Just Another Sonadow Fanfic
folder
+S through Z › Sonic
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
6,346
Reviews:
13
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
+S through Z › Sonic
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
6,346
Reviews:
13
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Sonic The Hedgehog game series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Just Another Sonadow Fanfic
~~~
Just Another Sonadow Fanfic
By Harley Quinn hyenaholic
~~~
Me: I was asked for this, by several people. And thusly I give it. It wasn’t easy to make it utterly clichéd, because there are less conventions in Sonadow fanfics, but I managed… Behold! The long-awaited Sonadow fanfic! Everything that makes a Sonadow fanfic go so utterly wrong!
Oh, and I don't own Sonic, Shadow, or any Sega character, because they all belong to Sega and Sonic team. It's a bit redundant to say that. Wouldn't it be easier to say "I do own this/that/the other and forget about it the rest of the time. Like a 'claimer' instead of a disclaimer.
~~~
Okay… So, Shadow had fallen from the ARK. That’s the third time this month, and he’s getting pretty damn sick of it. Anyway, he landed, although we never find out what saved him from dying horribly, and got to angsting good and hard. But not the normal angst, oh no. Normal angst was just too normal. The Ultimate Lifeform needed the Ultimate Angst.
“Damn,” Shadow muttered, “Now I’ve got to sit around and angst for a couple of weeks over Maria. Glaring like that gives me such a damn headache…”
Then lo! Maria appeared in a ghostly form, “Shadow, don’t angst over me any more,” she said, “Angst over Sonic.”
“What? Why the hell would I want to angst over that stupid blue freak?” Shadow asked.
“Because you’re in a Sonadow fanfic,” Maria explained gently.
“What, again?” Shadow felt like crying, “Listen, I really can’t stand those things any more… I’m not gay, please Maria, you have to believe me!”
“Goodbye, Shadow,” said Maria.
“Maria!” said Shadow. Then he got down to angsting. If I was as depressed as he is, I think I'd slash my wrists or something... but it seems he can handle it.
~~~
While Shadow was busy angsting something chronic about Sonic, Sonic was also angsting. About Shadow’s death and how he didn’t manage to save the black hedgehog who would have liked to kill him several times over. He spent some time thinking about those ruby eyes and ebony fur, and then Tails came in. Yes, Tails.
“YAY! I’m in a fanfic!” he screamed. He'd obviously been spending too much time with Charmee.
“Oh, fuck off Tails,” Sonic answered, “Let me angst in peace.”
“But Sonic, Shadow’s death wasn’t your fault!” Tails insisted.
Sonic threw a beer can at him. He’d recently started drinking. Tails buggered off back to Knuckles’ place to watch him masturbate some more. Nobody commented.
Sonic stood up. He needed to go for a walk. Since this was a Sonadow fanfic, Amy had recently turned into a lesbian and was dating Rouge so that the author didn’t have to worry about her getting in the way. Despite the fact they hate each other in the games, they were now screwing. So he didn’t have to worry about her.
He was wandering down a forest path, when a black shape said words to the effect of, “Okay, let’s get this the hell over with.”
“Huh?” Sonic looked up into Shadow’s ruby eyes and ebony fur, “Shadow? You’re dead!”
“I should be so lucky…” Shadow muttered.
“Shadow, I’ve missed you!” Sonic shouted, then blushed like a little girl.
“Sonic, I’ve come here to tell you one thing and one thing only,” Shadow said firmly, “I’m-“
“In love with me!” Sonic shouted.
“No, I’m not gay, dammit! And like hell am I gay for you! Now if I was gay, I’d try for Knuckles. He’s not fat, and he’s got the Master Emerald, I’m sure that could come in handy-”
“You’re gay!” Sonic shouted, “And you love me! Come on, live at my house!”
“Er… no thanks, Sonic,” Shadow shuddered, “I’ve got a cyrostasis tube I keep handy for in-between games. Someone always wakes me up in time to blow a few things up.”
But it was too late. Shadow found himself being dragged along the forest path to Sonic’s house. Nobody else seemed to comment, strangely enough. Sonic holding the hand of a presumed-dead hedgehog was considered quite the norm by now.
