A Lesson in Trust

Carth Onasi sat in the pilot's chair of the Ebon Hawk, absent-mindedly playing with the navigational controls... although his mind was clearly elsewhere. He was distracted enough to ignore the sound of the cockpit door opening behind him.

Kiele, once known as dreaded Darth Revan, entered, moving smoothly to the Galaxy Map on the wall. "Everything okay, Carth?" The dark-haired woman didn't even bother to turn to him, still poking and prodding the map's touch screen.
"Why?" Carth looked at her out from the corner of his eye. "And what are you doing in here anyway?"

She turned and looked at him. "Oh, by the... are you still going on about the Revan thing? It seems like everyone else has accepted that I am no longer Revan... except for you, that is." The irritation was clear in her voice.
The man laughed, empty and hollow. "Well, considering that none of the others were as deliberately mislead as I was? Yeah, but it's hardly suprising, is it?"

Kiele glared at him. "Oh yes, Carth. Because I went around, knowing that I had been the Dark Lord the whole time, and I just hid it from you. For the sake of indulging you, let's pointedly forget that the Jedi removed all memory I had of it, making me think I was just some simple girl from Coruscant who's parents were killed in the Mandalorian Wars. Because being told I was personally responsible for the death of millions was just heartwarming really."

Carth smiled coldly, never removing his eyes from the navigational controls. "And that little flash of temper right there just goes to show you that you can take the girl out of the Dark Side, but..." He gave a gruff sigh, before sitting back in his chair and turning to look at Kiele. "All I know is that I fought at the side of that soldier girl from Coruscant. I escaped the Endar Spire with her, and watched her back over, across, and under what seemed like the whole damn surface of Taris, and beyond. And, I started to-" He paused, and his voice took on a harsher tone as he continued. "You aren't really that girl, Kiele. You never were... and you and I both know it, even if you won't admit it.

Kiele looked stricken, but with a deep breath, she assumed the passive, peaceful look of a Jedi grasping for their center. "I honestly have no clue what you're talking about, Carth. I'm Kiele. I used to be a little thieving scoundrel, and now I'm a Jedi. I follow the Code. I follow the light, and what I was, and what I used to be does not make me who I am now. I just... I wish you'd understand that."
She sighed, defeatedly. "I'll... I'll be in the port dormitory if you need me." She turned to leave the cockpit.

"Wait..." Carth sounded slightly apologetic.

She stopped in the door way, turning slowly. "What." Her voice lacked all emotion. She sounded... tired.

Carth turned the pilot's chair around, and looks slightly embarrassed. "Look... I know that Kiele is all that, and..." He looked down at the floor of the cockpit. "...and I had started to trust that girl. You have... no idea what that means, coming from me." Almost unconciously, Carth began to play with the flap covering his holster, a nervous habit he had picked up recently. He looked up at the woman, his expression tortured. "And now... now there's a big part of me that still wants to believe you're the same person, and wants to trust you, but another big part of me still needs proof that you really are the same girl. I... I'm sorry that I doubt you after everything that you... that we... have done together, but the doubt's still there. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is."

Kiele looked at him. Just looked, but the wounded dejection still showed. "To be honest, Carth? I don't know whether to do the Jedi thing and brush off what you said while taking it to heart, or to do the human thing and run off to cry... or do the Kiele thing and call you a spice-chewing nerf herder. I guess I'm not allowed to do any of those things, because when I do one, I'm betraying the other two."

She sighed. "Carth, one of the reasons I left the Jedi was because I was unhappy with the way they were training us. We were trained to ignore our instincts. I have to say that I agree with Jolee in most things, but I'm not foolish enough to let emotion get in the way of duty. What matters is your ability to put duty over emotion when it matters. I'm... not fighting for my life or the lives of the others right at this moment... so that's why I don't see any reason not to show emotion."

"So, you're telling me not to ignore my instincts, is that it?" Carth moved to stand next to Kiele, his hand holding the cockpit door shut to prevent her from storming off while he spoke. "You're saying that giving into my gut feeling is the way to go? To trust emotions and ride with them rather than think through things properly first? Well, forgive me, but isn't that the way you damned Force junkies take the first teps to the Dark Side? AGAIN? Well, ISN'T IT?!" His face had reddened with anger, the cockpit door shutting out the noise from the rest of the ship.

