Silver Threads and Golden Needles

Silver Threads and Golden Needles


Silver threads and golden needles cannot mend this sorrowed heart of mine...


"…figured you two could do with getting me out of your hair for a bit, so I'll just unwind in the lounge for a bit, maybe have a drink…. Or two. You know. Relax a little...."

Jansen couldn't tell what Kaim was thinking, even on the best of days. At the moment, the soldier's face was entirely impassive, and Jansen just kept tumbling words out of his mouth in hopes of some response. A grunt, a nod, anything.

"You're going to get drunk and buy a woman, aren't you?"

Well, that wasn't the response that Jansen had been looking for. He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and shrugged, attempting to appear innocent.

"Hey now, I never said anything about women! I mean, sure there's a few of them hanging around the lounge, and I am devastatingly popular with the fairer sex, but I'm not planning on anything…." Which wasn't quite a lie. He wasn't planning on buying a woman, or seducing one. But most of the time, he didn't have to plan. It just happened. And this could well be the last chance that Jansen had for either women or wine. After they left the base, there was nothing until they reached Grand Staff. "And I'm not gonna get drunk. Just…have a couple of drinks."

"Mmm."

Kaim was staring at him. Man, that was uncomfortable. What a weird guy. And not just because of the immortal thing, which was pretty weird on its own. He was so quiet and so miserable, at least as far as Jansen could tell. He couldn't remember ever seeing Kaim so much as crack a smile. At least Seth had a sense of humor. Kind of. And she seemed to take some kind of joy out of living. Not Kaim, though. Now there was a guy who could use a drink. And a woman. Or three.

"Hey, if you're that worried, why don't you come along and keep an eye on me!" Not that Jansen found the idea of spending his potential last night in civilization with Mr. Glum and Angsty a particularly stimulating one, but maybe he could get Kaim to relax a little. And he was supposed to be keeping an eye on the guy.

Kaim was still just staring at him. Those eyes of his…. Talk about piercing. Jansen always felt like the immortal could see right through him - which wasn't a pleasant feeling at all. He knew damn well that neither Kaim nor Seth trusted him, but he couldn't help but wonder if it was more than just the fact that they thought he was an idiot. He didn't think Kaim could read his mind, but…well, sometimes when those cold eyes were fixed on him, Jansen wondered. And Jansen wondered what it was in Kaim and Seth's memories that Gongora was so desperate to keep hidden. What was so big a deal that Gongora could afford to just send him off with an energy crystal? Those things were rare and powerful, and Jansen didn't think Gongora trusted him that much.

No, he trusts that fat sack of money he gave you. Which I might as well start earning….

"Well?" Jansen pressed. "Whaddya say?"

Kaim didn't say anything. He sighed and waved his hand in the direction of the door, as though gesturing Jansen to lead on. He guessed that was as much of a 'yes' as he was going to get.

Maybe he could get Kaim to drink. Despite the other man's dour demeanor, Jansen kind of liked him. Maybe it was because of his demeanor. You couldn't help but want to cheer up a guy who never smiled.

"Then to the lounge!" Jansen risked clapping Kaim on the shoulder companionably. Kaim just tightened his lips a little more and shoved by him out the door.

***

Every bar was the same. Be it a hole in the wall in some crappy little travel town or an elaborate Pleasure House in Urah, Jansen had no trouble at all fitting in and making quick friends. Within minutes, he was comfortably seated at the lounge bar, surrounded by technicians and researchers, drinking a pint and listening to them bitch. Kaim had taken a seat in back, alone, not drinking and just staring off into space. So far, Operation Cheer Up Emo Immortal wasn't going so great. But Jansen was learning a lot about Grand Staff that he'd never known before. Not that he cared. Or that listening to the base guys complain and rail was at all relaxing. Why had he had to mention he worked for Gongora?

At least his suspicions that the guy was a crappy boss were being confirmed.

Oh, no, that's just sad…

Someone was droning on about chip gate enabling and copacetic volts or some crap like that, but Jansen was watching Kaim. Watching Kaim shoo away a very pretty young woman who wasn't wearing all that much. What was his problem? What red blooded guy said 'no' to a little pretty company? Even just for a drink? Maybe he's not into women, Jansen thought to himself. As bizarre as the concept was to him, he knew there were plenty of men who only wanted to go to bed with other men. And thinking on it, Kaim was pretty damn girly looking. Huh. He'd make a pretty girl.

