Future Pending

Title: Future Pending
Author: malicevampire90
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Because apparently no one is smart enough to understand the disclaimer is implied anyway...I don't own the characters, i don't own the game, i don't own an xbox, i don't own the rights, i don't own valve, i don't own anything except the computer this is being typed on. If i was making money off of this i wouldn't be working at my shitty job still. Valve owns it all. There. Disclaimed.
Summary: What's worse than loosing someone close to you is loosing them after you've been saved from disaster and then having to go through the entire thing again with a constant reminder of that person.
Pair: Nick/Rochelle
Fandom: L4D2
Notes/Warnings: written for one of my friends. character death. Its been...about three or so years since i've written ANYTHING, so hopefully this doesn't suck to badly, at first it will be slow and bad but then it will pick up, thats the plan at least. When my friends and I play L4D2 I am always Rochelle and it never fails that AI Nick is nice to me and is the one healing me if I need it (which is quite often actually). This is set during and after The Parish. and sorry for OC-ness. unfortunately it happens :(

It was hard to sleep. Not because of the hard floor, the moon shining in just the right angle to strike her face, and not even the considerably spaced out sound of jets flying over head, Ellis and Coach's combined snoring or the sting of the wounds on her back were the problem. She was nervous. Tomorrow was the end. They were going to be rescued tomorrow. That was the plan at least, whether they were going to make it over that bridge or not was a completely different story. As optimistic as she tried to be, she still felt that it was an impossible feat to do. Even Ellis was having a hard time seeing it happen and that was saying something because he was always so optimistic. She was concerned for Coach the most though, his injuries were going to slow him down considerably. The witch that had attacked them shortly before they came to this safe house had managed to scratch up both Coach and herself. She'd had the only medical pack and had decided to use it on him because his wounds were by far worse. She was starting to somewhat regret that decision though, but there was nothing to be done about it as there were only two packs when they came in. One for Ellis and one for Nick. She craned her neck slightly to look up towards the door and sure enough the aforementioned conman was sitting with his rifle in his hands and staring out the barred window. She had an extremely soft spot for him.

She'd never admit it to anyone else...not that anyone else was alive to admit it to, but she had really grown attached to Nick since this all started. Sure he was an asshole and a cocky, sarcastic bastard but...he would never leave any of them behind or let them be killed if he could do something. There was just something about him that she was drawn to. Maybe it was how he was so secretive of his life before the apocalypse, or maybe it was just that she was attracted to him and that was all there was to it. She had to wonder though, whenever she was injured or fell down he was always the first one to help her up or heal her. He once even carried her all the way to a safe house in the swamp while she shot zombies from his back. She was so caught up in thoughts that she didn't notice the object of her wonderings was looking away from the window and was looking at her with a unreadable expression. Rochelle knew that he knew she was awake but she wasn't about to show it, she turned onto her side trying to make it look as if she was sleeping and was tired of the position. It worked...until she had to hiss from the unexpected pain of her back.
"You going to just let yourself bleed to death tonight or are you planning on fixing it anytime soon?"
Then again...now that she thought of it, her soft spot for him could have started after the one time in the mall. They'd both only thought of it as a one time thing...a fuck...one night stand...meaningless, needed release after the shock of it all. It didn't mean anything...or at least thats what she thought at the time.
"Ro..."
It was awkward for a while but then...Nick started to do things for her that he wouldn't have dared to at the beginning. And it was that fact that made her both hopeful but terribly afraid or what she thought of the whole thing.
"I know you're awake. Let me look at your back ok?"
There was no sense in trying to fake sleep anymore since he knew outright that she was awake. She rolled onto her side and then pushed herself up into a sitting position before standing and wandering over to where the other was sitting. To her surprise he got up from his sitting position and stepped around behind her and made her to sit sideways on the chair so that her left arm was resting on the back and she could lean forward a little. She spoke but was surprised by how timid her voice actually came out.
"You don't have to, its not that bad." Her voice belied everything that she was, she was almost sickened from how fragile it came out.
"I want to."
Nick placed his hand on her shoulder before turning on his light and looking over her injured back. Rochelle could almost hear the frown in his voice.
"She got you pretty good didn't she."
It was quiet but non the less worrisome sounding.
"I guess she did..."
"Why didn't you heal yourself Ro?"
Rochelle sighed and leaned forward on her arms more wincing a little as she did so. "Coach needed it more than I did."
Nick shook his head and sighed as well before unceremoniously removing her shirt from her back which ended up off anyway out of convenience. She didn't protest the action anyway. She knew what he saw. Ugly gashes-some deep some shallow-across her skin, she knew that he could see just how much blood she'd lost as well. He dumped his medical pack next to him and started to work on them, putting disinfectant on the lacerations carefully. She was going to protest his using the medical pack but decided not to. Her thoughts wouldn't leave her alone though, and even though he would talk to her she was to caught up in thoughts to really have a conversation with him at the time.

