Evolving Feelings - Discovery II

Sunday, six days after the unfortunate event, Yugo decided it was finally time to go get Kenji. At some point during the week, the boy had texted him saying he was at Uriko's house and telling him not to worry. Upon arriving, Yugo thanked Mitsuko and awkwardly apologized for letting Kenji take advantage of her hospitality like that. At first, the woman was not very sure it was a good idea to let Kenji go – it was clear there was a thick tension in the air between the two – but in the end she decided not to meddle. Mitsuko knew Yugo well enough to trust his character, even if they weren't exactly close. After the pleasantries were over, Kenji packed his things and they headed back home.

No words were exchanged between the two until they got to the apartment. As soon as the door was closed behind them, Yugo turned to face Kenji and gave him a merciless punch to the side of the face, sending the boy sprawling, then followed with three powerful kicks to the gut. Yugo didn't hold back at all. The assault was so sudden and unexpected that Kenji couldn't even react, and now he was lying on the ground, nearly incapacitated by the pain and queasiness.

"Now we're even," Yugo said vengefully. He was gripped with a feeling of extreme satisfaction and didn't feel the least guilty for it.

Slowly, the boy got up and straightened his clothes, he then went to the sink, coughed up the blood and washed his mouth as best he could. The water stung where the teeth had cut the cheeks, but no broken teeth – which meant Yugo had aimed. Yugo had few qualms about letting his fists speak for him, but it was never premeditated. The fact that this time he had actually planned it was a sign of how angry the man must have been. Kenji knew he deserved much worse. In fact, he should even be grateful Yugo was willing to let him off the hook with just a punch and a few kicks.

The only thing Yugo said after that was: "You're sleeping on the couch from now on." Somehow, that hurt infinitely more than the beating, and again Kenji didn't find the strength to protest. That night, the boy silently cried himself to sleep.

Over the next few days, things returned to a semblance of normality. Yugo spent the day out working and training while Kenji studied at home, did some exercise and cooked. In order to avoid unnecessary questions, the boy had decided to call in sick and skip school until the bruises faded, which would only take couple of days anyway, thanks to his being a zoanthrope.

Every night, when Yugo got home, the boy awkwardly tried to start conversations by asking how his day had been – normally it was the other way around. At first, Yugo replied drily, but as the days passed by he found his anger slowly dying away. Seeing Kenji so miserable every day was frankly depressing, it was starting to get annoying. Thursday night, when they were sitting at the table, Yugo decided to start a conversation himself:

"Hey, you seem to be handling the couch just fine. How are the nightmares?" The man asked. This topic had been nagging at him for a couple of days.

"I don't have them anymore," Kenji replied simply.

"Thought so. When did they stop?"

"A couple of weeks after I recovered my memories."

"Hmm. Why didn't you tell me?"

Kenji averted his eyes and kept silent, hoping against hope that Yugo wouldn't press the subject. No such luck, though.

"Well?"

"I... I didn't want to sleep alone," the boy admitted grudgingly. It was cute in a way, and Yugo couldn't avoid laughing.

"Come on, Kenji, you're sixteen already!"

Kenji sighed. "Yeah, you're right, I should stop acting as a kid." The unexpected seriousness in his voice alarmed Yugo for some reason. "You know," Kenji continued, "you're not a kid either, so maybe I should stop trying to spare your feelings."

Yugo stared without understanding and gave him a 'what do you mean' look. Kenji then stood up and walked up to Yugo, who remained seated.

"Yugo, do you want to know the real reason I did that to you?" This question set off the alarms in Yugo's mind, but he nodded. He did want to know.

"It wasn't to get a 'quick fix', you know. I don't want just a quick fix from you. I want you. All of you – body, heart and soul. Yugo, I love you."

Those words sent Yugo's mind reeling with the connotations. "Wait, you mean you abused me because you love me? How sick is that?!! I know you're at an age of experimentation – hormones and all – but convincing yourself that you actually love me, as in romantic love?! That's too much, you're just confused and deluding yourself!"

"Stop trying to make up excuses for me," Kenji demanded with an icy glare, clearly feeling insulted. "Do you really think I didn't consider those possibilities? Do you take me for a kid with no self-awareness?"

Perhaps Yugo did, now that he stopped to think about it.

"You know," Kenji continued, "when you said I was going to sleep on the couch; that hurt ten times more than when you beat me."

"I'm still not convinced," Yugo said with a voice draped in iron.

"Alright, then I'll give you some more evidence: do you know who I jerk off to at the end of the day? You. Remember my ex-boyfriend? I started dating him because I just couldn't stop thinking about you; it was becoming simply unbearable. And even when I was dating him, the one always on my mind was you, and that's why I broke up with him in the end."

"So, you have the hots for me. That doesn't prove shit."

"No, but it shows how desperate I am. You know, I only lost control that night because I had been holding back my feelings for far too long."

That comment was the last nail on the coffin. "Is this shit for real? Am I really hearing this?!" Yugo demanded with a mixture of incredulity and indignation.

"Yugo, I can't lie to myself any longer."

"Have you actually stopped to think that I'm your brother? Or that I'm straight?! Doesn't that mean anything to you?!"

"Yes, it does, that's why I was trying to spare your feelings, but I can't keep on pretending everything is back to normal, because it's not! I just can't help feeling this way about you, and the more I try to ignore it, the more it grows. Yugo, I want you!"

Still seated, one arm resting easy on the table and the other on his leg, Yugo stopped and stared directly into Kenji's eyes, testing him. The battle of wills lasted for a long moment, with Kenji firmly withstanding the assault of Yugo's scrutinizing glare. The man was grudgingly forced to admit Kenji wasn't simply deluding himself – at the very least, he strongly believed what he was saying. Looking at the young man standing defiantly in front of him, it dawned on Yugo that Kenji was no longer a boy – he had grown up a lot in those three years and changed more than Yugo could have ever anticipated. No longer a scared and obedient child, Kenji was now a man capable of making his own choices and standing by them, even if it meant clashing with Yugo himself.

"You really are serious, aren't you?" Yugo asked without breaking eye contact.

"Yes, I am, and I'm ready to face the consequences." Kenji replied in kind.

"Well, I think you already know the answer."

"I figured you'd say no, but I'm patient. Don't think I'll give up so easily."

At this, Yugo broke eye contact and let out a deep, annoyed sigh. "Okay, whatever. I need some fresh air, gonna take a walk."

Shortly thereafter, Yugo decided he could use some therapy to help deal with the situation.