Jansen excused himself from the fatally boring technician who'd been hogging his ear and headed over to where Kaim sat, arms folded, the set of his shoulders warning others to stay away.

"Brought you a drink. You look like you could use one."

"No, thank you."

"Wow, a 'thank you'." Jansen sat down beside Kaim anyway. "He's got manners after all! But seriously…take a load off. It's not strong stuff or anything." Which was why Jansen was already on his fourth drink and hardly feeling it. Stupid watered down beer….

"I said 'no'."

"And I'm saying 'yes'. One drink. What terrible thing is gonna happen if you have one drink of piss-ale that wouldn't even get a five year old drunk?"

Kaim sighed heavily and reluctantly reached for the pint that Jansen had brought. Well, that was progress.

"Will you stop pestering me?"

"About drinking? Yeah. But you're not getting rid of me that easily, buddy. In fact, I think we should take this opportunity to spend some quality getting-to-know-you time. Cause, you know, we really haven't. And it'd be kind of nice to hang out without you choking me. Or pulling a sword on me. Or punching me, or yelling at me, or telling me to…."

"Shut up, Jansen."

"Exactly!"

"Enough." Kaim knocked back his pint in two goes, drinking with a passionless determination that made Jansen uneasy. "We're heading out early in the morning. We need rest."

"Rest? Oh come on, it's not even ten o'clock. Hey! Another round over here!" Jansen signaled for the drinks and settled back more comfortably onto the couch. "So…how long you been a soldier?"

"I don't know."

"Right. Got a girlfriend back home?"

"No."

"Boyfriend?"

"No."

"You know, you suck at conversations." Clearly, talking wasn't on Kaim's agenda for the evening, and Jansen wasn't going to be able to change that. Unless he got Kaim really drunk. Maybe if he just kept talking and ordering drinks…

"So how'd you end up working for Gongora? I mean, not 'working' for him like I work for him, but you know what I mean. You two go back a long ways, or what?"

"Thirty years." Kaim was drinking his second drink. That was good. And he'd answered a question with actual information! This was definitely progress.

"Wow, that's before Urha was a republic. You must've been around for the revolution or whatever. That was a long time before I made it to Urha, though. I've only been working for the guy for about a year. And I've never done anything like this before." Jansen chuckled and shook his head, still not sure how he had ended up in this position.

"That much is obvious."

"Hey!" But Jansen laughed, hoping that Kaim was making a joke. Or trying. "No, seriously, if I didn't know any better, I'd say this was Gongora's way of getting rid of me. I mean, I know I'm something of an authority on magic and all, but what the hell do two immortals need me around for?"

"I've wondered the same myself." Kaim was appraising Jansen now, taking him in as though seeing him for the first time. "Gongora said, when I met with the council, that only an immortal had a chance of surviving an investigation into Grand Staff."

"He said that? Really?"

"Yes." Kaim shrugged. "Perhaps he assumes Seth and I will keep your hide in tact."

"Or he assumes I'll die and he doesn't have to worry about me running my mouth to the wrong people." Jansen knew who Gongora bribed and for what, who the councilman took bribes from, where official money was really going... He knew that Gongora had two sets of books, he knew Gongora had more money than he declared, and he had some suspicions as to what Gongora got up to with certain individuals. But if Gongora wanted him dead, there were easier ways to do it. "Eh, whatever. No sense in worrying about it now. I'm here, with you, and tomorrow's gonna come either way, so…."

"You aren't going to die tomorrow."

"I'm gonna hold you to that, you know." Jansen had lost count of drinks. There was quite a collection of empty mugs before them, and he had no idea how many were his and how many were Kaim's. "So you've really got nobody back home waiting for you?"

Kaim shook his head. Now that was just sad. Jansen couldn't imagine what it was like to have nothing at all.

"Do you?"

"Huh?"

"Have anyone waiting for you?"

"Me? Well, sure! I've got three lovely young ladies in Urha that I made a promise to."

"Brothel girls hardly count. They'll wait for anyone with enough coin in his purse."

"Hey. Brothel girls like me. A lot." And he liked them. A lot. "And they're people, Kaim. Sure, maybe they're prostitutes, but they're also really nice, sweet, loving young ladies. I do a lot more with women than just sleep with them, you know Including working girls."

"What are their names?"

"….what?"

"The names of these sweet, caring girls you claim as the loved ones awaiting your return. What are their names?"

