumphantly. “Bear and bird! Please come in!”

“Good evening, Humba Wumba.” Banjo greeted as Kazooie jumped out of his backpack. “How are you today?”

“Humba great! Make new spell for bear and bird to try.” Humba Wumba stood to her feet. The scents of potions and brews, and the enchantment of her pool filled Banjo’s and Kazooie’s nostrils to the brim.

Banjo pulled a shiny pink creature from his backpack. He held it out for Humba to see. “We’ve got a glowbo.”

Humba stared at the glowbo for a moment. Both Banjo and Kazooie were expecting her to say, “Good, throw creature in pool,” but she did not.

“Glowbo not powerful enough,” Humba said flatly. “Set aside!”

At that, both Banjo and Kazooie’s jaws dropped. A glowbo is not powerful enough? What exactly was this ‘spell’ Humba was about to do? But obeying, Banjo set the glowbo free. He and Kazooie stood ready to jump into the pool, but Humba ordered them to not! At least, not yet.

“For crying out loud!” Kazooie shouted. “Humba, why are we even here? We brought the glowbo, but you said, “No!” We are willing to jump into your pool, and you still say, “No!” What are we supposed to do?”

“For this spell,” Humba began, “Both bear and bird are to take turns. Bird go first, bear follows. But bear must wait outside.”

Again, the friend’s mouths dropped. Kazooie turned to Banjo. He had turned to her too, looking confused. Shrugging, Banjo obeyed orders and left to wait outside. Kazooie turned to Humba, glaring daggers. “Okay, Humba, this better be worth what you’re making us do!”

“Believe Humba when she say it is, my bird friend.” Humba went to her drawer, and pulled a tiny something out of it. Kazooie took notice of a tiny glowing worm. “What in the name of dancing twinklies is that?”

“This,” Humba began, “Is glow worm. It what will help with spell.”

“Huh?” Kazooie giggled. “We bring you a glowbo, but you said it wasn’t powerful enough! And now, you bring out this tiny little worm? Humba, are you feeling alright?”

“Humba is fine! Now listen to Humba!” Kazooie held her ground, even if Humba’s shouts had startled her. Cooling down, Humba continued. “Now, Humba has come up with spell to use on bear and bird separately, instead of forming the two together. Unlike termite, crocodile, pumpkin, or bee. Unlike dynamite, T-rex, snowball, or washing machine. Bird and her bear friend will be the same creature, but each with your own bodies.”

Kazooie looked surprised. “Are you serious?”

“Humba serious,” Humba nodded, looking quite proud. She tossed the little glow worm into the pool. It burst into life. Smiling, Humba grabbed one of her free dresses, a nice brown dress covered in beads, from a small chest. She rested it on her chair, and then she pulled out a small, tan-colored towel. Finally, Humba Wumba said: “Spell ready. Bird hop in!”

Rather confused, Kazooie knew she could not rewind all that had happened thus far. She stared into the bubbling pool filled with purple, pink, and black liquid. She did not understand the dress nor towel, but she still held a huge feeling of curiosity deep in her heart. She knew she wanted to jump!

And so she did!

A huge splash echoed the room. Kazooie went underwater, suddenly feeling her body going through the change. Her feathers began fading, her beak and legs followed as she underwent the transformation of a lifetime! Soon she came up from the pool, dazed and confused by what had just occurred. She coughed, trying to flap but finds she cannot. Something is covering her eyes! Kazooie felt afraid, then, and began to shout Humba’s name.

“Bird fine,” Humba leaned over pool, pushing aside red hairs. Kazooie was soon able to see. She looked up at Humba, who was holding out the towel. “You come out now, let bear have his turn. Wrap this around body. Okay?”

Kazooie reached out for the towel, and finally she understood what she had become. She stared in awe as four visible peach fingers and one thumb wiggled in front of her. She quickly got out of the pool, wrapping the towel around her nude, shivering body. She raced for Humba’s mirror to take a look.

