Sole Survivor, Mako Driver
folder
+M through R › Mass Effect
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
5
Views:
6,962
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0
Recommended:
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Currently Reading:
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Category:
+M through R › Mass Effect
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
5
Views:
6,962
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Mass Effect, or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Sole Survivor, Mako Driver
“It's been almost three years, Kaidan. Three years of you barely eating, barely sleeping, Hell, I'm surprised no-one's mistaken you for a husk and shot you. Even if they don't, you're slowly driving yourself to death anyway.”
Kaidan laughs, a husky bitter sound that barely reaches the young doctor's ears.
“And? What does it matter? She was the only one who ever believed in me, the only one that ever made me feel alive. What do I have to live for?”
“You know that's not true.” He admonishes.
Kaidan bares his teeth at him in a grimace. “Fuck you. You don't know me.”
Furrowing his eyebrows, the doctor half-smirks. “I'd be happy to, you were the one doing most of the fucking the other night. Which leads me to believe that I know you more than you think.”
Kaidan flinches slightly.
“Last night...”
“Was not a mistake, no matter how many times you keep saying it, doesn't mean it will suddenly become true. I didn't know her, Kaidan, but from what you've told me of her she was a good woman. Do you think she'd want you to wallow like this?”
Kaidan turns away as much as he can in the uncomfortable metal chair.
“I loved her, Joseph. I still do.”
Now it's the doctor's turn to snort derisively.
“No, Kaidan. You just think you do, and deep down I don't think you even believe that. She turned down your advances on the original Normandy, and joined with Cerberus when she was brought back to life. She almost broke up what little was left of your friendship on Horizon,”
“Actually, I instigated that...”
“And then, conveniently when the war starts and she's almost certain to die, so is almost everyone, she suddenly finds room in her heart for you. Convenient or what?”
Kaidan jumps to his feet, blinded by rage.
“That's not true! You didn't know her!”
“And neither did you.”
“I thought... I...”
“No, you felt. That's the problem Kaidan, you're too hot headed. I'm not saying she's a bad person, far from it. But everyone makes mistakes in what they think are their last hours, Kaidan. You were hers.”
“....Even if you're right. What if she wakes up? What if she wakes up and I'm not there?”
“She won't know. Myself and the other doctors have done hundreds of scans over the past three years, she has no brain activity. Even if, by some miracle she woke up, she'll be incapacitated for life. Would she want you to see her like that? She'll be nothing but a shadow of herself. She'd want you to be happy, Kaidan. Waiting the rest of your life for a glorified corpse is not happy. You could be happy with me.”
Kaidan is so very tired. This man is all he could have ever wanted before he met Shepard, and he's right, Jane would want him to be happy. He lets himself forget this is the woman who stopped Saren, the woman who came back from the dead, the woman who went through the Omega four relay and lived. He lets himself forget this is the woman who loves him, who saved his life, saved the galaxy. He lets himself forget all this, and takes the one step forward that Joseph desperately wants him to take. They embrace, and Joseph whispers into his ear.
“I'm leaving tomorrow. Come with me?”
“Yes.” Kaidan whispers back.
Shepard dreams. She's trapped on the burning Normandy, and whatever she does, nothing happens. She's trapped. The ship is about to blow, but it's always about to blow up. She wanders the empty halls of the Normandy, sure this isn't how this is supposed to happen, but powerless to stop it. Sometimes she wakes up in her cabin, alone. Sometimes she wakes up and someone is curled around her. But he never responds. Sometimes she wakes up in the pilot's seat, with Joker's hat sat next to her. She doesn't know what happened to the crew, or what happened to the ship. She has a feeling that something isn't quite right that she can't seem to shake, that this isn't a normal dream. But she can't shake the dream either.
Sometimes, there is nothing but darkness, and she is aware of nothing but the void, the Normandy long forgotten. These times, she is sure that something is wrong, and tries as hard as she can to work out what it is, but she's back at the Normandy before she gets anywhere, watching her ship burn.
Slowly, she is making progress in the darkness. Bits and pieces fit together of another life, and faces appear in her mind's eye, although she can't remember most of their names.
