Demyx & Axel's Bogus Journey

I wrote this a while back during by insomniac phase. Not sure why I never uploaded it here, but I shall do so now! :D

Caution: Some stupid humor and swearing. You've been warned. X3





Axel hated going to Hollow Bastion.



More accurately, he hated going to this particular area of Hollow Bastion. The Great Maw was the single most Heartless-infested location he had ever seen, and he made a point of only visiting the godforsaken place when he absolutely had to.



Unfortunately for the red-haired Nobody, this was one of those times. And he was currently in the process of having his ass handed to him by a seemingly never-ending hoard of Armored Knights.



“DEMYX!” he shouted, attempting to throw off the large mass of enemies that had attached themselves to him, “Where the fuck are you?!”



His answer came in the form of gigantic watery orbs forming over his head. Axel just looked upwards, blinked and sighed.



“Ah, shit.”



When the sudden flood cleared, the swarm of Heartless had gone with it. But that didn’t change the fact that Axel was sopping wet and on the verge of killing his partner for what had to be the fourth time in one mission.



“Dammit, Demyx,” he said after coughing up a lungful of water, “why can’t you ever just hit the stupid things?”

The brunette walked over to him and smiled sheepishly, hauling Axel up by his elbow.

“Sorry, guess my aim was a little off. But come on, it’s just a little water, right?”

Axel smirked. “Right,” he said with a slight flick of his wrist, “and that’s just a little fire.”



“What- AAH! Hey!!” Demyx yelped, attempting to stamp out the sudden inferno at the hem of his cloak. Axel snickered as he watched the brunette hop around and generally act like a fool.



“Dude! SO not cool!”

Axel snorted, attempting to wring some of the water from the now flattened spikes on his head.

“Come on, I barely singed you. Don’t be such a pansy.”

Demyx grumbled as he examined the slightly burnt edge of his newest coat.



“Look, it’s not my fault we’re stuck with this mission.” the brunette said, “After all, I’m not the one who decided to replace the Superior’s lube with superglue, am I?”

Axel laughed. “Hey, it’s not my fault that I enjoy the occasional practical joke, is it?”



“He and Saïx were stuck together for five hours!”



“And every second was completely hilarious.”



“Yeah, well, that’s not the point. You’re lucky you didn’t get castrated.”

Axel sighed, shaking his head. “Well there’s no use complaining now. Let’s just get this over with before Roxas finds out what I did and I get a Keyblade upside the head.”



“Alright, alright. Our next stop is-” the brunette pulled a piece of paper from his pocket, “-ooh, Halloween Town!”



“And why, exactly, does that deserve an ‘ooh’?”



“Because my costume is excellent.” Demyx answered with a grin. Axel just blinked.



“…Costume? You get dressed up just to go there?”



“No, it happens automatically when you enter the world’s borders. What, have you never been there?”



“Not yet, no.” the redhead replied with a shrug, “Never got assigned there.”



“Really? Huh…” Demyx looked like he was contemplating something. “Well, I won’t say anything else then. Come on, let’s go!” The brunette turned to open a portal.



“Alright,” Axel said hesitantly before following the other, “just don’t bring us out in midair again, or I really will set you on fire.”

 

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As soon as they arrived in Halloween Town (on the ground, thankfully), Axel could tell something was very wrong. For one thing, Demyx had completely disappeared from view. Another, more alarming reason was that he was dressed as what had to be the single least masculine thing he had ever seen. He couldn’t quite identify what he was supposed to be, exactly, but it was definitely somewhere in the ‘ridiculously gay pirate’ section of things. He had on a pair of obscenely tight black britches that disappeared into a pair of shiny black boots. With heels. Why a pirate would ever want to wear heeled boots was completely beyond the redhead’s scope of imagination, so he deliberately decided not to dwell on it. His ensemble was completed with an overly-ruffled gray shirt that might as well have not been there given all the skin it was showing, and a deep red sash. He could also feel the evidence of one of those silly little pencil moustaches on his upper lip. This was truly humiliating. He didn’t even have a sword! He grumbled to himself, stalking off to hide behind one of the nearby tombstones before he was seen by anyone.



Then he heard the giggling.



“Demyx, is that you?” Axel hissed. The giggling quickly turned into full-blown cackling, and Axel was sure it was the brunette. “Hey, where the fuck are you?!”



“O-oh my God,” came his voice, broken by bouts of laughter and wheezing, “h-how did you end up in that monstrosity?!”



