Green-Eyed Turian (A Star to Sail Her By series)

It's funny how I've started measuring time from our last disaster. For a while, it was 'X days since Cerberus brought me back' or 'X months since the original Normandy crashed.' These days, it was, of course, all about Omega 4. It was 2 weeks past, and slowly, the team was reconvening on the Normandy. They'd...we'd... all needed some time away from each other, some to revel in life and their families and friends, some for quiet introspection. Some hadn't gone far, content to spend some time at the Citadel, or with each other.

Samara had left us. She had heard some unpleasant things from asari space, and her justicar blood was rising. I released her from her compact with me. She promised that she would return when we needed her next. I didn't doubt it. Zaeed had left us as well, his job done and his massive pile of credits sitting in a Noverian bank. We'd parted on somewhat amiable terms. He was still sore about Vido, but my promise to use my information network to help find the bastard put me back in his good graces. Legion was taking care of some serious data transfer out on a remote moon, and was not sure if 'this platform' would be returning, or if he'd be bringing friends come the necessary time. I had my fingers crossed for him.

Jack... no one was really quite sure. It was Jack, after all. She'd toned down a bit once she'd let herself get a little comfortable with most of the team (Miranda distinctly excluded), but she was climbing the walls by the time we finally put down. I heard something about a stolen high-end personal ship not long after we put down at the Citadel, so I had my suspicions that, if she'd be rejoining us, it would be on her terms.

Miranda and Jacob were off doing some soul-searching. I suspected Miranda more so than Jacob. Since we'd broken rather emphatically with Cerberus, Miranda had a lot of introspection ahead of her. And mourning. Cerberus had been her chosen family, and rejecting the Illusive Man was more like losing a father than losing her own father was. Jacob knew this, and as the person who had known her longest, and the best (though he still never told me about their past), he was set to help her in any way he could. I owed him several drinks.

Tali was on her way back from the Migrant Fleet. Joker had offered to go pick her up, strangely magnanimous of him, but she was tagging along with a friend's daughter just starting her Pilgrimage and lending some sage advice on the way. She'd considered staying with the fleet, but, after dealing with quarian politics for a week, decided her abilities were better devoted to our cause.

Mordin was giving a final lecture on the Prothean/Collector/Reaper connection at his nephew's university and would be along in a few days. He relished the research opportunities traveling with us gave him, and was keen to start focusing full-time on the Reaper threat. I'll admit, I missed him. Strange and distant though he was, he was always fun to talk to.

We'd be picking up Grunt last. He was spending some quality time on Tuchanka with the Urdnot clan, studying Krogan 101 with the shaman and his new relatives. Wrex promised me that he'd be back 'better than new and twice as krogan.' I wasn't sure what that meant, but I thanked him for it anyway.

But then, some of us had stayed.

Joker, of course, had stayed on the ship, continuing to spend an unhealthy amount of time with EDI and confined in the cockpit, 'tuning up his baby.' Ah well, it made him happy, so I wasn't going to argue. Kelly Chambers had family on the Citadel, so she was off with them most of the time. Thane, of course, was catching up with his estranged son.

And Garrus and I... were becoming Garrus and I. My longtime comrade, battle-mate, the one I always wanted at my back, now spending a lot more time with my front as well. He had some friends on the Citadel from his C-Sec days, and I spent some time shooting the bull with Councillor Anderson, but we spent a fair bit just hanging out, getting to know more about each other than the bits and pieces we'd squeezed in between the geth and the Collectors and the Reapers. Since we'd had the... talk... in the battery chamber, the conversations were peppered a bit with more intimate communication as well... but mostly, we were, for lack of a better term, dating.

Which brought us here.

Our other crew members, the ones who wanted to stay signed on with me instead of Cerberus, were already filtering aboard. Many of them had just taken some ample shore leave and returned with glad hearts. A few skipped out to be with their families. A few stuck with Cerberus, afraid to abandon their pension funds and the job security the organization offered. A few ran and never looked back.

It was a quiet afternoon. Garrus was off with a couple C-Sec buddies celebrating someone's promotion. I was checking over the ship, making sure Gabby and Kenneth had everything they needed to finish fixing the major damage. Tired of the quiet, I started working out the requisition list on the CIC terminal, enjoying the bustling of the crew getting their workstations back to the way they liked them... Collector-blood free and in one piece, for some of them.