There was.... a quarian. Tali. Months later, a turian, Garrus, then a salarian, Mordin, attached with a strong feeling of loss and respect. A krogan, Wrex. The names and faces keep coming, until finally, one day, over five years after her barely-alive body was found at the Citadel and brought to this backwater hospital on Earth, a face and a name that finally make sense.
Kaidan.
Kaidan laughs, a husky bitter sound that barely reaches the young doctor's ears.
“And? What does it matter? She was the only one who ever believed in me, the only one that ever made me feel alive. What do I have to live for?”
“You know that's not true.” He admonishes.
Kaidan bares his teeth at him in a grimace. “Fuck you. You don't know me.”
Furrowing his eyebrows, the doctor half-smirks. “I'd be happy to, you were the one doing most of the fucking the other night. Which leads me to believe that I know you more than you think.”
Kaidan flinches slightly.
“Last night...”
“Was not a mistake, no matter how many times you keep saying it, doesn't mean it will suddenly become true. I didn't know her, Kaidan, but from what you've told me of her she was a good woman. Do you think she'd want you to wallow like this?”
Kaidan turns away as much as he can in the uncomfortable metal chair.
“I loved her, Joseph. I still do.”
Now it's the doctor's turn to snort derisively.
“No, Kaidan. You just think you do, and deep down I don't think you even believe that. She turned down your advances on the original Normandy, and joined with Cerberus when she was brought back to life. She almost broke up what little was left of your friendship on Horizon,”
“Actually, I instigated that...”
“And then, conveniently when the war starts and she's almost certain to die, so is almost everyone, she suddenly finds room in her heart for you. Convenient or what?”
Kaidan jumps to his feet, blinded by rage.
“That's not true! You didn't know her!”
“And neither did you.”
“I thought... I...”
“No, you felt. That's the problem Kaidan, you're too hot headed. I'm not saying she's a bad person, far from it. But everyone makes mistakes in what they think are their last hours, Kaidan. You were hers.”
“....Even if you're right. What if she wakes up? What if she wakes up and I'm not there?”
“She won't know. Myself and the other doctors have done hundreds of scans over the past three years, she has no brain activity. Even if, by some miracle she woke up, she'll be incapacitated for life. Would she want you to see her like that? She'll be nothing but a shadow of herself. She'd want you to be happy, Kaidan. Waiting the rest of your life for a glorified corpse is not happy. You could be happy with me.”
Kaidan is so very tired. This man is all he could have ever wanted before he met Shepard, and he's right, Jane would want him to be happy. He lets himself forget this is the woman who stopped Saren, the woman who came back from the dead, the woman who went through the Omega four relay and lived. He lets himself forget this is the woman who loves him, who saved his life, saved the galaxy. He lets himself forget all this, and takes the one step forward that Joseph desperately wants him to take. They embrace, and Joseph whispers into his ear.
“I'm leaving tomorrow. Come with me?”
“Yes.” Kaidan whispers back.
Shepard dreams. She's trapped on the burning Normandy, and whatever she does, nothing happens. She's trapped. The ship is about to blow, but it's always about to blow up. She wanders the empty halls of the Normandy, sure this isn't how this is supposed to happen, but powerless to stop it. Sometimes she wakes up in her cabin, alone. Sometimes she wakes up and someone is curled around her. But he never responds. Sometimes she wakes up in the pilot's seat, with Joker's hat sat next to her. She doesn't know what happened to the crew, or what happened to the ship. She has a feeling that something isn't quite right that she can't seem to shake, that this isn't a normal dream. But she can't shake the dream either.
Sometimes, there is nothing but darkness, and she is aware of nothing but the void, the Normandy long forgotten. These times, she is sure that something is wrong, and tries as hard as she can to work out what it is, but she's back at the Normandy before she gets anywhere, watching her ship burn.
Slowly, she is making progress in the darkness. Bits and pieces fit together of another life, and faces appear in her mind's eye, although she can't remember most of their names.
There was.... a quarian. Tali. Months later, a turian, Garrus, then a salarian, Mordin, attached with a strong feeling of loss and respect. A krogan, Wrex. The names and faces keep coming, until finally, one day, over five years after her barely-alive body was found at the Citadel and brought to this backwater hospital on Earth, a face and a name that finally make sense.
Kaidan.