“How the hell should I know! C’mon, just get out here already so we can get this over with. Where are you anyway?”



“I’m up here, numbnuts.”, Demyx said through a few stray giggles. Axel felt a tap on his shoulder and glanced upwards.



And promptly fell backwards.



“Well, what do you think?” the brunette asked excitedly from his seat on top of a tombstone.



“I…I think you have no head.”



“I know! Awesome, right? Granted it might not be the most original thing in the world, but it’s better than you at least.” That set the brunette off into another fit of laughter. Axel growled before promptly reaching up and yanking Demyx off of his perch.



“Shut up, moron, before I cut your real head off.” Demyx choked out his last few chuckles before standing up and brushing himself off.



“Alright, fine, ruin my fun.” he said, starting off for the Town Square. “…But I bet Roxas would love to see you in that little number…”



As he chased the brunette around the graveyard and into town, Axel hoped that this world was at least partially fireproof.




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Twenty minutes later, he and Demyx were both leaning against the fountain in the center of town, panting. Axel quickly surveyed his surroundings; the damage wasn’t too bad, he supposed. The guillotine could be rebuilt, and he was sure the trees would eventually grow back. Then he noticed the town hall. Well, what was left of it, at least. He reached over and grabbed the brunette, dragging him to his feet and out of the square.



“Let’s go,” the redhead murmured under his breath, “before someone sees what we did to their town…”



“Excuse me, ‘we’?” Demyx said, “I believe you were the one blowing things up, not me.”



“You provoked me.”



“You deserved it!”



“Well you-”



“Good day, fellows!” The arguing Nobodies looked up at the voice that had interrupted their bickering, and found it to be attached to a rather tall skeleton in a black suit. “I don’t believe I’ve seen you two around here before. Are you new to Halloween Town?”



“Uh…y-yeah, you could say that.” Axel stammered. “But we’re kind of in a rush, so-”



“I’m Jack Skellington, King of Halloween! Titan of Terror! Ruler of-”



“Yeah, yeah, we get it.” Demyx interrupted, “But, like my friend said, we need to be going. See you around!” The brunette grabbed Axel’s arm and began to walk away.



“Ohoho, I see.” Jack said with a grin, “Well, I can’t say I’m not jealous, friend.” He nudged Demyx with his elbow and offered Axel and exaggerated wink. “Well, I won’t keep you, then. I hope to see you both soon!”



As Jack continued on his path into the Town Square, the Nobodies just stood there, processing that rather odd conversation. The redhead broke the silence.



“Did…did I just get hit on by a skeleton?”



“Yep.”



“Seriously?”



“Yep.”



“Is that as screwed up as I think it is?”



“Yep.” Axel thought for a moment before nodding slightly.



“Can we never speak of this again?”



“Sounds just fine to me.” the brunette answered.



“Good. Now, how about we leave before I get raped by Frankenstein or something…”



“Okay, but you’re not gonna like where we need to go next…” Demyx said, remembering their next destination. At that point a rather loud shout was heard from the direction Jack had gone in, and the two looked at each other.



“How about I just complain when we get there?”



“Sounds dandy.” the brunette said, opening a portal and leaping in with Axel in tow.




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Axel knew where they were headed before they even arrived. The telltale blue glow at the end of the pathway they were on gave it away: Atlantica. He tugged on Demyx’s arm.



“Hey, would you mind if I just waited here while you scoped things out?” Demyx smirked.



“Why, the water? Or are you going to turn into something ridiculous again?” Axel turned a shade of red to rival his hair, and the brunette grinned.



“No chance, man. I’ve always wanted to see what you’d look like here.” Axel groaned, almost pouting, as they passed through the portal and into the watery world.




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Demyx sighed contentedly as he drifted through the cool ocean waters. He loved Atlantica, and he especially loved the way he looked there. He was half leafy sea dragon, essentially a merman. He hummed a nondescript tune as he floated along, waiting for Axel to show himself. But after a few minutes, he grew impatient.



“Hey, fire-crotch, where are you?” The brunette grinned to himself, that nickname always got the redhead riled up. He heard a soft swishing sound near the sandy bottom and swam down to find his friend.



He was a shrimp. With spiky hair.



As Demyx nearly choked on his own tongue with laughter, Axel scuttled off behind a rock, silently plotting the doom of his friend.



If only he had more superglue…