Last memory of Bacelorhood

Yay for wierdness incurred from friends and sugar! Yep! This little story was started as a discussion between me and a friend late one night over certain details that might pertain to the Kingdom Hearts characters. But this is just a little thing I did which ended up being so whacked-out that we couldn't stop laughing when I read it to her. Umm, major OOCness with just about all of the characters, especially Sephiroth. Set in Hollow Bastian after all the events, (or just randomly thrown in so the event's don't matter, whichever you think.). There's hardly any language, but a little one-sided shounen ai, just be warned. Not as bad as my other two, mind you, but then again this was written around a year ago.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or places. Those belong to Square Enix and I think Disney too. Yeah
Last Memory of Bachelorhood--Part one--The Party
It all began with one innocent question: “Aerith, will you marry me?” I was almost too thrilled to speak when she flung her arms around me and cried out “yes!” Of course I couldn’t see when it all started going downhill. And there was hardly anything anyone could do to stop it.
Yeah, I see you all now. “Oh, no! Cloud didn’t get hurt, did he?” or “What happened to Aerith? She’s all right, right?” Well, let me put it this way to all you thinking things like that: Stop it! Nothing like that happened, so calm down. But I’ll just start from the beginning so you’ll understand better.
Like I said, I had proposed to Aerith and she had accepted. Now at this time, everything had been cleared up and the whole lot of us was staying in Hollow Bastian with Ansem. The whole lot being Aerith, Yuffie, Leon, Riku, Sora, Cid and me. Oh yeah. And Sephiroth. Oh, not that we were still at each others’ throats for our various reasons, but, well, you’ll see soon enough. Anyway, we were all staying there and everything was fine. At least it was.
I feel that before I go any farther and let a third person tell what happened Only because you can’t remember it all! Hey! You mind not interrupting? Sorry That’s better. Like I was saying, I should warn everyone reading this that there are several personal details that will be revealed about the others and some people may wish to stop reading now. However, if you wish to stay, you’re welcome to. Now I’m going to turn this over and go hide so I can never hear it.
……
.Ahem. ‘Bout time, Cloud. Geez, when you said an introduction I didn’t expect an hour. Not listening, huh? Well, not that I blame you. Don’t even understand why you want the story told, but oh well. As my spiky-haired friend was saying, they were all staying with Ansem, Cloud proposed, Aerith accepted, blah, blah, blah…But here’s the kicker. Who was going to be best man? There was Ansem, but the two hardly knew each other. Same for Leon, and Riku and Sora were both too young. Cid would have worked, but Cloud wasn’t too keen on the idea. So that left some people Cloud knew outside of Hollow Bastian and Sephiroth. Now, actually, Cloud and Sephiroth had become somewhat good friends once they were forced to. So, naturally Sephiroth was asked.
Only too glad to help out his friend, Sephiroth agreed. Of course, never having been anywhere near a wedding, Sephiroth was essentially clueless about what to do. He had to resort to asking Riku (Riku!), but that only helped a little. He finally got most of the kinks worked out with help and settled down to rest a while when Riku shook his head.
“You’re forgetting something.”
Sephiroth managed to open one eye. “I did?” He didn’t seem too convinced.
Riku smacked his forehead. “Duh! The bachelor party? Hello!” He flung his arms in the air and sighed.
The older man spat out the water he’d been trying to drink. “Oh, crap. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Okay. Okay, I can do this.” He grabbed Riku’s sleeve and drug him close. “It’s gotta be tonight. Tomorrow’s the wedding!”
Riku shook Sephiroth’s hand off of him. “Calm down. I thought this might happen, so you’re covered. I got together with the rest of the guys and worked it out, okay? Cid’s going to get the drinks now, Ansem’s setting things up, Leon’s called some people in Traverse Town and—ah—hey! Get off, you’re choking me!”
Sephiroth had grabbed the boy and hugged his so tight that Riku had lost his breath. “Man, you are a life-saver.”
“Great,” Riku croaked out, “But let go before I need a lifesaver!”
“Oh, sorry.”
“Well boys, that’s settled.” The two turned to see a blonde man walking towards them. “The beer’s all loaded and down in the room. Sorry I couldn’t get the great stuff, but you can deal.” He crossed his arms and puffed at a cigarette. “You got your ends done?”
Sephiroth began to answer but Riku pushed him back. “Uh, yeah. My part’s done and Seph only has to go get Cloud. You seen Ansem or Leon?”
Sephiroth, still in shock, tapped Riku’s shoulder and pointed. Behind them two other men came walking through the door, laughing. The brown-haired man waved at Cid, yelling, “You got the crappy stuff!”
“’Scuse me Leon, but you wanna try to do any better than that on a limited budget?”
“Nah. But mine’s covered. I got the girl, but she’ll be around 300.”
Ansem snorted into his beer. “300? You’re kidding.” He shook his head. “Better be good.”
Riku clapped his hands together once, startling Sephiroth out of his daze. “Okay. We’ll all head down while Seph gets Cloud, got it?” He smiled as everyone nodded. “So, let’s go!”
He started to follow the rest, but was almost yanked off his feet as Sephiroth snatched the back of his collar. “So, uh, where’s this room?” An embarrassed smile was on his face.
Sighing, Riku pointed toward the door. The meeting room beside the kitchen, okay?”
“All right! Uh, but first I want to see if I can actually find it.”