Sonic dragged Shadow into his house. Abruptly it became night-time.
“Let’s eat pizza and watch a romantic comedy!” Sonic shouted.
“Actually, I don’t like pizza,” Shadow said, “I like kebabs. They come on sharp sticks and-“
“PIZZA!” Sonic bellowed, forcing pizza down Shadow’s throat until he was nearly sick. They started watching a romantic movie.
“Can’t we watch something with more explosions?” Shadow asked. Sonic didn’t hear him, because he was crying so hard to display his feelings. He moved a little closer to Shadow, who shifted away. Sonic moved closer again. Shadow shifted away some more. Sonic moved closer again. Shadow fell off the couch and onto the floor.
“Shadow!” Sonic shouted, leaping on top of him and trying to pull his clothes off, “Let’s make love!”
“KEEP THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU GAY PSYCHO!” Shadow screamed, and punched Sonic in the stomach. Only he missed, because of the vast number of Sonadow fans reading this.
“Come on, Shadow!” Sonic yelled, “I’ll even be the ‘uke’!”
“What the hell is a ‘uke’?” Shadow asked, still trying to get Sonic off him.
“It’s the unpleasant term for the ‘girl’ in a male/male relationship. Come on, you’re the one who’s always coming on to me!” Sonic yelled.
“No I’m not!” Shadow insisted, “I hate you! I’ve tried to kill you at least five times by now! For fucks sake let me go!”
“I love you, Shadow!” shouted Sonic. He started grinding his hips into Shadow’s rather painfully, moaning in what he thought was a pleasured way.
Shadow started to cry. He was a decent guy, he paid his taxes on time, and he hadn’t done anything particularly wrong lately, unless you counted that little incident in Las Vegas with Amy and Rouge… so why was he always pushed into these kinds of fanfic situations?
“Aw, don’t cry, Shadow!” Sonic enthused, “I’ll be the uke!”
“But I’m not gay!” Shadow wailed, searching for a way out of the situation, he hit on what seemed to be the perfect solution, “I’ll tell you what, Sonic… half of all Sonadow fanfiction involves me raping you. I’ll drug you, tie you to a bed and rape you. You get to be the uke, I get to be in charge, and desperate fangirls and Shadow-haters get to see me fucking you. Everybody’s happy.”
“That works for me,” Sonic grinned, “Here’s some chloroform. I’ll get the handcuffs.”
Shadow poured a generous amount of chloroform onto a hankerchief, though where he'd got it from beats me. When Sonic came back into the room holding a pair of handcuffs, he pressed it to Sonic’s face and handcuffed him to the bed as he slipped into unconciousness.
Then he ran like the bastard he was, hoping that he could escape the author's sick mind and demented typewriter.
Sonic miraculously came around at that point, and started screaming, “Help! Shadow’s raping me!” he screamed, and started crying when nobody came to his aid, because nobody ever did. Then he realised that he’d been tricked! Shadow wasn’t raping him at all!
"Help! Shadow's not raping me!" he screamed.
Shadow ran faster, until he was well out of the city. Suddenly he stopped running, "Hey, wasn't I in the forest a moment ago?" he asked himself. Dismissing the thought as being the result of his questionable sanity, he started running again.
He ran into… oh, I don’t know… Knuckles. Who had inexplicably come down from the Floating Island for no apparent reason. He’d been doing that a lot lately, but obviously not enough.
“Knuckles! You gotta fix me up with a woman!” Shadow screamed, “Everybody thinks I’m gay!”
“Well, you are gay,” said Knuckles. He pointed behind him to Shadow, who was standing there with cum dripping all down his cock. It occurred to Shadow that Knuckles had been spending an awful lot of time alone on the Floating Island lately.
And with Tails.
This robot copy - if it was a robot copy - explained everything. Although I’m not entirely sure how.
Shadow looked at Shadow for a while. Then he started to cry all over again. It really was remarkably pathetic.
~~~
Me: How’d you like them apples, eh? Poor old Shadow… he never gets a break does he? And I didn’t mean to offend homosexuals either. If anybody here has ideas for more relationship parodies… just tell me. It’s not that I’m short on ideas, but I do like people to take an interest.
