-Chapter 8: Bind My Soul with Thorns-
Turning points in life. Little epiphanies. His father used to say that most people spent their life asleep. Once in a while, something would wake them up, their consciousness stirred by events or reflection. They'd open their eyes, blink at the world, learn something new. From then on, these moments would define their dreams – but not all dreams would be pleasant.
Whenever his eyes close, he'll remember what day, what place, what moment he should have denied his obsessive need for the truth.
Damn that book. He shouldn't have opened it.
Nothing happened at first. Blank pages stared at him. A musty smell tickled his nose. He looked up in question, but Saddler had disappeared. The stars winked out. His yard darkened. The ground swayed beneath his feet.
The book seemed glued to his fingers, heavier than it had been before. He sank to his knees, lightheaded, images spinning before his eyes. Voices murmured in his ears, in his head. One voice, silky and low drew him near, his consciousness no longer anchored to his dream self.
He went spinning into another time and place, lured by this speaker, this woman who meant everything to him – no, she meant everything to the
First. The First was not him. He fought to keep himself separate from the original Indigo, resisted the urge to be swept away in the rising tide of sensations.
The Indigo's feelings plowed through him; the unfamiliar sights and sounds rang through his ears. Like a child awakening in the middle of a noisy amusement park, he didn't know where to look, or what to look at.
One thing was certain. Surprising. Impossible.
They're just like us, like humans. How is that – "Jase, look. They defile our Saints," she said. He stared at her, the rush of emotion, that moment, the battle to keep his distance was lost. Leon and the First became one mind. Medeya. His mate. His world. On the winding street of white stone, in a city he knew as Sikyon, she shook against him – not in fear, but in rage. "They mock us. They mock the Creator. They think He does not see, does not hear. Fools. Spurn His love, know His fury."
He yearned to caress those lips, lush flesh pressed in a thin line. He wanted to find a secluded niche to calm her with his body. But neither was possible. Across the road, and in celebration of their victory over their enemies, the Indigo, the Sovereign were tearing the Sacred Oracles down, block by block, smashing million-year old stone that had been carved with meticulous care and devotion.
"Heretics." She spat on the ground and made the ancient sign of vengeance against her forehead. "They spit in His face. They are all damned."
He moved to comfort her, reign her in. If she lost her temper now, she would be killed. She shrugged him off, her ivory robes billowing, the trim winking gold. The Sovereign paused to stare at her. She bared her teeth and snarled like an animal.
They laughed.
A page turned, Leon felt the weight of the paper in his hand. Where was he? Was his consciousness there in his yard, holding the book, turning the pages? A dream within a dream?
He tumbled forward in the dark, unsure of who he was, who he should be. Then he heard her again. His salvation. He clung to her voice. A different scene this time, darker, a temple, stone archways, clear water gurgling from a dozen square cisterns.
"Hesitation is weak faith. The Creator demands your obedience."
How earnest she looked, her green eyes wide, her chest heaving with anticipation. Her red ringlets were wet from the fall she had taken during the fight with one of the Sovereign water sentries. No matter how beautiful her features, he always focused on her lips, their shape, their fullness. Red berries kissed by frost.
Her hands clasped his wrist, pale fingers burning. "Don't let all those hours of toil be for nothing. Don't let your brilliance be lost upon fear. You are the divine hand of the Creator. His will is yours. He gave you the knowledge for this weapon. Use it. Pour His judgment into our water. Like when the angel Empathy poured his tears into the river, forcing us to drink –
"It's not the same," he whispered the words, his eyes on the Sovereign female bleeding at his feet. He didn't know her name. She had tried to stop them, but she was just a child. Youngest of her house, no doubt stationed here as punishment for losing a duel. Their clans were so different. The Sovereign, warriors at birth. The Indigo, artists and scribes.
And one scientist with a knack for alchemy. He held ten years worth of work in his hand.
Water rushed below the glass catwalk. Beneath his feet, the lifeblood of their city flowed.
The Sovereign girl moaned, clawed weakly at the floor. She stared at the vial, the tiny blue bottle that would end everything. The girl shook her head, pleaded with her eyes.
"If you love our people, you will do this. Let the Creator decide who is worthy."
He tipped his hand.
The Sovereign girl began crying.
A roaring sound, Leon felt the years passing in chaos. Pages in his hands went from white to blood-red. Jase's thoughts flooded him, a turbulent wave of regret and bitterness.