The boy took a deep breath. “Fine, come on.”
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Ten minutes later, Sephiroth appeared out of his room and wound his way through the castle to Cloud’s quarters. He wiped the back of his hand across his face, but the rosy tint stayed on his cheeks. Finally after his third knock, Cloud opened the door.
Cloud yawned and was trying to figure out who was bothering him when Sephiroth smacked him on the back. “Hey, buddy! Uh, man, you look like crap.” He started laughing.
“Sephiroth?” Cloud rubbed his eyes, running a hand through his hair. “What’s up?”
Sephiroth waved a hand meaninglessly. “Nothing. Just come with me. I wanna show you something.” He grinned.
“All right, fine. Where we going?” He yawned again, not too happy to be losing his nap.
“Nope, you gotta wait ‘til we’re there!”
“Fine. Can we go now?”
Finally, after Sephiroth led them down the wrong hallways four times they made it to the room Riku had shown him. The rosy cast on Sephiroth’s face had grown slightly and Cloud finally noticed a crushed can sticking out of the other man’s pocket. Deciding not to ask, he focused on the door Sephiroth was having a hard time opening. “This had better be good,” he muttered under his breath.
He had hardly pushed Sephiroth out of his way and opened the door when the white-haired man yelled out “Happy Birthday!” Nearly everyone stared at him until he grinned. “Whoops. Guess I messed up.”
Cloud had already put Sephiroth far behind him. “So, what’s going on here?” He stared at Ansem as the other man pushed a can into his hands and patted his shouled.
“Now you don’t think we forgot you party, did you” The rest grinned at him.
“Do…what?” He shook his head and glanced around the room. “Okay, let me get this straight. You threw me a party and got my best man drunk?” He pulled Sephiroth through the door where he stood waving. “Already?”
Cid stepped forward in Sephiroth’s face. “Hmmm…yep, he’s smashed.” He stepped away from Sephiroth’s half-hearted shove.
“What!” Ansem hurried forward, an anxious look on his face. “He doesn’t drink! He’s never had any in his life! He told me!” He shook Sephiroth’s shoulder.
Cid whistled briefly. “Then this could be bad. First-timers are too easy to get drunk and he’s already had five.” He dodged Ansem’s death stare. “Well, he seemed to be holding them pretty well and how was I supposed to know?” he yelled in his defense.
Cloud groaned. “So what can we expect?”
“Uh, basically? Seph acting like a complete idiot.” Leon nodded toward the smiling man.
Sephiroth piped up, holding another can. “That’s me!” He grinned widely and Riku thought to himself ‘oh god, he’s been watching Sora smile’.
Cloud slumped into a chair by the wall. “Here we go, let the terror begin. Huh?” He turned to see Sephiroth right beside him.
The rosy-cheeked man wrapped an arm around Cloud’s neck and squeezed him closer before anyone could say anything. “Cloooouuuud. We’re best buds, right? Come on, say it Cloud! Doncha love me?” He ruffled Cloud’s blonde hair and let him go, falling to the floor instead.
Cloud stared at Cid. “Just tell me when he’ll pass out.”
“Well, it depends on a lot of stuff. Age, weight—“
“Shut up,” Cloud grumbled, running a hand over his face.
Riku suddenly walked up carrying an armload of CDs. “Would it help that I found some music?” He smiled, acting peacemaker.
A white-haired head popped up beside Cloud. “Ooh! Music! I wanna dance!” He bounced on the floor, clapping his hands.
“Cid!”
“What!” Cid turned toward Ansem. “What’d I do?” He pushed the can he was holding toward Sephiroth.
Cloud grabbed the beer before Sephiroth. “Do you really think he needs more?”
“Well,” Cid shrugged. “The more he gets, the sooner he passes out.”
Cloud glanced between Cid, the beer, and Sephiroth. “Here,” he said, shoving the can into Sephiroth’s face. “Drink. Now.”
“Ooh, yay!”
Riku laughed at the older man. “Never seen him so happy. So how about sharing the love?” He grinned and held out a hand.
“Uh, no.” Ansem smacked the boy’s head. “Don’t think so. It’s bad enough with one drunk on our hands.”
“Uh, Ansem?” Leon groaned, pointed toward Cid. “Guess again.”
Cid hiccupped and tossed an empty can behind him. Cloud stared at him. “I thought you were fine! You seemed close to sober to me!”
“Well, I, uh, I can fake it pretty good –hic- doncha think so?” He smiled and held up his hands. “Besides. I’ve only had around, uh, ten?”
“Wait a minute! The Cid I know would need about 100 to get drunk! You’re not even close!” Ansem grabbed Cid’s arm and glared at him.
Cid grinned. “So true. Just wanted to see what you’d all do.”
“Jerk,” mumbled Ansem. “We need to keep Seph from doing anything stupid.”
Riku had just returned from popping a CD in the player. “Yeah, we don’t need to have YOU acting stupid too.”
“That’s for sure,” grumbled Cloud. “I mean Seph’s bad enou—gah! What the hell?” He reached up and pulled something soft off of his head. “Uh…who was wearing blue?”
He held up the shirt slowly.
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Bwahh! No cliffhangers! Nooo! laughs But I'm pretty sure it's obvious what happened. Anyway, on to part 2!
Reviews always welcome! I know it's not as good as my other two, but what do you expect from an older work? laughs