Forever and Always Volume I

Forever and Always Volume I

Chapter 01

Lothering

I frantically tried to stamp out the fire I caused but it was proving to be difficult. The air was thick with smoke and I started choking. It was my own fault for showing off in front of the villagers and I knew my father would be furious with me. I quickly drew on my mana and I released a wall of ice to prevent the fire from spreading out. I was in a small field not far from my home. I only wanted to show them a few fireballs and they were not that big, but it quickly went out of control as soon as the wind came up. I started panicking because the fire was closing in on me. I released another wall of ice, but I was not quick enough because my arm started burning and with the last bit of my strength, I managed to bring the fire under control.

I stumbled my way to the fence clutching my arm and I pleaded for help, but the few remaining villagers backed away from me. I met their eyes and they were full of contempt and loathing.

"Mages are dangerous and they should not be allowed to live free," an angry villager shouted. "We should report her to the Templars," he continued.

"No, it was an accident. I…I was-"I stammered when everyone parted and my father came striding towards me.

"You were what, Marian?" he asked and I cringed away from him. He was furious with me. His face was contorted with rage and his blue eyes were flashing.

"I…I…," I murmured as I looked away from him. I did not know what to say and it did not seem to matter that I was injured.
"What do you know about it? I have no friends. No one wants to come near me. Is it my fault I was born a mage?" I asked.

"Mari, no of course not. Be reasonable please?" he replied and I glared at him.

"Why should I be reasonable? Look at my arm, Father," I muttered. I pressed my hand against the wound and I tried to heal it, but it did not work. I was too upset and it was affecting my concentration and my ability to draw on my magic.

"It is your own fault, but this is unacceptable. What are you trying to do? Are you trying to chase us away from Lothering, our home?" he asked. "And what do you gain from this?" he continued. I refused to look at him. I was not achieving anything and I knew it.

I had turned sixteen a couple of months ago and since then I had done everything I could think of to make friends, but they did not want to come near me. A few weeks ago, I walked passed a group of teenagers and they were speaking about me. They said they feared what I was and they felt I was dangerous. Since then I had blatantly squandered my gift of magic. Every opportunity I had, I cast spells around them. Today was no different.

I craved the company of other teenagers and I was keen on a boy - Aaron. He was about the same age as me. He had a mop of black curly hair, emerald green eyes and he was extremely attractive. He was the one who had looked at me a while ago with such hatred.

"What do you care, father?" I asked and I stormed passed him.

"Marian, wait," he called but I took no notice of him. I kicked open our gate and I stumbled into my home with the tears pouring down my cheeks. My Mother was sitting at the desk staring out the window and I stumbled towards her. Bethany and Carver stopped what they were doing when they saw me and they started crying. My Mother got up and she came towards me. Her grey eyes were full of concern unlike my Father's angry flashing blue eyes.

"Mari, what happened?" she asked. "And your arm... Oh love, what did you do now?" she asked as she helped me sit down. I was aching all over and that was not because of the pain, it was because of the rejection of the village teenagers. She came back with elfroot salve, a bandage and a basin of water.

"Why did you not heal yourself?" she asked as she started cleaning my wound.

"I don't have the strength," I replied. I tried to swallow the sob that was going to burst forth. She was being so gentle, but it was so sore. "Please stop," I whispered.

"Mari, I have to clean it. Please be patient," she said softly. "What did you do anyway? Your father went running out of the house mumbling something about a fire in the field adjacent to our home," she explained and I avoided her piercing gaze.

"Marian...Did you cause it?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"Why? What has got into you, Marian? You were always so responsible, but since your birthday... Are you finding things difficult at the moment?" she asked.

I started crying again. "I...I don't have friends. No one wants to come near me and I am so lonely. I...I am also keen on Aaron," I explained and bit my lip. That sounded so immature.

"And he takes no notice of you?" she asked.

"He hates me, Mother. He looks at me with such hatred and I cannot stand it," I explained and I gave a resigned sigh. I was being immature and I knew it.

My father stormed into the house."You should not be squandering your gift of magic, Marian. That does not excuse the fire you caused."

