Endured

Carlos returned to the house where he, Jill, Alice, LJ and Angela had taken up living.

After Racoon City they left the country, hiding out in Canada until their names had been lowered on the Umbrella radar.

He had taken off, not being able to stand being in the house any longer. Just having fought off a series of infections (none of them biohazardous), he needed to get outside.

If only to breathe the fresh air, he had to go.

He left early in the morning, after dropping Angie off at school; turning to the more rural part of the city where they claimed residence.

And it worked.

By the time he had returned to pick up Angie and go home, life was just looking better to him.

The Racoon incident had taken a great toll on all of them. And not one of them was the same as before.

Angie was still being treated with a controlled amount of the T-virus, but had gone back to school.

LJ was only a bit more subdued then he normally would have been, but much more calm.

Jill was jumpy, hardly speaking to anyone outside the surviving group.

Alice was the strangest of all. She seemed different yet exactly the same. But no one could put their finger on what it was about her.

And then there was Carlos himself.

The experience of killing countless undead and bonding with this group of people to live through the disaster had little effect on him at all.

What had really destroyed him was losing Yuri and Nicholai.

While he cared for Yuri and mourned his friend's passing, he missed Nicholai most of all.

The occasional company they had taken in each other's beds only served to effect him more.

He thought about it a lot that day as he sat on a park bench over looking a lake not far from their home.

And the more he thought, the more he became convinced that he had loved his partner.

In much more than the comrade in arms sense.

-----

He closed the door, locking it behind him and set the alarm. It was a forced habit by now.

He followed Angie into the kitchen where Jill sat at the table, reading the newspaper and stirring a cup of coffee.

She looked up and smiled as they entered.

"Hey guys."

Angie hugged her briefly before moving on into the living room.

Carlos watched the girl go and smiled after her.

"There's more coffee." She said, gesturing to the counter.

"Thanks." He replied, moving to get a cup before sitting down beside her.

She waited a minute before folding the paper closed and looking at him, smiling softly, "How was your day out?"

He paused, thinking briefly before glancing at her and smiling back, "It helped."

"Feeling better?" He knew she wasn't referring to the troubles of his heart but responded as such.

"Yeah. I think so."

She sat back, sipping from her cup, "Good." Standing she clapped him on the shoulder, "I've got to go out for a while."

Carlos shifted and withdrew the keys to the black Pontiac he had been driving and handed them to her, "LJ not home?" He asked, knowing that he was the only one who really drove their other car. A black Escalade.

"No, he and Alice went to the store I think."

He grinned, thinking of the two of them grocery shopping; shaking his head and taking a drink of his coffee.

Jill walked to the doorway of the living room, "Angie, I'm going to the mall, wanna come?"

"Sure." The girl grinned before appearing in the kitchen for her jacket, which she had tossed on the back of one of the chairs.

"Want to come?" Jill asked him.

He sat back and looked to her, "Shopping?"

"I need running shoes." She reasoned.

He just smiled, "No thanks."

Angie approached him, placing her hand on his shoulder, "Are you feeling better?"

Carlos turned to her and ruffled her hair gently, "Yeah."

"I'm glad." She smiled, embracing him for a short moment.

He smiled, she really was a smart kid. Not to mention she was caring and had tremendous insight. He was glad that she had survived Racoon.

"Have fun." He said, standing and making for the front hall, intent on taking a nap, since no one else would be home.

"Carlos?"

He turned to see Jill stepping up behind him, "You have a visitor." At this, he raised his eyebrows, "He's in your room, I think."

"Who?" He asked, completely bewildered.

She shrugged but was unable to suppress a small smile. Without a word, she touched his arm briefly before heading out the front door with Angie.

His heart pounded just a bit faster than usual as he made his way upstairs. He had absolutely no idea who would be here to see him.

But at the same time he was intensely anxious.

He paused a moment before pushing open his bedroom door.

And his heart stopped.

"Nicholai?" He breathed.

At the sound of his name, the red head turned from where he was looking out the window and smiled back at him.

"Carlos." He said, his voice sounding just a bit weak.

He swallowed, closing his door and stepping into the room.

His former partner smiled back at him, moving half the distance between them, Carlos taking the other.

They stood a modest foot from one another.

"I thought you died." Carlos whispered, unable to produce his full voice.

"So did I."

Carlos shook his head, closing his eyes and biting back bitter tears, "I saw you..."

The other man watched as Carlos' internal struggle with his feelings reached the surface. His face reddened as he fought not to break.

Slowly, he reached out and took Carlos' hand. His former choked on a breath, keeping his eyes shut.

Nicholai brought his hand up, letting it touch his stubbled cheek.

