Hell Spawned

The story is based very loosely on the characters and events from BG 2, and perhaps a few characters from BG 1. The story also makes references to role-playing material from the second and third edition, as well as several Net Books, none of which I own or claim to own. Some characters will be my own; the rest belongs to Black Isle or the respective author/publisher.


Hell Spawned

Introduction:
The House of a Thousand
Gaping Pussies


“Step up pussy lovers; we’ve got offers for pussy lovers everywhere. If we don’t have it, you don’t want it. Now follow your nose, smell that pussy and step this way.


Pussy, Pussy, Pussy! All summoned pussy must go. At the house of a Thousand Gaping Pussies we’re slashing pussy in half, come and get a taste of the pussy on offer, pussy lovers.


This is a pussy blow out! Make us an offer on our vast selection of pussy, and if we think its fair we’ll throw in a second pussy free of charge. You won’t find pussy cheaper anywhere else, pussy lovers.


We got nymph pussy, dryad pussy, mermaid pussy, succubus pussy, erinyes pussy, elf pussy, drow pussy, triton pussy, halfling pussy, troll pussy, vampire pussy, ogre pussy, dwarf pussy, and rakshasa pussy.


We’ve got aranea pussy, centaur pussy, angel pussy, demon pussy, devil pussy, werewolf pussy, and dragon pussy. We’ve got titan pussy, giant pussy, nymph pussy, and octopussy.


We’ve got mythical pussy, legendary pussy, divine pussy and magical pussy, sucking pussy, drifting pussy, flying pussy, crawling pussy, floating pussy, and invisible pussy, tight pussy, burning pussy, freezing pussy, angry pussy, happy pussy, mournful pussy, scary pussy, dead pussy and weeping pussy.


We’ve got dripping pussy, grasping pussy, we’ve got snapping pussy, slimy pussy, biting pussy, hairy pussy, shaven pussy, dirty pussy, squeaky clean pussy, virgin pussy, used pussy, fragrant pussy and SMELLY pussy.


We’ve got pussy of all shapes, colours and sizes, pussy of all races, creeds and breeds, pussy to fit all tastes, lengths and widths, pussy for all kinks, perversions and prices, come and get a taste of our glorious pussy, pussy lovers, who can resist such generous offers of pussy.


We’ve got whips and chains, love, hate and pain, we’ve got toys and ticklers, we’ve got canes, ripplers, ropes and cripplers, we’ve got lashers, bashers and smashers, and the ever popular Mordenkainen’s dancing dildos, we’ve got strap ons and straps, we’ve got potions and rings and all manner of pussy loving wondrous things.


What’s your kink pussy lovers; if we don’t have the pussy you want, we can summon it, or raise it, catch it or make it. Step up pussy lovers; grab some half price pussy while sales last. Come on, pussy lovers, all pussy must go.


For those looking for tight budget pussy, we’ve got bargain dungeon basement pussy, and scraping the bottom of the barrel pussy, if you can find pussy for less than a copper piece, FUCK IT.


Randi ‘Blowhard’ Squirmtongue, mystical pimp extraordinaire at your service, roll up ladies and gentlemen, come and taste the divine delights of The House of a Thousand Gaping Pussies, you know you want to, you won’t be sorry, pussy lovers.


You there, yes you with the stumps, avariel pussy, now there’s something we don’t get a lot of, are you looking for work or perhaps you’re looking for something a little more …, like her.” The rotund, hairy footed halfling shouted, pointing at Laurella, that’s me by the way, the look of glee on his face as he danced from foot to foot like a demented … halfling.


Aerie stopped, as did the others, I looked him over, up and down, and decided if he wasn’t careful I’d show him a thing or two I’d learnt during my travels. I suppose I was at heart a vicious and blood thirsty assassin, but I was also a member of the mages of the mystical blue arts, a seducer of all kinds, all races, breeds, creeds and colours, oh god, I think we need to work on some new material, I was starting to think like the halfling.


“Come now Avariel, you can’t fool a mystical pimp, if you don’t know your own kink, I’ll tell you. It’s Blue Magic I tell you, we can know what you want before even you do, and you young lady, want a good dose of her pussy.” The mischievous halfling giggled as he licked his licks.


Aerie feigned disgust and embarrassment, while secretly the thought of bedding her saviour was a little more than she could bear, she needed her before too long, but perhaps this place could provide a little entertainment until such time as she could prepare her fluttering eyelashes, her ever so pouting lips and her incredibly naïve and charming banter. The moistness between her legs was a dead give away, at least to her.


“Oh, oh my, oh the hells be damned, and to the hells with this, what are you child. I can’t tell what it is you want; all I can see is murder, death and destruction, blood and betrayal, whips and chains … Oh my, what have you been doing young lady?”


“What’s wrong, halfling; don’t you like what you see?” I asked, the smirk on my face as the halfling searched my mind. What can I say, I had a troubled childhood, it came with the territory, you know, being a Bhallspawn wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.


“I see death and destruction for all who follow you, now if you’ll excuse me; I have pussy to attend to, and customers to hmm … evaluate.”


