We'll Go Together

~At least the waves sound the same…~

A year has passed since Sora and I came back to the Islands. It sounds like a long time, doesn’t it? Yet I can still remember every little detail about that beach. That seemingly barren waste where Sora and I sat, teetering on the very edge of nothingness. I remember how the sand felt, cool and soft between my aching fingers. I remember how the clear water ebbed and flowed over my shoes in an almost hypnotizing rhythm, the gentle splash of the waves helping to soothe my battered body. And I remember the shine of the moon, hovering just over the horizon, giving our dark, dismal surroundings and almost ethereal glow. How something so very simple could be so incredibly beautiful is still a mystery to me.

And yet, despite that beauty and the understated splendor of our surroundings, the fondest memory I have of that place…is of Sora. Of the pure joy I felt just by sitting with him. Silent, and yet speaking volumes. I remember how happy, and even relieved, he looked and sounded when I said that we should’ve stayed on that beach. That we could be the darkness. I remember how he casually, almost absent-mindedly laced his fingers with mine, the fine sand crunching and grinding between our palms as he gazed at the moon. He looked so perfectly content.

Then that letter came.

I remember a single thought passing through my mind over and over again as that light-filled passage opened: ‘Why?’ Nothing more than the never-ending question of why this was happening now, when we were both finally happy, back together again. I tried my damnedest to look happy as he held his hand out to me, the same hand I was happily holding just a moment ago, while he said that we would go back together. I remember feeling…I guess betrayed is a good way to describe it. I had honestly thought that we would stay on that beach forever, just the two of us, no matter how foolish and reckless that idea had sounded in my head.

And I thought he’d been thinking the same thing, that he just wanted to stay there, a place where not even the Heartless nor the Nobodies seemed to tread. And yet there he was, asking me to return to the world I’d worked so hard to leave behind what seemed like an eternity ago. For a reason that I’m still not quite sure of, the very thought struck me as funny, and I came very close to actually laughing at the absurdity of it all. But then I looked up at Sora, and I saw that smile, the one that could move mountains if he really tried. I’ve never been able to say no to Sora’s smile, and I doubt that I’ll ever be able to. So, I agreed to go, letting him help me to my still-unsteady feet. I turned my head a fraction of an inch, wanting to catch a glimpse of his face before we stepped into that blinding light. As long as I live, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget the look on his face in that moment, when he didn’t think I was looking.

I had never seen Sora look so incredibly…lost. So forlorn. In that instant, I became certain that I wasn’t the only one who wanted to stay on the moonlit beach that night. But, even though neither of us wanted to leave, we both knew that we had no choice. We had to return to the light. And even though we knew we had to go back…I’m not sure that either of us knew why. Yet still, we stepped forward. Into a light so bright I was sure it would burn us alive. But at least we did it together, and I felt Sora’s fingers grasp for mine. I gave his hand a final squeeze, and then we were hurtling downward, speeding toward crystal waters I recognized instantly. We had really come back, we were home…

So why did I feel so empty?

I remember plunging into the sea, the water feeling unnaturally cold against my skin. We surfaced a moment later, looking around for a landmark of some sort. Then we heard her voice. The voice of the person I blamed for the loss of our potential paradise. I knew I was being childish, but I didn’t care. I remember Sora turned back to look at me after spotting Kairi on the beach. I remember his expression. He had a huge smile on his face, but his eyes still looked as sad as they had before we passed through the door. I decided that a fake smile was better than no smile, and quickly worked up my best imitation.

So we swam to the beach where Kairi was standing, waving. False happiness on our faces, we ran up to the beach. It was strange, being back on the Islands. Despite the fact that we had been gone for over a year, everything looked exactly the same. The houses, the trees, the docks, even the old play island where this entire ordeal had first begun didn’t look any different. And for a little while, Sora and I felt like we had back on that dark beach. Like we belonged, like we were whole. That was, at least, until we found out just how much a place could truly change in a year.

~*~*~*~*~

Our parents were gone. Our families had left. Kairi told us what had happened as we sat on the weather-beaten dock on the western side of the main island. Apparently, about two months after we had disappeared, our families began to lose hope that we would return. Then, when Kairi returned to the Islands alone, both Sora’s family and my own finally abandoned their last shreds of hope. They packed up their things and left Destiny Island behind. Kairi didn’t know where they had gone, and we couldn’t find a single person who did. For the rest of the day, Sora and I went from door to door, searching for any information about our families’ departure. No matter who we asked, nobody seemed to have an answer.

