Down with the Ship
folder
+M through R › Mass Effect
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
11,421
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
+M through R › Mass Effect
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
11,421
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own Mass Effect or its characters, and I do not make any money from these writings.
Down with the Ship
Author's note: Prompted by the Mass Effect Kink Meme on Livejournal.
If you are drinking something, put it down NOW. I'm not responsible for your computer system's welfare.
“Down with the Ship”
Kelly was excited to have been called to Commander Shepard’s cabin. The Commander was a good-looking man, and Kelly hoped to get a very good look at him, the sooner, the better.
But when she opened the door, she received two disappointments. One was that the Commander had a picture of an asari on his desk. The other was that he was fully dressed, with a stack of papers in front of him. He looked ready for work, not play.
He cleared his throat. “I’ve called you here to discuss a, er, sensitive psychological matter about a member of the crew.”
Kelly had a few guesses in mind. Grunt, breaking things. Miranda, backstabbing Shepard for the Illusive Man. Kasumi, taking anything that wasn’t nailed down. Tali fighting with Legion. Garrus fighting with Zaeed. Jack fighting with everyone.
“Who is it?” Kelly asked.
“Mordin.”
“Mordin?” Kelly protested. The salarian scientist was a little eccentric, but hardly Kelly’s first choice for problem crewmate.
“Now, ordinarily I’m not one to criticize what a man wants to do in his spare time, but I really think this is too much.” He shoved the papers into Kelly’s arms.
She looked down at the top one, and began reading.
*
“Doctor,” Miranda pants, hair disheveled, bosom heaving. “What is wrong with us?”
Heroic scientist consults datapad. “Pollen indigenous to planet. Reacts with human receptors. Triggers mating behaviours.”
Jack, angry: “We’re in heat? Like varren?”
“Precisely.”
Miranda, groaning, begs for cure. Only one to offer.
Moments later, it arrives.
“Commander Shepard here to help you ladies.”
Jack scowls. “One of him. Two of us.” Arousal is so intense it is painful. Own fingers do not satisfy.
Scientist smiles. “Learn to share.” Turns on omnitool. Records. For science.
*
Kelly’s lip curled, trying to stifle a gasp—or a grin. She wasn’t sure whether to be shocked, or amused. Salarians weren’t supposed to have sex drives, and she wasn’t sure what could have sparked him to try his hand at smutty fiction. On the other hand, she found this little tale of threesomes and voyeurism to be strangely amusing.
“You’re telling me Mordin has been making up erotic stories about you?”
“Yes, and it makes me uncomfortable as fuck.”
She favoured him with a smile. “Why Commander, I would have thought you would have been used to being the subject of people’s sexual fantasies.” Kelly had certainly harboured more than a few about herself and the Commander, for instance…
“Yeah, but I really don’t want to know that Mordin sits up nights imagining Zaeed screwing me up the ass.”
Kelly’s eyes widened.
Shepard groaned and removed the threesome story, revealing another printout underneath. “See for yourself.”
*
Shepard’s hole tight. Zaeed pounds him, harder, faster. Mutters in ear, “Sorry yet?”
Shepard grits teeth. Robbed Zaeed of vengeance. Must pay him back…somehow. This payback…strangely pleasurable. Endorphins flood body. Grits teeth harder. Will not let mercenary know he enjoys this.
Concern—can he live without experiencing this pleasure again?
Zaeed chuckles. “Jessie’s turn next.”
*
Kelly couldn’t help it. She giggled.
“Oh, you think it’s funny, do you?” Shepard scowled. “It gets worse.”
Kelly, unable to help herself, began shuffling through the stack.
*
Samara wears black leather, carries bullwhip. Smacks handle into palm as she stalks across the room. “You’ve been bad.”
Aria smiles. “Very bad.” She stretches hands over head, displaying full breasts, hard nipples. “Punish me, mistress.”
*
“This isn’t right. I’m a cop. You’re a hired killer.”
Thane grins. “Ex-cop now.” He bends over, exposing anus. “If you feel bad—walk away.”
Garrus cannot walk away. Grabs drell’s hips, enters him on swift thrust. “I’m addicted.” Licks Thane’s sweat, hopes to dream of better days—days before Archangel fell.
Krios whispers, “You’re no angel any more.”
*
Joker bursts into the cockpit. Hands to head. Shocked. Heartbroken. “EDI, how could you?”