She nearly fainted at what she saw.

There, staring back at her was a rather cute, yet lovely young human female. That was her! No longer having feathers, Kazooie saw bright red hair falling just to her shoulders. No longer having a beak, Kazooie saw a perfect peach nose resting underneath her two oval blue eyes. No longer having skinny, chicken legs, Kazooie saw perfectly nice peach, smooth legs with feet and all ten toes. Even more fascinated, Kazooie opened the towel to gaze upon her new naked form. She was greeted by a set of perfectly oval breasts. Though small, she took notice of her rather perky pink nipples. They even jiggled a bit as she moved her arms. And even further down was she intrigued by the smoothness hidden behind a small patch of red hair.

“What did you do to me?” Kazooie asked, sounding more shocked than mad.

“Humba turn bird into human,” Humba smiled proudly. “Bird like?”

“Do I like…?” Kazooie paused. Does she like this new look? It was rather interesting. “I -- I don’t know.”

Kazooie found herself being turned around. Humba threw the dress that had sat on her chair into Kazooie’s arms. “No worrying. Go put this on in back. Bear must have his turn before spell wears away. Hurry!”

“Yeah,” Kazooie took the dress and made her way into a small back room of Humba’s tepee (how did that get there!)

Going outside, Humba called in Banjo. He followed her back into the tepee. He looked around, seeing no sign of his feathered friend. Or -- his once feathered friend. “Where’s Kazooie?”

“She okay. Bear no worry about his friend. Bear must jump into pool. Quickly!”

Shrugging, Banjo obeyed orders. He hopped in with a larger splash than Kazooie. He began feeling strange as he watched his fur disappear. He felt his body growing taller -- he could feel his muscles getting larger. His snout began to disappear, as well as his paws. Soon, Banjo, too, came shooting up from the pool. He quickly exited the pool, not yet noticing the change.

Humba smiled. “Spell complete. Bear look in mirror now?”

Banjo stepped over to the mirror. He nearly fell back by his own reflection. No longer was he a short, stubby honey bear. He now stood as a tall, lean human! He stared down. His shorts, a bit small, held tightly against whatever lie beneath. His blue backpack rested neatly behind him. No longer having fur, Banjo noticed smooth, brown hairs on his head, wildly forming over his head. He also had a few tiny brown hairs on his now firm chest. His blue eyes were oval, and he no longer had paws, but hands and feet, covered with movable fingers, thumbs, and toes.

“Humba,” Banjo turned to his Indian friend. “Humba, this is…”

“Is bear impressed with Humba’s human spell?”

Banjo could only nod as Humba handed him a towel. He wiped himself dry, and was soon handed a brown shirt. He took off his backpack, and put on the shirt, following brown pants he had come up and over his blue shorts.

Without either Banjo or Humba noticing, Kazooie had emerged from the backroom. She now wore the dress Humba had offered her. It fit perfectly around her new human form. It made her look very lovely. But she could not help but stare over Banjo. His transformation -- he was handsome! He was handsome as ever! She drooled at the very sight of him, watching him fit on the clothes Humba had to offer.

Slowly, Kazooie stepped out. “Banjo?”

Banjo looked up, hearing Kazooie’s familiar voice. His eyes widened at the sight of her. He couldn’t believe his eyes! She was human, too! “Kazooie? Is that really you?”

Smiling, Kazooie nodded. She walked next to Banjo, still admiring his dashing new form. She had only hoped he noticed her new style, as well. Well, he obviously noticed, but not in the way she had hoped. He grabbed her hands, dancing the two of them in a circle. “Look at us! Look at us! Wow! This is so fun!”

As Kazooie was spun, Humba Wumba began to laugh! She glanced at her raccoon clock. The time read 3:48 PM. She knew she had to show off her spell’s powers -- that day! “Humba has beat Mumbo this round! Come, human friends. Follow Humba to victory!”

