Easing the Pain of Loss - adult version

So much had happened in such a short amount of time, he had not taken any opportunity to simply take everything in. One thing right after another kept happening. The adventure never seemed to stop.

It had started before Hyda IV, the blinding headaches and the strange visions. He had not confessed his problems to his parents nor to his best friend. Fayt had hoped he could keep things to himself. He did not want them to worry, he loved them that much.

For a while, after fleeing Hyda IV, the headaches stopped and the dreams no longer assailed him. There were other things for Fayt to focus on.

It was only after his father died and he had learned of his abilities that the headaches and dreams returned in full force. Only this time, they were coupled with the agonizing ache of loss. His father's death was his fault, after all, just like the attacks on Hyda IV and Elicoor II. If he did not have his powers, if he had not been born, then those tragedies would have never happened, in Fayt's mind. However, he had no true way to make the pain disappear, no matter how many painkillers he took. The only thing they did manage to do were to make the visions more vivid, more intense, more . . . pleasurable, like they were more real when they really were nothing more than just fabrications of his mind. He should have stopped taking them, the painkillers, but he knew of no other way, even as the final battle drew closer and closer.

Luther was having the time of his life, watching his creations rise against him and do battle with him. For so long, he had been trying to kill time, to ease his boredom, and find something, anything, that could truly challenge him. This battle for the Eternal Sphere had given him most of what he wanted. Granted, he knew everything nearly all of the combatants were going to do. They were his creations, after all, and therefore predictable. That was except for one.

Whenever he caught glimpses into Fayt Leingod's eyes, he saw nothing. The younger man's eyes were void of any emotions or thoughts, and he did not act as if he felt any physical pain. Luther wondered about such enigmatic behaviour. Of course, Fayt Leingod was an anomaly to him, had been always been an anomaly to him since he had encountered the teen some two years before in Eternal Sphere time, and something akin to a threat for Luther.

Now the nineteen-year-old seemed to be operating on auto-pilot, like his actions were no longer his own but those dictated to him. Luther did not like it. He wanted Fayt to rebel against him, to give him the challenge he so desperately craved. Fayt Leingod was the only one who could give Luther what he truly wanted. He knew it, felt it in the pit of his stomach, and he willed for his opposite to look at him, to meet his gaze so he could understand.

In an odd little twist, as if answering his wish, green eyes landed on Luther and he held the younger man's gaze. He half-imagined he saw beyond the glazed look and into Fayt's soul. Of course, Luther knew about everything Fayt had endured. He, like so many others in 4D space, had watched everything play out, from the attack on Hyda IV to Dr. Leingod's death. Such events were sure to have left some kind of a mark on Fayt, but Luther saw none. He found he did not care for it, and he wondered what could have caused such a numb state for such a lively and entertaining young man. Luther continued to watch Fayt as the battle between them raged on, hoping to gain some more insight on this bizarre behaviour.

Finally, Luther grew tired of the game. The inhabitants of the Eternal Sphere wanted to live. That much was obvious to him, but the reason for Fayt's detached behaviour was not. It was time to make the ultimate move, one that would still leave him gaining everything in the end.

* * *

Fayt lay curled up on the bed, his entire body aching. What had possessed him to agree to Luther's terms, he did not know. He just knew he hurt, and he wanted the pain to end. He could not ask Luther for anything, though. To do so would be to admit he was weak, he was less than he seemed, and Fayt did not want that.

The bed dipped a little as somene sat next to him, but Fayt did not bother to move. He knew who was joining him.

'Luther.'

Strong and slender arms wrapped around his waist, one pulling him plush against Luther's body while the other traveled down his thighs. Hot breath ghosted against the flesh of his neck, and Luther embraced Fayt with his entire body.

"You look miserable," Luther commented, his hand caressing Fayt's leg. "Is it because you do not wish to be here? Or something else?"

Fayt did not answer. He did not want to answer. His throat had gone dry all of sudden, and his nerves erupted in an apprehensive tingle. Just what was Luther trying to accomplish?

"Must be something else," the blond murmured, his tone pleased. Luther's hand continued to caress Fayt's thigh. "Otherwise, you would have tried to escape from me."

"Why are you doing this?" Fayt managed to croak out.

"Hmmm . . . you feel warm against me, Fayt Leingod. You shouldn't for being mere Data. It makes me wonder . . ."

Teeth grazed against Fayt's neck, and he found himself slowly drowning in an ocean of sensations. The hand caressing his leg traveled between his legs and moved up. Luther then cupped Fayt's penis and squeezed gently. Fear sent his heart racing, his breathing quickened, but he could not move. Luther's actions trapped him, enticed him, and Fayt could not decide what he wanted more, to run escape or to let the blond fondle him some more.

