Call of Enoby

Author's note: heya, let's get the show rollin' (I had to change the broom references cause they made no sense in this setting XD)

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Scar for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Scar.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no hair and everything started running towards! He didn't have any hair (basically like Sultan in the Skadovsk) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was... ... ... ... Sultan!

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Sultan shouted "Cyka blyat!" and I couldn't run away.

"Druzhok!" I shouted at him. Sultan fell down and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped it.

"Strelok." he yelled. "Thou must kill Bloodsucker Degtyarev!"

I thought about Bloodsucker and his sexah eyes and gothic black hair and how his face looks just like a hot gopnik. I remembered that Scar had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Scar went out with Bloodsucker before I went out with him and they broke up?

"No, Sultan!" I shouted back.

Sultan gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Scar!"

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Sultan got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Bloodsucker, then thou know what will happen to Scar!" he shouted. Then he run away angrily.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Scar came into the woods.

"Scar!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing camo paint and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between a racoon and a zombie.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we want back to Bar together making out.