Chapter Nine: Severed Bonds
Garnet, Eleanor and Nugget had jumped immediately into the fray, aiding the fatigued Cousland men. Ser Gilmore's blade clattered to the floor as his opponent struck against him with a thunderous body slam. Krista ran towards her redheaded friend with the family sword drawn. As the knight kicked his opponent away from his body, Krista ran her blade through the Howe soldier, clenching her eyes tightly together at the solid impact on the heavy sword. She pulled the metal out of the man and opened her eyes to see Ser Gilmore gaping at her, his mouth hanging open.
"M-My lady! You're all right!" he proclaimed happily as she lowered her weapon and threw her arms around him. She closed her eyes, feeling as though she would wake up at any moment from this nightmare, like Ser Gilmore could allay her fears and make it all just disappear, just like she had thought her mother could.
"I was about to say the same to you," she responded with a sad smirk, a few tears escaping from beneath her eyelids. "Lady parts and everything..."
He was overjoyed to see her unharmed. Had he not been fighting to keep Howe's men from advancing, every second of this morning would have been spent saving her from this madness. He stroked her hair lightly as he tried to ignore the feelings surfacing in his mind. He saw an enemy turning towards them after slaying a Cousland guard. Ser Gilmore's eyes went wide with panic as he pushed into her with his body, tumbling along the floor to shield her from the incoming attack
Krista felt his grip tighten as he thrust his body against hers, pulling her down to the floor in a rough embrace. The thought of him being so forward with his desire made her feel flustered, confused and a little aroused, as much as she tried to fight it. The knight flipped her onto her back and pinned her with his weight as he grabbed the sword from her now limp hand. He sat upon his knees as he raised his arms and sliced clean through their attacker's stomach, splattering blood all over their bodies. Krista watched as the other Howe soldiers fell around them in bewilderment. The good knight looked down upon her with an extremely compunctious expression as he straddled her. He expected a punch, a kick and an angry profanity to be told by the woman, but she simply stared wondrously and breathlessly as he rose to his feet.
She felt an overwhelming urge to show him her gratitude, to wrap her lips around his and become lost in his prowess like she used to. She remembered the night she spent in his arms, his warmth surrounding her. The knight's scent wafted into her nostrils and it brought her back to those days of impulse and heroic desire. He extended a palm and helped her to her feet as everyone gathered around, breaking her memory in mid-daydream.
"Forgive me for my brashness, Krista. It was to save you," he apologized quickly. His focus shifted to the remainder of the Cousland guards and pointed at the barred main door. "Go! Man the gates! Keep those bastards out as long as you can!"
The three surviving and limping guards ran as fast as they could towards the door, which was beginning to rock with extreme movement from the other side. They held their bodies against the door and pushed to keep it shut.
"I'm so glad you're both alive," he told the two women in a distressed tone. "I was certain Howe's men had gotten through. I would never have forgiven myself if-"
"Rory, they
did get through," Krista sobbed as she thought of her nephew and sister-in-law lying in a pool of mixed blood in Fergus' room.
"I'm sorry. I should have reacted sooner. When I realized what was happening, it was too late. They had already marched through the main gate. They seemed menacing as they were coming into the courtyard, but I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. It was only when they drew their blades that I could understand what they came to do. They killed so many guards... Sealing off this room was all we could do to keep them out. There are fires and rubble acting as a barricade on both sides, but they won't last for long. And this door is breaking with each moment that passes. We don't have much time left, I fear," Ser Gilmore said sadly as he looked at the Teyrna.
"No one saw this coming, Roland," Eleanor stated reassuringly.
The knight shook his head. "I was on watch. I'm sorry I've failed you, my ladyship. If you've another way out of the castle, I suggest you use it quickly."
"No, we need to find my father," Krista said hotly, unable to hide the fear and anxiety in her voice. Garnet put a palm on her shoulder to comfort her and Ser Gilmore noted it mentally; he acted as though it did not bother him outwardly, however.
"When I... last saw the Teyrn...he'd been badly wounded. I urged him not to go, but he was determined to find you," the knight responded dismally. "Howe, he... I'm sorry. I won't subject you to the details of this. He went towards the kitchen. I believe he thought to find you at the servants' exit in the larder."
"Come with us," Krista commanded in a stern voice as she shook free of Garnet's hand.
"I cannot do that. I must stay to hold off the rest of the Arl's men so that you can get out of here," he argued firmly.
"No!" the young woman shrieked in response. "You
can't! You said yourself they're going to get through! So stop being an idiot and let's go!"
