The Easy Answer and the Right Answer

What she ought to do, really, was marry Guy.

It wasn’t that Princess Natalia Luzu Kimlasca-Lanvaldear was not paying attention to what was going on at the diplomatic council she was attending. Far from it. Her mind was acutely aware of each and every word her father said while addressing the gathering of high-ranking officials from the New Order of Lorelei and Kimlasca, just as it had been for the speech that the order’s visiting dignitary, Fon Master Anise Tatlin, highest member, founder, and visionary of the new religion, had made before King Ingobert, and just as it would be for whoever’s turn it was to address those assembled next. Not only that, but Natalia was fully following what two of the priests a few seats away believed to be a private conversation by reading their lips. If she had needed to, she could have split her attention further to follow two other conversations, as well, without any real detriment to her ability to understand their meaning, analyze them, and make future plans accordingly. Though not born to the position of royalty, Natalia was unquestionably born for it, and being a master of diplomacy and politics at only twenty-three years of age was one aspect of this natural aptitude.

And really, even if she hadn’t been paying full attention to the meeting, it wouldn’t have mattered very much. This tri-annual parley between her kingdom and the new major religious military power of the world didn’t have very much it needed to accomplish. Times were, simply put, good. Kimlasca had been on excellent terms with the Malkuth Empire ever since the incident five years ago that had ended with Vandesdelca Grants’s death. In addition, thanks both to Anise’s keen mind for raising funds and Natalia’s willingness to support Anise’s cause, the government of Kimlasca was the New Order’s biggest financial supporter, so there weren’t likely to be many problems raised and conflicts created in this meeting by anyone in the New Order.

So, Natalia was comfortable to let a small corner of her mind wander from the council back to the dilemma that had been bothering her: marriage, family, and succession.

Actually, that wasn’t exactly right. It wasn’t a dilemma, or even a problem. Not yet. None of the various nobles in power in Kimlasca had begun to make even the slightest of whispers about the subject, and the general populace seemed to have as little interest in it. She was still quite young, and her father was still ruling in good health, so there was really no rush at all in the kingdom’s mind to marry their beloved princess off and secure an heir to the throne through the joining. The people of the world still had many more pressing concerns born of the aftermath of Van Grants’s actions even now, so the fact that the arranged marriage between Natalia and Luke had been mutually annulled by both involved had gone almost unnoticed by the kingdom’s inhabitants.

The pressure Natalia felt to settle this matter was entirely self-created. But feel it she did, because even if no one expected it of her right now, they were eventually going to, and Natalia would much rather have come up with a solution by then, rather than be pushed into a decision by limited time and circumstances. It would be much better if, by the time they were showing concern about the future of throne, she was already involved with, or perhaps even secretly engaged to, a suitable candidate. Thus, Natalia gave herself a sense of urgency over the matter, for she could much better negotiate such a need for haste with herself than she could with a kingdom’s worth of nobility.

Natalia’s father had finished his speech, and now it was the Fon Master’s turn. Regardless of her high, holy position now, Anise Taitlin was as fiery, demanding, and crafty as ever, and even as she spoke and made her intentions and wishes seemingly embarrassingly obvious, she always had a concealed motive that she was shooting for. This made it entertaining for Natalia both to listen to Anise’s addresses, and to see if she could figure out that one hidden element to them that Anise was secretly driving at before someone at the meeting uncovered by accidentally falling into her verbal trap and agreeing to it. So, for now, she put her thoughts of succession and marriage to rest, to be resumed later.

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Yes, she truly ought to marry Guy.

Her arrows’ aim would suffer for her mental concentration being devoted elsewhere, but Natalia devoted more time to combat training each day than she needed to, anyway. All three of the Kimlasca-based companions from the world-changing incident did. By mutual agreement, Natalia devoted an hour or two at noontime each day to practicing battle skills and keeping limber and in shape with her friends, Luke and Tear fon Fabre. Of course, even though it was an invigorating and overly enjoyable way to spend time daily with them, Natalia often found herself as she was now, practicing her marksmanship alone as the young new duke and his wife sparred alone several feet away. But that was fine, because such occasions gave her more time to consider this problem.

Politically-speaking, Guy was a perfect candidate, from all angles. First and foremost, he had good experience with the nobility and ruling class of Kimlasca, having spent so much of his life as a servant of Duke fon Fabre. At the same time, though, he’d always been detached by the distinctions both of class and of true nationality, so he would, if put into position of king for the country, have a better chance of maintaining a healthy distance and thus be a more fair and objective ruler.