Kiele backed up against the wall next to the Galaxy Map. "Carth, don't twist my words. I was saying that I agree that we were given emotions for a reason, and that living life ignoring them just because a bunch of old men told us to is stupid. There is a time and place for everything, and sometimes you've got to express your feelings. You can't just bottle it all up inside because you'll eventually explode. It's a matter of dealing with things, not ignoring them and letting them get the best of you.' She took a deep breath. 'May I leave? You are obviously really angry right now, and you're scaring me a little." She instinctively rested her hand on the butt of her lightsaber, in the off chance Carth struck out at her.

Carth stared at her, his eyes burning into her as her words sink in. There was a long, uncomfortable pause, the only sound his ragged breathing. He took a step back and ran his hand through his tousled brown hair, then gave her a strange, quirky smile. "Okay, Kiele, Revan, or whoever you are. I'll listen to you. If keeping down your emotions is really as bad as you say it is..."

Without warning, Carth took a huge stride forward, grabbed Kiele by the shoulders, and pinned her back against the Galaxy Map as he kissed her hard on the mouth, his mouth parted slightly, breath hot against her lips. Kiele made a tiny muffled noise as his lips pressed roughly against hers, blinking, her body stiff from surprise.

Breaking the kiss, he pulled back, looking her in the eye, still close enough for his body to press against hers as she remained pushed against the map. He spoke quietly.
"Who are you in there... why do you make me feel like this, why do you make me want to trust you... when every fiber in my being is telling me not to..."

She stared at him as if he fell from the sky. "I'm... me, Carth. Kiele. I don't know who I was... I know who I am. I hear all the horrible things I did as Revan... and it makes me not want to get up in the morning. I'm only human, for the Force's sake. But... I do it. I do it anyways, because I know that I have to defeat Malak. You trust me, because deep in you, deep in your heart, you know that I am who I say I am. I'm just... me. You saved me on the Endar Spire and we haven't been apart since then. You trust me, because you're my friend and you care about me. That's why. And it's the same reason I trust you."

He moved his face even closer to hers, and looked into her eyes, searching for something, anything. He breathed the words so quietly that she barely heard him. "Is it true? Is it really you in there, Kiele? I hear your words, but I know all too well that however honest they sound, you Jedi and your mind tricks can make anything seem reasonable... your words could mean nothing.

"But I've seen the way you look at me. When you look in from the dormatory portal when you walk past... when you think I'm not looking. Yes, I want to believe your words, but I don't know if I can. Your tongue may lie... but your body can't. And I... I have to know the truth." As he spoke, his left hand, trembling, started to unbutton her tunic.

Kiele trembled. "Carth... what are you-"

Carth leaned forward, whispering in her ear. "I have to know... are you telling me the truth? Can I trust you? Can I... can I love you?" His hand slipped into her unbuttoned tunic and cupped her breast, as the other hand slid its way down the front of her pants. She could feel him against her leg, hard.

She whispered to him. "My passion was never of this kind... I mean... Carth, are you sure?" Her thin hands grasped at the bottom of his coat.
He kissed her ear, desperate, angry tears welling in his eyes. "Am I sure? No. Of course not. I know that I shouldn't care, but I do. And I need to know if I am living a lie." With his final word, his right hand darted to her waistband, tearing down her pants, as his left hand gripped her breast.

The woman yelped, her hands pressed against the walls of the corner she was literally backed into. "Will this help, Carth? How... how could it?" Her voice sounded as though she was ready to cry.

Carth couldn't look her in the face. "Can't you see? You... have to. If you... if you are who you say you are, then... I need to know you love me. And even if you say it... Kiele, I can't believe your words alone... I just... can't." He sunk to his knees, finally losing it. Carth wrapped his arms around her, pressing his face against her stomach, his beard making a whispery rustle against the front of her shipsuit.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." and he began to tenderly kiss her at the apex of her legs, praying that her body would respond, that she would respond, to prove that she was not a lie, that everything he had started to trust and feel and love was not just another notch in a long list of betrayals.

She trembled and let out a soft little noice. "That... feels nice."

In response, he reached up with his hands and started to knead her breasts, his tongue pushing at her sex through the fabric of the spacesuit.

"Mmph!" She jumped a bit at the sudden change in movement. She reached down, genuinely enjoying his ministrations, and stroked his hair, her voice soft. "Oh, Carth..."

Carth's heart fairly skipped at beat at the growing heat and moisture, the stiffness of her nipples under his hands. He stood, not being able to help the small smile growing on his lips. "Kiele..." He wrapped his strong arms around her, enveloping her in an embrace. Their lips met in a soft, gentle kiss. Kiele made a pleased little noise in her throat, holding him tightly.

