One Method to Anger Jack

One Method to Anger Jack

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(Jack POV)

Finally, nighttime!

We save the world, we're all heroes, and the Princess--whoops, I mean, Cecilia, finally decided to just leave her kingdom behind to travel with me, Hanpan, and Rudy. I mean, hey, being heroes is fun. Getting to travel all around this weirdly unsettling (to me anyway) green Filgaia intrigues the adventurer in me, and hey, maybe I might come right on back to Elmina and her cute waitress outfit, and woo her like I did in her previous life.

Though, one thing I always ignored, and to this day I can't stand still, is Cecilia's crush on our little Rudy. Let's compare the two: he's fifteen, she's seventeen; he's shorter than her by about a few centimeters; blue hair to blond; both are justice-bound and willing to stop evil at every turn; Rudy sees her as a great companion and a very trustworthy friend, while Cecilia practically eye-humps the unaware kid when he isn't looking.

Sure, when the two see eye-to-eye, they can converse happily, acting all carefree and platonic, but while the good shaman's lips converse and smile kindly and keep fluid track of whatever they're talking about, her eyes are mentally stripping him of his clothes, piece by piece, strand by strand, wanting desperately to see that young, built body of his, and maybe even checking out his--you know what? Why am I even describing Cecilia's sick deviations for her? Rudy's the kindest person in the world, and Cecilia's a big fucking pervert. Well... she's got her ideals and heart in the right place, but... she's still a pervert. She might not show it so often, but I know; I'm fucking Jack Van Burace, on his way to turning thirty, and I've never been wrong on these signs before.

We checked into the inn at Milama, where in the morning, I will begin my long-winding-plan to sweep the voluptuous Elmina off her feet. Man, these beds are so comfortable. Sure, they're those spacious beds that could squeeze in four people at once with minimal effort, but with just one person inside a beast like this... it's fucking GOOD! That's right... my lips carefully weed out the crap my mind thinks, hence... you get the Jack that's mildly pleasing to everyone. But anyway, back to the beds! Man, it's so huge... I notice Hanpan took the entire pillow beside me; good call, I don't blame him. And Rudy and Cecilia are in the other room, probably sharing a bed--

...Wait...

...Would she?

Guardians be praised, I hate how these walls don't tune sound out a lot...

"...Rudy, I love you."

"Cecilia...?"

"I meant more than staying by your side from my oath at Mt. Zenom, and while you were injured. I want to be with you, always."

"Cecilia..." There was some silence. I don't blame him; he's Rudy. "I like this feeling... I love you too..."

"Oh Rudy...!"

I can hear tuned out sobs from her end, then silence, then the separation of lips. Well... I'm actually jealous. But I'm also glad the two managed to come together. Rather, I'm glad Cecilia finally took that first step in reaching to him. Well, I'll congratulate them in the morning when they inevitably come out and admit their togetherness, but right now, it's time to rest!

Let's see... flowers can be a good start--murmuring? Eh, it's probably nothing. Before the flowers, maybe I should ask her if I could have the honor of--why is it getting louder? Wait, is that... soft moaning?? I raise my head and press my ear against the wall. What's going on over there?

"Oh... Ooohh... Rudy..." What. "Ooooohh... Rudy... Aaahh..."

"Cecilia... Cecilia..." Huh... I guess it was nothing-- "You're so beautiful, Cecilia."

"Rudy, I've dreamed of this for so long. My dearest love, my cherished friend," Damn, that's cheesy. "I want you... I want to be one with you."

Oh they are NOT doing what I think they're gonna do!

Getting together is acceptable on my part, but I am not gonna stand here, letting my friends treat themselves like attractions at the Adlehyde Fair, while I'M trying to sleep! ... Wait wait wait wait... I'm Jack. I'm the calm one. I can exercise tranquil, coolness... but it's still a challenge to exercise calm when I can hear their bed starting to move.

"Ooohh... ah... aaahh... aahh..."

"Ghu... ghuh... ghuaah... aaah..."

