Mullets are for winners

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away….

Wait, fuck this noise. I need something that sounds more amazing, less cheesy, more sexy, you know what. Oh fuck, it’s fucking Jesus longcat versus fucking Devil longcat! That is made of so much win it’s not even funny. Holy shit, wow… that’s fucking awesome. Oh man, fuck dolfies… dolfies at Disney? What the hell… anyways, longcat is fucking awesome. End of fucking story. Longcat is so made of win. Holy shit, fucking hot Fran ass. That is so turning me on I’d tap that shit.

Okay, back to the story.

Anyways, so like, this one time when I was at a drunken party a friend of mine told me this amazing story. She was telling me about this lawyer she knew, he was this really hot lawyer, you know, the kind you don’t usually expect to see in a court house. His name was Miles Edgeworth and he was really pretty, almost girly pretty, I swore he had a vagina but I guess not. But ya, he was a pretty lad, silver hair and a nice smile. I wanted to jump in the back of his car and touch him all over... especially with that cravat of his. But I’m just rambling now. He was a fine… hot ass looking man.

He had a friend, this other lawyer, Phoenix was his name. He was kind of a tard, spiked hair and a goofy face. Seemed like a nice man though, always trying to protect the weak and all that shit tards like him liked to do. Though, I suppose it was good… not as hot as the other lawyer but still, at least a eight point two in my book.

So ya, these two lawyers were good friends, though I think they may have been a little more than friends if you get my drift. If you don’t I simply mean I’m pretty sure they were the ones touching each other in the back of the car. That’s really hot though, I mean really fucking hot. Wish I was between that man sandwich.

I guess I’ll actually get to the story now.

So one day these two men were chatting with one another, you’d think it’d be about lawyering things; the next case, the people who were charged, the crazy antics that happened in the courtroom, but on this day they’re were discussing nothing about the courtroom but rather about the ladies.

“These women, I can’t get them off me!” Phoenix boasted, obviously impressed with his skills of picking up the ladies.

Edgeworth just looked at him, not much expression on his face, seemed like he really didn’t care about his friend was ranting about. “Are you sure you’re not just referring to Maya,” he responded, a smug smirk spreading across his face.

Phoenix stared at him. “Man, fuck you Edgeworth!”

“Gladly.”

“Wait… what?” Phoenix said, bewildered at the comment he just heard.

“Oh nothing,” Edgeworth replied, “I’m just certain that your ability to attract the opposite sex may just apply to the under-aged girls found in your office, Wright.”

“…. Oh fuck off Edgeworth! What do you know about picking up the ladies? I thought you liked mudkips?”

“I don’t about your mudkips or whatever they’re called,” Edgeworth stared, “but I am so skilled at picking up the ladies, I would have to grow a mullet to make it a challenge.”

“Prove it then! I wanna see this mullet of yours by next week as well as some hot fox attached to your arm, and I don’t mean your sister. I’ll give you my latest copy of Nintendogs if you do it but if you loose you have to clean my office for a week straight!”

“Franzeska isn’t my sister first off and second off I’ll take your bet and raise you. If I win you have to wear a frilly dress and serve me tea every day at 2 for a month.”

“Sure, whatever you say Edgeworth. I’ll bet that cause there’s no way you’ll ever get a woman with a mullet and that cravat!”

And with that the two men shook on it and walked their separate ways.