"Um…." Oh, crap. What were there names? "One of'em was Trina. I think. We were really drunk. What does it matter, anyway? At least I've got something to hold on to."

"The only thing more pathetic than a man who has nothing is a man who has nothing but refuses to admit it."

This really wasn't what Jansen had had in mind when he decided bonding time with Kaim was a good idea. And by now, the weak booze was starting to take effect. Right when he had to actually think. Thinking had never been his strong point, but thinking while half-way to drunk was even worse.

"That was a jab at me, okay, I get it. But you've got me all wrong. So maybe I don't have a steady girlfriend, but that doesn't mean I've got nothing. Hell, I've got more than most guys will ever have in their whole lives. Every day it's something new. New town, new sights, new food, new wine, new job, new women…. It's an adventure. I wake up every day genuinely happy to be alive. I love my life, Kaim. And when I do finally kick off for good, I'm not gonna have any regrets. And I say that's pretty good, so…spare me the lecture."

"No regrets at all?"

"Not a one." And thinking back over his life, Jansen honestly couldn't think of anything he regretted. Sure, he'd ended up in a lot of uncomfortable situations, but the fun of that was getting out of them. And yeah, he'd done a lot of illegal things. But nothing like killing somebody or something. He'd seen some amazing things, he'd gone to bed with the most beautiful girls in the world, he'd sampled the finest that the known world had to offer…. What was there to regret?

"Jansen? How old are you?"

"Hey now, a gentleman never asks. But if you must know, I'm twenty six."

"Plenty of time left for regrets, then."

"Wow. You know, drinking time is supposed to be happy time, and you're just a big downer. What do I have to do to change that? Since clearly pumping you full of booze isn't working. Come on, smile. I'll buy you whore! Hell, at this point, I'll go to bed with you if it'd make you perk up some."

"…what?"

"I said at this point, I'd have sex with you. For free, too. That is how miserable you are."

"I'm not certain whether to question you on your sudden apparent interest, or the fact that you felt you had to specify there wouldn't be a fee involved."

"But no questioning that you're miserable. Point 1: I've had sex with other guys before. And you're a pretty good looking guy and I've had enough to drink that I'm open to a change of pace. Point 2: I'm a good looking guy. And there's plenty of folks who'll, you know. Pay a good looking guy for certain services…."

"You're a prostitute?"

"No! I just….don't let an opportunity pass me by, that's all. And since I saw you chasing away pretty girls, I figured I'd offer. I mean, I could definitely go for a good tumble in the sheets. And if I had to guess, I'd say you haven't gotten laid in decades. No wonder you're such a sourpuss."

Completely to Jansen's surprise, Kaim was laughing. Not very hard or obviously, and he was covering his curved lips with a hand, but he was laughing. So Jansen laughed too, since it was a pretty funny situation when he thought about it.

"I highly doubt a lover would change my mood."

"Maybe not much, but it's not like it'd hurt. I mean…unless you're into that, I guess. Are you into that? Cause I'm not really into that…." Yeah, it was time to stop drinking. He'd have a headache in the morning if he had any more. Though really, just the fact that he was more and more seriously considering sleeping with Kaim should have told him he was more than just a bit tipsy. But honestly, it wasn't that terrible an idea. Kaim was pretty. He had a great figure - slender and curved at the hips and waist. And nice hair. Really nice hair. Not to mention his face. Jansen knew plenty of women who would kill for those cheekbones and those perfect cupid's bow lips.

Huh. Kaim's…actually pretty gorgeous, thinking about it. Wow.

"You aren't serious."

"Yeah, I am. What's the big deal? It's just sex. I mean, you do have sex, don't you?" Hell, it would probably nice to be able to dabble in manly love without any pressure or weird power issues. There was no money, no contracts, no business.

Kaim nodded, staring into what was left of his last drink.

"Okay. So…why not? What, never done it with another guy before?" Oh, how the hell would Kaim know? He didn't know anything about himself.

"It isn't whether you're a man or a woman, Jansen. It's that you're you."

"Hey, I'm damn good! And it's not gonna be awkward in the morning, I'm not gonna go bragging to Seth, and I'm not gonna think any differently about you. But we could both use it, and I happen to think you're a pretty guy. This is flawless logic! You can't argue with it!"

Kaim gave him a look that said he very clearly could argue with it, if he chose. Jansen fiddled with his hands and waited for some sort of solid 'yes' or 'no'. Maybe this hadn't been a bright idea. Maybe he was going to get punched after all. When in doubt, Jansen did as he always did. He kept talking.

