Caranwyn's Tale: In Defence of Middle Earth

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Words of Courage

It was a quietly elated silence that surrounded the girls as they walked back across the courtyard towards the seventh gate with their guard.  He had greeted them with a soft smile and a salute as the Door-wardens let them out, and then invited, rather than instructed, them both to walk with him back to the gate.  When at last they stood outside the great gates again they turned to face him.  He saluted again and they returned the gesture.

“Caranwyn and Russellwen, proud daughters of Gondor.  Depart now and take this day in rest and ease, for tomorrow your duty shall begin.”  With a final inclination of his head, he turned and passed through the gates again, the morning’s formalities finally at an end.  The girls looked at each other, grinning and on the verge of laughter, but not sure what to say.  After a moment Caranwyn took one of her sister’s hands and they started away from the gates, heading back down the city.  She spoke as they began to descend the sloping path.

“Well, first of all I propose that we head home and change out of all this formal armour.  We’ve got the day off after all.  We can decide what to do with it after that.”  Russellwen nodded, and her smile became a sly grin.

“Our last day as children, I suppose…  Race you there?”  She laughed, but broke into a run without waiting for the answer.  Caranwyn was alongside her from the beginning, years of such races teaching them both that the question was always rhetorical.

They darted down through the levels, avoiding the people that they passed in the streets, many of whom had long since become accustomed to the sight of the pair racing through the streets.  Caranwyn found herself wondering if it would be the last time they would chase each other like this.  Russellwen was right in that they would be officially considered adults now, and expected to behave as such.  Even so, it was really more of a formality; many of the youths of the city, themselves included, had been taking on duties and work, informally, for some time before their formal swearing, and they hadn’t truly been treated like children for several years.  It still stuck in her mind though, even as she chased her sister through the streets, laughing.

By the time they reached their home, both girls were more than slightly out of breath and they ducked through to their bedroom to begin changing out of the formal attire.  Russellwen wiped a hand over her brow after she had unbuckled her breastplate and set it aside neatly.

“I was so scared when he started talking about ordering me go back to the healing houses.  Do you think he really might have?  Or was it just to see how I’d react?”  Caranwyn bit her lip for a moment, thinking as she slipped out of her plate and scale piece by piece.

“I think our Lord Denethor knew exactly how the morning was going to go, not just for us, but for everyone who swore today, long before we set foot inside the Citadel.  I think today was more about testing our character, and resolve, than actually learning about us, or deciding anything.”  She began to unbuckle the fabric doublet that went with the armour, folding it twice before setting it down and opening their small clothing cabinet to pull out other, more comfortable clothing. 

Passing a fresh shirt to Russellwen, she stretched, then shifted her breast bindings with one hand, resettling them.  Russellwen set the shirt beside her on the bed as she unlaced the leather hose that went under the leg armour and slipped them off.

“I know, but…”  She shook her head, looking down slightly.  “I got so flustered about it, and he saw how distressed I was.  I shouldn’t have let that happen.”  Caranwyn raised an eyebrow at her as she laced up her shirt.

“I think he would have been more likely to consider it if you hadn’t.  It seems too planned anyway, though, if you think about it.”  She bent to begin pulling on her clean leggings, but continued after a moment.  “We’re both unusual cases, and he said he’d taken council on what to do about us.  Meeting us just confirmed what he was already planning to do, I think.”  She leaned back against the bedroom wall, hands behind her head as she watched her sister dressing.  The other girl seemed to be taking a deliberately casual time, now that she was out of her formal wear, and down to her underthings.  Russellwen sighed as she pulled the clean shirt over her head.

“Maybe so, but you had me so worried, the way you were talking.  I was sure we were going to get into trouble.”  Caranwyn grinned in response, scrubbing a hand through her hair, then gave a slight shrug.

