A Simple Case of Bad Timing

Disclaimer: I do not own the game that this fanfiction is written for, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.


"A Simple Case of Bad Timing"
A Resident Evil fanfiction
by Cekil1

Disclaimer: All characters portrayed in this story are the legal property of their respective
companies. No slander or harm is meant to them or their owners. Rather this is a tribute to
the characters I know and love in a parody fashion!

Special Thanks go out to Capcom for bringing us the Resident Evil Series & S.D. Perry for
her novelization of the games.

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"About two hours I think... okay, I'll see ya soon... bye."

Leon hung up the phone and walked toward his bedroom clenching a towel around his waist.
He'd just gotten off the phone with Claire Redfield, his current girlfriend and fellow survivor
of the Umbrella Corporaton's viral spill one chilly night in September. That had been more
than a year ago, now their work was at an end.

Just a month or so after the Raccoon Incident, he'd received a call from Jill, Chris and Barry
Burton over in Europe. They'd run into trouble during their investigation of Umbrella's home
office and were in need of extra manpower. Leon and the remaining survivors, including Carlos,
Rebecca and the last members of a neighboring branch of S.T.A.R.S, had immediately went
to their aid.

Unfortunately by this time, Claire had already been captured and sent to a military prison on
Rockford Island that doubled as a bio-weapon testing facility for the corrupt corporation. Chris
was able to save her and the two made it through another disaster including a chemical spill
on the Island proper and a nightmare fight through an abandoned airbase. Just hours before
Chris arrived on the scene to find Claire, she and a young man named Steve Burnside were
working their way through the base's interior, on the road to safety when one of the Ashford
twins captured them. Steve was transformed into a monster as a consequence and
programmed to kill Claire. He was able to stop himself in time but once he'd helped her
escape Alexia ended his life.

In the subsequent weeks after the siblings had returned the fully formed team piled together
their resources and managed to uncover enough hard evidence to nail Umbrella for good.

Leon smiled, reflecting on the trial and the verdict while he got dressed. There was no way
for them to get out of this one, the company and it's multi-national divisions went down and
the employees who were involved with White Umbrella's crimes were sent to various maximum
security prisons for several life sentences apiece. He sat on his twin bed and slipped on his
socks reliving the feeling of elation he'd felt as these and other facts about the company's
fate were announced on national television.

The nightmare was finally over... and he was late!

Properly dressed he rushed from his small apartment building to his car in the nearby lot.
Hopping in he switched on some Coldplay and pulled out onto the highway on his way to the
Redfield's dwelling. Chris and Claire had settled into a nice little house in Jersey and Leon's
place was fortunately but a few miles from it.

He and Claire had been dating for sometime now and he was growing more enraptured
with her the more time they spent together. He wasn't sure yet if it was love but it could
be and very soon at that.

As he pulled into the drive mere minutes later he gave the most frustrating part of his
appearance, (his hair) a quick once over. It insisted on being out of control not that
Claire would mind much but he wanted to look his best. After a knock or two his lady
appeared at the door, dressed to kill...

[ An hour or two after dinner... ]

Leon held Claire's hand gently as they sat in the theater. Needless to say she had been really
excited and with good reason. Tonight wasn't just their first anniversary, it was the day she'd
deemed herself ready to become more intimate with him. Sure they'd made out and she once
gave him a hand job but she wanted to go to the next level. As surprising as it may seem to
some, given the fact that she was in college, she was still a virgin.

'Not in every since of the word though.' She smirked as the vivid memory of her bisexual friend
Lara lept to mind.

'The things she taught me about using your mouth... wow. But this is different, I'm not dealing
with a body similar to my own...'

She'd been over different scenarios on how to proceed in her head during a shower the day
she went to the mall to pick out an outfit she'd been eyeing for their date but unfortunately
that was the same day she started her period.

'Just my luck. Sorry Leon I guess we'll have to wait a little longer...' But there she stopped as an
interesting idea popped into her head.

'Maybe I can still have a little fun without worrying about my cycle.'

She gave their immediate area a quick once over.

'bulk of the audience near the front... not many people behind us...'

Not really surprising seeing as how they were near the back row. She cuddled closer to her
boyfriend and began to plant gentle kisses on his ear and neck. Leon was surprised at the
sudden sensation of her warm lips on his flesh but he went with the flow and allowed her to
do as she pleased. Why rock the boat?

Claire, meanwhile had every intention of doing just that. Seeing as she was on his right, she
slid her left hand away from his grasp and used her right to sneak under his shirt, massaging
his pectorals as she deftly supported her weight on his armrest.

"Leon," she whispered in his ear, "can I..."

She lowered her voice sharply, ensuring he wouldn't hear the rest of her teasing.

"Huh?"

"...can I please..."

"I can't understand you Claire."

"Shh!"

"Sorry ma'am."

He silently berated himself and took a sip of his long forgotten drink. Claire chuckled softly in his
ear before continuing.

"...can I please... suck your cock?"

Leon almost choked on his straw as she finally finished her request. He cleared his throat while
taking time to debate whether she was being serious or not. Claire took his silence as a ringing
yes and followed her assault on his neck and ear with a more direct move.