Thane, of course, scared the crap out of me. Damned quiet snipers. He and Garrus would be the death of me yet. I must have jumped a foot when he said hello.

"I did not mean to startle you," he began apologetically. I waved it off.

"Don't worry... you... are very good at what you do. Which can be very bad for my pulse rate." I laughed. "How are things?"

"Things are...better." He looked a bit more relaxed than the last time I'd seen him. "My son... he and I spent a great deal of time together this afternoon. He showed me his new apartment. It is very nice... small, but clean and in a good section of the ward."

"That's wonderful!" I was relieved. Things had been so tense between them when we first got to the Citadel that I had a lump in my throat every time I tentatively asked.

"He has also found... a companion." He smiled. "Asari. Very nice person. Tall, thin, part-salarian, I believe. Very talkative. We're having dinner together, the three of us, later this evening."

"Fantastic!" I was thrilled. I gave him a friendly arm-squeeze. "I am so happy for you!"

He gave a slight bow, glancing at my hand and following my arm up to my eyes. I dropped contact, hoping I didn't offend. He smiled. "I am, too. Thank you, Shepard. This would not have been possible without you."

"My pleasure." I glanced at the time on my monitor. I'd promised myself something around 17:00, and I was determined to see it through. It was 16:50. "I'm headed up to my room. See you later!"

He followed me to the elevator. "I must get changed. May I ride with you?"

"Of course!"

As the doors closed, I saw Garrus at the other end of the CIC. Crap! Missed him. I shrugged it off. He knew where to find me, and I was determined to take care of business.

----

He watched her squeeze his arm, grinning broadly. Thane's eyes wandered up along her arm, into her gaze. She was smiling, laughing. He said something to her, and she gave him that little almost-embarrassed smile that always crossed her lips when someone commended her on something.

And he wondered why this was bothering him so damned much.

It's Shepard. The woman who redefined loyalty and devotion to the people she cared about. Even some that she didn't... she'd find enough caring for them, too. His life was in her hands countless times, and hers in his. She'd been in his hands only a few times, but each meant the universe to him and, he thought, to her as well.

She turned to go. Thane watched her, then followed, catching her attention as she stepped onto the elevator. She held the door for him. She looked ahead, finally seeing him. He saw her eyes widen.

The doors closed. Garrus felt a low growl slip out.

His eyes closed. I trust her. I trust her beyond measure.

They opened again, narrow, full of blue fire.

Thane, on the other hand...

---

There is only so much calibrating one can do on the same set of guns. Still, Garrus poured himself into it, checking, double-checking, lost-track-of-how-many checking. Of course, the main battery array felt... different. Reminded him of her. The first time she propositioned him, catching him completely off-guard. Awkward joking. Anticipation. Of talking to her later, telling her how he felt about her. The smile, the near-tears of the strongest woman he ever knew.

Of picking her up and...

He ran his hand over the console surface. He could still hear her laugh, her sighs, the way she said his name, first a whisper, then louder, passionately...

Why, in the name of the spirits, was he so damned worried? He knew her. He KNEW her. She would never, ever do anything like that. Anything that would hurt him. And her. And...he didn't even want to think of the drell's name at the moment. Why was the pit of his stomach a roiling cauldron of... he couldn't even specify the emotion. Just that his chest cavity was emptying into it.

This is stupid.

He kicked the console, harder than he intended.

I'll go talk to her.

Hopefully, he could calm himself down in the elevator.

Now.

---

Still cursing himself as a fool, he stepped off the elevator outside Shepard's room. He shook his head at himself, taking a few deep breaths.

You're being...

He raised his hand to knock on the door.

"Oh... oh wow..."

Huh?

Her voice.

"Oh... god... yeah..."

Garrus stood outside, listening to the sounds. He could hear her panting hard, gasping, just as she had the night before. With him. Rhythmic. Labored.

"C'mon...a little harder..." she panted.

HIs stomach rolled. What the hell...?

"Faster...little faster...mmmph...yeah..."

The intensity of his emotions surprised him. Blinded him. Hurt. Disappointment. Anger. All welled up unbidden, fast as a varren charge and twice as painful.

His fists balled. He wanted to cry. He wanted to hit something. Hard. Not her, but something.

The rhythmic thumps bore into his brain.

Or someone.

"Almost...there...umph..."

