Paradise lost, Paradise found

 

Chit didn´t know if he should been happy or not.

It was always a war of tugs from one side to the other, one moment happy and in the next sad.

Mostly the sad sight had more weight.

How could he not be sad. If they didn´t make him dance around or do other tricks he sat in this cage. At least he was able to listen to the mer and learn their language, even when he wasn´t able to talk any longer and the mer seemed to have forgotten about it, or maybe disinterested.

Was there something more important?

Still he craved some...affection.

He felt bad that he had to do all those things to get some praise and pats on the head.

This was what he missed most with beeing away from the trees...they were a very affectionate lot, always touching, cuddling, beeing near each other.



Here...here he starved. But he couldn´t give up..they gave him new challenges and when he made it, there was ...they were nice for a while.

He was even allowed outside for a bit. Not on the grass but on the balcony as they called it. He had fresh air and the wind and could watch the other people there wandering around, wondering if he could be one of them one day.



Crying was wrong, terrible wrong. He had no idea how they had done it, but it burned through his body whenever he had made a wrong sound, one they disliked and so he lay silent in his cage.

If he was good they would let him out again, wouldn´t they?





It had been so scary one day...they had taken him out and washed him before they had put that strange clothing on him.

He had been lead into a big room and so many mer.

They had laughed so he hoped they would not hurt him..laughing was good.





..but it didn´t feel good. Their laugh was wrong, it hurt..like when his nestmother had scolded him, only worse, so much worse.





He had learned what the words and handsigns had meant and had done what he had been more or less forced to learn. Jumping around, dancing and whistling, he still had a hard time to use the part of his hindlegs for walking without stumbling. But fearing the crop had made sure of it that he didn´t make important errors that would have lead to pain...more pain than the one he was in.

It was a constant ache, bodily and emotionally.





After that he was taken out of his cage ..twice in one week? He tried to tell the time but with most of his own time beeing awake, trained or beeing stored away in his cage,it was hard to keep track of the time when there was no sky, no natural light.



__________________________________



Auratan started to worry that the lizard wasted away.

It often happened with wild caught creatures, if they were kept in a more natural environment, kept close to the one they had been taken from, they lasted longer.

Some even could be breed, but there was none like his lizard...at least for now.

He doubted he could get money from the nobles just to try and catch another individual like the one he had.





A decision was made, he would try and show off his trainable pet lizard to get some more nobles interested in his work and after that he would see to it that the argonian would be put in a more suitable environment with the hope that it might survive further and he could breed it.

If he couldn´t find another one of the same species,maybe he could cross it with one of the brutish lizards they had working in the mines or the arena.



Tapping his quill against the table he still watched the sleeping wizard while his mind ran through the possibilities and things that needed to be done.

That also included to look through the available Argonians and decide which one would be best suited for his purposes, scribbling down a note and sending it off with a spiritbird so he could have that done as soon as possible together with the beastmaster he had hired.

Caenborn would be able to tell him if the stock was fit enough.







___________________________________________







Ceyatatar



Shadow of the Fatherwoods, the outer beauty not betraying the darker and deprived nature of the nobles that held their hand over the city.

Not that there weren´t other settlements with noble rulers that were just as twisted or worse.



A perfect structure, the walls and streets and elevated roads vectored in such a way it reflected the stars above that had been picked exclusively for the city, to bring riches and beauty.

Was there anything more beautiful than reflecting the nightsky?

Circular towers with starlightgems in the places on earth, where the glowing orbs would be at night in the sky, the main tower built on the center of power to feed the stones and other magical mechanism of the cities, including this one.





_______________________



Another night, another round of tricks. He had felt ill the last weeks, sometimes worse, than better again. If Auratan saw himas too ill they shoved even more stinky fish at him and no treats...no fruits. So he tried to act more vital than he felt.

He hated how they stared at him, some had a gleam in their eyes as if they wanted to devour him, but mostly it meant trouble.



He didn´t want that any longer, it had long since lost any appeal even when it meant that he was kept painfree. If they hadn´t shut his mouth he long since would have bitten one of them, those who touched him, petted him, tugged at the tuft of feathers on his head.



He didn´t care that their hands offered treats, not any longer. He only followed their words and gestures because he didn´t want to die in pain and if the incident with the mage had teached him one thing, that was...he wasn´t save, never. The smallest thing to rile them up against him, making them angry meant punishment beyond any reason..





His feet and hands hurt again from the dancing and the clothes they had draped him in were itchy and ..why didn´t they wear any of that stuff.Only he had to wear it to look funny for them, to amuse them.

At this night it dawned to him that no one really cared about him. It didn´t matter that he made them laugh, that he tried to please them.

His belief that they would care for him and like him beyond his purpose they saw in him, crumbled that night.



He sat on his pillow, this night he hadn´t looked around, hadn´t wanted to see their faces and see if he had pleased them, it made no difference, it would never.

He just had performed and sat down on his pillow while the feast went on, there were other dancers and musicians and even others like him..pets.



Only those were mostly still caged because even he could tell that they were really wild. Big cats..one one spotted sleek looking one lounged at the feet of his, or her owner,a silver chain on a silver collar and beeing feed by hand. If this creature was loved by the one whom it belonged to?