Slowly, so as to ensure that his focus was locked on her every movement, she inched her
hands toward his crotch. When they were in position she made small circles with her index
finger around his fly, coaxing the blood in his veins to rush south and make ready his
"special friend". The desire to feel her warm hands against his naked flesh was more than
enough to cause that nervous eye-twitch he joked about as she continued to torment him,
caressing his sex through the double layer of his pants and underwear.

"You tease." He whispered in the cool darkness of the theater, glancing at her poorly lit face.

Claire grinned inwardly, at once entering her mock-serious tone of voice.

"Why, whatever do you mean?

"I'll get you for this Redfield."

"I certainly hope so Kennedy."

Deciding she'd toyed with him enough she flashed him a wicked smile and with another less-
than-obvious look around, slid from her seat. She lifted her skirt slightly before adopting a
catcher's squat in front of him and (finally freeing his raging erection from its cotton prison)
she began to give him her patented slow, firm hand job. She squeezed him gently at regular
intervals to remind him that she was in control and he could only wait for her to grant him
sweet release as he withered under her commanding touch.

Leon's gaze alternated between the screen and the lovely greyish-blue of his lady's mischief
filled eyes as she persisted to torture him with her handiwork. Claire, for her part, smiled up
at him and waited until he focused on the screen again. When her chance arrived she quickly
flicked her tongue across the small hole in the crown. This sudden attack caused him to jump
slightly in his seat and with a smirk she proceeded to bathe his cock with her tongue. Starting
from the crown once more she sucked the underside of the shaft on the way toward his
testicles, one of which she took into her mouth. Sucking it for a few seconds she moved to
its twin and repeated the act, finally allowing it to exit with a small barely audible *pop*.

Leon, no longer able to pay attention to the movie, watched her without moving his head to
avoid suspicion from their fellow viewers. He didn't dare stare too long or someone might be
curious as to why he though his lap was more interesting than the show. It was a wonder that
no one had noticed Claire's sudden disappearance but he didn't dwell on that fact much,
because regardless of his outward behavior he was acutely aware of her presence and
once she allowed his rod more fully into her mouth his musings, like his brain, were
effectively shut off.

"This movie blows anyway." He said with such a straight face that he couldn't help but laugh
silently for the both of them at his pun.

Claire's knee-jerk reaction to his 'joke' was a short hum of laughter that caused an older couple
two or three rows up to glance angrily in Leon's general direction, though he failed to notice.
The sound of her chuckle was, for him, a gentle vibration from her lips. Not a bad trade
really. Claire noted the way his eyes glazed over a bit and promised herself to repeat that
particular stimulation later. As she bobbed her head in her boyfriend's lap, she felt Leon's
hand touch her shoulder. Sensing what he wanted she took hold of his wondering dominant
hand and placed it on her head, she'd heard somewhere that men usually liked to control
the speed of 'penile consumption' during oral sex.

'There's a stupid ass name if I've ever heard one, Penile Consumption. How bout the-amount
-of-love-muscle-in-my-mouth-at-any-given-time.'

Claire quickly decided that allowing her mind to drift when she should be focusing wasn't the
brightest idea and once again Leon didn't notice, he was in heaven. His hand left her head and
his hips began to buck to meet her mouth. She guessed correctly that his actions were a sign of
his imminent orgasm and judging by the look on his face he was pretty close.

Unfortunately the movie was due to end in a matter of minutes and Claire, being a generous
young woman, wanted to finish Leon off before people started to leave as the lights came up.
She took a deep breath through her nose and inched her would-be lover's penis into her
throat. She gagged a bit but pressed on until she made it to the point that her nose met his
pubic hair. After another breath she began a slow deep throating technique that evolved
into a faster, cheek hollowing pattern. His expression earlier reminded her to hum around
his shaft to increase his pleasure. Without warning he exploded into her mouth but it was
a realistic amount of sperm spurting from his testicles. Nothing like a male pornstar or
those animated adult shows from Japan.

Claire waited until the flow ebbed into nothingness and disengaged with a slurp that went
beneath the notice of the other viewers as a few applauded the movie's end. Whether they
were clapping for the quality of the movie or the fact that it was finally over was up for
debate. Claire was back in her seat using her semi-empty cup to spit out Leon's 'present'
and before the lights went up they were on their way out. After entering Leon's jeep and
buckling in she smiled at him and poised a question she knew would catch him off-guard.

"Was it good?"

"Huh... wha..."

"The movie, how was it?"

"Oh... it was... uh... wait a minute." He said glancing at her smiling face, "You heard me back
there you devil-woman you."

She laughed outright at his mock-anger as he pulled away from the theater and turned left.

"Yeah, I'm just screwing with ya."

She watched his half scowl turn into that same boyish grin she'd fallen in love with since they'd
met. He told her about the plot and such as they drove on and she made up her mind to avoid
watching the half of the movie she'd missed on video. Later after pulling into the driveway of
her home he put the Ford in park and gave her his real "review".

"To be honest, it was the best I've ever had the pleasure of attending."

"Glad to hear you enjoyed it." She said winking at him and stepping out of the vehicle.

As she reached the door she turned back toward him, motioning for him to roll down the window.

"Next time we should rent another boring one and afterwards I'll give you MY review."

It was only when he was near the end of the street that he got her meaning...

END

Author's Note: This is just a quick one for the group. I figure since I'm a bit of a writer
(and a member) I should contribute a little something. Hope you've enjoyed this
story.