The Avatar of Sheogorath

 

..or what if the player got to be the God of Madness before the Oblivion Crisis starts. 

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She-ogorath had gone along with this whole Hero thing, because what was more madness than to stand against the God of Destruction in his own wastelands?

Oh it was the hight of Madness he got stuck in, She-ogorath was in heaven.

Only someone completly bonkers would do all the things required and only someone not completly 'human'with an ungoodly strength would not break down with exhaustion, or just killed by his opponents.





And than it went ten times better.

Oh, She-ogorath nearly botched the Mission with Bruma and getting a big Sigil stone because that was so mad, (S)he had a hard time to go on and not roll around laughing because of the deliciousness.



Running against time to the Imperial city the fun just didn´t stop and than Mehrunes Dagon himself came out of Oblivion and maybe She-ogorath should have made Martin the new Mad-god because what was more mad than wanting to fight the Destroyer still...face to face.



But Mehrunes would disrupt his fun in the end.

Just imagine, who was mad enough to enjoy constant bloodsheed,death, torture. It was blunt and uncreative and ugly..not mad ugly, just ugly.



So She-ogorath decided to do something, step up, do the mad thing only heros can do, mixed with the things only gods can do and help Martin.



And very important, She-ogorath didn´t want Martin to die, the mortal was just too much fun and a nice chap with experience relating to madness and gods.

She-ogorath was mad enough to know what Martin would try and that would end the fun for Martin on the mortal plane which (S)he could not allow, not for all cheese on the world.





There was only one thing that could hurt a god, another god.



And so She-ogorath summoned shizz Avatar to fight the God of Destruction, because it was pure Madness...and madness was shizz world.







Lifting hands, words of power and Madness were spoken and the world shook.



The sky churned, whirling and the stars on the maddening dark daytime sky flittered in rainbow colours until there was a popping sound and a white tendril snaked itself out of a hole in the sky, more following to broaden the portal through which shizz creature would come.



Soon there was a pile of HIS writhering, noodly appendages in the sky, The Great Flying Sphagettimonster, buddy of the Mad-God(because cheese goes well with Sphagettis) held the portal open to allow a creature of pure Madness to descend from its plane to the one of Nirn.





And there it came in all its glory, a dozen Netch carrying the creature whose voice brought fear into the heart of anyone logical, even the ones with a whole funny skeleton in their body, the unnatural,mad, long lasting tune the creature made, distracting Mehrunes Dagon from Martin and the Temple.





Oh the creature was delicious horrible, lesser beeings had to avert their eyes or they would writh in agony if not mad enough, because no whole mind could take in this apparition.



Mehrungs Dagon sent his fiery lighting at the creature who had been set on the ground by the netch who now circled lazily around it.

The deadly hit only made the creature laugh, purely mad in joy and happiness, the goulish white eyes with the miniature black, soulless pupils full of mirth and zooming in on the God of Destruction.



"Oh barnacles" it boomed while the mindbutchering laugh went on, the Avatar of Sheogorath grinning, laughing, its body shook through the impossible noise it made

"Gary, I'm absorbing his blows like I'm made of some sort of spongy material"

And a shrill "Meeeooow" from the portal shattered any glass that was still whole in the Imperial city.



"Can´t have dirty garbage, no we can´t!" and there was a big Netch-Net materializing in the noodly thin hands, fastened to noodly thin-quivering arms, the creature running up laughing to the God of Destruction.



A bucket with soapy water dropped down where the Tempel of the One was, the God of Destruction tangled in the Net of Madness, the creature the perfect image of everything She-ogorath, yellow like aged cheese, perfect holes any cheese would envy the creature of.

A hand struck the sky and with lighting and thunder, barely louder than the hyper-happy laugh, a scrubbing brush came to be in the Avatars Hand, the one not holding the net with which the God of Destruction was dragged to the bucket of overflowing suds and soapy water.



With each ticking second, which each pair of eyes seeing the display, getting madder with every breath taken, it grew, soon overtowering the God of Destruction who was dumped in the bucket and than grabbed again, scrubbed with impossible, mad speed..and the giggles went on as soap bubbles came into existence. Out of nothing they came, produced by the scrubbing and the whirling appendage that blurred because of the speed.



Bubbles, bubbles everywhere, some had taken the form of earthly creatures, mooing, barking, chirping, a whole barn as the bubbles soon obscured the Avatar, flowing over the whole city.



And than there was a pop...soon another and than the popping sounds were flowing into each other and liquid splashed before everything was sucked back up in the portal in a big coloured, soapy water stream.



A boom sounded as the portal closed with a snap, the Great Flying Sphagetti Monster had barely winked a good bye to She-ogorath, twitching back with the noodly tentacles.





Even more mad, than there was nothing, the next second the dark sky had turned to a light blue, fluffy cotton candy clouds frolicking over the blue pasture of the sky and sunlight sparkling on the squeaky clean stones of the city, some lone bubbles dancing in the warm wind, soap suds dropping from the walls





Only that there stood now, a statue of the Avatar of Madness, frozen forever in a dancing position, brush in one hand, netch-net in the other and soap suds around the podest.



If you looked too long in those soulless, stony eyes you could hear the crazy, grating laughter coming from the two-teethed, abnormal mouth, directly in your mind.

Some say if you went on looking still, you might be transported into the plane of Spongebob Squarepants, the Avatar of Sheogorath and into the plane of pure madness where it rained under water and fire could be made in seasalty planes of crazyness, with meowing snails and unimagible creatures living in unimagible homes, like buckets and pineapples.





No one who had come back from there, was as he had once been, many adopting the maniacle laugh of the Avatar, some even turning yellow and square.

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This was a dream, created through not enough sleep, too much junk food and surprisingly on a day where no one was forced to watch Sponge Bob.

 

I don´t own Spongebob or the Elder Scrolls, if I would...oh the Madness *now please imagine crazy laughter*

 

Spongebob surely would be Sheos Avatar and HIS Noodly Majesty and Sheo would be best buddies..I just say Cheese and the Fork of Forci..di...naaaw..you know what I mean.



If you think about it, it would fit perfectly.

 

Yes it is a parody and a crossover, it is not much, just the glimpse of a moment. So if you say it is so bad, it can´tbe worse, tell me what is bad(yeah yeah no sex I know)