No words could express the suffering, a world torn asunder by his hand. No words could express the guilt that he battled with daily. He forced himself to watch as children tore their flesh away, revealing what Medeya called their "rotted souls". Children. Bleeding. Dying. How could that be the Creator's plan? Seduced by a temptress with green eyes, red hair. Had he been led astray?
"Jase," she said as he thrust into her, the world in flames outside their window. Riots again. The unfaithful were trying to escape their confinement. Indigo had gone from prisoners to wardens, self-proclaimed judges of the heretics. No one would break their statues now.
"Look at me, Jase."
He did. She gazed at him with eyes no longer green. It frightened him how the hunger never ended. Even as they sated themselves here, once finished, they would begin again. And again. And again.
Never satisfied. She, worst of all.
"The Indigo hate you," he said, gasping when she seized his waist with her thighs. "They hate what they have become." That was a lie. They had made her a saint. Him as well. Their statues embraced in the center of the temple garden.
She smiled, nipped at his throat, sucked on his pulse. His breathing hitched. "It is the Creator's will," she said. "We have passed His test. The Sovereign have failed."
"Our brothers and sisters hate feeding on them. On those shriveled creatures. Their light hurts our eyes."
"It is the new way. They serve us now."
"I didn't intend this, Medeya. I just wanted the war to stop."
She pulled him down, suffocating him with her breath, her breasts. He climaxed, tears in his eyes.
"And it has," she said.
But it never stopped. The Sovereign refused to surrender to Indigo rule. Even when they became wizened and twisted, shadows of what they once had been – still they fought. He admired that.
Warriors from birth. Warriors until the end.
Medeya became disgruntled, her joy of victory dimmed by Sovereign defiance. She demanded that he study them, reveal what had caused their mutation, and what had spared the Indigo the Sovereign's deformities.
He spent months grappling with theories before he came to a conclusion. Genetics. The Indigo had encouraged their people to breed with other houses, even taking one or two exiled Sovereign under their wing. But thousands of years of inbreeding among the Sovereign clan had caused several weak links in their DNA. A shallow pool compared to a vast genetic ocean.
This news pleased Medeya. Her joy returned, even as his dwindled. She announced his findings, made certain the Sovereign heard.
Another riot occurred.
Twenty Indigo perished, over a hundred unfaithful were purged.
The Sovereign were imprisoned in the catacombs.
Years drifted by. They blurred together, ink running under his fingertips. Leon struggled to pull himself away from Jase, but Jase refused to let go. Memories came swift and hot. Years of sex and feeding, feeding and sex. Medeya devoured him, drained him dry of his knowledge and strength. Hunger and guilt were his masters. No prayers could contain his misery, no meditation could ease it.
He became obsessed with them. While Medeya played queen, and the other Indigo busied themselves elsewhere, he visited the catacombs to watch the Sovereign swim. His handiwork. His creation. They were elegant in water, their tendrils in constant motion, their eyes always fixed above, bright in their hatred. He met their gaze, but could not hold it long. Every time he tried, he felt the vial, its feather weight like a brand against his palm.
He contemplated throwing himself into the pool many times.
The courage always failed him. The Sovereign would gather below, drink his tears. He sobbed for forgiveness. They refused to answer. Medeya would come, lead him away like a child. Make love to him, feed him, worship him.
He longed for peace.
Halfway through the book now, though Leon couldn't see the pages. He felt them pass through his fingers, a ghostly sensation. He wanted to stop turning them, but nothing he did ended the memories pouring in.
Helpless, he slipped again into Jase's mind.
"Consider this a blessing, my love. Our moment to rejoice." In bed again, though they were both spent. For now. Coupling never grew dull; they even used it to test each other. Push each other. It had become a game to see who surrendered first.
It was never Medeya.
"Where did they come from?" he said. Aliens from another world, a welcome ripple across their stagnant pond.
"From the Creator's arms. He provides once again. The Sovereign are now obsolete."
Fear shot through his body, arousing him. Ironic. He flipped her over, dominating her. These chances rarely came. "We cannot feed on them. They have offered friendship, technology."
"They are fair. I'm tired of draining those obscene creatures. They sicken me."
"They are our creation."
She laughed, a tinkling sound he had started to despise. Her hips thrust higher, her buttocks squeezing. "They are yours. Execute the remaining Sovereign when the alien envoy arrives. Once we have their ships under our control, we will take their homeworld."