She grabbed his hand and tried to lead him out, but his legs stood in place like stone. His eyes were dripping with sadness but his face was set in a stoic mask as she turned to face him with guilt and anger.
"Come on!" she yelled frantically, not caring to stop the tears from falling furiously against her heated cheeks. She pulled at his arms hard but he still did not move.
"If I go, then they will get through before you can get out. I cannot go. I'm sorry, but I have to disobey your orders this time. The men need me here," he replied. "Now hurry. I will do everything I can to keep them from you."
"Bless you Ser Gilmore," Eleanor stated with a fatigued understanding of what the knight was sacrificing for them. "Krista, he's right. We must find your father and escape while we have the chance."
Her mother tried to grab her arms and pull her but Krista planted her feet down stubbornly and crossed her arms, glaring at the knight, her childhood friend and teenage hero. Garnet stepped back with a sudden understanding, not wanting to interfere with the past that bound the two people before him together. He slowly walked towards the second side entrance and slipped into the shadows, waiting patiently and cautiously for the rest of them. Nugget watched the man inquisitively, but stayed by his mistress's side.
"I'm not leaving without you," Krista rasped. Her eyebrows were furrowed in anger. She didn't want to cry in front of him, but the salty tears kept coming. Her voice betrayed her feelings for the man, even if the tears could somehow be hidden.
"You
must," he pleaded desperately. "If my being here will give you just an extra second, it could be the second you need to get away. And I will gladly give my life for that, to know you are safe."
His eyes locked onto hers and she felt the frustrated tears build in her eyes. She refused to let them fall. She didn't want him to see them. She shook her head as she closed her eyes, releasing the water trapped beneath them as she let an audible sob escape her throat. Her shoulders were visibly shaking and her bottom lip quivered in disbelief.
"No... I won't let you!" she screamed in a much higher pitch than her regular tone. "You
can't! I..." More tears came as her face grew red and her nostrils swelled with rage and despair. She pulled him into an embrace, whimpering into his shoulder and whispering swiftly into his ear in her panicked high-pitched voice.
She felt her heart pull against her ribs painfully as she clung to him, whispering her feelings into his ear from long ago. She felt his breath wane as he let a single choked sob escape from deep within his vocal chords.
"You had to make this harder..." he seethed through clenched teeth.
His arms closed around her and beneath the shield on her back. He whispered back to her as he stroked the disheveled strands of hair around her face. The Teyrna watched as the two spoke privately to one another; she knew everything about the two of them and yet she also felt -looking at them now- that she didn't know them at all. She had always thought that Nathaniel had held her daughter's heart firmly and no one could take his place, but it would seem that Krista did not actually conceal her heart as much as she might have everyone believe. She took secret chances on love, chances she never spoke of publicly –and that made it all the more enchanting to watch her daughter interact in such a way.
She knew her daughter had so much love to give underneath it all and she could now see that Krista never stood sure of what she felt for the knight until his life dangled on a thin string in front of her. She had begun to fall for him and, as parents, Eleanor and Bryce refused to acknowledge it as anything serious. She always pushed for something better for her daughter. But Krista cared about the person inside, not the rank the man held, which was a truly honorable trait. Here, she had fallen in love with Nathaniel Howe, the broody, temperamental, older noble outcast son of the Arl –who happened to be a gentleman underneath that tough exterior. Then it was Ser Roland Gilmore, the knight with a heart of gold, but the rank of a nameless soldier, just another protector of the family. Now it was Fergus's friend Garnet, a low ranking merchant with the manners of a respectable gentleman. The Teyrna just watched as the two exchanged tearful and frustrated words amongst each other, her daughter's face stained with blood, tears, and smeared makeup. She didn't need to hear to now what was being said. It broke her heart to watch them pour out their feelings to one another.
Ser Gilmore's mask had broken the moment she began whispering long buried words to him and he held her close, remembering the smell, the feel, and the beauty she held both inside and out. When they both forced themselves to stand back, Krista felt the despair in her chest grow as she looked upon his face. His nose was just as red and inflamed as hers, his eyes welling with restrained tears and then releasing them in hopelessness. None of this was fair: She felt the words in his face, in his scarlet cheeks and puffed eyes, in his frown and in his flared nostrils; she felt it emanating from him and she was sure he could feel her reciprocating that fact.
Before she could stop the depressed swell in her heart from making the decision, she leaned into him and kissed his lips, the anger steaming from them. She could not change his sacrifice, no matter how much she wanted to. His lips parted for her tongue to join against his, but he did not intrude into the confines of her mouth out of respect for their last moments together. He held her hair between his fingers gently and pushed lightly against her back. The passion of the kiss was not of lust or love, but of fierceness and grief of the bitter truth. They would never meet again.