The man lifted her in his arms, taking her to the pilot's chair, reaching down with a bit of difficulty to flick the reclining switch on the control panel. He lowered her gently onto it, slowly positioning himself over her. Kiele gave a small yelp and he looked down. "Oh, heh, sorry about that." He grinned sheepishly, reaching down to remove his gunbelt, hanging it over the main console. "Now, where were we..." He leaned over and began to kiss her again.

Kiele spread her legs, pulling Carth between them, rubbing his back through the jacket he always wore. Pausing for a moment, he leaned back, pulling off the ever-present flight jacket and dropped it to the floor. He opened his shirt, and leaned down to kiss her again, his bare chest rubbing against her nipples. Reaching down, he began to tug the flight suit down her legs. She reached down to aid him, sitting up to remove her tunic and tossing it on the floor, before kissing him again, grabbing at the waistband of his pants.

He slid them down and stepped out of them, revealing himself to be very, very hard. He started to kiss her fervently, finally pushing aside his fear and paranoia, letting his emotions take over. Kiele ran her hands over the smooth skin of his back, pressing him against her. He positioned himself, and slid into her, letting out a low groan of pleasure. Using the arms of the chair as leverage, he thrust in and out slowly, sensually, kissing her along her neck, her cheek, her mouth.

She moaned as he thrust, reveling in the feeling. It had been far too long. She wrapped her legs around his waist and leaned up to snake her tongue into his ear, alternating between licking, and nibbling, suckling, at his earlobe.

Carth stopped briefly, giving her a wry grin, before leaning over and flicking a switch on the life support console. The artificial gravity was suddenly terminated, and with a light push from his knee, their intertwined bodies floated off of the chair, twisting and turning in midair as Carth used her legs' vice-like grip as leverage to continue thrusting into her.

She reached up, pulling the band from her hair, releasing it to float about them as though they were in water. She thrust back against him, leaning up to whisper in his ear. "I love you, Carth. I do...", immediately assaulting said ear with tongue and teeth.

"I... believe you. I'm sorry that I doubted you." He leaned forward and chuckled into her ear as he renewed his thrusting. "Mmm... can you feel the Force now?" She laughed back, softly. "I think I prefer this one." She smiled against the skin of his neck, before whispering again. "Thank you... for trusting me."
He reached down, grasping her ass, squeezing the cheeks tightly as he varied his thrusting motions into a more gyrating, grinding motion, forcing his erect member against her inner walls and sensitive clitoris, at the same time sending their bodies into a spiralling motion, Kiele's hair swirling around them like gossamer in the wind.
"Thank you, Kiele... for showing me that I can trust again."

She moaned happily in response, sighing deliciously into his ear as she grinded back against him, growing ever closer to her peak, running her hands all over his fit body. His muscles becan to tense and clench as his efforts became more protracted. Sweat glistened off his body, floating like tiny crystals in the air. His breath came out in ragged gasps. "I... love you..."

She began to moan more and more, growing close. "I love you too... oh..." He reached forward and grasped her thin shoulders, crying out her name, twitching within her as her voice mingled with his, sending their bodies into a long, slow mid-air somersault in front of the cockpit viewing shield, their moment of mutual orgasm sihouetted against the starfield.

They clung to each other, reveling in the afterglow, their voices breathlessly whispering each other's names. At that moment, the intercom burst into life. "Amused and Irritated Query: Mistress, while nothing gives me greater pleasure than watching all these meatbags flailing helplessly in the zero-G environment currently pervading the ship's interior, perhaps you might give consideration to turning the artificial gravity on again before one of them irreperably ruptures one of my lubricant canisters?"

Kiele tries very hard not to laugh. "Sorry, HK, I haven't been able to reach the button. I'm almost there. Have everyone prepare for null-gee for a second." She braced herself and Carth over the pilot's chair before hitting the button. "There, with no harm done." The two of them fell bodily on the pilot's chair.

Carth burst into howls of laughter. "Flailing meatbags... oh I will never get that visual out of my head."
Kiele laughed with him. "I wonder how many times Mission 'accidentally' whacked Bastila with her lekku."

His laughed died down, and he reached up to brush a lock of glossy black hair from Kiele's face. "And I will never forget what you have done for me... or this moment... for as long as I live.

"We will find Malak, and you will defeat him. And... I'll stay by your side. Then... and always." He gave her a loving kiss upon the lips.

She smiled at him and reached over, turning the lights off in the cockpit. There, bathed in starlight, they reveled in the knowledge that nothing, even death, would part their hearts.