Sora was far more distraught by this news than I was. Everyone knew that Sora was very close with his mother, and they were inseparable when he was little. While we were sitting on our beach, she was really the only person he mentioned. He said he really missed her, that he really wanted to see her again. He said he had met a young woman in Traverse Town when he was first thrown from the Islands, and again when he went to Hollow Bastion the following year, named Aerith, and that she had reminded him greatly of his mother.

While he spoke, Sora had searched through his pockets, eventually producing a somewhat worn-looking photograph. It had a caption that read ‘Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee,’ and he was at the center, that big smile on his face. Then he had pointed out who Aerith was, and it was obvious why she reminded Sora so much of his mother. She could’ve been Anko’s younger sister, and judging by the way Sora had described her personality, and even her similar love for flowers, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had accidentally called Aerith ‘mom’ on at least one occasion.

I remember the first night we were back, after searching for any hint of our families to no avail, I was walking by Sora’s house on the way to my own. I could see him through his old bedroom window, chin propped on his knees. I didn’t need to be any closer to tell that he was crying. I hopped over the fence into the little yard it housed. I climbed up the rickety old weed-covered lattice on the side of the porch, like I had done so many times when we were kids. I hoisted myself onto the ledge above the porch, and climbed through my best friend’s window. He didn’t even blink as I hopped from the sill to the floor, accidentally tripping over his shoe in the process. Tears flowed silently down he cheeks, and I swear I could feel my heart breaking as I looked at him. I sat at the end of the bed, the old mattress creaking loudly under my weight.

I reached over and rested my hand on Sora’s bare foot. He looked at me, sniffled, and shuffled over to me, positioning himself sideways in my lap. He rested his head against my chest as I leaned back against the wall by his window and wrapped him in my arms. I remember he had one hand fisted tightly into my vest, with the other played with the long strands of hair flowing down my back. I almost smiled when I noticed that. It was a habit he’d had since we were little, and he was still the only person I’d let touch my hair. I hugged him tightly and rested my chin on the top of his head, gently stroking his back while he sobbed against me.

I remember the intense anger that welled up in my chest as I thought about why Sora was crying. This boy had been only fourteen years old when the fates of all the worlds in existence were thrust upon him. He had fought endlessly, tirelessly, even going so far as to sacrifice his own heart, his own existence, to save these worlds and all those who inhabited them.

No…that wasn’t it…

Sora had fought for us. For me and for Kairi. For the Islands. For the chance to come home again. Then, finally, he had done it. He had achieved his goal. We were all together again, we were back on the Islands. We were finally home.

And I never seen my best friend look so completely and utterly broken. I was angry. Angry at Sora’s parents, angry at Kairi, angry at Donald and Goofy, at the King, at Ansem, at Organization XIII, at people from other worlds that I’d never even met. But, more than anyone or anything else, I was angry at myself. I was the one who had brought the darkness to the Islands, I was the one who aided Maleficent, I was the one who allowed himself to be taken over by a power-hungry maniac and almost killed his most precious friend.

I’d tightened my grip on Sora then, and that had made him look up at me. His eyes were red and puffy, his nose was running and his cheeks were streaked with tears. But despite all this, I swear that those ocean-blue orbs were looking right through me. Sora had stopped crying.

“Riku,” he had said, “do not think, for even a second, about blaming yourself for this.” I swear, I need to learn how he does that. It’s like he can read minds.

“But, So-” He’d clapped a hand over my mouth. That hand was soon dropped to fiddle with the zipper on my shirt’s collar.

“Please, Riku,” he’d said, so quiet I could barely hear him, “I don’t want to think about this right now. What happened, happened. It’s over now, you’re you again. I don’t want to think about a past we can’t change. We’re back now, and we can pick right back up where we left off.” He’d looked up at me then, “Right?”

I’d wanted to tell him the truth. That it wouldn’t be that easy. That there were bonds and trust that needed to be rebuilt. I knew it wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but he needed to understand the reality of all that had happened. I looked down at him…and my resolve to tell the truth disappeared. His face was hopeful, his eyes wide and innocent looking. Something about that face made me think that…yeah…maybe it just might be that easy. I closed my eyes and smiled down at him.

We shared our first real kiss that night. It wasn’t just the kiss of two teenage boys messing around, or a kiss like in Truth or Dare. It wasn’t just some meaningless clash of lips. There were emotions behind that kiss that I still don’t think I can’t identify. I’m still not certain of who kissed whom, but I don’t think either of us particularly cares.

That night, our first together in almost two years, was spent in Sora’s creaky old twin-sized bed. We were nothing but a tangle of arms, legs and complicated clothing the next morning. And I can’t remember a morning where I've ever felt happier.