"And look at it this way: you're stressed. Sex is a great way to get rid of stress. It's also a great way to clear your head before doing anything important. Besides, you can make sure I don't end up going home with some camp floozy who'll tie me up and steal all my money. And when's the last time you just did something for the fun of it? Or because it wasn't work? I mean…you just spent months at war with Khent. Then you get home and get sent out here with next to no warning with a couple of strangers. You hardly got a night's rest, and you definitely didn't get a chance to relax or work off any battle-steam or whatever. You need this, Kaim."

The other man set down his beer without finishing it. He stood, his eyes fixed on the wall and his expression back to blank. No response. Jansen sighed and threw up his hands in defeat, oddly disappointed that he wasn't going to get to drag Kaim off to bed. Well, that was that, then. Maybe that little blond that Jansen had seen approaching Kaim was still around….

"Well?" Kaim stared down at him, blankly.

"Huh? Oh, wait, what?"

"Were you coming or not?"

Jansen bit his tongue quickly to stifle the automatic response his alcohol loosened mind came up with. So that wasn't a no? Damn it, why couldn't Kaim just communicate like normal people!?!

"Uh…yes?"

Jansen scrambled to his feet, spilled some coins on the table, and hurried to the door. Well, looked like he was getting laid after all. How the hell had this happened, again?

"We should probably head back to my room. I get kinda loud, sometimes, and I've got a bunk at the end, so…no neighbors. Kind of a bonus, nice little perk…" He rambled all the way back to the rather cramped room he'd been given while they stayed at the base. He flipped on a light on and winced a bit. Narrow, one-person cot. With cheap sheets. Well, they'd make do.

"So…" Jansen rocked back and forth on his feet, not sure how to start. He'd never gone to bed with anybody like Kaim before. He was used to sex being a fun and lighthearted kind of thing. Or at least he was used to partners who didn't just stand there and glare.

Except that Kaim wasn't just standing there. He was systematically unbuckling his armor. Jansen watched, leaning against the wall. There was nothing in Kaim's movements that gave any indication that he was here for bedsport. He may as well have been taking off his armor for some sort of military inspection. He unclipped and unfastened with a practiced efficiency. Once his breastplate was unhinged or whatever, he ran a cloth over it before setting it neatly at the foot of the bed.

"Wow," Jansen said, shaking his head. Kaim straightened up and raised an eyebrow in questioning. "That has got to be the least sexy strip show I've ever seen. And that's awful, because you've got a great body."

"I wasn't putting on a show."

"Well…you could. Jeeze, do I always have to do everything?" He pushed himself off the wall and crossed to where Kaim stood. He looked a lot different without his breastplate on. Smaller. Less scary. His undershirt hugged his body, looking more like some kind of elaborate tattoo than a piece of clothing. The effect was, for lack of a better word, pretty.

"Hey…your earrings match your eyes." Jansen reached up and brushed away that one irritating bit of hair that never seemed to stay put. "You've got nice eyes."

"You never still your tongue, do you?"

"Nope." Jansen's hands found Kaim's hips, pulling him closer. "But uh…that's not a bad thing in the bedroom, you know. I can do a whole lot with my tongue. I've got…talents."

"So you've claimed."

Kaim's face still unreadable. His skin was warm to the touch, his waist curved and slender against Jansen's palms. He had a woman's waist. It was both familiar and odd at the same time, the weird blend of masculine and feminine that Kaim seemed to embody. Jansen's fingers worked their way into the band of Kaim's pants, deftly slipping beneath the heavy fabric. The tight belts that crossed Kaim's form were snug, almost painful, but his hips against Jansen's hands were smooth and thinly arched. Warm skin under his was really all Jansen needed to get going. Even so simple a gesture as awkwardly stroking Kaim's hims in the painful confines of his trousers was exciting him.

With reluctance, Jansen pulled back his hands and reached for Kaim's belts, tugging at straps and buckles.

"You know…this outfit of yours is way too complicated," he muttered, yanking at the belt and finally pulling it loose. Kaim pushed him back a step and bent, going to the lacings of his greaves, Jansen took the opportunity to loosen his own belt and slip out of his robe. The only sounds in the room were the rustle of fabric and the clatter of metal as they removed articles of clothing. When Kaim was in nothing but his pants and Jansen had made it down to his undershirt, Jansen reached for Kaim again. There was much too little actual contact between them.