They parted and he kissed her cheek one last time before placing the Cousland family sword into her hand. He looked into the shadows, meeting the eyes of the man who had tried to disappear.
"Take care of her." The volume of the knight's voice was barely above a low whisper.
There was nothing more to be said and everyone could see that, but it did not stop the countless tears. Nugget nudged his mistress's hand affectionately to try and console her.
"Maker watch over you, Roland Gilmore," Eleanor said, taking her sobbing daughter into her arms.
"Maker watch over us all," he breathed heavily as he ran towards the buckling door with the three remaining soldiers. His voice boomed as he boosted the men's morale, "
Let us defend the Teyrn of Highever and his family, men! If we die, we die like heroes, defending the honor of Castle Cousland!"
Krista let her mother drag her from the room towards the man in the shadows. She dared to look back at him when he used the word "heroes," knowing that he truly was one. Their eyes locked only for a moment before he tore his away and concentrated on forcing his weight against the breaking door. She felt the shadows embracing her as she stepped through the doorway. Garnet's strong arms were around her, helping her cope with this hell in the tiniest way.
"I'm sorry," he said, releasing her, knowing that was all he needed to say.
She nodded appreciatively as he took up the lead in their group again. They reached the kitchen without finding any living soldiers, but heard the screams of Howe's army in the courtyard echoing in the night. As they rushed towards the larder where Nugget and Ser Gilmore had killed giant rats yesterday, Krista heard the grunts and sputtering of her father's voice, sounding as though he might be choking. He was on the floor next to the exit, looking up at them from the pool of blood he was laying in. Krista looked upon him, horrified by the sheer amount of dark liquid pouring out of him. He was trying to keep pressure on the wound, but was clearly failing. He looked so incredibly pale and fragile before her eyes. Tears flowed without resistance down her cheeks, just when she thought she was done crying. He was covered in his own blood and spatters lined his formal clothes.
"There... you both are..." he managed to groan weakly. He fell forward, hunching miserably in pain. "I was... wondering when you would get here." His words fell silent as the trauma of blood loss began to take him over. Krista ran to him and hovered over, only hopelessly trying to figure out how to stop the bleeding.
"Bryce!" Eleanor gasped, running to his aid. "Maker's blood, what's happening? You're bleeding!"
"Howe and his men... found me first. Almost... did me in right there," he breathed jaggedly.
"I-I-I... I..." Krista tried in vain to articulate a thought. "We... We have to get you out of here!"
"I... I won't survive the standing, I think," her father responded sadly, shaking his head, his voice cracking as if he was about to cry.
The words tore at her heart with vigorous agony. She was sure that this had to be a nightmare now. She pinched her arms hard to try and wake herself. Nothing changed except for a minor ache growing in her arms; it paled in comparison to the hurting in her heart. Garnet put his hands to his mouth, stifling a sob as the two women tried to restrain their tears and failed. Nugget snuggled next to Bryce and began licking the blood off his face. Krista called her hound to her, falling to her knees.
"Then we're staying to defend you, dad. I won't let them touch you!" Her voice came out broken.
"Once Howe's men break through the gate, they will find us. We must go!" the Teyrna reasoned with her husband. She was not going to leave him behind either.
Bryce Cousland narrowed his eyes. "Someone... must reach Fergus... tell him what has happened. But I cannot."
"Bryce, no!" Eleanor refused to give up and she indicated the hatch in the floor he was laing next to. "The servants' passage is right here! We can flee together, find you healing magic!"
Her mother always had a knack for making the best of the worst situations. Krista found hope brewing in her stomach. She stood and paced back and forth, attempting to formulate a plan.
"The castle... is surrounded... I cannot make it," he whispered with his own tears falling now as he looked upon his wife.
"I'm afraid the Teyrn is correct. Howe's men have not yet discovered this exit, but they surround the castle. Getting past will be difficult," came the voice of the man Krista had met yesterday morning. Duncan. She had completely forgotten about him. As he approached them, he sheathed his sword and was covered in the same dark blood Bryce was losing. The Grey Warden was covered in even more blood than her father however. He seemingly bathed in the liquid. She stifled an urge to vomit as she looked around. There was blood everywhere she looked. There was no escape from it. Garnet steadied her as she began to sway left and right with wooziness. Everything began to hit her at once, though she knew it was too early to do this. She could feel anxiety and panic washing over her, droning out everything else. Garnet watched concernedly as her eyes grew distant and hear breath quickened.