He was also, of course, a prominent noble of the Malkuth Empire, so marrying him would be an excellent way to better bind the two major countries of the world together. It was not that they were having any significant difficulties, or even that any seemed likely to arise in the future, but Natalia did like to plan far in advance against any potential problems. Continued good relations between Kimlasca and Malkuth would be an ongoing necessity in their rapidly changing world.

Yes, both in the public’s eye, and in her own, any such union between Natalia and Guy would be, if nothing else, a perfect political marriage.

As was often the case when the Fon Master was visiting, Anise had arrived at the training ground now, and wanted to replace Tear as Luke’s sparring partner for a time. Natalia ceased even her pretense of practice at this, and sat down to watch the match. These days, Anise was quickly becoming the best fighter of their small old group. Now that she was a young adult, she herself did battle, employing a set of unarmed martial arts with moderate skill, while still fully controlling her doll, Tokunaga, as a separate combatant. Her control over Tokunaga was no less effective in combat than it ever had been, so any foe she faced now would have to deal with two adversaries, one as strong as ever and the other always improving her skills. Natalia estimated that Luke would, at this rate, find himself out-classed in combat in no more than half a dozen further visits.

Regardless of who would emerge the winner, however, the matches were always entertaining to see, even to one who did not hold any special interest in combat, and so Natalia put her concerns aside for now to watch.

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She really should marry Guy.

The castle garden she walked through was gorgeous, as it always was at this time of year. Bright color studded a lush green background with every flowered sprout, bush, and tree Natalia passed. The hum and bustle of busy insects and small animals throughout the garden provided a background orchestra to the songbirds’ choir.

Natalia, however, was not paying very much attention the natural beauty around her as she walked the path. Just as the creatures around her concentrated on their roles in nature’s kingdom, she concentrated on her own one in this human kingdom.

She certainly should have no personal complaints about a life with Guy. Few people, she knew, were better men than he. He was kind, considerate, and courteous to all, yet a hostile and unforgiving opponent to those who threatened him or the people he cared for. He was fiercely loyal and had a strong will, but at the same time, he had an open mind and could be moved to reconsider his ideas and opinions. He was agreeable and humble; still, he was no yes-man, and would stand up for himself and his beliefs when challenged.

Natalia could, she thought as she stopped to admire some particularly vivid golden blossoms, go on, but there really wasn’t any need to. He was, suffice to say, an excellent example of balance, a mix of many character traits, all moderate and attractive, none leaning too far into an extreme to become a flaw instead of a virtue.

And of course, Natalia had a terrific personal history with the young man. A courtship by or of Guy would not be one between two people who had only recently met, as was the case of most of the princess’s other potential marital options. She and Guy had known one another for most of their lives. In addition, each had opened up and revealed themselves during their journey with the others in one another’s presence, and matured as people at the same time, giving each a deeper understanding of the other (along with the rest of their adventuring partners at the time) than many happily married couples ever would have.

Overall, Natalia was quite confident that a life as Guy’s wife would be a pleasant and happy one.

In addition, though it was naturally only a pleasant bonus rather than any significant reason, Guy was, to be sure, a strapping specimen of man, handsome and well-built. His roguishly unruly but well-kept blond hair, bright blue eyes like a clear spring sky, and a face with strong definition offset by its friendly, casual smile, all atop a physique balanced between strength and tone, and poise and masculine grace… all that, combined with a good sense of style in what he wore and a natural way of wearing his attire well, made him an irresistible catch to most women, and certainly Natalia could not pretend that she did not also find him quite attractive. Although such factors were not serious considerations for her, the fact that few men could compete in terms of physical beauty to Guy certainly did not hurt his chances as a marital candidate.

The princess looked up then, hearing the energetic steps she had been expecting. There were not many moments of Anise’s day in which she could do as she pleased, particularly not during her diplomatic visits; however, the young woman usually managed to set aside enough time not only to spar with Luke, but also to walk through the castle gardens with Natalia and, on some occasions, Tear as well. Spending time and catching up with each other in a serene and, more times of the year than not, beautiful environment was one of the highlights of their friendship, and always an enjoyable, though short, release from their concerns and duties.

Indeed, her marriage concerns were already rapidly fading from focus, her mind more than happy to concentrate on pleasant conversation with her friend.

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She should marry Guy.

