Stupid

Sora likes to think he's a good person. In the past three years he's mastered a weapon that could save or destroy all of the worlds ever created. He's saved them. He's killed himself without regret. He tries to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. He hates killing things, even people without hearts. He always studied hard in school. He was friends with everyone. He'd travel to the ends of his world and beyond to save those he cares about. He doesn't lie. On the rare chance he tries, everyone can tell anyway. So, that doesn't count. In fact, not much else matters now that Sora is back on the island.

The waves crashing on the shore sometimes make Sora wonder if it was all some dream. As if the three years were spent right here, on the island. Nothing has changed, yet everything has. Somewhere along the years Sora lost a part of himself and got it back. Somewhere along the line Kairi started dating. Somewhere along the line Riku started hanging out with kids in his grade instead of Sora. Somewhere along the line Wakka started dating Selphie. Somewhere along the line...Tidus grew up.

Sora can remember school before he left. Tidus was that annoying kid in the grade below him that insisted he was cool enough to hang out with the older kids. Sora never minded. Tidus was always fun to spar with and he lived only a couple houses away. Tidus isn't that kid anymore. Tidus is the fifteen year old teenager who has grown considerably. He's just as tall as Sora now. He's tanned. His hair seems a little lighter, the blonde strands brighter after three years in the sun of the islands.

Eyes closing, Sora fondly thinks back at the times of wooden swords and those innocent blue eyes shining at him. Sora often wonders if that boy even wonders if anything's up. Sora knows he's changed, if only a little. Sora isn't that same boy. Just like Tidus, desperately chasing the boy older than him. Sora's given up chasing Riku. He saved Riku. Riku saved him. They are even. There's nothing left to chase. Riku's back and never leaving. Sora's content back home. Maybe some things have changed.

"Hey, Sora!"

Sora takes a deep breath, smiling and for once in three years it feels completely natural. There's no shock before the smile settles itself on his lips. There's no tears. There's no magical reunion. There's just a smile. He's never felt more thankful.

The brunette barely has time to register what is about to happen when the younger blonde haired boy tackles him, the hit enough to knock the air out of Sora. Tidus laughs and Sora can't help but smile and gasp for breath that he isn't sure he wants to take. Would dying right now be so bad? Maybe not. Not when Tidus is laying atop him. His weight light and comfortable and they just seem to...fit.

"Gee, are you trying to kill me, Tidus?" Sora jokes, forcing out a laugh that steadily comes more easy when the younger moves off him and lets him roll over. Sora can feel the sand falling off his back and out of his hair.

The blonde haired boy laughs, reaching over to dust Sora off. Tidus is smiling and Sora fells like melting. He wants to touch him. Not in the way Sora wants to touch Riku. Riku is his best friend. Riku is the guy that is everything Sora thought he wanted to be. Not in the way Sora wants to touch Kairi. Kairi is the girl Sora used to play house with. Kairi's the one that everyone in school wants. Kairi was the unknown. Something that once Sora got to know he loved, but not something he wanted to spend his life with.

This was different. Then, before Sora could stop himself his eyes had slid closed and he was leaning close to the other boy. His lips brushed lightly over Tidus's. Everything felt perfect. Perfect until a fist had roughly come into contact with his jaw.

Sora fell back, blue eyes wide. Suddenly Sora thought he should run. Tidus looked part terrified and part happy and a big part was still looking very angry.

For the first time in a month, Tidus looked at Sora and actually saw him. Saw those blue eyes turned down and lined with tears and face expressing pure shock. Tidus could see the flushed skin where he had punched Sora. It was then that Tidus noticed that Sora looked just as scared as he felt. Sora looked like he honestly didn't know that this past month, ever since the first moment Sora returned. He didn't

Suddenly Sora broke. Tidus never would have thought that Sora would be the first to move. Yet it made sense. Sora was older. One step ahead.

"I'm sorry, Tidus... I better go. Homework! Bye!"

Tidus opened his mouth but Sora was already gone. There was nothing left to say. Nothing left to do. Sora was gone and Tidus was left alone.

Sora didn't get far. His house was only a few blocks from the beach. He rushed in, not trusting himself to give a 'hi, mom!'. He crashed on his bed and screamed into his pillow. That was not supposed to happen. This was not happening. It was a bad dream. He'd go to the beach tomorrow and Tidus would tackle him and they'd joke about school then Riku and Wakka would show up. Everything would be back to normal...it had to be.

Sometimes during his thoughts of his average and fake world, Sora's mother's voice broke through.

"Come downstairs. Your friend is here!"

Sora didn't really think much of it. He had lots of friends. Though, he wasn't expecting to see Tidus standing in his living room. He froze, blue locked on blue at the room seemed so silent that you could hear a pin drop.

"Hey, Sora..." Tidus offered. Though, when Sora didn't respond, Tidus stared at him. Tidus can see it.

It's there in Sora's eyes. Tidus could break his heart. Sora knew this. Tidus knew this. They were both scared.

"Say something, Sora..."

Sora shook his head, and when Tidus looked close enough he could tell that the older boy was shaking. Suddenly, Tidus knew he had to be brave. Whatever Sora had been doing didn't matter. Whatever Sora was going to do didn't matter. In a month Sora would be leaving again. Taking Kairi and Riku and leaving him. Tidus didn't want to waste what time he had left.

So, stepping forward, the blonde haired boy lifted his hands to Sora's cheeks, smiling. Sora looked like he still might cry but something had changed. Suddenly he didn't look so sad. And this time, when Sora leaned in, Tidus didn't punch him. Tidus didn't pull away. He just let himself kiss the slightly taller brunette, getting lost in the action. This time Tidus took a baby step closer. This time Sora's arms found their way. There was suddenly a warmth spreading and there was only one thing that could that could rip the apart.

The need to breath. This time Tidus moved back, slowly.

It was stupid. It was smart. It was wrong. It was right. It was terrible. It was awesome. It was so screwed up that it was perfect.

Maybe that was okay. It was okay for now. That was really all that mattered.