"Malcolm, please can you see to her arm?" my Mother asked. My father was an excellent healer. He had helped many injured or sick people in the village. He was a mage like me and he was an apostate - a mage living free of the Circle. According to Chantry Law, all mages were supposed to stay in the Circle Towers across Thedas because most people considered us as dangerous.

"No. She will learn from this. I am not going to heal her. Every time she looks at the scar it will remind her of her inappropriate behaviour," he replied.

I looked away from him and I stared out of the window while my mother tended to my wound. I nearly smiled when I felt a small hand on my arm.

"Mari, don't cry," Bethany said softly and I looked into her innocent face. She had dark blue eyes unlike me. I inherited my Father's light blue eyes. I tousled her hair and she giggled. Her hair was black and she was growing it. I looked around for Carver and when I met his blue eyes - the same shade as Bethany's - I could see something, but what it was, I was not too sure. His hair was as black as his sister's was, but he was taller than she was. Both of them were nine years old and they were growing up so quickly.

I beckoned him to come towards me and he reluctantly shuffled his was over. He slipped his hand into Bethany's and both of them looked up at me. Despite the age difference, I enjoyed spending time with them in the fields. I frequently read to them and I was there if they woke up crying from some nightmare.

I turned my attention to my Father as he sank into his chair muttering something about what he could with me. I ignored him and I watched my mother dress my wound. It was stinging like hell, but at least it was bearable. It was going to leave an ugly scar and I glared at my Father. He could have done something about it, but he was not going to let me off lightly.

"You need to learn, Marian. I will not have you spoiling everything your Mother and I have built over the years in Lothering," he said firmly.

"Is that what you think?" I asked.

"No," he said softly. "But your blatant use of your gift and the way you show off is not doing you any good. You are losing yourself, Mari. You should not allow your magic to rule over you as it is a dangerous path and I don't want to lose you," he replied.

But you don't know how I feel, Father," I said softly.

"On the contrary, I do, but what spurred you to show off like that? Do you know that it could have turned into a blazing fire?" he asked.

"I...I know, but they were small fireballs at first and then the wind came up. You can hardly expect me to control that," I said cheekily and he glared at me. It forced me to drop my eyes and my ears started burning.

"I honestly hope this has absolutely nothing to do with Aaron. If so, you have a lot of growing up to do. And Mari, I have had enough of your behaviour. You refuse to listen to reason and I have done all I can - I have taught you the importance of magic. I have taught you how to use it responsibly and I have taught you not to squander it for some light-hearted amusement, but you don't listen to me," he said softly. "Above all, you don't know what my motto means: Magic will serve that which is best in me, not that which is most base. Your magic serves you and you allow it to cloud your judgment. You are a sensible young woman, Mari. I don't know where I have gone wrong," he continued.

"And I don't see why I have to listen to this, father," I said and I ran out of the house, sobbing and I crumpled on the steps. I wrapped my arms around my legs and I looked out over the village.
Lothering was right on the Imperial Highway - the main road that ran through Ferelden, into Orlais and into the Tevinter Imperium. We lived in a small three bed-roomed home. The twins - Carver and Bethany shared the same room and I had my own room, but it was so small. Sometimes I felt so claustrophobic and that was the main reason I spent my time out in the open fields.

Our living room was very small, but comfortable. I glanced over my shoulder and I saw my parents deep in conversation. I looked away from them and I sighed. I did not want to know what they were discussing. Our home was also near the Chantry - the Chantry was a place where people could light a candle to Andraste, listen to the Chant of Light and pray to the Maker if they wished. I had listened to the Chant many times and it was beautiful.

I noticed a group of people coming out of the Chantry and as they came closer, I saw Aaron and my heart started beating uncomfortably. He was laughing with some of his friends. He sensed I was watching him because he caught my eye and I what I saw hurt me like nothing else. His face flickered with something and he looked uncertainly at me. He said something to his friends and he broke away from them.

"Stay away from me, Aaron," I said firmly and I ran back into the house. I went straight to my room and I threw myself onto my bed. Whatever I felt for him had faded away. All that was left was an empty space in my heart that no one would be able to fill.