He stepped back. He needed to get away. Fast. Turning to the elevator, his fist swung out, connecting with the metal wall next to it with a clang.

The door behind him swished open. He didn't turn around.

"Garrus...hey...you ok?" Shepard sounded out of breath, tired.

He turned around, fists still clenched. He didn't want to look. Didn't want to see.

Shepard stood before him, decked out in a sweat-stained t-shirt, shorts, and a towel draped over her shoulders. Her hair was plastered to her forehead, damp with sweat. She wiped her face with a towel end, trying to stop panting.

I am the biggest idiot in the history of idiocy.

He looked past her and saw the terrain simulator module she kept tucked under her bunk.

"Still...trying to...whew... get my endurance back up." She laughed breathlessly. "Cerberus... built the muscles, but I haven't really... gotten the chance to... use them on open terrain yet." She cocked her head, studying him. "Are you ok? You look...really tense."

What can I say? I lost faith in my best friend and confidante, the woman I love, because I heard her working out and thought the worst? That I am Lord High Jackass and need a swift kick in the netherscales? That I'm a jealous ass?

She stepped forward and put a hand on his arm. Her skin was hot, moist. The embarrassed flush in his face was warmer. Fortunately, his blush was hidden by scales. "Garrus... you're kinda scaring me here." Her hand squeezed his arm. "Talk to me."

The guilt was too much. He dropped to a knee and bowed his head. Shepard stepped back, startled.

"I'm an idiot. And I love you." The words escaped at last. More than he had intended to say, but there they were.

---

I stood there, looking down at him, stunned. What...the...fuck...?

Wait... he just said...

Huh?

It was my turn to stand stock-still and silent. Finally, I shook my head, dropped to my knees, and caught him under the chin, tipping his face up. I was back to being shorter than him, so it wasn't too hard.

I tipped up his eyepiece, eye to eye with him. "Explain. Now." My voice was firm, and a little more annoyed than I'd wanted it to be.

He sighed, eyes closed. A hand covered his face. He was nervous, embarrassed. I could tell. I shoved his hand away and kissed him on the nose. "G, hon, it's me. Shepard. Remember? You can tell me. What. Is. Wrong?"

He sighed hard and shook his head. "I..." He growled inwardly. "...just had a weird...jealousy...thing." He gestured vaguely towards the room, towards my terrain simulator. "Through the door, it sounded..."

I was still mystified. Then, it clicked. I'd been hassled a fair bit back in training for the noises I made on exercise machines when I tried to motivate myself. Hey guys, Shepard's sexin' up the gym again...Lucky machines...Hey Shep, you can use ME as a treadmill... The machines next to me were always popular. Dicks. It was why I bought the private module to begin with. The crew didn't need to hear me like that.

I couldn't help it. I snorted, trying hard not to laugh in his face. "Y'mean you...thought I..." I was shaking, sputtering. Little choked noises kept slipping out. I think he thought I was crying. His head hung lower, the most miserable looking turian I'd ever seen in my life.

"I am so... I don't even deserve you. How could I...even think..." His voice was thick with emotion.

I shook my head. I wasn't angry. Amused, slightly. Exasperated, yeah. Worried about him, definitely. He wasn't looking at me.

"Because I make sex-noises when I work out?" He blinked hard and looked up. I think my frankness had stunned him just enough to break through. "Because I got a lot of 'hot Shepard-on-treadmill action' jokes in Basic?" I leaned forward and gave him a gentle headbutt to the forehead. "C'mere, doofus."

He coughed, then leaned forward, pulling me into his arms. "I'm so sorry...so..." The scales on his cheeks were damp.

"If you apologize one more time, I swear I'm gonna smack you." I laughed into his neck and nuzzled him. Then, I remembered what he'd said.

All of what he said.

A sense of gravity hit me. I pulled him closer. "I love you too, by the way," I whispered in his ear.

He tensed, then melted. "Thank every single spirit." Relieved at last.

Finally, I pulled away, making eye contact again. "Ok, now that you're absolved, c'mon. I need a shower in the worst way, and I just got sweat all over you." I grabbed his hands and stood up, hauling him up with me.

His mandibles twitched into his usual adorable crooked wiseass smile. "Wouldn't be the first time..."

"Yeah, but it's more fun when you're sweating WITH me." I kept my grip on one hand, towing him behind me towards the bathroom. I was still chuckling under my breath. A thought hit me. I looked back at him, stopping in my tracks in the bathroom doorway.

