Crossing the River

Jordan was sitting at his desk writing, and barely heard the door open. He finished the line he was composing before he looked up. Kaidan was sitting on the couch, watching him curiously.
"I just wanted to thank you, for taking care of me the other day. I’m sure I was a bit of a nightmare."
"It was nothing," Jordan assured him but continued writing.
"Am I bothering you, Shepard?" he asked politely.
"Not at all," Jordan confessed. "I probably won’t even remember you’re here in a few minutes." He looked down at the line he had just worked out, and decided to change a few bars in the middle. His mind played the song as he had written it down, and compared it to what he had meant for it to sound like. He frowned, and went back to the beginning, trying to figure out where he had gone wrong.
"Is that a pen? And real paper?"
"Hm? Yeah, I can’t write music on a datapad." Jordan stared at the notebook, unable to hear the music properly. Some part of him knew that Kaidan was standing, fascinated, by the desk, watching him write. The rest of him was completely oblivious to Kaidan’s presence, and was absorbed in the process of creation, of perfection. Jordan leaned back, opened the closet and pulled out the guitar without taking his eyes away from the notebook. He knew he wasn’t going to get this right without hearing it out loud.
It wasn’t until he began to play that he remembered that Kaidan was in the room.
"That’s … that’s Mei. You’re… Jordan T. How did I not notice that before?"
Jordan blushed and continued to play, trying to work out the kinks of the new song he was trying to write. As always, having the instrument in his hands made it easier, and he could see where he had written down a mistake. He fixed it, then went back to the beginning and began to play the song all over again. He had again forgotten that anyone else was in the room, when he was suddenly reminded of it by a very warm mouth on his, and warm hands on the side of his face, pulling him close for a kiss that seemed to go on forever.
For the first time since his grandfather had given him the fabled Gibson, Jordan felt that the guitar was in the way. He put it down, and stood up so that he could continue kissing Kaidan. It wasn’t really that different from kissing a woman. Less softness, perhaps. Fewer curves. Jordan’s hands were on Kaidan’s hips; Kaidan’s were on Jordan’s face. They had to stop to breathe, leaned against each other, panting helplessly.
Kaidan dropped his head, and would have pulled away but Jordan held him close.
"What’s wrong?"
"I … I just shouldn’t have jumped you like that, that’s all."
"If you hadn’t, this probably would never have happened." Jordan grinned with embarrassment. "Not only am I completely oblivious, I’ve never done this with another guy before."
Kaidan looked up at him, "You know, that explains a lot."
Soft, warm, dark eyes. Jordan leaned in to kiss him again. Much more fun than talking. He pulled Kaidan’s shirt a little, so he could slide his hands under, touch the skin there. "No wonder you like to keep the room so cold," he whispered between a few burning kisses. "You’re like a furnace."
Kaidan laughed, kissed him again, leaving Jordan breathless.
"Why didn’t I do this earlier?" Jordan asked himself, completely forgetting that he was speaking aloud. Kaidan laughed again, pleased and amused. Jordan cut his amusement short by kissing him again, running his hands over the muscles of his back, holding Kaidan as close as he dared. He was a little nervous – he couldn’t plan what to do next, as he had no idea what he was doing. He just knew that holding Kaidan like this, kissing him, was absolutely wonderful.
"I was wondering that myself," Kaidan murmured. "Come here, let’s sit down." Kaidan led him to the couch. He would have sat, but Jordan pushed him back under a rain of insistent kisses, until Kaidan was lying on the couch with Jordan over him, their bodies tangled together. "What do you want from me, Shepard?" Kaidan asked softly.
"I have no idea," Jordan mused. "What are my choices? What do you want?"
Kaidan laughed. "We’ll start slow. I can see a lot of explanations will have to happen before this will work right."
Jordan sighed. "You’re not going to make me look at diagrams and pie charts, are you?"
"No, this will be strictly physical demonstrations."
"So why can’t we start now?"
"Well, for one thing," Kaidan grinned, "neither of us locked the door, and I can hear Liara and Ashley giggling outside."
Jordan muttered something uncomplimentary under his breath, making Kaidan laugh again until Jordan quieted him with another wild kiss.
"So… what was that song you were playing?" Kaidan asked when Jordan stopped to breathe.
"Something new I was trying to get right." He kissed Kaidan’s ear, whispered the lyrics that had been giving him so much trouble. "Warm, dark eyes, all I can see. Wishing, wondering, dark eyes – can it be? Tell me, are those dark eyes dreaming, are they dreaming of me?"