Geth’s head lights up. “You cannot please her as I can.” Cables connect Legion to ship’s console. Data transfers in rhythmic pulses.
Blue light pulses through cockpit. EDI’s pleasure. “Organics inferior,” she breathes. “Consensus achieved.”
*
Grunt pants, slick with sweat, cock still moist with her juices. Speaking impossible.
She speaks instead. “Stolen—your virginity.” Kasumi smiles.
*
Tali throws back head, screaming in pleasure. His fingers in her suit, in her body. She cries. Should not do this. Should not do this with human. Especially not human who cleans toilets, wipes shit from walls. Fingers, touching shit, now inside her. She loves it in spite of this.
No.
She loves it because of this.
“Do me, Mess Sergeant Gardner,” she begs.
*
Kelly shook her head. “Where did you get these?”
Now Shepard looks sheepish. “I might have…seen him writing it and been…concerned.”
“And where were you when you saw this?”
“Watching the security monitors in Zaeed’s room.”
“Spying, you mean.”
“You’re lucky we aren’t cleaning salarian guts off the wall right now. Do you know what I had to do to talk Zaeed out of killing Mordin?”
“I’m guessing it wasn’t bend over the nearest control console?”
Shepard shot her a dirty look. “Put it this way, Zaeed was okay right up until the part where Mordin brought Jessie into it.”
“That’s a disturbing implication.”
“Tell me about it.” Shepard shuddered.
Kelly smiled and shook his head. “Honestly, Commander, I’m not sure there’s much we can do. Fantasy is a very healthy outlet for curiosity and self-discovery. He’s not hurting anyone, and…”
“He wrote one about you.” Shepard pulled a sheet from the bottom of the stack.
Kelly couldn’t stop herself from reaching for the page, wondering who Mordin had matched her up with. Truthfully, she was a little excited. There were a lot of very attractive beings on the Normandy. As long as it wasn’t Legion, or Zaeed’s rifle, or…
*
Kelly highly sexual being. Loves to expand knowledge. Craves new experiences.
Has enjoyed intercourse with hanar, volus, elcor. Needs something more. Has found at last.
Naked, on all fours, Kelly arches back, offers rear to salivating potential mate. Licks ejaculate from lips. “Who’s good boy, Urz?”
Later—space hamster.
*
Kelly’s face paled.
“You’ve got to stop him. Right now.”
*The End*
If you are drinking something, put it down NOW. I'm not responsible for your computer system's welfare.
“Down with the Ship”
Kelly was excited to have been called to Commander Shepard’s cabin. The Commander was a good-looking man, and Kelly hoped to get a very good look at him, the sooner, the better.
But when she opened the door, she received two disappointments. One was that the Commander had a picture of an asari on his desk. The other was that he was fully dressed, with a stack of papers in front of him. He looked ready for work, not play.
He cleared his throat. “I’ve called you here to discuss a, er, sensitive psychological matter about a member of the crew.”
Kelly had a few guesses in mind. Grunt, breaking things. Miranda, backstabbing Shepard for the Illusive Man. Kasumi, taking anything that wasn’t nailed down. Tali fighting with Legion. Garrus fighting with Zaeed. Jack fighting with everyone.
“Who is it?” Kelly asked.
“Mordin.”
“Mordin?” Kelly protested. The salarian scientist was a little eccentric, but hardly Kelly’s first choice for problem crewmate.
“Now, ordinarily I’m not one to criticize what a man wants to do in his spare time, but I really think this is too much.” He shoved the papers into Kelly’s arms.
She looked down at the top one, and began reading.
*
“Doctor,” Miranda pants, hair disheveled, bosom heaving. “What is wrong with us?”
Heroic scientist consults datapad. “Pollen indigenous to planet. Reacts with human receptors. Triggers mating behaviours.”
Jack, angry: “We’re in heat? Like varren?”
“Precisely.”
Miranda, groaning, begs for cure. Only one to offer.
Moments later, it arrives.
“Commander Shepard here to help you ladies.”
Jack scowls. “One of him. Two of us.” Arousal is so intense it is painful. Own fingers do not satisfy.
Scientist smiles. “Learn to share.” Turns on omnitool. Records. For science.
*
Kelly’s lip curled, trying to stifle a gasp—or a grin. She wasn’t sure whether to be shocked, or amused. Salarians weren’t supposed to have sex drives, and she wasn’t sure what could have sparked him to try his hand at smutty fiction. On the other hand, she found this little tale of threesomes and voyeurism to be strangely amusing.