I walked over, my long flowing black leather gown wafting in the wind; my beautiful and long blonde hair blowing behind me as I moved almost feylike towards the mouthy little halfling, my every movement watched by my hopeful companions, a little seduction magic worked wonders, even on my fellow adoring companions, it was wonderful to be loved.


I patted the little fellow on the head and turned to my companions, he seemed to look up hopefully, ‘not in a million years, half pint I thought, but you can dream all you like.’


The delicious and ever delightful, backstabbing and murdering drow, Viconia, such a charming woman, if only I had the time to really get to know the drow. But I guess violent and bloody, vicious and cruel sex would have to suffice for now, the drow weren’t known for their subtlety or their loving and caring nature.


Aerie the wonderfully naïve and charming Avariel, who I had just discovered was quite the dark horse and wanted a little more of me than I could have imagined, maybe later, I hope I didn’t have to choose between my delicious companions.


Or was I expected to fall for the overbearing, loud mouthed and obnoxious priest, Anomen, he was attractive, sure enough, but I needed to see he had the right equipment if he was going to tackle my peaks, there was no point hammering little bitty nails into my crack.


There was of course Jaheira, the half elven ice queen who was in need of a good … well who knows what she needed, it was like talking to a pious priest most of the time, I think she needed to get back to her glade and have some downtime with the satyrs and nymphs, they’d sort her out soon enough.


And lastly the young woman, Nalia, after freeing her home from trolls, Lady Nalia decided she’d quite like to slum it with the commoners for awhile, I’d have been interested to find out just what was her kink, and the rest of them for that matter, but one thing was troubling me.


Why is it that there was no House of a Thousand Erect Manhoods, or some other equally ridiculous name, it seemed sexism was alive and well in the streets of Athkala, a bit like the lack of romance around here lately. I bet there would have been a little more to choose from if I’d been a man, I suppose I’d have to make do with what I could get, but it didn’t do much for a girl’s confidence.


I was of course always carrying my trusty and quite miraculous Cube of Instantaneous Whorehouse Creation, so my needs and desires were well satisfied in emergencies, although the succubus and incubus hostesses were a little demanding, I guess it’s a demon thing, but they liked it kind of rough and expected me to play along, I’m still a little bruised from my last little trip into neverland.


“Can we go in, Laurella?” Aerie asked, her curious and seemingly innocent smile perhaps belying the fact she was the eldest member of our little group and was maybe not quite as innocent as she liked us to believe.


“I need an ale, if it’s alright with our illustrious leader, how about it sweet cheeks?” Anomen said, looking across at me, his drunken stupor not yet quite recovered from his all too often drinking binges. His bulging pants putting paid to the theory that his nail wouldn’t be able to satisfy, now if only I could catch him on one of his sober moments.


“It could be interesting, Laurella, and you do know how I like to snoop around and if I can help the poor unfortunate souls of this downtrodden city.” Nalia stated, looking hopeful, I suppose in the absence of anything else, they were all perhaps willing to compromise and settle for … well, this. But Nalia, she seriously needed to get over all this help the unfortunate and needy, especially if she wanted to keep travelling with an altogether nasty and evil bitch like me.


“It’s an abomination, an affront to humanity and nature, it’s a vile and depraved …” Jaheira cut in, in her ever so usual disapproving tone, or was it disappointment, I really was going to have to find out what she liked, I mean, she hadn’t had any since poor … hmm, what’s his name died, I can never remember with so many party members coming and going. They really should provide a cast list; it would make this tale so much easier.


“Oh shut up, Jaheira, you can wait outside if you like, maybe take Anomen for a drink somewhere.” I replied, annoyed that the woman was repeating her usual tirade of tiresome complaints, we were here to have fun, gods damn it, and that was exactly what we were going to do, and failing that just get right royally laid. I wondered if they could slip in the odd incubus among all this pussy, a girl could only hope.


“You have to pay for sex?” Viconia questioned, the look in the eyes of the seemingly confused drow was one that said she really didn’t understand the concept of buying flesh when you could simply take it.


“You don’t approve, Viconia?” Aerie asked, not quite understanding Viconia’s query.


“Why would you pay for … this? Surely you could simply take what you wish, the drow do not seem to have such problems acquiring the objects of our desires, we simply take everything that we desire.”


“And what is it you desire, my beautiful drow customer?” The halfling smiled, a wicked and dirty grin, as he looked at us in turn, one after the other.


“What is it you think you see, halfling? Be careful how you answer, unless you wish to be a little shorter.” Viconia replied, sizing the halfling up for what could be his last round of ridiculous chatter.


“I see you, and them, all of them, and more besides. That’s an amazing lustful passion you have there, drow, how about halflings, do you …”


“I torture them, kill them and then feed them to my pet troll; does that answer your question, repulsive one?”


“I guess so, but maybe one of your …”


It was no surprise when the annoying little fellow was felled by a lightning fast and powerful blow from Jaheira, she wouldn’t have liked any inference that she could possibly be interested in anything other than keeping us from straying from the path, not certain which path, I didn’t know how much further I could stray without going straight to Hell, or probably the Abyss in my case, or Limbo if I was lucky, but what the hells, I was going to enjoy being the god of murder one day.