schedule
October 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
and his left arm flopped on the floor
that was so funny
hope to see more of this fic
that was so funny
hope to see more of this fic
schedule
October 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
it's a shame you;ve stopped writing
schedule
June 21, 2005 at 12:00 AM
CONTINUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN IS THE NEXT CHAPTER GOING TO BE POSTED ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
schedule
May 29, 2004 at 12:00 AM
This fic started out with some good ideas. Rupees being a drug is very good and if used properly could add another dimension to this fic. It also explains why they're so valuabe if they're so common to find. Also a good idea was the concept of an industrializyrulyrule, something that's rather unique. Ganon's victory has been done before, but that's not a problems because it can be handled in such vastly different ways, so that was another good idea. However, that's about where to good ideas stop. Link the pimp = bad idea. Link riding Epona the motorcycle = bad idea. The entire second chapter = bad idea.
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Some of the stuff here just didn't make sense. Link pimps out Navi only to turn around and say he cares about her and loves her? No, that just doesn't work. Again, I won't even get into the second chapter but it was abyssmal.
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Here's what you should do, though not something you will do, I'm sure. Get more in depth into the rupee thing. It increases reflexes but it's highly addictive and maybe it coats the blood vessels or joints to the point that just walking hurts so there's a big trade-off invloved. On the industrial thing, perhaps there are benefits that exist so that Ganon isn't viewed as evil by some of the people. If things are just starting to get industrialized, then make sure there's a contrast of the old way of life and the new. Also, get rid of the motorcycle. That's just fucking stupid, not cool. Get rid of most of the modern stuff and instead have things as just beginning to modernize. You have writing problems besides, grammatically and sentence structure-wise, but you have bigger problems.
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It's sad that some really good ideas are going to waste like this. one one more thing, if Zelda has become Ganon's sex slave, let's have her express herself a little bit better than "I'm sick of tasting your cock," hmm?
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Some of the stuff here just didn't make sense. Link pimps out Navi only to turn around and say he cares about her and loves her? No, that just doesn't work. Again, I won't even get into the second chapter but it was abyssmal.
---
Here's what you should do, though not something you will do, I'm sure. Get more in depth into the rupee thing. It increases reflexes but it's highly addictive and maybe it coats the blood vessels or joints to the point that just walking hurts so there's a big trade-off invloved. On the industrial thing, perhaps there are benefits that exist so that Ganon isn't viewed as evil by some of the people. If things are just starting to get industrialized, then make sure there's a contrast of the old way of life and the new. Also, get rid of the motorcycle. That's just fucking stupid, not cool. Get rid of most of the modern stuff and instead have things as just beginning to modernize. You have writing problems besides, grammatically and sentence structure-wise, but you have bigger problems.
---
It's sad that some really good ideas are going to waste like this. one one more thing, if Zelda has become Ganon's sex slave, let's have her express herself a little bit better than "I'm sick of tasting your cock," hmm?
schedule
May 29, 2004 at 12:00 AM
This fic started out with some good ideas. Rupees beindrugdrug is very good and if used properly could add another dimension to this fic. It also explains why they're so valuabe if they're so common to find. Also a good idea was the concept of an industrialized Hyrule, something that's rather unique. Ganon's victory has been done before, but that's not a problems because it can be handled in such vastly different ways, so that was another good idea. However, that's about where to good ideas stop. Link the pimp = bad idea. Link riding Epona the motorcycle = bad idea. The entire second chapter = bad idea.
---
Some of the stuff here just didn't make sense. Link pimps out Navi only to turn around and say he cares about her and loves her? No, that just doesn't work. Again, I won't even get into the second chapter but it was abysmal.
---
Here's what you should do, though not something you will do, I'm sure. Get more in depth into the rupee thing. It increases reflexes but it's highly addictive and maybe it coats the blood vessels or joints to the point that just walking hurts so there's a big trade-off invloved. On the industrial thing, perhaps there are benefits that exist so that Ganon isn't viewed as evil by some of the people. If things are just starting to get industrialized, then make sure there's a contrast of the old way of life and the new. Also, get rid of the motorcycle. That's just fucking stupid, not cool. Get rid of most of the modern stuff and instead have things as just beginning to modernize. You have writing problems besides, grammatically and sentence structure-wise, but you have bigger problems.
---
It's sad that some really good ideas are going to waste like this. And one more thing, if Zelda has become Ganon's sex slave, let's have her express herself a little bit better than "I'm sick of tasting your cock," hmm?
---
Some of the stuff here just didn't make sense. Link pimps out Navi only to turn around and say he cares about her and loves her? No, that just doesn't work. Again, I won't even get into the second chapter but it was abysmal.
---
Here's what you should do, though not something you will do, I'm sure. Get more in depth into the rupee thing. It increases reflexes but it's highly addictive and maybe it coats the blood vessels or joints to the point that just walking hurts so there's a big trade-off invloved. On the industrial thing, perhaps there are benefits that exist so that Ganon isn't viewed as evil by some of the people. If things are just starting to get industrialized, then make sure there's a contrast of the old way of life and the new. Also, get rid of the motorcycle. That's just fucking stupid, not cool. Get rid of most of the modern stuff and instead have things as just beginning to modernize. You have writing problems besides, grammatically and sentence structure-wise, but you have bigger problems.
---
It's sad that some really good ideas are going to waste like this. And one more thing, if Zelda has become Ganon's sex slave, let's have her express herself a little bit better than "I'm sick of tasting your cock," hmm?