You have no idea how many bad Sonadow fics I had to trawl through to be able to read this. So give a hoot - review my work!
Just Another Sonadow Fanfic
By Harley Quinn hyenaholic
~~~
Me: I was asked for this, by several people. And thusly I give it. It wasn’t easy to make it utterly clichéd, because there are less conventions in Sonadow fanfics, but I managed… Behold! The long-awaited Sonadow fanfic! Everything that makes a Sonadow fanfic go so utterly wrong!
Oh, and I don't own Sonic, Shadow, or any Sega character, because they all belong to Sega and Sonic team. It's a bit redundant to say that. Wouldn't it be easier to say "I do own this/that/the other and forget about it the rest of the time. Like a 'claimer' instead of a disclaimer.
~~~
Okay… So, Shadow had fallen from the ARK. That’s the third time this month, and he’s getting pretty damn sick of it. Anyway, he landed, although we never find out what saved him from dying horribly, and got to angsting good and hard. But not the normal angst, oh no. Normal angst was just too normal. The Ultimate Lifeform needed the Ultimate Angst.
“Damn,” Shadow muttered, “Now I’ve got to sit around and angst for a couple of weeks over Maria. Glaring like that gives me such a damn headache…”
Then lo! Maria appeared in a ghostly form, “Shadow, don’t angst over me any more,” she said, “Angst over Sonic.”
“What? Why the hell would I want to angst over that stupid blue freak?” Shadow asked.
“Because you’re in a Sonadow fanfic,” Maria explained gently.
“What, again?” Shadow felt like crying, “Listen, I really can’t stand those things any more… I’m not gay, please Maria, you have to believe me!”
“Goodbye, Shadow,” said Maria.
“Maria!” said Shadow. Then he got down to angsting. If I was as depressed as he is, I think I'd slash my wrists or something... but it seems he can handle it.
~~~
While Shadow was busy angsting something chronic about Sonic, Sonic was also angsting. About Shadow’s death and how he didn’t manage to save the black hedgehog who would have liked to kill him several times over. He spent some time thinking about those ruby eyes and ebony fur, and then Tails came in. Yes, Tails.
“YAY! I’m in a fanfic!” he screamed. He'd obviously been spending too much time with Charmee.
“Oh, fuck off Tails,” Sonic answered, “Let me angst in peace.”
“But Sonic, Shadow’s death wasn’t your fault!” Tails insisted.
Sonic threw a beer can at him. He’d recently started drinking. Tails buggered off back to Knuckles’ place to watch him masturbate some more. Nobody commented.
Sonic stood up. He needed to go for a walk. Since this was a Sonadow fanfic, Amy had recently turned into a lesbian and was dating Rouge so that the author didn’t have to worry about her getting in the way. Despite the fact they hate each other in the games, they were now screwing. So he didn’t have to worry about her.
He was wandering down a forest path, when a black shape said words to the effect of, “Okay, let’s get this the hell over with.”
“Huh?” Sonic looked up into Shadow’s ruby eyes and ebony fur, “Shadow? You’re dead!”
“I should be so lucky…” Shadow muttered.
“Shadow, I’ve missed you!” Sonic shouted, then blushed like a little girl.
“Sonic, I’ve come here to tell you one thing and one thing only,” Shadow said firmly, “I’m-“
“In love with me!” Sonic shouted.
“No, I’m not gay, dammit! And like hell am I gay for you! Now if I was gay, I’d try for Knuckles. He’s not fat, and he’s got the Master Emerald, I’m sure that could come in handy-”
“You’re gay!” Sonic shouted, “And you love me! Come on, live at my house!”
“Er… no thanks, Sonic,” Shadow shuddered, “I’ve got a cyrostasis tube I keep handy for in-between games. Someone always wakes me up in time to blow a few things up.”
But it was too late. Shadow found himself being dragged along the forest path to Sonic’s house. Nobody else seemed to comment, strangely enough. Sonic holding the hand of a presumed-dead hedgehog was considered quite the norm by now.
Sonic dragged Shadow into his house. Abruptly it became night-time.
“Let’s eat pizza and watch a romantic comedy!” Sonic shouted.