I wonder who's on top... OH DAMMIT now look what they're doing to me. Damn those kids and their inner orbs of pent up sexual tension. They just COULDN'T have found an approriate time or locale to do this in! But I'm not gonna complain... outloud. If I were a complete ass, I would've banged my fist on the wall, barking at them to keep it down, thus ruining their moment. No, wait... a COMPLETE ass would have used my sword to cleave down the wall on top of them, offing them in one attack. Granted, they'd probably be together in the afterlife, and realistically, Rudy would just've shrugged the wall off, shoot me... an angry glare to get out, then get back to boning Cecilia. But nope; I'm Jack.

"Aaahhh... Aaahh! Rudy... Rudy...!! Please, deeper Rudy!"

"Cecilia..." Holy deep breaths, man. "You're so tight... I..."

"Rudy, I'm so close...!!"

"Aaaaahh... aaaaooooohhh..."

...They're really testing my patience, they are. Animals, that's what they are. Although, I am surprised that my little buddy Hanpan managed to sleep through this, or rather, hasn't woken up from this--

"Oh Rudy! Rudy! RUDY!!"

"CECILIA!!!"

...I unsheath my sword, and I make my way to their room. I was trapped in a hotel with my thoughts and my two travelling partners, engaging in 'relations' and nearly screaming their lungs off with lewd cries that could've very well awakened the entire town. If there's a candlelit mob outside, I will smack the both of them upside their heads with my sword. And smack 'the Princess' a couple more times. Odd, now I only hear breathing of the ragged variety. I open the door a peak to peek in...

"Rudy..." The two are lying on their sides, breathing heavily, embracing each other I think. Now I'll never know who was on top.

"Cecilia..."

"This is the life that I want... the life away from royalty, away from Adlehyde. The only thing I want, is to be by your side for the rest of my years."

"Then stay with me, Cecilia..." Wow, he really sounds happy. "We can keep wandering forever." Wanderers forever, huh? Yeah, right. "But what will we tell Jack?"

I hear a faint laugh. "Oh Rudy... Jack doesn't need to know. We could just keep doing this behind his back." You little bitch.

"I love you Cecilia..."

"I love you too, Rudy..."

She's pushing herself closer, laying her head on his shoulder, and the both of them are looking content. ...Okay, they get spared tonight, because of that tender moment, so I close the door silently. I make it back to my room, and plop back into bed, and just let the pent-up jealousy from not having that tender of a bed moment myself when I their age DISAPPEAR in this bed. I get comfy. "Aaaaahhh... Fuck those kids."

--

(General POV)

In the cafe part of the inn, we see Jack Van Burace musing in thought over a drink about how to go about the right way to charm the ex-Harken Elmina. Hanpan was on his shoulder, nibbling on some food while ducking out of sight if a barmaid came around. Fully clothed, Cecilia Lynne Adlehyde comes down the stairs and joins Jack at the table.

"Good morning, Jack!"

"Eh. Morning, Cecilia." He failed at small talk today. "Sleep well?"

"Oh," the ex-Princess stammered a little, before recovering smoothly. "YEAH. Best sleep I ever had."

"I would imagine so." The treasure hunter muttered under his breath.

"Excuse me--"

"Well, I got some planning to do around Milama." Jack got up, plopped some Gella on the table, and started to head out the inn. "Oh, Cecilia. One more thing."

"Yes, Jack?"

He cleared his throat. "The next time you decide to fuck Rudy, would you mind keeping it down? Had to wait until you were done so I could actually get some sleep!" He noticed Cecilia's dumbfounded shock at being discovered. He smiled wide and laughed out loud. "Man, that felt good to let out!" He started whistling a tune (in the beat of the Wild Arms 1/ACF intro music), and walked out, leaving Cecilia there.

"Morning, Cecilia!" Rudy came down and hugged her from behind, only noticing her unchanged expression. "What's wrong?"

"... ..." Her head turned to his. "Jack knows."

"I figured he would sooner or later, but this was too soon!" Rudy looked back up to their room. "Wanna go back to bed?"

"... YES."