“Well, the guard at the gate told us to remember our own pride, after all.  Besides, there’s not much use in a meek captain, is there?”  She smirked as Russellwen made the small noise that had always meant the concession of a point between them.  The other girl looked up from fastening the laces on her leggings, smiling again.

“I know we all knew, and you’ve trained for it, but still…  Captain…” A giggle escaped her as she looked at Caranwyn.  “You’ll have to give me orders and tell me what to do…”  Caranwyn ruthlessly resisted the blush that tried to assault her as the other girl winked at the end of her comment, but it made it through to her cheeks anyway.  Two could play that though.  She feigned a superior pose, stretching luxuriantly, and glanced at Russellwen side-on.

“Oh, and when would you like me to start, sister-dearest?”  Russellwen had moved over to her as Caranwyn spoke, stepping right up to her now and draping her hands about her shoulders.  She answered with an impish smile, almost giggling at the play of suggestiveness, though her voice only partially teasing.

“Hmm…  How about, you instruct me on what we shall do with the rest of our day.”  As she drew close Caranwyn could smell more acutely the faint hint of fresh perspiration, left over from their run, mingled with her sister’s own unique scent.  She wrapped her own arms about the other girl’s waist, letting her hands rest comfortably on her rear.

“Well, I was thinking we might go wander the city for a while, perhaps find somewhere quiet and secluded… But I fear now that we will not make it that far for some time.  I seem to be detained.”  She leaned forward, brushing her cheek against her sister’s, before bending her head slightly to kiss several times at her neck.  She could hear the smile in Russellwen’s sigh, and the other girl hummed softly at the attention.

“Mmm… Oh but that isn’t proper at all, is it?  You should be the one detaining me, oh Captain!”  Caranwyn grinned into her sister’s neck at the feigned outrage, then gripped her waist more firmly.  She pressed herself away from the wall, then turned quickly, taking the other girl with her.  As Russellwen’s back hit the wall with a soft thump, Caranwyn stepped in against her, pressing their bodies together more closely. 

“There.  Is that better?  Now, where were we…”  She pulled her head back enough to look at the other girl’s eyes for a few moments, smirking, then bent in again, placing light kisses on the other side of her neck this time.  She felt Russellwen shift her feet slightly, moving them further apart as she pushed her hips towards gently.  Caranwyn arched one leg slightly, pressing her thigh against the other girl’s groin in response and nuzzled at her sister as she made a sound somewhere between a sigh and a moan.

“We only just got changed…  We really should have done this before we got dressed again.”  Russellwen’s voice was a mixture of desire and vague irritation, but she made her intentions clear a moment later, sliding her hands down between them to grip at Caranwyn’s chest with light fingers.  She felt herself pushed back just enough to meet Russellwen’s eyes again, before their lips met.  Caranwyn let a quiet moan vibrate through her lips, her fingers squeezing harder at the other girls rear as she leaned into the kiss.  There was something beautiful about the taste of Russellwen’s lips, though she could never put words to it.  It was another sense she could only think of as essentially her, and she always wanted more.  As they savoured the kiss, Caranwyn felt her sister’s hands slide around her back to embrace her properly, hugging her tight.  She felt her sister lift one leg off the ground until it hugged slightly around her, pressing the other girl’s groin more firmly against her thigh.

Caranwyn was about to begin removing her sister’s clothes again when she felt Russellwen suddenly flinch and go stiff in her arms, she pulled back to see the other girl rapidly blushing a deep blood red, staring wide-eyed and terrified past her shoulder. 

“What’s—” The sound of a throat clearing from the doorway made the question die on her lips as it sent a cold shock through her body.  She looked around, her heart frozen in momentary terror to see their father standing by the still-open door, looking slightly away from them.

“A few words, if I may, girls?  I’ll, uh, wait in the common room.”  He closed the door over behind him as he turned from them.