Carlos spread his fingers, feeling the defined cheek, the hard line of his jaw, ghosting over his lips. Nicholai instantly felt his eyes mist, but continued to hold onto Carlos' wrist as it traveled down his throat to his chest.

When he reached his heart, Carlos pressed his palm down firmly, feeling the steady beat.

Tears slipped down both of his cheeks, though he tried to stop them.

"Nicholai..." He breathed.

"Open your eyes."

Complying instantly, his black eyes opened to meet blue ones.

They stared at one another for a brief moment before Carlos grabbed his head and kissed him roughly.

Nicholai groaned, missing this contact. Long had he buried his true feelings for his partner, desperate to not let him know how he really felt.

But not now. They needed this.

They needed each other.

Carlos' tongue sunk into his mouth and their hands began traveling over one another's bodies.

Clothes were lost quickly and they found the bed without problem.

They lay beside one another for only a moment before Carlos lifted Nicholai's leg and rolled him onto his back; situating himself between them.

"Carlos..." Nicholai gasped, spreading his legs and bending them at the knees; allowing Carlos to rest comfortably atop him.

He said nothing, panting slightly against Nicholai's neck, pressing a sucking kiss over his pulse.

It had been a while since the two of them had met in such a manor but neither had forgotten the feel of the other. Nor had they forgotten how they fit together.

Both longed for it again.

Carlos sucked quickly on two of his fingers before rubbing them over Nicholai's entrance.

The redhead beneath him closed his eyes, mouth open, panting.

He was stretched quickly; feeling his knees shake at the feeling, "Now." He gasped.

"Look at me." Carlos whispered, positioning himself and bracing his knees under the other man's thighs.

Nicholai complied, eyes popping open to meet the black ones above him. His hands planted themselves on his shoulders and he lifted his legs, settling them on Carlos' hips, "Do it."

Watching his partner's expression carefully, he pushed forward using his own hand to guide himself.

Nicholai gasped and his eyes narrowed, trying to keep them open and not cry out as Carlos sank inside him.

He grit his teeth, feeling himself stretch to accommodate the erection sliding inside him.

Carlos examined his face, "Hurt?" He breathed, his hips meeting Nicholai's.

Breathing deeply for a moment, he closed and opened his eyes, shaking his head though his jaw was set.

Leaning down, Carlos' mouth ghosted over his, tongue slipping in between his open lips.

"Ready?"

Taking another moment for a breath, he nodded.

He pulled back slowly, savoring the feeling of Nicholai clenching and unclenching around him. He groaned and leaned his head back, pushing forward again, "You feel so damn good."

Nicholai breathed hard through his nose, "Faster."

Carlos complied without hesitation, pulling back and pushing forward in an increasingly fast pace.

He looked down, hands engulfing his Nicholai's shoulders, holding him still to take the force of his thrusts.

The blue eyes were shut, his brow furrowed, a look of pained concentration on his face.

"Nicholai..." He grunted.

The redhead opened his eyes and ran his hands up the hard, muscled shoulders to the back of his neck, pulling him down for a kiss, "Don't stop..." He panted.

Carlos found himself coming undone, not able to restrain himself.

He lowered himself down to his elbows and thrust harder. Nicholai gasped and arched beneath him, clutching at his shoulders.

Kissing him once again, he lowered his mouth to suck on the racing pulse in his throat; drawing forth a desperate groan.

"Carlos..." He moaned, forcing his legs up further.

It took only a moment for him to realize what Nicholai was asking for. His hand slithered down between their bodies and grasped his straining erection in a tight fist; pumping quickly.

Below him, Nicholai cried out, lasting only a minute under the pressure before exploding across Carlos' stomach with a salacious groan that morphed into his name.

He felt the legs fall from his waist and heard his name called. The once gentle massaging of his erection turned into a biting clench.

Panting helplessly, he thrust only twice more before he erupted inside Nicholai; moaning harshly.

For a moment, time seemed to stand still.

Nicholai felt Carlos' heat leaking into him and he closed his eyes, holding him tight.

And Carlos kissed him, feeling the evidence of Nicholai's pleasure dripping off his fingers as he held his softening cock in his hand.

Feeling what he thought he had lost and now knowing he had no doubts about Nicholai.

He wanted to tell him that he loved him, wanted to speak the words, but found he couldn't.

It was just too much.

The reunion, the sex and now the realization that he did indeed love his partner... he just couldn't form the words to say it.

Instead, they kissed slowly, eyes open.

He withdrew and rolled onto his side, pulling Nicholai against him.

The redhead curled into his warmth and closed his eyes, hand resting against his chest.

No words were spoken as Nicholai fell asleep without hearing Carlos' confession, but neither seemed to mind.

Carlos had back what he thought he had lost and Nicholai had the same.

And for now that was enough.