"Who did you think I was with?"

"I..." He stopped and looked downward, conflicted once more. He shrugged. I raised an eyebrow and dropped his hand, crossing my arms. "Buh....I don't know!" He threw his hands up in a gesture of self-exasperation.

My finely-honed bullshit-o-meter was pinging. I stepped forward and put my arms around him, leaning my head on his chest. "C'mon. Spill."

I felt him chuff into my hair. "You haven't noticed how... some of the team looks at you, have you?"

I shrugged. Not to be immodest, but I am aware that I'm a fairly attractive woman. And, well, the Shepard mystique seemed to be the subject of a few tabloid comments here and there...and a few VI programs that I'd rather not think about. I started mentally tallying off the members one by one. Jacob, naaah... Thane.... waiiiit....

Downstairs. The CIC. Oh for...

I reared back with a gasp of amazed and amused outrage. "You don't think I'm... into..." I didn't want to say his name. God forbid he meant someone else... "Thane...do you?"

I could see from the spark in his eyes that I'd figured it out. "You haven't seen the way he watches you?" he finally said, a touch of growl under it.

"Well..." Yeah. I had, actually. He was quiet about it, but not subtle. "He can watch all he wants." I shook my head, snorting softly. "He's not getting me."

Garrus pulled me closer, arms tight around me. "I know." He sighed. "I KNOW, and I trust you. Implicitly. More than I've ever trusted anyone." He growled a little. "I just don't trust him."

I laughed into his chest. "I think I can take him."

He gave a reluctant laugh. "I know."

"This isn't gonna be a problem, is it?" I looked up at him, eyes stern.

He looked down and hung his head again, looking more than a little ashamed. "No."

"Good." I grinned. "There's only one guy I want in my bed, and he's right here."

I knew I probably should have been more annoyed, but it was touching at the same time. I'd never really had someone get jealous over me, at least to my knowledge. I gave him a quick squeeze, then released him and stepped back. Turning to face the bathroom, I yanked my shirt over my head and tossed it over my shoulder. Garrus caught it in the face.

"Or should I say, one guy I want in my shower..."

"Mmph...oh!" He unsnagged it from his eyepiece in time to catch my bra. "Hey..."

I looked over my shoulder. "Are you coming or what?"

"Yes ma'am!" He smiled broadly, mandibles flaring. He tossed my clothes to the side and pulled off his shirt and eyepiece eagerly.

I finished stripping and turned the water on, warm but not too warm. I faced up into the spray, letting it rinse out my hair and gently blast the sweat off my face and neck. When I turned and opened my eyes, I had a naked turian joining me in the spray. The water made his scales glisten, iridescent patterns forming. He was watching the water run in rivulets down my body, between my breasts, down my stomach. He leaned in close and ran the tip of his tongue up the side of my neck, tasting the water. I shivered. He stepped closer to me, catching the spray in his face. He sneezed, laughing, then relaxed into it. Dark blue trickled down his mandibles, down his neck, sprinkling me a little bit. My breath caught for a moment before I realized it was just his markings.

He noticed that I was developing blue streaks and shifted slightly. I reached up, running my hands over his face, being careful around the scars and the titanium at his jaw. Blue water streamed down my arms for a moment. Soon, his face was just shining scales and deep blue eyes.

"Wow. This is the most naked I've ever seen you." I laughed. He joined me with that deep, throaty laugh that always makes me melt. I kissed him once in the center of his chest, then started kissing my way up towards his neck. His hands roamed over my back, cupped my ass, traced gentle claws up to my shoulder and back down.

I slipped my fingers under his ridge, tracing little spirals up the back of his neck. His head tipped back, eyes half-closed, water spilling down his exposed throat. I kissed it, drinking in some of the water. He caught my waist and spun me, lifting me and pinning me gently but firmly against the wall. I hooked my legs up over his hips, supporting my weight. I felt him, hard and warm with that slight twist, brushing beneath my thigh.

The spray was between us now, warm water on both of our chests, running down our arms, making his scales slick and slippery. Eye to eye, he tipped his forehead against mine, then began to lap gently down the side of my neck again. The closeness, the warm water, the feel of his tongue tickling my skin... I was trembling in his arms, raking his neck gently with my nails, running my hands over the scales on his back, making soft noises of desire. My knees squeezed him firmly. His breath was coming faster. My nails raked down his neck, down his throat, my lips moving to kiss their way down the same path.