"You're frightened." Fayt felt Luther smile. "Your awareness has returned to you."

Something on the slightly bulky side ground against his backside as Luther's grip around his waist tightened. The blond's free hand started to tease Fayt through his pants.

"Good. I want to see the light in your eyes once more."

'What is he talking about?' Fayt wondered idly. The thought disappeared as quickly as it came, the tingling of his nerves clamouring for his attention. A fire had started to form his abdoment from Luther's teasing as pressure started to build in his groin. No one had ever touched him like this, and he was not sure of what to make of Luther's ministrations. He wriggled and squirmed, trying to get comfortable or at least find a way to release what he was experiencing. His hands flexed while his pants become too tight.

"You like this. I can tell," Luther whispered, sounding smug. "I like it, too."

Again, the same bulky presence ground against Fayt's backside, only this time it was harder, more pronounced. Startled, Fayt realized it was Luther's penis. The blond was definitely enjoying himself!

Without warning, Luther's hand stopped its teasing of Fayt's penis, and traveled towards his waist once more. As it did, it continued to tease now sensitized flesh, drawing out moans, gasps, and whimpers from Fayt. Dammit, how he hated how he must have sounded!

As Luther teased him into a sexual frenzy, Fayt noticed himself being repositioned. He lay on his stomach with Luther's weight settling on top of him. The blond's hardened penis pressed itself into Fayt's inner thigh. He wanted to protest these actions. He was not ready for anything like what Luther had in mind. He did not deserve anything, least of all the pleasure he was feeling. However, the words could not, would not form, not even as his pants slid away and his heated flesh came into contact with cool, silk sheets. A part of him saw this as punishment for his crimes, and he welcomed the acts that were sure to follow. Fayt simply lay in the position Luther put him in, his heart pounding rapidly in his chest in anticipation and fear. Luther's member felt like a heating rod next to his skin.

"Lovely. So lovely."

Deft fingers touched lightly upon his lower back then trailed to his buttocks, causing Fayt to shiver and moan from the caresses. His eyes closed, and he tried to catch his breath. All of a sudden, the room spun and he could not breathe. The sensations unsettled him, scared him, but he could not retaliate or flee.

"Why are you here, Fayt Leingod?"

A tube of some kind pressed against Fayt's opening, and he involuntarily stiffened.

"Is it to save your friends?"

Fayt grunted as the semi-firm cylinder entered the orafice.

"You would do anything to save them," Luther murmured, continuing. "A misguided notion, to be sure. We cannot save those who do not wish to be saved, and I am sure they would protest this."

Something cool and slick erupted from the tube, and Fayt squirmed. Instinctively, he fisted the sheets.

"You know this all too well, Fayt Leingod, yet you have not complained once. It makes me wonder."

The container then was removed, leaving behind an oily substance. Behind him, Fayt felt Luther shifting himself, and the tip of the blond's hardened penis poked at his anus. Strong hands lifted his hips and placed Fayt in a more dog-like and degrading position. With his knees, he nudged Fayt's legs apart to accommodate him. Then Luther held him like that.

"Tell me why you are here and allowing this."

Fayt's mouth had gone dry. He knew why he was letting Luther do what the blond wanted to him, but the words still refused to form. The ache in his heart and soul were too great. He also did not want to admit to Luther his crimes. They were his and his alone to bear, and Fayt did not want to hear Luther agree with him.

A cry erupted from him and tears formed in his eyes as Luther started to penetrate him. The blond only pushed the head of his penis in, but it was still painful and uncomfortable. Fayt gasped for air, his own member going limp a few moments before returning in a raging hard-on. It hurt worse than anything he had ever experienced yet he could not help but be aroused by the pain. The experience also reminded Fayt of something else, something that had happened two years ago. For the life of him, though, he could not remember what.

"Silence is not an acceptable answer."

"P-punishment," he panted out. "It's my punishment."

"Punishment?" Luther inquired. His hands still held on to Fayt's hips. The nineteen-year-old whimpered and nodded his head.

"Yes," he whispered. "It's my punishment. I want to be punished . . ."

"Punished for what?" the blond purred. Fingers dug into his hips, and Luther's rock-hard penis pushed half an inch deeper into Fayt. The action stole Fayt's breath from him once more. "Punished for what happened on Hyda IV? The Hellre? Or perhaps it's the Vendeeni attack on Elicoor II? Dion and Ameena's deaths? Your father's death?" Then Luther paused. "Maybe all of the above? Tell me, Fayt."