"Relax," he urged, hands sliding around to rest in the small of Kaim's back. The other man was standing rigidly, almost at attention. It was like trying to kindle a spark from a statue. If Kaim was just gonna stand there or lay there like a dead fish, he could just wander on back to his own bunk. "Just let yourself go, Kaim. There's no enemies here, there's no monsters, there's no battle. It's just me and you and that bed, and that's all you ought to be thinking of right now. And…you know. How nice it is to touch somebody. To be wanted…."

He kept talking as he stroked Kaim's back, trying to coax a response. Anything. Of course, for all Jansen knew, Kaim was slipping into one of his little flashback space out sessions. Which would suck during sex. A lot. And Kaim was looking a little out of touch with things. He was staring at Jansen, but the mage felt like he wasn't actually seeing anything. So was it just second thoughts, or something else?

Whatever the problem was, Kaim's eyes focused once more and fixed on Jansen's as he spoke his soothing encouragements. Not exactly the most promising of replies, but it was enough for the mage.

Jansen leaned forward and ran his lips lightly over the line of Kaim's neck, shivering at that first heated contact of mouth on anything. He kissed the edge of Kaim's jaw, tasting the faint mix of soap and sweat that lingered there. He felt hands on his shoulders, and then tugging at his scarf, unwinding it and drawing it off of him. Finally, some active participation! Jansen turned his head and found Kaim's lips, catching them playfully in a teasing kiss. Now things were going smoothly, Kaim kissing him back, touching him. Jansen ran his hands over Kaim's shoulders, urging the other man backwards, towards the bed. Kaim moved fluidly, stepping lightly back even as he ran a hand up into Jansen's hair.

"Bed," he grunted. Jansen just nodded and urged Kaim downwards, pushing him gently until he sat at the edge of the bed. He went down to his knees between Kaim's legs, looking up at the older man. Yeah, Kaim was definitely nice looking. All narrow and muscular and curves and angles at once. That weird duality was even more apparent now, without the armor. Jansen could imagine a whole lot of women and men falling over themselves for Kaim. He was still scary and way too intense, but whatever. At least Jansen could hope he was scary and intense right now because the sex was just that good.

And Kaim was getting into things. His weird daze was passed completely, and apparently he was taking the offered advice of what to pay attention to. Jansen felt the immortal tug at his hair band, loosening his hair. It fell around his face, half hiding him with its fall. Kaim's hands were in it, pulling it back and stroking through it slowly. Almost hesitantly. It felt nice, and Jansen knelt for a moment with his hands on Kaim's knees, just letting the other man play with his hair. Kaim had really long fingers, and surprisingly smooth for a man who made his living by the sword.

Getting impatient, Jansen tipped up his head as his hands ran along Kaim's thighs. He could feel the man's muscles through the thin material of his trousers, tight and hard. There was a scary amount of power in that slim, feminine frame. But right now all of that power was at bay. He could feel it. Kaim was relaxed - comparatively speaking - but even then Jansen could feel the cords of energy and speed and skill beneath the other man's skin. Kaim could probably kill him with one hand if he decided he wanted to.

Which was, at the moment, an oddly arousing thought. Not that Jansen needed help getting aroused - he was practically painfully hard at this point - but the realization of how vulnerable he was letting himself be with a man who could end his life without a thought or word of warning…. Now that was intense.

Kaim, unaware of Jansen's thoughts, leaned down and they kissed again. Jansen fumbled with Kaim's trousers as their lips parted and their tongues met. It was hot and insistent and Kaim's hands were knotted in Jansen's undershirt, pulling him roughly into the kiss. Into his mouth. His very needy, desperate mouth. The removing of trousers in a timely and smooth manner was now an impossible task, and Jansen just flailed at the buttons and ties keeping the other man's pants on. Eventually he managed. And then Kaim was pulling him up and over, onto the bed, tearing at his shirt. Kaim's pants were long gone by the time Jansen managed to get a proper foothold on the bed - the metal army issue cot was not meant for two people - and Kaim was already tearing at the buttons at his hips.

This…is really hot. And awkward, in a way. Jansen wasn't used to being on top with other guys. Not that he was a chick or anything, it was just that usually he was being paid for it. That meant pleasing the customer, and the customer always wanted to be on top. But Kaim was underneath him, yanking Jansen's hips down to meet his own once Jansen's over pants were discarded. There was still a layer of clothing between them, and Kaim grunted in frustration.

"Why do you wear so many clothes?"