She lifted her arms when he asked her to do so, bringing the bandage around her middle and then finishing up with securing the bandage in place. When it was all done and over with he put his hand over where the marks would have been if he'd have been able to see them and pressed into her back a little.
"Does it hurt to bad?"
When he didn't get a response he spoke again. "Rochelle. Does it hurt to bad?"
She shook her head and then looked back at him, her chin on her shoulder.
"Nick?"
He looked at her, but didn't vocally acknowledge the question.
"I...have to ask you something...ok?"
He nodded and went about cleaning up the small mess he'd made cleaning her back.
Rochelle hated how she felt right now, she felt like she was in middle school asking her first crush ever to go to dance or something. She AND Nick were to old for that stuff.
"That time at the mall...I just want to know...if it meant anything to you."
The question made him stop what he was doing. For a split second she thought maybe she'd pissed him off, his face certainly held that quality about it. Then again he always looked pissed off. She bit her lip as a few minutes stretched on forever it felt like, it felt like she was a teenager all over again and she wasn't enjoying that feeling. She watched him sit on the floor and lean his head on his fist, seemingly looking for a way to answer the question presented to him in a comprehensible manner. After a few minutes turned to about five or ten she spoke again.
"Look, I just wanted to know...if it didn't mean anything thats fine...thank you for my back...just wake me up when you want to go to sleep ok?"
She didn't really wait for a response before she made to get up but was stopped by Nick pulling her back down into a sitting position on the chair.
"I ask myself that all the time actually."
She gave him a puzzled look and he continued.
"There've been girls that I could give a fuck less about. There've been girls that I thought I gave a fuck about only to have it bite my ass later."
Rochelle nodded at the obvious reference to his ex-wife. She didn't know where this was going.
"At first...no. It was just what it was. It meant nothing to me. The only thing that was different about not giving a fuck about you was the fact that I had to."
She looked down a little, he did say 'at first' didn't he...
"At first...it was nothing...but then after that incident. I realized something that made me see it differently."
She knew what incident he was referring to. A jockey had jumped on her and walked her right into a witch. She'd been so banged up with cuts and blood loss that it took a defibrillator and two of them to carry her back to the safe house they'd come from. They'd been unable to move to the next in the condition she was in. She shivered at the memory. "Nick-"
"Rochelle. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow..." His tone and mannerisms were so different than his usual tone. There was not one shred of sarcasm or malice in his tone right now. He sounded just as normal as everyone else was. "I just want to say that when all this is over," he gestured with his free hand to indicate everything, "I want to try and...win you over the RIGHT way Ro."
She looked at him and he was looking right back at her with the most serious look she'd ever seen on his face in the five months they'd known each other.
"I'd like that Nick." She thought for a moment and then smiled. "So...where are you taking me?"
Nick looked at her and raised a brow in amusement. "Sweetheart, who said anything about taking you anywhere?"
For the first time in a very long time both of them didn't feel uncomfortable. It was a night of realization, and it was good realization.