Fayt could not speak. Luther's words, every single one of them, were accurate, and it did not surprise Fayt that the blond knew all of this. Luther was the Creator of his universe, after all, and it only made sense. It did not help his entire body quivered from need and the pain coming from his anus.

The pain intensified as Luther drove his length even further into Fayt's body, fingernails digging into sensitive flesh. Fayt was not sure of how to react. Should he try to escape from Luther or should he simply impale himself on the blond's penis? His mind clouded over with the sensations.

"I told you once before, silence is not an acceptable answer. Why do you wish to be punished?"

"F-for . . . for everything you said," Fayt managed to grunt out. "I-it was all my fault."

"I see."

For several long and excrutiating moments, Luther did not move. His body remained tense, quivering slightly next to Fayt's, and the younger man waited. He waited for Luther to fully penetrate his body, giving Fayt the punishment he knew he deserved.

Luther did not disappoint him. The blond pulled back out so only the tip of his penis remained inside of Fayt then fully sheathed himself in one swift thrust. Luther's member felt too large and thick to be nestled inside Fayt's anus, but the blond had somehow managed to thrust it in. The nineteen-year-old knew that he had, too. The flesh of Luther's groin was like a heatwave next to Fayt's hind-end. Jolts of pleasure and pain coursed throughout his body, and he cried out once more. Luther's torso rested against Fayt's back.

"You are foolish if you believe you are responsible for other people's actions," Luther hissed in his ear. "Such a misguided notion you have. However, I cannot deny you your wish for pain and punishment. Not when you seem to like it so."

Fayt never really had a chance to deny Luther's words. The blond-haired man began to thrust inside Fayt's slickened and unprepared entrance, sending more volts of pleasure and pain singing through his blood. Fluids dripped from his abused hole, his body protested Luther's intrusion of a sensitive area, but Fayt did not care. Each stab of Luther's penis felt like heaven to Fayt, creating pain and killing it at the same time. Before too long, his body moved in time with Luther's, heightening what he already felt.

It was when Luther struck something inside him, something that made him see stars and go utterly weak in the knees that Fayt remembered what had niggled at his memories before. He had been in this position once, legs spread and hands holding him up while some blond-haired man fucked himself senseless. If he recalled correctly, the pain then had been as much of a turn-on to him as it was now.

The memories of that time, though, hardly did anything for Fayt in his current situation other than to arouse him more. In fact, he literally smelled the sex and sweat in the air. It was intoxicating and heady, numbing his senses a little. His body begged for release that only Luther seemed to be able to give him. The blond had both his hands pinned to the bed as he thrust harder and deeper into Fayt. Every now and then, he heard Luther mutter, "As you wish." Was he saying things?

Finally, the two of them reached a crescendo. Luther's teeth grazed once more against the flesh of Fayt's neck, sending the younger man over the edge. A harsh yet pleasured-filled cry escaped Fayt, and his entire body went rigid as he climaxed, his essence splattering on the sheets and his legs. Luther followed several moments later, after Fayt had relaxed and almost collapsed onto the bed. The Creator's seed filled him, and it had seemed like an eternity to Fayt before Luther had emptied himself out. With a final thrust in, Luther finally let go of Fayt and dropping from exhaustion, effectively pinning the nineteen-year-old underneath. Sweat-slicked flesh started to cool.

As he lay there with Luther on top him, Fayt felt relieved, like someone had taken a huge burden from him. The blond had been correct, of course. It was foolish of him to take responsibility for the actions of others, but it still was not easy to let go of all the guilt. A part of him would always blame himself for everything he had endured, and he still considered the roughness of sex between he and Luther as his atonement for his sins. He certainly did not feel the pain from before.

"Are you satisfied now?" Luther murmured. "Do you feel properly punished now? Or do you feel the need for some more?"

Fayt shivered as Luther spoke. He had no doubts the blond would be willing to fuck him all over again, and the prospect thrilled him. Then he remembered once more the sensations from the past that had overwhelmed him. Curious about something, Fayt turned his head to meet Luther's heated blue gaze.

'His eyes . . . they're just like the ones from before . . .'

"So you're now starting to remember, eh, Leingod?" Luther smirked. "It's about time."

"What do you mean?"

"You mean you do not fully remember?" the blond-haired man's tone held a mocking yet sad quality. He tightened his grip on Fayt, his mouth dangerously close to his ear. "I'm the one who took you a few years ago and made you mine in every sense of the word. You said I was the best painkiller you ever had."