His hands slipped beneath my ass, claws gently digging into the soft flesh. I felt him move away from me just enough to ease my hips down a couple inches. I relaxed my legs enough to let him. He positioned himself carefully and looked deep into my eyes as he entered me. My entire body shuddered with the intensity. My head pressed against the tile, eyes slammed shut, back arching, chest pressing into his. That sexy laugh just made me tremble more,

I felt myself storming the summit already, arms tight around Garrus, gasping his name, lifted in his arms with each solid thrust. "Oh...oh god...GarrUS..." Each little exclamation, each cry, drove him onward, relentless and thorough and strong and... mine. I opened my eyes to lock with his again as I felt myself rising on the crest, swallowing hard and smiling and, finally, slamming my head back against the tiles, eyes blind, a wordless scream escaping my throat. A few more powerful thrusts and he roared his last, face buried in my neck.

Water poured over us, washing away the sweat and semen and cooling us down. It took me a long moment to bring my face back to his, still panting. I rested my forehead on his.

"I love this." Garrus's voice was quiet, peaceful. "Holding you, that little smile you get after..."

"Mmmm." I didn't have words. I didn't need them.

I pressed my lips to his forehead, tipping my head back against the tiles. Yeah, that's gonna be a bump... a distant realization, easy to ignore. I must have winced a little. One hand left my rear and moved towards the back of my head. I made up the support by tightening my knees, no mean feat considering they felt like jelly, and shook my head gently.

"Mm'fine," I assured him.

He shook his head, eyes closed, chuckling. "Stubborn." A gentle rebuke. His hand slipped beneath me again, lifting me. He slipped free, but didn't let go. Instead, he stepped backwards, still supporting me. I gasped and wrapped my arms around his neck, holding tight. He laughed, carrying me awkwardly, carefully towards the bed.

"Wait, I'm still..." He bent over the bed, releasing me to the mattress below. "...Soaked."

"Oops." Most of the water had run off his scales on the way over. Apparently turians quick-dry. "Sorry."

My hair dripped as I sat up a little, elbows propped on the bed behind me. There was still water trickling down my breasts, pooling in my navel. I chuckled. "No problem. Grab me a towel?"

He walked back towards the bathroom. I admired the view. I'd never really looked at him from behind, at least not naked. His scales formed a crest pattern, rounded at the ridge, broad over the shoulders and tapering down to cover his spine, his ass, the backs of his legs. The long claw on his calf was a little blunted. I wondered briefly if he'd done that intentionally to avoid maiming me; I thought it was sharper the first time we were together. Combined with the sheen of his muscular sides, arms, legs... he was sculpture in motion.

He turned and caught me watching him, and gave me a shy smile. Nervous, yes, but never uncomfortable. I remembered him saying once. I wiggled my eyebrows with a little leer. He rolled his eyes and laughed on his way into the bathroom. I laid back, arms crossed behind my head, and realized that I was more at ease now than I was.... ever. Even alone. Something about being with him... my eyes closed, drinking in the feeling.

The towel brought me back, soft fabric covering my face with a gentle whoosh. I opened my eyes and sat up, pulling the towel off my head and giggling. "Jerk," I grinned as I sat up and properly dried my hair. I could see huge damp spots on the bed where I'd been lying. He stood back, watching me with a far-away smile, drinking me in just as I had him. And I didn't feel self-conscious.

I tossed the towel over the back of my desk chair and rotated, pulling my legs up onto the bed. I propped my fist under my chin in a slightly sassy pose, stretched on my side, looking up at him. His smile broadened. I hiked my head towards the other side of the bed, a silent request. He accepted. He never failed to impress me at how quickly and quietly he could move. Before I could roll over to face him again, he had swooped in behind me, pulling me close and shrouding me in his armor as I pressed back into him.

I knew the peace wouldn't last. That we'd be called on again, probably sooner than later. That we'd be running off to save some innocent or some colony or the whole damned galaxy again, in days, hours, minutes. But Garrus let me forget for a few precious moments.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Hmm?" He sounded drowsy.

I hugged one of his arms closer to my chest. He made a contented noise, then fell silent again.

As I drowsed, I laughed softly.

Mine.