An embarrassed and fearful silence descended as the door tapped gently against its frame and the girls hurried to straighten their clothes and finish dressing.  Caranwyn swallowed, calming her nerves and trying to will the furious blush from her cheeks as she pulled the door open and trooped out into the common room, her sister close behind. 

Their father was standing by the table with his back to them, hands clasped behind him.  He turned as they approached, standing side by side now, heads down.  He was silent save for the sound of his fingers tapping against his other wrist.  They waited until he spoke.

“Girls, I’m not naïve enough to suppose that that was anything other than exactly what it was, but I will ask you anyway.  Is it?”

“Yes father.”  They answered together, though neither looked up to meet his eyes.  Silence resumed for a few more moments until they heard him draw a deep breath.  

“In taxing moments a man must let his mind work first, and hold his tongue, lest it serve him ill.”  He didn’t say more and the girls waited.  Caranwyn could feel years packed into the few seconds that followed, before he sighed, folding his hands across his chest and raising one to support his forehead.  At last he spoke again.

“Eyes up girls.  You’re adults now, and you hang your heads for no-one.”  Caranwyn raised her head to look at him properly, though doing so made the blush in her cheeks return more fiercely.  He continued when they were both looking at him.

“In truth, this answers several questions, and confirms a suspicion I’ve had for a while now.  You, Caranwyn, I have suspected that your eyes did not stray to men, though I did not expect them to wander so close to home.  Russellwen, though.  I am genuinely surprised.  What of poor Celegeth, who I am not supposed to know about?”  Beside her, Caranwyn felt her sister’s small flinch, but the comment comforted her nonetheless; he had known that Russellwen was secretly courting the boy, and hadn’t said anything against it the whole time.  Russellwen opened her mouth to respond, but her father continued ahead of her.

“It is very dishonest to lead a man on like this, if you do not wish to walk the full road with him.  Can you explain this to me, Russellwen?”  Flustered, Russellwen made a few false starts before finally putting words to her thoughts.

“I do, Father, I honestly do.  I love Celegeth, and I like…  that is I…” She retreated to her father’s own turn of phrase. “My eyes are indeed for men.  For him.  But I…  I love Caranwyn as well.  Only Caranwyn, sir.  I don’t look at women as I do men, but for her.”  Caranwyn could almost feel the heat radiating from her sister’s cheeks as she spoke.  Their father nodded slightly, then glanced back to her.

“And you?”  Caranwyn paused for a moment before responding.

“My eyes are only for Russellwen, father.  I seek no other, want no other.  I will have no other.”  She swallowed.  “There is no-one else I would rather protect, no-one else I would rather keep safe, or be with.  If you say that I love her more than is proper for one sister to love another, then so be it, but I will not back down, or allow myself to be parted from her.”  Opposite them, her father’s fingers tapped again quickly, and he glanced between them.

“Knowing that I now know this thing you have sought to keep from everyone, what do you say for yourselves?”  Caranwyn reached out for her sister’s hand, beside her, and felt Russellwen meet her halfway in the same gesture.  They clasped tight but didn’t speak, and Caranwyn looked up at her father with defiant eyes.  There was tense quiet for a few moments until their father nodded at last.

“Good.”  Puzzlement broke through Caranwyn’s determined expression at the word, and she felt taken aback.

“Father?”  He sighed, then pulled out a chair from the table and sat down.

“How can I explain this…  My first reaction, of course, is to begin shouting about what a terrible thing it is that you are doing, and how it must stop at once, and all manner of such things, but that is my sense of what is proper and right speaking, and I learned long ago that it is not the only voice one should listen to.  I’m a soldier, girls, and my life has been full of conflict and hard times.  I’ve grown very practical, and I know that this practicality must always come before propriety, especially in these times of war and darkness.”  He took a deep breath.