He closed his eyes, hating her, hating himself. Hesitation was weak faith. "Yes, Medeya."
But something happened after the aliens arrived. Disaster. The unthinkable.
Divine in her fury, she paced, her face pinched tight, her small fists curled and shaking. "Your negligence has damned us all. Fool. What were you thinking?"
"I just wanted her to see. Someone should know they existed – to know they were beautiful once. I didn't think she would try to touch one."
"How did the Sovereign do it? What did you observe?"
He looked away, remembering the alien girl's screams when the tentacles entered her. "The Sovereign had hollowed her out, crawled inside. It wore her body as a shell."
"And what of these...deformities?" Her eyes searched his. "This remolding of the flesh. How is it possible?"
"I don't know."
She moved to strike him. He flinched. Her hand went to his chin instead, caressing his jaw. "You made this plague. You designed its purpose. The Sovereign took new bodies. Can we do the same? Take another form?"
"I-I'm not certain. Why would –"
"Because they defy the Creator by existing! Two of the alien ships are missing, and they have taken five of us prisoner. I shudder to think what the unfaithful are doing to our brothers, what torture they must be enduring. The Sovereign are whole again. Powerful. Make us stronger."
"You're afraid of them."
"They are vile, worthless creatures that deserve to die. Their rightful place is swimming in the ooze beneath our feet. You know who they want. Who they will return for when they have amassed an army. You, my love. And I." She purred the words, delighting in how they affected him. Her toxic light invaded his own, nipping teeth, pinching fingers. The warmth drained from his face. He regretted not jumping when he had the chance.
He looked toward the corner of the throne room, where the alien leader crouched, limbs bound, his eyes wide with terror. Poor bastards. The moment they saw the Indigo, the aliens had been seduced by their beauty, their grace. They should have fled. "I'll need to experiment. See if we are compatible. And if we are – "
The plague had affected them all, but the Sovereign had been forced to wear their souls on the outside, the ugliness, the corruption. The Indigo had stayed beautiful, but the never ending hunger had twisted them in the inside, making them just as corrupt, tainted.
They were the same.
And if they were the same. That meant they could take new flesh. Shred the old skin and their old lives. Start over again.
Hope pushed aside the guilt. Begin anew. It seemed a fantasy. Excitement sparked inside for the first time in ages. "Forgive my hesitation, Medeya. You are right. The Creator guides us toward a new path. To doubt you is to doubt the Creator's plan. Bring the other aliens and I will begin my tests."
She kissed him. He savored it. Their old bodies pressed together for the last time.
They would have new flesh by morning.
Leon paused, his mind floating in Jase's mental sea. So that's how they began jumping bodies, jumping species. In the centuries that followed, he saw entire civilizations crumble, entire worlds fall. And it was all for revenge. To prove superiority. When the Sovereign had exhausted every resource, they moved on. The Indigo followed, but always one step behind.
With each new host, came new powers. New challenges. But something had begun to go wrong. Another weakness began whittling away at the Indigo resolve.
The Indigo were going insane.
"How can the Sovereign take new bodies and bear no consequence?" Medeya circled a newly joined Indigo, his face slack, ugly red eyes blank and staring. It was happening more and more. The newborns refused to wake. Her current form, a tanned male with short black hair, frowned in disgust. The newborn's fate, like the others, had been already decided. "Look at his light. It's putrid, revolting. I can't even bear the sight of it."
He wore a female, slim, fair-haired. The host's name had been Airi. She hovered at the edge of his consciousness, a riled beast waiting for her chance to pounce, to take back her body. He had given up taming her after the third day of joining. The other souls inside him gathered behind her, watching.
He rubbed his temples and tried to explain, "The Sovereign purge the soul along with the mind when they take a body. Or at the very least, subvert the soul. Cage it. We...cannot. With each new body, we must absorb the soul and mind into our own. We must bear their memories, all their sorrow and anger."
"It is a simple trick to silence them. A child can do it."
"But even the strongest tree will topple if it has too many nests."
Medeya unsheathed one, graceful wing. The Indigo's head rolled to the floor. No emotion except disappointment. "I don't have time for your riddles."
"Minds, Medeya. Too many minds." He wanted to shake her, make her see. Stubborn bitch. "I know you still hear the voices. You still see the hosts. You can shove them elsewhere, but they are still there."
