Hate Me
folder
Kingdom Hearts › Slash/Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
1
Views:
653
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Kingdom Hearts › Slash/Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
1
Views:
653
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Kingdom Hearts, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Hate Me
Hate Me
SoraxRiku
Sora can't forgive himself for all the things he didn't do.
(Written partially while listening to the song 'Hate Me' by Blue October. Thus, the title.)
I just finished watching What Dreams May Come and I had the strongest urge to write something. So, I sat down at my computer, opened up Writer, and this is what came out. I wanted cheery, I got melancholy. I wanted a happy ending, I got a depressing one.
Oh boy. I can already tell that it's gonna be one of those days.
If you really want to get into the mood, I would suggest either the song 'Sing for Absolution' by Muse, or 'Hate Me' by Blue October. Here are some links to Youtube videos with those songs. I listened to both while writing so I guess that they're sort of the soundtrack to this one. SfA is an extremely emotional song that's sure to strike a few chords and HM just really fits this fic. I, for one, bawled my first time hearing SfA while reading a fic called Strong Heart of If you want a good cry—and I do mean a good cry—try out Strong Heart in the DBZ section. Guaranteed to have you a sniffling, watery-eyed mess by the end. Oddly enough though, you aren't left with this felling of hollow depression. Hm... Wow. I just so totally got off topic. Forgive my wandering mind. Well, here's the links I promised a while back.
Sing for Absolution: Me: they're FF7. I'll warn you though, they're both a bit of an acquired taste. Just wait for the 3 minute mark on SfA and you'll see why I like it so much.
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What does it mean when you say that you took something for granted?
Are you implying that you didn't take everything you could have away from an experience? Or maybe that you didn't live to the fullest?
It doesn't make you a bad person does it? Just because you were deluded into believing that you didn't have to live like it was your last day on earth, it doesn't mean that you're a bad person...does it?
I guess that when it comes to something like being sure that you had a steady job just because you could get by just fine from week to week, when it's something like that, it's not bad. Or when you think you have all the time in the world, but really you don't.
Nah. Silly little stuff like that just means you're naïve. And naïve doesn't equal bad, just a bit... dim. And I guess I'm nothing if not a little dim.
Most people are happy with that explanation and I suppose that I am too.
...But what if you were to take love for granted?
What does that make you? Naïve? Foolish? Spoiled?
Well, let's see. If you were to take love for granted, you would be seeing them through a tinted glass that doesn't allow you to see just how absolutely wonderful they are. You'd be stuck in the realm of the physical. You could see their physical beauty, and you would praise it at the beginning of every day, as you brushed their hair away from their face as they slept peacefully. You would feel irresistibly drawn to somehow claim that beauty as yours, and then you would succumb and do so with a passionate kiss to wake them.
They'd giggle and push your face away, complaining of morning breath and inhumane punishment. And you would roll your eyes as you laughed at their antics. And then you'd be up and on your way to the shower. And after that would be a quick visit to the kitchen to grab some of what they were cooking before yelling a quick “love you” their way as you left.
Maybe to most people it doesn't sound so bad, but you know what you forgot? You forgot to tell him you love him. Sure, you said the words as you were leaving. You did that every day. But when's the last time you did it not just because it was part of your everyday routine... and because you just wanted to?
Or how about the last time that you really appreciated that no one else could—nobody else would— ever stick with you when you were being ass, like you so often were. And then was the day when you were just feeling like shit, but the moment you saw him dancing and singing along with the radio in the kitchen when you got home, you instantly felt better.
You never thanked him once for any of that.
And what about the memories that he gave you? The memories that kept you sane even when it hurt to just be alive—times like now, yeah?
His devious smile as picked up the stray blitzball, only to run off in the opposite direction with it screaming bloody murder as the entire blitz team chased after him.
The sound of his voice, raspy from the hours of sex and passion you wanted for your birthday instead of a wrapped gift.
The feel of the soft skin of his belly from when you slide your frozen hand under his sweater as you skated on a frozen lake during a visit to Christmas town. He yelped and nearly fell on his butt before clinging tighter as he shoved his fingers down the back of your pants. That one still brings a chuckle to your lips, even now.
But did you ever think to tell him how grateful you were to have him? How much you loved him?
No, you didn't. You thought he would always be there to hear, so you never thought to say it. You never thought that he was mortal enough to be hurt. He was your baby. So how could something as ridiculously nonlethal as a rainstorm on his way home from class take him from you? How was that even possible?
Spoiled? Yeah that sounds about right.
And you will never be able to forgive yourself for having been so selfish with your affections so that your farewell gift to him had been a cheap “I love you” that you had just barely remembered to yell back in the direction of the door.
And unlike naïve, selfish does equal bad.
As I lean over the polished black coffin that hides my baby's cold, pale form from my eyes, I whisper, just loud enough to for me alone to hear it.
“I love you, Riku.”
I really do mean it this time, and I'll never forgive my stupidity in forgetting that.
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Wow. Here I sit down with the intention of writing a sappy love ficlet, and I get Riku being killed in a car accident with Sora left behind to wallow in misery. Mur. Please excuse me while I go cry myself to sleep.