Foolish hesitation in this matter could cost her what appeared in most ways to be an ideal match. Natlia was confident that she would be able to court him successfully, for their special bond was already so strong and nurtured that taking it to the next step would be almost effortless for either of them…provided no one made a claim to one’s heart beforehand. And while Guy was still, to Natalia’s knowledge, uninvolved with anyone in his home country, that surely could not be so forever. Women even now were fawning over and pursuing him--he would never mention any such thing himself, of course, but Natalia and Guy had plenty of mutual friends who had made mention of it to her. He kept all at an arm’s length (literally) thanks to his lingering discomfort at being close to women, but he was ever better coming to terms with his fear, so it would not hinder him for long. He would surely not just dive into a relationship immediately, of course, but still…Guy was an opportunity that would not wait forever.

Such were her thoughts as she sat in the splendid, private pew for the royal family in her castle's somewhat newly constructed church. As the new religious order that Anise now led had become more cemented in the general affairs of Malkuth and Kimlasca, it had been deemed necessary by its Fon Master that the castle itself should have an appropriate place of worship for the New Order of Lorelei. Anise's plans for it had been a little too extravagant for Natalia's tastes, but the people themselves had been in general agreement with her ideas on its construction, so she could not object. She had noticed, though, that much of the place of worship's decorative splendor seemed directed to the central pulpit, where the priest or priestess would be standing. Not entirely surprising, of course, given Anise's perhaps unhealthy interest in riches and splendor. That was one thing that had not changed about her with age, and probably never would, even when she easily had access to more wealth and resources now than even Natalia did.

A hush fell across those gathered in the church as Anise entered. As was tradition, the Fon Master would personally address the lawmakers, nobles, and rulers of Kimlasca on the first evening of her diplomatic excursion to the kingdom--a rare treat for most, for there were few assembled here who could afford the time to often visit Daath Cathedral to hear her personally what the New Order now called Score Sermons.

Anise had reached her place, and now began speaking. Natalia once again shunted her marital concerns away for a moment so that she could fully concentrate on the sermon. Anise was, in spite of her usually less than serious nature, a very intense and moving speaker. She had great charisma when she addressed others as a religious leader; even those who personally knew her, like Natalia, Luke, and Tear, agreed that Anise's spiritual lectures could weave a spell over them.

As Natalia listened, she could feel herself being lost in the sermon, as always. When one got right down to it, Anise had not really recreated the Order of Lorelei at all. The New Order of Lorelei used many of the ideas of the previous religion, the most obvious one being the idea of there being an unfailing, divine Score to be read that could guide anyone and everyone in their lives. Yet Anise had merely used this familiar concept of divine fate, which the world had already depended upon and was not ready to cast aside in place of an unknown future, and turned it around to empower the people to choose their own fate without their even realizing it (once again, Anise's certain talent for giving her audience exactly what they wanted while secretly moving them exactly where she wanted them). The New Order of Lorelei now held Lorelei to be the same divine, guiding being as ever, but that it was found within each person's mind and heart, and that it was there that a Score existed to be read and followed. It was now by looking within, rather than looking to another, that one the best way to live and the right decisions to make. Rather than blindly follow the words of mysticism and supposed destiny, they now lived by their own choices, encouraged to be true to themselves rather than mindlessly obedient to the order. Of course, many qualities and laws were touted as universal to the inner scores--tolerance, earnestness, and (of course) generous donation to the New Order, for example--but still, Anise had transformed the Order and its followers from being founded on unquestioned dependence to the foundations being self-reliance and the never-ending questioning of self-assessment. Quite a feat, but she'd had the drive, sharp mind, charisma, knowledge of the system, and friends with resources to make it happen. And Natalia genuinely believed the world was better for its change in beliefs.

Anise continued to preach the virtues of being honest with oneself, and Natalia listened on.

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There was every reason in the world to marry Guy. But Natalia never would.

She wouldn't because his touch could never make her feel this way. If it were his fingers traveling down the princess's soft flesh in the candle light, she would not thrill every time they halted their aimless trek to prod, to dance, to squeeze, to tickle. She would not let out a gasp, a tiny gasp of inversely intense passion, if it were his hands that sought her breasts and made sport of them. And if it were his carnal kiss between her thighs, she would not shiver from contentment alone, nor feel a pleasure born not only of the sensations the action awoke, but also of the mere knowledge of who had performed it and evoked them. And afterwards, as she lay in joyful repose, enraptured by the leftover bliss of orgasm, it would not be him that she sought to hold close to her, taking such comfort from the warmth of another's pressed affectionately against her own.