While laughing, Banjo dragged a frustrated Kazooie behind Humba as they left the tepee.

--

“Many animals and friends of Spiral Mountain, Jinjo Village, and Isle’o’Hags. Humba must welcome you to the showing of Humba’s greatest spell yet! Humba definitely beat that old shaman this round! Please take seats, and get ready for great show!”

All creatures piled in the grass. They sat in front of a big stage Humba had made appear with her magic. Behind the curtains stood anxious Banjo and Kazooie. They both couldn’t wait to see Mumbo Jumbo’s face when Humba announced them.

In the audience sat Bottles and family, including Jam Jars. Mumbo made his way through the crowd. He shouted, “What Humba doing?” as he got on the stage.

Humba flicked her hair back. She walked up to Mumbo and laughed in his face. “Humba got show to put on. Mumbo sit in audience. Humba has beat Mumbo this time.”

“What? What Humba talk about? What Mumbo miss?”

“You soon see,” laughed Humba. Mumbling, Mumbo went into the crowd, taking a seat beside Bottles.

“Please quiet,” Humba soon shouted. “And enjoy Humba’s show!” She walked to the left of the stage before turning to face her eager audience again. She tapped on her microphone, and shouted, “Allow Humba to introduce bear and bird like you never seen them before!”

And swiftly, both Banjo and Kazooie shot out of the curtain, dressed in the nice clothes Humba had provided for them. They got many ooh’s, aw‘s, gasps, and dropping jaws. Mumbo’s jaw dropped the furthest as Humba yelled, “Introducing human bear and bird!”

“That’s right, we’re human!” Kazooie beamed. She pranced around stage, shaking and showing off her dazzling new look. “Check it! Uh huh!”

Banjo laughed by his friends expressions. “And we’re separated too! How neat is that?”

Bottles covered his children’s eyes, as his wife wiped her brow at the sight of Banjo’s handsome form. Jam Jars could not stop drooling over Kazooie, and Mumbo felt that he could faint at any second. Meanwhile, the remaining animal friends and critters were watching in their own delight, applauding Humba for such a professional spell.

“Humba thank everyone,” smiled Humba. She giggled. “Mumbo lose this time. Humba win!”

Mumbo jumped up. “Humba cheat!”

“Not cheat. Mumbo just jealous.” Humba brushed back her hair, turning to Banjo and Kazooie. Both of them were still dancing around the stage. “But there is slight problem with spell.”

Everyone fell silent. Banjo and Kazooie stopped dancing. They turned to Humba, now showing signs of worry.

“Do not fret,” Humba giggled. “Humba only now need to conjure potion that will change bear and bird back to bear and bird. You understand?”

“What?” Banjo gasped. “You mean we’re stuck like this?”

“Not forever,” Humba sighed. “Humba figure out potion to change bear and bird to human. Now, she simply make potion to change you back, but it may take time.”

“And how long are we talking here?” Kazooie asked. She stood next Banjo. She could smell his delicious new human scent. It fascinated her. “One hour? Two?”

“No,” Humba tapped her chin. “More like overnight.”

“Overnight!” Both Banjo and Kazooie shouted in a jinx. They turned to each other, and sighed.

“So since the show’s over,” Banjo smileed,” I guess we head back home for the night. Hah, Kazooie?”

“Oh!” Kazooie stared into Banjo’s eyes, him having no idea of her passion for him. Reddening, Kazooie nodded.

Banjo turned to Humba. He smiled at her. “This was definitely a winner, Humba. Please have the antidote by tomorrow?”

“Humba promise,” Humba said. “Humba work hard all night, and bring potion in morning.”

Waving goodbye, Banjo headed back for Spiral Mountain, with a nervous Kazooie following after him. Humba turned to Mumbo, her arms crossed. Mumbo growled, and turns his head away. “Mumbo not say it…”

-End of Part 1-

The good stuff is in part 2! Please read on, and leave reviews if you’d like. Thanks! Hope you are all enjoying it so far!