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September 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I am SOOO sorry that I haven't updated lately! I rarely have internet access, but I'll write a new chapter and get it up soon...
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August 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love all the critique! Thank you very much! ^_^
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August 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love this fic! And that would be scary to see Zelos prance...Ug...Anyway, I hope you countinue! I really love this story!
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August 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Well, the overall writing is good but I just feel as though it's all a little too...rushed?
Kratos/Zelos is hard to pull off because there's basically no basis in canon. So if you're going to write it, you need to fill in the blanks. Them just going "I love you" and then "I love you too!" is just so OOC, at least, without any previous development.
Overall this feels like it's...the 3rd or 4th chapter in a story and everything else is missing. I'm assuming this takes place post-game since Kratos is speaking to Zelos in front of Lloyd without worry, but even that's not clear. It's a decent idea, I just think there should be more details to justify both Kratos and Zelos' feelings. And a less girly Zelos acting like he's dealing with a high school crush. And also a more stoic Kratos who's less likely to accept or admit to love so easily.
Sorry if If I seem a bit harsh but I'm really just trying to offer some advise. I want to help! Kratos/Zelos is my favorite pairing in the fandom and so I guess that's why I'm being so critical. ^_^
Kratos/Zelos is hard to pull off because there's basically no basis in canon. So if you're going to write it, you need to fill in the blanks. Them just going "I love you" and then "I love you too!" is just so OOC, at least, without any previous development.
Overall this feels like it's...the 3rd or 4th chapter in a story and everything else is missing. I'm assuming this takes place post-game since Kratos is speaking to Zelos in front of Lloyd without worry, but even that's not clear. It's a decent idea, I just think there should be more details to justify both Kratos and Zelos' feelings. And a less girly Zelos acting like he's dealing with a high school crush. And also a more stoic Kratos who's less likely to accept or admit to love so easily.
Sorry if If I seem a bit harsh but I'm really just trying to offer some advise. I want to help! Kratos/Zelos is my favorite pairing in the fandom and so I guess that's why I'm being so critical. ^_^
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August 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hmmm...a few grammer errors here and there, but nothing major. I liked this, although I don't Kratos would blurt out that he loves Zelos, buy hey, is a fanfic, so it really doesn't matter, but I like this! I hope you'll update! Toodles!
RavenGhost
RavenGhost
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August 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You ish A Gewd Writer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!