He curled into himself and tried to sleep until he would be called on again. The big animals in chains scared him a bit, but the thought that they would eat the mer there if they broke out and turned against their cagemasters amused him enough so he could take a nap.



Footsteps woke him, the measured, slower one of the big mer but there were also fast ones, uneven. Puzzled he looked up, there were miniature mer with the big ones.

Never before had he seen them bringing their offspring. Some not much bigger than he himself.





What the Argonian didn´t know that it was a small festivity for the children of the nobles.

At a certain age it was time for the first rites, every one of them had to choose a beast,the more dangerous the animal was, the better.



Sure, the children could not tame the animals, they served a purpose and for this they had to be choosen by their child, to stay in contact with it to be influenced by magic for the rite when they were named adults.But that was a long time in the future for the small mer.



The Argonian was not part of the ceremony,he was not chained next to them for the choosing.

But one little mer thought otherwise, he didn´t like the big scary beasts. They looked unfriendly and agressive at him and he was...different to his bretheren.

His classmates had it easy to choose, some even riled the animals up and laughed when a roar or growl sounded and the cages rattled, knowing that they would be safe from the wild beasts.



"I want her" he had ran right over to the small lizard that had curled up again, made himself as flat as possible to hide from the mer that stormed over at him...any mer was scary, especially if their attention was on him.



At first the argonian got ready for whatever might have come.

But the lizard wasn´t prepared for the white haired, olive skinned child to crouch down and pet him.

And not in the way the other mer had done it, rough, tugging,mocking.

Puzzled the lizard looked up into orange eyes as the small hand caressed his feathers, scratched lightly over scales and soon two hands laid on his cheeks, rubbing while the small mer giggled

"I want you..."

But the big mer came over and the lizard twitched back, cowering

"My lordship, this beast isn´t here for the ceremony. It was brought here as entertainment and can not be choosen. Wouldn´t you rather choose one of the cats, or there is also a bear and we could bring in the birds of prey if those would be more to your liking.

"But I want her, she is here and I want here" the little lord complained, pouting.







"If she wasn´t here for the choosing why was she here, you said I could choose everything I wanted" the mer cried at his father who had been called over to avert his sons attention.

"Just look at it, it is small and weak, not fit for a future lord and warrior"

The Argonian was quite confused and scared, so much commonition because of him and the big mer looked angry, stared down at him and he could only cower down in fear.

"Either you choose now something else or I will have that thing skinned and quartered"

"My lordship, please..it is the only individual I could obtain from my expedition.."

Auratan, the scholar pleaded now, he couldn´t have the lizard killed.

"So no killing the beast, but I will make it and my son wish I had done so if he doesn´t take an other beast as his..now choose" eyes blazing at the small mer who had balled his hands into fists and glowered angrily up at his father with wet eyes.

To him it had been a promise that he could choose anything he wanted and now he had done so and should take a different beast for him to own.





As the boy still stood deviant, the father had lifted his hand and angry words had left his mouth which made the lizard convulse and screech in agony,blood running from his snout as the metal that kept his snout shut, dug deeper into the tissue as the pain the magic caused him, wanting him to open his mouth wide to scream the fire away that burnt his nerves.



"I choose, I choose father, make it stop!" the child wailed to be heard over the screams of the lizard. As a bitter lesson for the small child, his father held the spell further.

"Than choose and I will let go"

So the child ran, looked for a beast that hadn´t been choosen already and pointed at the sabertooth cat. It was the biggest one and the most scary looking...and the spell was lifted, the lizard went limp, boneless as the pain had stopped and didn´t dare to move.

Why was there always pain for him...





The small boy choked back his tears, it wouldn´t do to look weak in front of his lord father, waiting there with balled fists until his father had gone with the other Lord and Ladies and their offspring and he was left behind.

His father would think he needed time to calm down and..most likely didn´t want to look at his son for the moment.

"I am so sorry Cyriel, I would have choosen you..you look much nicer than the others, why must my father always ruin it for me?" he knew his father would think the same, that his son had it ruined for him, choosing something unsatisfying and talking back to his Lord Father.

He kneeled down at the lizard he had wanted as his own, petting it with a light hand and healing the wounds, even when he didn´t know how those had happened, the little mer just sent his symphaty and his own heartpain through his magic which healed the animal.



"When I am old enough I will take you, when my father can not do anything against it..I am sorry that he hurt you" he lifted his hands, seeing the blood and pondered something before he wiped his bloodied hands on the formerly pristine, white cloth he wore, opening the clasp of his wristband and closing it around the wrist of the lizard.

"My promise"



Than the young Lord ran before he would have been called, searching for the others wile the lizard lay there, still dazed from the pain and the strange things that had happene afterwards.

He still felt pain, but his head was clear of it and he was more sad than before, because...had this been real, that there had been someone who liked him without any tricks, without him beeing useful for the other, just because...

Yes, it had brought real agony, worse than the hits he had endured as punishment or during his training, but that had been as good as forgotten when the small mer..he hadn´t understood all the words, but the emotion behind it and that the youngling had eased his hurt..



...why were there no other ones who liked him just because he was?



The young Argonian cried, more so than ever before, hurt deepened but he was no longer numb, a glimmer of hope had come that night