“You’re telling me Mordin has been making up erotic stories about you?”
“Yes, and it makes me uncomfortable as fuck.”
She favoured him with a smile. “Why Commander, I would have thought you would have been used to being the subject of people’s sexual fantasies.” Kelly had certainly harboured more than a few about herself and the Commander, for instance…
“Yeah, but I really don’t want to know that Mordin sits up nights imagining Zaeed screwing me up the ass.”
Kelly’s eyes widened.
Shepard groaned and removed the threesome story, revealing another printout underneath. “See for yourself.”
*
Shepard’s hole tight. Zaeed pounds him, harder, faster. Mutters in ear, “Sorry yet?”
Shepard grits teeth. Robbed Zaeed of vengeance. Must pay him back…somehow. This payback…strangely pleasurable. Endorphins flood body. Grits teeth harder. Will not let mercenary know he enjoys this.
Concern—can he live without experiencing this pleasure again?
Zaeed chuckles. “Jessie’s turn next.”
*
Kelly couldn’t help it. She giggled.
“Oh, you think it’s funny, do you?” Shepard scowled. “It gets worse.”
Kelly, unable to help herself, began shuffling through the stack.
*
Samara wears black leather, carries bullwhip. Smacks handle into palm as she stalks across the room. “You’ve been bad.”
Aria smiles. “Very bad.” She stretches hands over head, displaying full breasts, hard nipples. “Punish me, mistress.”
*
“This isn’t right. I’m a cop. You’re a hired killer.”
Thane grins. “Ex-cop now.” He bends over, exposing anus. “If you feel bad—walk away.”
Garrus cannot walk away. Grabs drell’s hips, enters him on swift thrust. “I’m addicted.” Licks Thane’s sweat, hopes to dream of better days—days before Archangel fell.
Krios whispers, “You’re no angel any more.”
*
Joker bursts into the cockpit. Hands to head. Shocked. Heartbroken. “EDI, how could you?”
Geth’s head lights up. “You cannot please her as I can.” Cables connect Legion to ship’s console. Data transfers in rhythmic pulses.
Blue light pulses through cockpit. EDI’s pleasure. “Organics inferior,” she breathes. “Consensus achieved.”
*
Grunt pants, slick with sweat, cock still moist with her juices. Speaking impossible.
She speaks instead. “Stolen—your virginity.” Kasumi smiles.
*
Tali throws back head, screaming in pleasure. His fingers in her suit, in her body. She cries. Should not do this. Should not do this with human. Especially not human who cleans toilets, wipes shit from walls. Fingers, touching shit, now inside her. She loves it in spite of this.
No.
She loves it because of this.
“Do me, Mess Sergeant Gardner,” she begs.
*
Kelly shook her head. “Where did you get these?”
Now Shepard looks sheepish. “I might have…seen him writing it and been…concerned.”
“And where were you when you saw this?”
“Watching the security monitors in Zaeed’s room.”
“Spying, you mean.”
“You’re lucky we aren’t cleaning salarian guts off the wall right now. Do you know what I had to do to talk Zaeed out of killing Mordin?”
“I’m guessing it wasn’t bend over the nearest control console?”
Shepard shot her a dirty look. “Put it this way, Zaeed was okay right up until the part where Mordin brought Jessie into it.”
“That’s a disturbing implication.”
“Tell me about it.” Shepard shuddered.
Kelly smiled and shook his head. “Honestly, Commander, I’m not sure there’s much we can do. Fantasy is a very healthy outlet for curiosity and self-discovery. He’s not hurting anyone, and…”
“He wrote one about you.” Shepard pulled a sheet from the bottom of the stack.
Kelly couldn’t stop herself from reaching for the page, wondering who Mordin had matched her up with. Truthfully, she was a little excited. There were a lot of very attractive beings on the Normandy. As long as it wasn’t Legion, or Zaeed’s rifle, or…
*
Kelly highly sexual being. Loves to expand knowledge. Craves new experiences.
Has enjoyed intercourse with hanar, volus, elcor. Needs something more. Has found at last.
Naked, on all fours, Kelly arches back, offers rear to salivating potential mate. Licks ejaculate from lips. “Who’s good boy, Urz?”
Later—space hamster.
*
Kelly’s face paled.
“You’ve got to stop him. Right now.”
*The End*