“I cannot say that I am comfortable with the two of you sharing what you do… so I will not ask you to what extent you share it, for fear of the answer.  I certainly cannot say that I approve.  However, I am content to put practicality first.  Caranwyn, you are now a Captain of our people, and a leader of men, young as you are.  It is a heavy duty and responsibility, and not one that we often have women bearing.  There is a practical reason for that, behind the propriety, and it is simply that, whatever indiscretions a man may make, he remains nonetheless capable of putting his responsibility first when he needs to… with women it is not so; if you were to end up with child, you would, at length, not be able to fulfil the duty to which you were assigned.  Knowing now what I do, however, I know with safety that that will never happen.  We also have no fear of you being distracted by the pleasing menfolk you will work with.” Here he managed a small grin, but then reached out to take each of their hands in one of his own.  An earnest seriousness replaced his mirth, and Caranwyn could feel him holding her hand tightly.

“Girls, you two are the brightest beacons of light and joy in my life.  I love you both deeply, and despite the darkness and strife that must fill all of our lives, I want nothing more than for you both to be happy.  It doesn’t matter if I am not comfortable with you caring for one another as intimately as you do; if that is what you want, and what brings you joy, then how could I ever deny you?  It does make me uncomfortable, and I do not approve, but let that slip your mind, and remember this instead: I am your father, I love you both, and I give you my blessing with all of my heart.”  He stood from his seat to catch them both up in a fierce hug, holding them tight and kissing each of them softly on the forehead in turn.  Caranwyn hugged him back, burying her face in his shoulder as she hid the hot prickle of almost-tears behind her eyes.  After a few more moments he released them and stepped back, smiling again, and the tension flowed out of the room in a smooth rush that almost made Caranwyn sag.  He was looking at Russellwen, who was blinking rapidly.

“And let me say, I pity poor Celegeth for having to deal with this as well, on a very different level.  Now that it’s out between us, I think he is a good match for you, Russellwen, and I have no objection to you seeing him.  Only hope that he does not run a mile when he learns what I just have.  I am a bit concerned that he has not come to see me yet, and continues to court you in secret, but I’m sure he’ll get up the courage eventually.”  Here Caranwyn cleared her throat.

“He did seek permission, father, actually.  He came to ask me though.  Said he feared my displeasure more than yours.”  Her father blinked, looking surprised for a moment, then laughed aloud, shaking his head.

“Does he now?  Well then, perhaps he is a better fit for this whole situation that I thought.”  He calmed himself before continuing.  “Now, we must come to the part that your mother would have leapt to right away, with a furious vengeance that I’m sure you can imagine.  You should be very, very glad that it was I who discovered you, and not your mother.”  Caranwyn shuddered at the thought of how their mother might have reacted.  She may have tried to send them to opposite ends of Middle Earth just to ensure it didn’t continue.  Their father continued, wincing slightly.

“She loves you both very dearly, of course, but even after all of these years, she is still very caught up in the idea of how much more formal and proper our fair city is, compared to her old home in Rohan.  She gets rather hung up on what is considered proper, and what is not.  What the two of you do, and as I said I won’t ask the extent of it, what you share would be considered very indecent, so, you must not let anyone know unless you have no other choice.  Especially not your mother.  I trust that you have been very careful up until now, and it is only ill chance that has led to this discovery, but if you can be even more cautious and discrete, then you must; you are both adults now, and there will be more eyes on you than before.”

“We understand, father.  Thankyou.”  Caranwyn could feel a relieved swell in her chest.  Their secret seemed somehow less dire, and the world less dangerous, knowing that their father was on their side.  He nodded and stretched, hiding a yawn behind one hand.

“Now, there was an actual reason that I came to find the pair of you.  The other boys are wishing to celebrate, but they are awaiting their final two.  You should go meet them in the usual mess hall.  They are quite excited about being able to call their captain, their Captain, and have it really be true.  Go, enjoy yourselves.  I’ll see you this evening, and we’ll talk about your assignment then.”  He saluted them smartly, and the girls returned the gesture, then on impulse they both darted in to hug him tightly once more, before dashing out the door.

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