"You are... Duncan, then? The Grey Warden?" Eleanor inquired at the stranger's presence.
"Yes, your Ladyship. The Teyrn and I tried to reach you sooner," Duncan explained.
"My daughter helped me get here along with the help of Fergus's friend, Garnet," she responded as she gave the pair a quick look. Worry became apparent in her face as Krista began hyperventilating. The young Cousland's eyes darted around the room, feeling as though the walls were closing in and the oxygen was fading from existence in this room. Couldn't everyone feel that? Garnet cupped her chin, forcing her eyes to focus for a moment.
"Hey..." Garnet rubbed her shoulders softly. "Shh... it's okay, Krista. Look at me. Look at me."
Her panicked eyes snapped to his wide worried ones.
"Breathe," he cooed as he squeezed her shoulder gently. He took a deep breath and encouraged her to do the same. She copied his slowed breathing and found herself coping as she looked around at everyone. She realized all eyes were on her in her new friend's arms.
"I... I'm sorry. I can handle everything until we're safe, I promise. I can wait to grieve," she explained sheepishly, though she wasn't certain she could. "Duncan, thank you for saving my father."
"I fear your thanks are premature," Duncan said sadly as he looked upon the wounded Teyrn. "I doubt I have saved him."
"They're coming!" Eleanor said quickly as they all listened to the door down in the antechamber burst open and bustle with the sounds of combat and screams. Krista jumped and shivered in Garnet's arms, thinking of the poor knight drawing his last breath for her sake. It infuriated her that she could do nothing.
"Duncan... you are under no obligation to me, but I beg you... take my wife and daughter to safety," Bryce pleaded as he looked at the Grey Warden with sad eyes.
"I will, your Lordship. But... I fear I must ask for something in return-"
"Anything!" he agreed desperately.
"What's happening here pales in comparison to the evil now loose in this world. I came to your castle seeking a new recruit. The darkspawn threat demands that I leave with one," Duncan replied firmly.
"I... I understand," Bryce said, defeated.
"But... Ser Gilmore!" Krista shouted angrily, the tears now burning and stinging her eyes.
"You said you were better earlier, Pup," the Teyrn interjected, weakly poking fun at her. "What has changed that? You are very capable... You know that..."
Duncan nodded. "Truthfully, you were always my first choice." He turned his attention to the dying man. "I will take the Teyrna and Krista to Ostagar to tell Fergus and the king what happened. Then, your daughter will join the Grey Wardens."
"So long as justice comes to Howe... I agree," Bryce said reluctantly, looking up at the man with begging in his eyes.
"I offer you a place within the Grey Wardens, Krista. Fight with us," Duncan told her.
"I can't," she responded emptily. "I can't leave you here! I won't!"
"You must do this, Pup. You cannot allow Howe to get away with this!" Bryce rasped from the floor, Eleanor now holding him close to her. "You will not die of Howe's treachery. Go and live, make your mark on this world!"
"Darling..." Eleanor said to Krista in her motherly tone, "Go with Duncan. You have a better chance to escape without me."
The pit in Krista's stomach tightened. She wanted to vomit. She wanted to die. Her legs buckled from beneath her and Garnet caught her with a grunt.
"Eleanor..." Bryce chided her softly, as surprised by her words as his daughter was.
"Hush, Bryce. I'll kill every bastard that comes through that door to buy them time. But I won't abandon you," she stated. She had made up her mind and no one was changing it. She looked at her daughter. "My place is with your father. At his side, to death and beyond."
"No... No, no, no, no, no!" Krista screamed, finding the strength in her legs to stand. Her temper flared uncontrollably. "I won't let you both do this! We'll find another way. We can fight! I'm tired of people sacrificing themselves for me! Can't you see how horrible this is? Don't let Howe win! I'll kill them all!
Everyone! Just... just don't leave me!"
"You will ignore the wishes of your dying father?" Bryce asked, looking at her with hurt and fury in his eyes. Her heart broke before him and she shook her head vigorously, feeling like she had been slapped in the face.
"No! You won't die!" she tried to assure herself as a barrage of tears rolled off her chin and to the floor. "I'll stay...! I-I-I-I'll... p-protect you... I pr-omise..." She took a deep breath, trying to continue through chattering teeth and a tight throat. She sniffled, unable to stop the lump in her throat from obstructing her words. "I will
save you... I-I..." The tears were so strong but she wouldn't deter, "...won't let you die... Dad... Mom..." She sobbed uncontrollably as she fell to her knees. "It can't end like this...!"