She wouldn't marry Guy because it was not his visits to her home that she looked forward to year-round. It was not him who she watched with focus undivided, not him who she talked to with her mind nowhere else, and not him who she listened to with a mind empty save for the speaker's words. He was not the one who could always take her mind away from her concerns and troubles, the distraction that gave her the strength to stay focused.

Regardless of how perfect he might be in both worldly and personal aspects, she wouldn't marry Guy, because he was not the one Natalia loved, sought love from, and made love to.

Her lover was kissing her now more aggressively than a moment ago, the small kisses to Natalia's cheeks and neck becoming less quiet comfort and more needy desire. Natalia's hand was held, and led down between her companion's legs, leaving very little question of what was desired of her.

“In a moment, Anise...let me catch my breath,” the princess murmured, her words piercing the silence that permeated her dimly lit room, a room isolated by its light and the sounds of the two womens' breathing from the rest of the dark, quiet world of midnight as though it were another world altogether.

Anise nodded, recognizing the momentary fatigue that comes with several loves made in succession, and let go of her hand, letting it lie softly on the sheets of a bed almost as bare as they were. As though she were as eager for Natalia's companionship as Natalia was for hers, though, Anise could not resist interacting with her in a different way in this momentary rest period.

“Has something been bothering you today, Natalia?” she asked.

“...Just the usual,” Natalia replied reluctantly.

Anise sighed and rolled her eyes. “Why are you still worrying about that? I told you, I'm working on it. Just be patient. I may be Fon Master, but even I need a little time to set the New Order up to accept something as crazy as letting girls marry girls and guys marry guys. No one's even thought of the idea before; everyone just had the Score help them find the person they should be with. But I'll get it worked into the doctrine soon enough, and then you can get Kimlasca to support it. I know I'm not an important noble from the empire most likely to ever be your country's enemy, but I'm still pretty sure that no one's going to have any real objections to the political advantages of you marrying yourself off to the Fon Master herself, right?”

Probably not. Still, that wasn't the only consideration. “Yes, but what about an heir? That's usually the biggest reason for a country wanting their prince or princess married.”

Anise shrugged, clearly not at all concerned with this obstacle. “So adopt. Do you have any idea how many orphans the New Order has had to look after since our journey? Kids lost their parents on all sides. They need homes and families,” Anise pointed out.

“I don't think that would go over so well with the nobility,” Natalia told her.

Anise gave a snort not very characteristic of a lady or a leader of an entire religious order. “I don't see how they can object, when their own princess is already one herself.”

She had a point, though Natalia doubted that convincing those opposed would be quite so simple. But it did seem feasible, if not easy. She sighed. “I suppose I've just been worried about the timing. No one's pressuring me about marriage yet, but they might start any time now. I could only realistically hold the demands of my subjects off for so long...what if you can't get the New Order to go along with you by then? What if I can't get Kimlasca to follow my urgings to accept unions like that? What happens if it just doesn't work out, and it takes so long to find out...”

“Natalia,” Anise half interrupted, half filled in the pause, “I love you. You love me. We want to get married. That's all there is to it. The details we'll work out, and yeah, some will be tougher than others, but that's life now. It's not a simple solution, but it's what we want, and that's what matters.”

Natalia was silent for a few moments. Then she leaned forward and kissed Anise softly. And then broke it off, in favor of several other kisses, delivered increasingly lower than the first. Anise grinned, even while letting out a tiny moan. “Got your resolve back, hmm?”

Natalia nodded, and moved her hand to where Anise had earlier desired it. She played Anise's pleasure as a musician did music, having an intimate knowledge of her instrument and song from many previous performances (a few even, shamefully enough, dating back to a few months before Anise was at the Kimlascan age of assent of nineteen!). She made the other woman's moans into her personal Score to follow, and took pride in her single audience member's enjoyment, more so than usual, for her mind was now far clearer of doubts and future fears than it had been for quite some time.

Anise was not as arrestingly attractive as Guy, nor did Natalia truly know her half as well. She was not the ideal political match, and despite her own experience with power and authority, she did not know what it was to rule a country as a head of government, nor the nuances of Kimlasca's court. The issue of an heir would surely be a hassle, with the easy solution being difficult to make accepted. And it might be that no timely solution could be reached with her. Yet, Anise had been correct. The important thing, in this new world of self determination, was not convenience, what would be easiest or work out the best. What felt right, what she knew she wanted, was to be with Anise. There were many obstacles to clear on that path...but she resolved to herself to stop looking longingly at the easier paths around her, and pave the road to what she wanted.