SoraxRiku
Sora can't forgive himself for all the things he didn't do.
(Written partially while listening to the song 'Hate Me' by Blue October. Thus, the title.)
I just finished watching What Dreams May Come and I had the strongest urge to write something. So, I sat down at my computer, opened up Writer, and this is what came out. I wanted cheery, I got melancholy. I wanted a happy ending, I got a depressing one.
Oh boy. I can already tell that it's gonna be one of those days.
If you really want to get into the mood, I would suggest either the song 'Sing for Absolution' by Muse, or 'Hate Me' by Blue October. Here are some links to Youtube videos with those songs. I listened to both while writing so I guess that they're sort of the soundtrack to this one. SfA is an extremely emotional song that's sure to strike a few chords and HM just really fits this fic. I, for one, bawled my first time hearing SfA while reading a fic called Strong Heart of If you want a good cry—and I do mean a good cry—try out Strong Heart in the DBZ section. Guaranteed to have you a sniffling, watery-eyed mess by the end. Oddly enough though, you aren't left with this felling of hollow depression. Hm... Wow. I just so totally got off topic. Forgive my wandering mind. Well, here's the links I promised a while back.
Sing for Absolution: Me: they're FF7. I'll warn you though, they're both a bit of an acquired taste. Just wait for the 3 minute mark on SfA and you'll see why I like it so much.
0000000000000000000000
What does it mean when you say that you took something for granted?
Are you implying that you didn't take everything you could have away from an experience? Or maybe that you didn't live to the fullest?
It doesn't make you a bad person does it? Just because you were deluded into believing that you didn't have to live like it was your last day on earth, it doesn't mean that you're a bad person...does it?
I guess that when it comes to something like being sure that you had a steady job just because you could get by just fine from week to week, when it's something like that, it's not bad. Or when you think you have all the time in the world, but really you don't.
Nah. Silly little stuff like that just means you're naïve. And naïve doesn't equal bad, just a bit... dim. And I guess I'm nothing if not a little dim.
Most people are happy with that explanation and I suppose that I am too.
...But what if you were to take love for granted?
What does that make you? Naïve? Foolish? Spoiled?
Well, let's see. If you were to take love for granted, you would be seeing them through a tinted glass that doesn't allow you to see just how absolutely wonderful they are. You'd be stuck in the realm of the physical. You could see their physical beauty, and you would praise it at the beginning of every day, as you brushed their hair away from their face as they slept peacefully. You would feel irresistibly drawn to somehow claim that beauty as yours, and then you would succumb and do so with a passionate kiss to wake them.
They'd giggle and push your face away, complaining of morning breath and inhumane punishment. And you would roll your eyes as you laughed at their antics. And then you'd be up and on your way to the shower. And after that would be a quick visit to the kitchen to grab some of what they were cooking before yelling a quick “love you” their way as you left.
Maybe to most people it doesn't sound so bad, but you know what you forgot? You forgot to tell him you love him. Sure, you said the words as you were leaving. You did that every day. But when's the last time you did it not just because it was part of your everyday routine... and because you just wanted to?
Or how about the last time that you really appreciated that no one else could—nobody else would— ever stick with you when you were being ass, like you so often were. And then was the day when you were just feeling like shit, but the moment you saw him dancing and singing along with the radio in the kitchen when you got home, you instantly felt better.
You never thanked him once for any of that.
And what about the memories that he gave you? The memories that kept you sane even when it hurt to just be alive—times like now, yeah?
His devious smile as picked up the stray blitzball, only to run off in the opposite direction with it screaming bloody murder as the entire blitz team chased after him.
The sound of his voice, raspy from the hours of sex and passion you wanted for your birthday instead of a wrapped gift.
The feel of the soft skin of his belly from when you slide your frozen hand under his sweater as you skated on a frozen lake during a visit to Christmas town. He yelped and nearly fell on his butt before clinging tighter as he shoved his fingers down the back of your pants. That one still brings a chuckle to your lips, even now.
But did you ever think to tell him how grateful you were to have him? How much you loved him?
No, you didn't. You thought he would always be there to hear, so you never thought to say it. You never thought that he was mortal enough to be hurt. He was your baby. So how could something as ridiculously nonlethal as a rainstorm on his way home from class take him from you? How was that even possible?
Spoiled? Yeah that sounds about right.
And you will never be able to forgive yourself for having been so selfish with your affections so that your farewell gift to him had been a cheap “I love you” that you had just barely remembered to yell back in the direction of the door.
And unlike naïve, selfish does equal bad.
As I lean over the polished black coffin that hides my baby's cold, pale form from my eyes, I whisper, just loud enough to for me alone to hear it.
“I love you, Riku.”
I really do mean it this time, and I'll never forgive my stupidity in forgetting that.
0000000000000000000000
Wow. Here I sit down with the intention of writing a sappy love ficlet, and I get Riku being killed in a car accident with Sora left behind to wallow in misery. Mur. Please excuse me while I go cry myself to sleep.