"Don't be foolish, Krista. Your anger is clouding your judgment," her mother snorted as he expression softened. "Your hands were never meant to be bloody. But, now we cannot shield you from it. You have to go with the Grey Warden, my darling girl. It's not over for you. You have to live."
Krista cried, shaking her head and mouthing the words, but unable to say them. "I can't..."
"I'm... so sorry it's come to this, my love..." Bryce cringed as blood rushed from his wound again. Eleanor pulled him close as he whimpered into her chest.
"We had a good life and did all that we could. It's up to our children, now," she said reassuringly and lovingly.
"Howe thinks... He thinks he'll use the chaos... to advance himself... Make him wrong, Pup. See that justice is done! Our family... always does our duty first. The darkspawn must be defeated. You must go, for your own sake, and for Ferelden's. Warn your brother..." he wheezed. "And know that we love you both. You do us proud," Bryce told her with care as he gave her the fatherly look she always loved.
"I'll... I will do this for you. I love you both so much," the young Cousland managed to state clear enough to emphasize each word. "Is this all I can do?... I'm sorry..."
All was quiet in the room save for her sobbing and shuddered breathing. Everyone's heartstrings were pulled and wrenched, but there was nothing that could be done.
"Is this really goodbye...?" the girl asked, shaking her head and swallowing her tears again. "It can't be... There's so much we still need to do together..."
The shouts of men could be heard busting through the door down the hall again.
"They've gotten through! We must go! Now!" Duncan shouted as she shied away from his reach.
Garnet kissed her forehead. "Go, Krista. You have to. I'll stay to protect them for you. I promise. I won't let anyone touch them."
"Not you, too!... I can't lose everyone," she retorted, her stomach burning with rage again. She snapped back into her trance, not wanting to leave everyone with this problem while she ran. Nugget nudged her hand defiantly. "I'm not going! I have to defend them. They'll all die before I let them take anyone else! Never! Never again!"
"Then you leave me no choice. I am sorry, Krista. I hereby invoke the Right of Conscription and recruit you into the Grey Wardens," Duncan stated plainly. "You are to come with me. Now."
"What? You can't do that! I... I'm not...!" she argued, reaching for her blade to ready herself for battle.
"Garnet! She will not leave us willingly. You have to take her to safety!" Eleanor pleaded.
"You have to go with him, now!" Garnet hissed, hearing the battles from down the hall.
"I'll kill every last one of them! They took my friends, my family, my memories! I won't let them
touch anyone else! Howe will regret this day!" the young rogue screeched maniacally. She cried loudly and her voice broke pitifully. "I won't let him win!"
Bryce looked at Garnet gravely, understanding his daughter was well beyond reason. "Get her out, please. Tell her... I love her when she awakens and that..." He choked on blood and coughed it onto his wife's armor. "...we are so proud of what she has come to be..."
Garnet bit his lower lip and embraced her from behind before she had the chance to grab her sword. He spun her around quickly and stared into her eyes with a fierceness she could not explain nor ignore. Those cerulean eyes drew her in.
"I'm sorry I have to use this against you, love. You can hate me forever if you want." He crushed his lips against hers in a wild and passionate kiss. He gripped the back of her head forcefully as if this was both his first and last intimate moment with the woman. He pressed their bodies together and held her close and safe with his arms. She found herself lost in his intensity, unable to fight away her feelings this time. Their tongues began to battle one another with fervency and undeniable desire. Using the distraction to his advantage, he jabbed his fingertips quickly into a soft point on the back of her head where his hand had been resting innocently seconds before. Her body fell into him immediately and he grunted as her weaponry poked a few holes into his midriff. She was heavy with all the equipment as opposed to the last time they were together like this. He struggled to move as he picked her up. He laid her down and stripped the artillery from her back. His eyes caught the Teyrn's only for a moment and he saw approval within them, though he also saw pain and fear residing there.
He tossed her swords and shield to Duncan quickly and swept her unconscious body into his arms with much greater ease. Duncan opened the trap door as Nugget ran down the steps.
"She'll do wonderful as a Warden," Garnet assured them as he descended the stairs. "I promise you both, she'll always be protected."
Her parents nodded as they shut the door and locked it behind the escapees. As Duncan began running, he made sure the man holding the Cousland girl could keep up. While his quickest running speed was slowed by half, Garnet was able to move rather swiftly through the chambers below the castle. He had to get her to the safety of Ostagar. Whether or not he survived the journey himself did not matter.