*****


To say that the bridge was full of obstacles was an understatement. The various abandoned vehicles on the bridge were creating a maze before they'd even begun to cross it. They'd already encountered a tank earlier and Nick and Coach were testament to that. Coach was barely walking and Nick was putting on a tough face to mask the likely incredulous amount of pain he felt. Rochelle had seen them both be tossed like rag dolls only to collide with trees and other objects in their paths. Ellis had used his last medical pack to fix Coach up but Nick had used his on Rochelle the night before and had no other choice but to rely on her for support when he had trouble walking. In the last few hours she'd nearly lost him to the tank and she was very thankful that he didn't die right when he hit the tree. Now they just had to make it over this bridge and they were safe. No more zombies, no more having to worry about being killed in your sleep, no more relying on safe houses...it was just all going to be done.

When the gate dropped and the bridge was open to run onto Ellis took off with Coach behind him keeping the sides cleared as the young mechanic swung his katana at anything that got close enough to him to slash. The horde screamed and charged from seemingly nowhere. Rochelle and Nick struggled to keep up with the other two, trying to cover their tale ends and run backwards and shoot was not an easy task. They came in a never ending wave and kept pulling them back...making it difficult to run at all, more than a few times Nick had to help her get some of them off of her shoulders so she could run. Her ears rang with the explosions and the cries of infected. She was on edge and terrified at the prospect of meeting another tank on the bridge. All the noise took away their advantage of being able to hear it coming and the explosions were making being able to feel one coming impossible with the rattling under her feet. She looked up and saw Ellis and Coach, the younger man was flailing his arms at her to signal that they should not go straight and she watched them run up the offshoot of the bridge. She was about to turn to Nick but in doing so missed the small patch of unstable road and it gave way under her foot making her let out a startled scream and grab onto the side of the bridge for all she was worth. Ellis and Coach were to far ahead to come back and Nick was nowhere in sight. She felt her heart speed up as she dug her fingers into the mix of metal, dirt and asphalt until they were painful and probably bleeding. She tried to pull herself up but the position she was in didn't allow her to be able to do it. She started to panic and in her panic managed to look down past her feet to the fall that awaited her. Rochelle slammed her eyes shut and screamed for help, she knew that she couldn't pull herself up and she wasn't even sure if Nick was still alive or not. The infected seemed to not be interested in her as she was hanging there and she supposed that was a good thing but she still needed to get moving and find Nick and get the hell out of here. It seemed that an eternity passed before she felt a hand grip her arm tightly and pull her up with a little difficulty. She already knew who it was and before either of them had a chance to come to a rational thought about anything he was running and keeping her arm in his grasp so she didn't fall behind.