"This is unacceptable. More and more of the newborns are becoming these useless creatures. I'm losing my brothers, my allies. Fix it."
Kill her. I'll do it for you if you want, said Airi. She perched on her ledge, eager to wrap her hands around Medeya's neck. His own hands shook with the thought. It would be easy to let Airi take control, to slip away and sleep for a while. Dream his own dreams instead of theirs. "This cannot be fixed with a spoken word. I cannot magick it away with a spell, or even my alchemy. This is deeper. Complex."
"The Sovereign are winning. They are using us for their perverse desires. Hunting
us now. Enslaving us. We must turn the tide before they can claim another victory."
Don't you tire of her wailing? Airi said.
She's the one who started it all. Her hate, her selfish ambitions. She only wanted you for the alchemy. She used you, and she keeps using you. Stop being a coward. End her, and end this war. It sounded too easy. He studied Medeya, found himself wondering the best way to sever her spine. The wings were attached there, sharp feathers that would cut him to pieces.
Yours are faster. One strike. That's all it would take. "Jase, are you in control?" Medeya narrowed her gaze at him, purple eyes in a handsome, arrogant face. It was wrong. She should be female. They were perverting the Creator's design. Every soul they took, every civilization they exploited.
We should be free, Jase. You imprisoned us. Now we can't even die. "I'm sorry." His throat caught, his hunger choking him. Three days had passed since he last fed. Their current meal supply was immune to Indigo seduction. They always begged. Cried.
"Jase, concentrate. Tell them to cease. I need you now. We will work through this, find a way –"
Killing her would be the best way. Freedom, Jase. Think of it. "It would be wonderful." His control faltered. The souls rushed him, tugged him back with cold hands. He took a breath, let himself fall. He had been wanting to sleep for such a long time.
Airi seized her chance.
When he awoke, metal bars surrounded him. He was naked, the female body he wore covered in bruises and scratches. His wings poked from his back in bloody stumps, cauterized, smeared with something that smelled like fruit and earth. A healing retardant. Medeya peered at him through the bars. Compassion looked strange on that face. The tears streaming down those lean cheeks, even stranger.
"I will remove the oil from your wings when you are sane again. Your host tried to kill me, Jase. You allowed her to take over. I have talked with the Indigo priests. They tell me you haven't eaten in days. Neglecting yourself is inexcusable. Must I feed you by hand? Sometimes I wonder how the Creator chose us as mates. You are so weak."
"Because you have taken all my strength, you filthy leech. You have glutted yourself upon me. And I deserved it. Consequences. There are always consequences. We are monsters, worse than the Sovereign. Look at what we have done. The chaos we have created. The Creator made every species in his image, just as He made us. We are destroying His people. What is happening to us is punishment. We should be purged, not the Sovereign."
"Hush, you are hysterical. I will bring food soon. You must eat, heal."
"Let me starve. Let me die."
"Never."
Days wove into one another like Sovereign swimming, tendrils always in motion. He did not reflect upon his sins. He did not pray or meditate. Medeya visited every day. Sometimes twice. She fed him. Begged him. Ranted at him. He let Airi have control more and more. He slept while she came forward. Blissful darkness. Airi had plenty to say to Medeya.
Medeya stopped coming.
He thought nothing of it. Not even when Airi prodded him from his slumber. She was hungry. It had been days since anyone had come. Alarmed, he came forward and scanned his cell. No sign of sentries. No sign of anyone. The corpse of Airi's last meal lay nearby. The smell made his eyes water.
I hear footsteps, Jase, said Airi.
But I don't think it's Medeya. He heard them also. Heavy. Slow. No Indigo sounded like that. His heart leaped in his chest. Airi tensed.
"Ah, there you are." A humanoid male lumbered around the corner, dressed in voluminous black robes. Eerie grace for one so large. Airi retreated further inside. He stared in shock. The creature pulled down his hood. White-ringed eyes appraised him, a triumphant smile splitting the once handsome face in two. Another eye winked where his lips parted, yellow and veined.
Sovereign.
"You are not one of the empty ones. Good. Imagine how disappointed we would have been. Jase the Destroyer, a drooling golem." Another joined the first, cloaked in red. Smaller, but no less intimidating. Their light burned the walls. Elders. Both of them. The most powerful of Sovereign.
"Are you certain it is he?" said the red Sovereign.
"Yes, hiding within a female. Endearing isn't it?"