"'Cause they look good on me." Jansen grinned into Kaim's scowling face. He lifted his hips and Kaim wrenched down his final garment. Now they were both naked, stretched out on the too-narrow bed and flushed with exertion and arousal. Now Jansen had a moment to look at Kaim, really look at him. He'd figured that without the armor and the giant sword, Kaim would just look like any other guy. But he didn't. It wasn't anything the mage could pin down exactly, there was just something different about the man. It was beautiful, but eerie. For one weird moment, Jansen felt like he was in bed with a ghost.

So not a sexy thought. Jansen shook himself and focused on parts of Kaim at a time. His long, lean legs. Legs that went up to heaven and beyond, and melted into a pair of the most slender hips Jansen had ever seen on a man. Perfectly toned calves, sleek thighs....

Jansen buried his face in Kaim's shoulder as the other man brought their hips together again, hard flesh meeting hard flesh in amazingly pleasant friction. The immortal was grunting and panting under him, and Jansen did his best to move his hips in some kind of rhythm. This was a hell of a lot better than any other sex he'd had with another man, and it wasn't even sex! This rubbing and writhing was all the immortal seemed inclined to go for. Which was…well, it was just great, really. Kaim's body against Jansen's was taught and hard and slick, and his hands dug into the mage's shoulders, the small of his back, his buttocks. Jansen bit the curve of Kaim's neck as they ground together. Kaim groaned and exhaled hotly and Jansen screamed and called out encouragement with reckless abandon.

When he finally climaxed, Kaim's legs were tangled around his and he could barely hold himself up over the other man. He collapsed on top of Kaim and laid there, breathing rapidly as Kaim moved against him and held him until the immortal found his own release.

They lay there like that for a long few moments. Jansen sprawled across Kaim, his hair plastered in his face and Kaim's arms loosely draped over his back, both of them waiting for their breathing to slow. It was kind of nice, in a weird sort of way. Jansen had never pegged the immortal as a cuddling type. Of course, he also hadn't expected Kaim to be so aggressive in bed. Not that he was complaining. That had been nice. But now Jansen's hip was starting to cramp up, and he pushed himself up and off of the other man.

"Well, I'm gonna sleep well tonight," Jansen said as he cleaned himself up. "Now that is the way to get ready for a big adventure!"

Kaim, as Jansen should have predicted, said nothing. The mage risked a look over his shoulder and watched as Kaim sat rather limply on the edge of he bed, hands dangling between his knees. Huh. That was not the way Jansen wanted to leave what should have been a satisfied partner. In fact, it looked more like Kaim was coming out of one of his little freak outs. Again. Great.

"Kaim? You okay? Don't tell me you're regretting it already…."

"It isn't that."

Jansen pulled on his pants and bent down to search for his hair band. "Well, I know I wasn't bad, so you sure can't be bummed about the sex…."

"Can't you ever be serious for one moment?" Kaim growled in frustration, and Jansen was taken aback a moment. Where the hell had this come from?

"I was very serious there for a lot of moments!" Jansen raked his hair back behind his ears and sat on the bed. At the far end. "Which I thought you were very appreciative of." He leaned back with a sigh. "But seriously? You're scaring me. And I know you scare me a lot, but I'm half naked and exhausted and I really don't like running under those circumstances. Plus, you're faster than me and I don't have anywhere to hide if you completely lose it."

"I'm not going to hurt you, Jansen. This has nothing to do with you."

"Really? Cause…I mean, there's no one else here. Just you and me." And they'd shared a bed, and Jansen had thought it had been pretty damn great. Kaim had seemed like he was enjoying it, but obviously that was just all wrong.

Kaim gave a dry, harsh chuckle. "Not in here," he said, tapping his temple with a bitter expression.

"Ooookay." Yup, Kaim was going crazy. And he had had one of his freak outs sometime since coming back to the room. Great. "Um. You…wanna talk about it?"

"No." Kaim shook his head and glanced over at Jansen, meeting his eyes. There was something there that made the mage feel sick with sorrow. Something haunted and empty and almost inhuman. The raw pain he saw chilled and humbled him. It was, by far, the scariest thing he'd ever seen in the immortal's eyes. And Kaim's eyes were scary things under even the best of circumstances. "It's probably nothing…." Kaim looked away, out the high narrow window. The harsh moonlight filtering in washed away whatever expression the immortal had been wearing, turning him into a pale statue again.

"Just something I remembered from a dream."