The helicopter was waiting there...Ellis and Coach were waiting there...it was over...with a final act of brute strength Nick jumped into the helicopter and tugged her along with him before a zombie could grab her and shot it. It all seemed to be a daze when the helicopter took off...looking out the side Rochelle saw a sea of infected. Saw everything that was left of the city...what they'd escaped...what they'd fought through. She still had Nick's hand wrapped around her arm tightly, it caused her to look down and when she did she felt her heart ache. Nick was leaning on one of the walls. His hand was covered in blood and now that she registered it her arm was covered in it as well. His white jacket was no longer with him and his shirt was soaked in red as well. He was a mess, the infected had really ganged up on him and he didn't look conscious at the moment. Rochelle moved and sat behind him letting him rest against her instead of the wall. Everything about him was pain now.
"Stop crying, i'm not dead yet..."
she didn't even realize that she'd been crying until he said that.
"Besides...once they fix me up...gonna be all...better."
They both knew it was a lie.
"Yeah...then you can take me out. I'm still holding you to that."
They knew that he wouldn't make it to the safe zone.
"Again...with this...taking you out...I said no..such thing."
Rochelle just looked at him, she couldn't bring herself to say anything else...what could she say. Any plans that they had made or been making weren't going to come true now. Feeling a hand on her cheek startled her out of her thoughts, looking down at him. By this time Ellis and Coach were also sitting around him, solemn expressions on everyone's faces.
"Ro...you gotta keep going...can't stop. I'm...not going...to bullshit myself...into thinking that...i'm going to make it out of...here."
Rochelle hugged him tighter to herself watching him close his eyes a little before looking at Coach and Ellis. "Coach...gotta watch these two...for me..."
Coach nodded and looked down a little, Ellis frowned deeply and in his truly optimistic attitude spoke.
"You're gonna be fine...we're almost there...just gotta hold on a lil longer. Then I finally tell you all my 'Keith' stories...you'll like'em!"
Nick genuinely laughed and shook his head. "Nah...its...nice thought..." He coughed rather violently wincing. "the getting...there part...not the stories...sorry overalls."
Ellis took his hat off and ran a hand through his hair and looked down unable to look at him anymore. Nick looked at Rochelle and smiled a little.
"Promise me that...you'll never let...some fucker...take...'vantage?"
Rochelle nodded, his speech was getting slurred and it was becoming a lot harder to hear him through the rasps he was letting out just trying to get air. She put her forehead against his and closed her eyes, she heard him say something soft and almost unintelligible but she knew exactly what he said. Rochelle leaned over him a little more and kissed his lips, she felt him return it slightly and then he was gone.

Coach put his hand on her shoulder in a comforting manner and she knew that he meant it but it did nothing. Ellis could only put his face in his unoccupied hand and utter a 'fuck man' under his breath. They had all made it to safety but only three of them survived long enough to appreciate it. Nick was dead. It seemed unfathomable to all of them. After all the things that SHOULD have killed them, all the hordes, the falls, the hunters, spitters, smokers and tanks...they'd survived them all...and Nick was dead now. All she could do was cry. It felt like that was all that was left to do...but even her tears ran out eventually. She took the ring off his finger and put it in her pocket, she would have something to remind her of him at least...and then CEDA came and took his body away...and that was the end of that.

****
It was a mandatory check up for all survivors. It went by in a haze for Rochelle. The doctor came in and asked her stupid questions, checked everything out, left the room multiple times to find something else to test. The entire time she sat on the hospital bed in her flimsy hospital gown and lost herself to her thoughts completely. Her thoughts were the only place that felt normal. They had all imagined that they'd relax once out of danger but for Rochelle she felt even more skittish and paranoid now that she was unarmed...and as much as she absolutely HATED to admit it, had no one to protect her if she did need protecting. She felt numb and lost. It was only three hours after Nick had died in her arms, two hours and thirty-four minutes since they'd arrived at the safe zone and only one hour since they'd taken her away from Coach and Ellis. The people that she had considered family for the last five months were just ripped away from her as if they'd never had to stick together.

She didn't realize that she'd started crying again until she wiped at her eyes in frustration. What hurt the most was that Coach was like a father...it was like her father had been stolen from her...Ellis was like a brother...and it felt like they'd ripped her brother away from her...Nick was her lover and the universe had tore him away from her as soon as she'd realized that she liked him serious enough to even think about a future. She found herself fiddling with the ring that she'd taken from Nick and only seemed to cry harder than she did before. It donned on her, that now that she was safe from the apocalypse outside...she had no one. Ellis and Coach-two strangers that she had only known in the last few months-were her only family left, and she would never get to know Nick the way she'd hoped she would one day. She quickly composed herself as best she could when the doctor came back in with a baffled look on her face.
"Miss...I don't want to be the bringer of bad news or anything like that...but you're pregnant."


**
So...there was chapter one....hopefully the second chapter will be easier to write...my writing is coming back to me slowly so...i might not even put the second chapter up here anyway. If you liked it and want to see what happens next just say so in the reviews if not. then I won't post anymore on here and i'll remove this abomination from the site. And...just a note. I HATE the Parish campaign. I hate that stupid bridge. >:o but anyway. yeah. later.