"Poor thing. The demon whore locked you away, didn't she? Were you a naughty boy,
Jase?" The red Sovereign hissed his name, lips curling. "Don't worry. We shall save you, redeem you. Give you every opportunity for penance."
Leon blinked. His breath stopped. The floor felt cold. Real. The stink of the decaying corpse. Real. He blinked again. The two Sovereign stayed, glowering at him.
Oh...
fuck. This wasn't happening, No. He was in his yard. With the book. Observation only. Shit. Where was that Airi chick?Where did Jase go?
You fucking asshole. Where the hell are you? Get back here! No. I warned you against prying. You would not heed me. Now you will endure their punishment as I made Airi endure it. And all others after her. The darkness is my sanctuary. I will slumber now. You COWARD. Yes. You have realized this too late. I hope my memories will aid you, prepare you for the horrors to come. The bond is an unholy thing, but it will keep your mind from fraying. May the Creator grant you peace one day. Peace to us all. Don't leave me here! Not with him! "Child, he is gone." In the place of the red Sovereign, Saddler wrapped his hands around the bars. One yank and they snapped free. Leon scuttled into the corner, his speed encumbered by the injured stumps on his back. This was bullshit. Not fair. His wings shouldn't be damaged. What the hell would he defend himself with?
The black Sovereign bowed to Saddler. "He is beautiful, but I do not envy you. Taming him will be a challenge."
"Indeed. Leave us."
The Sovereign made another bow and pulled the hood back over his head. When his footsteps faded, Saddler entered the cell.
"This is messed up. Crazy. Fucking fucked up." He cringed in the corner, his stumps aching from pressing against the stone wall. He wasn't that Airi girl anymore, but he didn't have clothes either. That figured.
Something slithered against his leg. Saddler's sneaky tentacles wanted to play. He yelped, dodging to the side, then to the other. Nowhere to run in the tiny room. Covered in ichor, the tendrils ensnared him, limbs and neck. He found himself on the floor, gasping for air. The ceiling spun, poison surging through his body, setting his nerves aflame. "Kill me, damn you. I'd rather die than be your slave. Just kill me and be done with it."
"Where is the American hero who swaggered into my village?" Saddler growled into his face. The tentacles curled tighter. He couldn't breathe. "Where is the proud boy who massacred my people? My best men? My family. You butchered them, smiling. And you have the audacity to
command me? Kill you? No. You
obey me. You
endure me. In bonding, I keep the other hosts from consuming you. Words of gratitude should be spilling from your lips."
Saddler's face faded, then sprang back when the tentacle around his neck loosened. He didn't move. If he moved he would start rubbing like a cat against Saddler's body. The ichor pulsed inside, his blood thick and hot like syrup. Saddler's face rippled. Then it came apart. His robes darkened with fluid. The smell of blood filled his lungs. He gagged and squeezed his eyes shut. The monster mounted him, cooed in his ear. He turned away. Unfaithful. Rotting souls. Plaga. So many names.
But so elegant when they swim. He bucked in a last attempt for freedom. That earned him a soft chuckle and a nuzzle against his neck. The hooks came next. Invisible, wickedly curved. The memory of the river returned, the first attempt Saddler made to bond. This time, the hooks pierced his spine, plunging deep. He cried out, arched his back.
"Yes, yield. My soul to yours. Accept my mind and will as your own."
The hooks burrowed inside him, deeper, deeper still. His body jerked, twitched in Saddler's hold. The pain robbed him of his voice. His sanity felt compressed, twisted. Any moment it would fly apart in a spray of blood and bone. Something filled him then, thrust against a tiny place inside that brought pleasure. Heat and friction. Pure rapture. His spine and hips snapped up. His eyes rolled. His toes curled. A cry of surrender burst from his mouth. Saddler sighed, then groaned. His pace quickened. The tentacles around his limbs clenched.
The hooks hit his core, locked in place. Fused him to the monster.
In a rush of pain and ecstasy, the war between Indigo and Sovereign ended.
A sob caught in his throat. He had lost. Saddler had won.
His face whole again, and body reverting into human form, Saddler whispered into his ear. "And what a sweet victory it was. Finally, you are mine."
AN: Critique desired. Commentary on my LJ. But I do want to say, I chose Medeya and Jase's names with care. Anyone with some knowledge of Greek mythology will recognize them even though I tweaked the spelling. Also, the name of the Indigo city is Greek. It used to be an ancient city of artists and musicians.