“Actually, I don’t like pizza,” Shadow said, “I like kebabs. They come on sharp sticks and-“
“PIZZA!” Sonic bellowed, forcing pizza down Shadow’s throat until he was nearly sick. They started watching a romantic movie.
“Can’t we watch something with more explosions?” Shadow asked. Sonic didn’t hear him, because he was crying so hard to display his feelings. He moved a little closer to Shadow, who shifted away. Sonic moved closer again. Shadow shifted away some more. Sonic moved closer again. Shadow fell off the couch and onto the floor.
“Shadow!” Sonic shouted, leaping on top of him and trying to pull his clothes off, “Let’s make love!”
“KEEP THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU GAY PSYCHO!” Shadow screamed, and punched Sonic in the stomach. Only he missed, because of the vast number of Sonadow fans reading this.
“Come on, Shadow!” Sonic yelled, “I’ll even be the ‘uke’!”
“What the hell is a ‘uke’?” Shadow asked, still trying to get Sonic off him.
“It’s the unpleasant term for the ‘girl’ in a male/male relationship. Come on, you’re the one who’s always coming on to me!” Sonic yelled.
“No I’m not!” Shadow insisted, “I hate you! I’ve tried to kill you at least five times by now! For fucks sake let me go!”
“I love you, Shadow!” shouted Sonic. He started grinding his hips into Shadow’s rather painfully, moaning in what he thought was a pleasured way.
Shadow started to cry. He was a decent guy, he paid his taxes on time, and he hadn’t done anything particularly wrong lately, unless you counted that little incident in Las Vegas with Amy and Rouge… so why was he always pushed into these kinds of fanfic situations?
“Aw, don’t cry, Shadow!” Sonic enthused, “I’ll be the uke!”
“But I’m not gay!” Shadow wailed, searching for a way out of the situation, he hit on what seemed to be the perfect solution, “I’ll tell you what, Sonic… half of all Sonadow fanfiction involves me raping you. I’ll drug you, tie you to a bed and rape you. You get to be the uke, I get to be in charge, and desperate fangirls and Shadow-haters get to see me fucking you. Everybody’s happy.”
“That works for me,” Sonic grinned, “Here’s some chloroform. I’ll get the handcuffs.”
Shadow poured a generous amount of chloroform onto a hankerchief, though where he'd got it from beats me. When Sonic came back into the room holding a pair of handcuffs, he pressed it to Sonic’s face and handcuffed him to the bed as he slipped into unconciousness.
Then he ran like the bastard he was, hoping that he could escape the author's sick mind and demented typewriter.
Sonic miraculously came around at that point, and started screaming, “Help! Shadow’s raping me!” he screamed, and started crying when nobody came to his aid, because nobody ever did. Then he realised that he’d been tricked! Shadow wasn’t raping him at all!
"Help! Shadow's not raping me!" he screamed.
Shadow ran faster, until he was well out of the city. Suddenly he stopped running, "Hey, wasn't I in the forest a moment ago?" he asked himself. Dismissing the thought as being the result of his questionable sanity, he started running again.
He ran into… oh, I don’t know… Knuckles. Who had inexplicably come down from the Floating Island for no apparent reason. He’d been doing that a lot lately, but obviously not enough.
“Knuckles! You gotta fix me up with a woman!” Shadow screamed, “Everybody thinks I’m gay!”
“Well, you are gay,” said Knuckles. He pointed behind him to Shadow, who was standing there with cum dripping all down his cock. It occurred to Shadow that Knuckles had been spending an awful lot of time alone on the Floating Island lately.
And with Tails.
This robot copy - if it was a robot copy - explained everything. Although I’m not entirely sure how.
Shadow looked at Shadow for a while. Then he started to cry all over again. It really was remarkably pathetic.
~~~
Me: How’d you like them apples, eh? Poor old Shadow… he never gets a break does he? And I didn’t mean to offend homosexuals either. If anybody here has ideas for more relationship parodies… just tell me. It’s not that I’m short on ideas, but I do like people to take an interest.
You have no idea how many bad Sonadow fics I had to trawl through to be able to read this. So give a hoot - review my work!